It was such an intimidating thought. A reminder that, as much as I prided myself in my confidence with most things, there was this thing I was so uncertain about.
Dax released my hands and slid back down my body, kissing along my spine until he reached my ass. He ran his nose along the flesh of my left ass cheek, kissing, licking, sucking gently before pulling my cheeks apart and running his tongue from the base of my balls to my hole.
I laughed, couldn’t fucking help myself because I’d never considered letting anyone play around back there, but my sense of humor didn’t discourage Dax. He licked with a ferocious intensity, and I felt the pressure of his finger pushing into me ever so slightly, just a tease, but enough to let me know that I really wanted to try this with him.
He pulled his finger out, and I heard him licking before I felt it along with another wet finger, pressing into me. He didn’t rush, allowed me time, and I didn’t resist, letting him massage his way inside me. I moved my hips, enjoying the sensation of the pressure combined with the stimulation of my cock against the sheets.
Then I felt a slight tingle, which erupted into a web of nerves that rippled with life through me, radiating out to my fingertips, making me gasp.
“There you are,” he whispered.
“Fuckin’ A.”
“You never had anyone work your prostate before?”
“Ah…no,” I confessed, and he continued playing with it. He had total control over my pleasure, my satisfaction, as he teased and toyed with that spot that could clearly so effortlessly excite me. The energy pulsing through me was so intense that I clawed at the bed, feeling like I was about to burst out of my skin with eagerness.
I could hardly concentrate until I realized that between what Dax stirred within me and the way I was thrusting… “Dax, I’m gonna…”
“Flip over and let me see.”
I obeyed. As long as he held my pleasure in his hands, I was totally subservient to him. He was my fucking master as I rolled over, his fingers still within me, shifting as I repositioned. Another quick shift of his fingers was too much for me, and as I reached for my cock, I didn’t even have time to stroke it because it was already a geyser, spraying across me.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I said as I gripped it and pumped the rest out.
“So fucking hot.” Dax rose to his knees once again and stroked his own cock.
“Shoot all over me. I want to see how far you go.”
He flashed me a smile as his cum shot across my body, mixing with mine, the warmth spreading across me. I ran my hand through it, massaging it into my skin before Dax descended onto me, pulling me close, getting our cum all over him too.
As we kissed, I rolled on top of him, devouring his mouth.
Relaxing from the thrill of that high, I tore away from his lips long enough to catch my breath.
27
Dax
“God-fucking-dammit,” Jace said.
“You liked that a lot, didn’t you?”
“Are you kidding? That was amazing. I can just imagine what it’d be like to have a cock in there.”
“Well, you still owe me that,” I said, winking.
He laughed. “Yes, I do. Gonna give you my V-card.”
“Your V-card? Well, at least your booty V-card, but I’ll gladly take it.”
“Yes, you should take it.”
We kissed again. I hadn’t meant for it to last very long, but I took my time, worshipping his mouth. His lips felt so good against mine, and I loved the way his breath hit my face. When he managed to pull away from me, he leaned back and gazed down at me, and I couldn’t stop smiling. I was cocky, knowing all that he’d let me do with him.
“Thank you,” Jace said.
I winced, surprised by the comment. “For?”
“For taking my mind off all that stuff we brought up tonight.”
“I should be thanking you for taking my mind off everything. I’ve been in such a fucking crazy state of mind all day, making probably way too big a deal out of shit from so long ago. It helped to enjoy this with you.” And I was relieved to know I could provide him with a similar sense of ease.
He started to roll off me, and I rolled with him so we lay on our sides, gazing at one another, much longer than we’d done in the past, but it was nice, neither of us talking, just being present, knowing so much more now about one another.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
“In this moment?” I was trying to be cheeky.
Apparently Jace wasn’t letting me get away with it, because he said, “I’m being serious, Dax. About everything that’s going on. With what happened with those pics and with everything we talked about.”
“Better. It all just blindsided me. Haven’t had much time to process it.” Although, messing around had lightened my mood a bit. Helped me think straight.
“Just like with my shit, it’s in the past,” Jace said. “We can sit here beating ourselves up over it, or we can move on. Trust me, I know I’m not holding Lil’ Donnie Gibson right now. I’m holding sexy, confident, cocky-as-hell Dax Munro.”
I laughed at his words, but he was right about that…he was right about a lot of things whenever we chatted. Although, that was likely part of what made him fit for his job. He could handle insanity, find a way to focus in some of the most difficult, life-altering situations I could imagine.
“Admittedly,” I began, “it’s been a bit of a struggle to remember I’m not that confused kid anymore. I know who I am these days. It’ll be annoying as fuck to have to hear the name again, but I have a whole life I’ve built for myself that has nothing to do with that.” I inspected Jace’s expression. “What about you? How do you feel about everything we talked about, with your past?”
“I’m never going to be able to look back on any of that and feel good about it.”
“That’s not how I meant it. Are you okay with this endorsement deal and being this image other people have of you…like you have your whole life?”
He shrugged. “It’s not like I’m living a lie. I am who I am, and no, I don’t wear my heart on my sleeve all the time, but I don’t think I’m a bad person because of that.”
“No, you’re not that, Jace. You’re a really awesome person, but it has nothing to do with you being easygoing. It has to do with the way you look at the world and the way you care about others.”
“Eh, I’m alright, I guess.”
“You’re better than that, but I’ll let it slide this time. I have too much other shit to figure out before tomorrow.” And boy, did I ever…
“Don’t make it too complicated, though. If you don’t want to be in the spotlight again, just tell Hacksmore that. He might be annoyed, but it’s not up to him.”
“That’s the easy part,” I said. “I already know I’m not going to use this for publicity. I don’t want us running around, pretending there’s something here that just isn’t.”
“You really think there’s nothing here?” He arched a brow before offering a suspicious glare.
“Not what I meant at all. There definitely is. I’m having a lot of fun, and I really like you, Jace.”
“Enough that you’re blushing as you say that, wow.”
My cheeks were warmer than I ever wanted to admit to myself, and I pushed at his shoulder, saying, “Shut the fuck up!”
“It’s okay that you like me a lot. I like you too, Dax.”
“I shouldn’t enjoy you saying that as much as I do.” I tucked my head against the sheets. “That’s the issue. I’m trying to decide about us.”
“What do you mean decide?”
“I like messing around with you, but I don’t want to complicate either of our lives by keeping something going that maybe we both need to walk away from.” I hadn’t wanted to say those words, but it was the thought that kept playing in my mind.
“What if I told you I don’t like that option?” Jace asked, his jaw tensing.
“Then I’d admit I don’t like it either
.”
He breathed what seemed like a sigh of relief, which made me feel more at ease than it should have.
“Come on, Dax. The worst that happens is we have some fun with each other, paps catch you in some pics with me sometimes, until people get bored and move on back to Tom Brady or whoever the fuck is more interesting, and then we have some big clusterfuck of a fight because you are just so obsessed with me and I can’t get you off my back…”
“Oh really? I’d be the one obsessed with you? What if you’re the one obsessed with me?”
“Well, come on, that’s not believable.”
“You ass,” I said through another laugh. “No, the real worst is we keep this going and wind up hating each other so much, but we’re stuck because we have a deal and have to do it anyway…and then we have this hateful, bitter, public feud that everyone and their mother’s getting off to because it’s entertaining.”
He eyed me suspiciously. “You really think either of us are the type to be running to the press if things go south?”
“I know that’s not the case.” Because he wasn’t from a world where people did that kind of shit to serve their own interests. However, that’s mostly what I’d seen throughout my life.
I had to remind myself that Jace wasn’t like the rest. He was special, and maybe that was part of what made the whole situation even more concerning. I enjoyed liking Jace Kruse.
Jace added, “So the real question is…can you deal with all this baggage I got with me right now?”
“A part of me feels like I already am now. Even if we stopped…whatever this is, we’re still in this deal together, and the media will be the way they’re going to be.”
The only way around the predicament we were in was if we stopped hanging with one another or fucking around. But I didn’t want to stop, not when we were having so much fun.
“What are you saying?” Jace asked.
“We’re clearly a thing,” I acknowledged, referencing our playful back-and-forth from earlier that day, “so maybe we need to plunge ahead into the limelight as we are and let it blow up in our faces.”
“I like the idea of you blowing up in my face, then maybe gravitate to in my mouth,” Jace quipped.
I growled as I set my hand on his hip and slid it around to his ass. “And then maybe back here.”
“Hold up. I don’t even know what that thing is going to feel like in me.”
“You had a good preview.”
“I had a great preview.” We shared a laugh, and Jace added, “And I’m looking forward to the main event.”
“Well, you do owe me a solid.”
“A solid sounds like what you owe me.” He reeled me in for another kiss.
I pulled away, still grinning from the sensations he’d stirred, coupled with the absurdity of the situation we found ourselves in. “I’m in a lot of trouble with you, Jace Kruse.”
“Trouble with me can be fun.”
“I don’t doubt that.” My gaze drifted to the sheets as I considered what it would mean if we really went down that path. “Still wondering if I can handle it all.”
Jace said, “Get your ass up.”
I rolled onto my back. “What?”
“We’re going out.”
“Going out?”
“What is totally blowing your mind about what I’m saying? Am I murmuring?”
I chuckled and sat up to face him, assessing that sneaky expression he wore.
“Come on,” he added. “News has spread around this town by now, if not from the press, then through talk, so if you want a sample to see if you can handle it, now’s the time.”
“Where are we going?”
“Fever.”
“The restaurant?”
“No, that’s Fever Pitch. The club is just Fever.”
“That’s right. That’s the place you told me not to go when you wanted to meet up with me that first day. Isn’t it a little confusing to have two places with Fever in the name like that?”
“Eh, sometimes if you make a date for Fever Pitch, they wind up at Fever, which is kind of funny since Fever is our local gay club.”
“Oh, really? So you want to take me out on the town, show off your new summer fling to everyone?”
He beamed. “Yeah, I’d like that a lot. I’ve only been for a few friends’ birthday parties, but I’d be curious to check it out now that I’m messing around with a guy.” His expression wavered. “If you’re okay with that? I don’t want to push you, but I figure it’d be a good experiment. Gives you a chance to decide if you’re in this or not.”
“It’s not a terrible idea.”
I’d locked myself in my room the moment everything had blown up. I’d been so worried about being recognized that I hadn’t faced that demon from my past yet, but Jace was right: if I couldn’t do that right then, I certainly couldn’t keep on messing around with Jace.
I considered the repercussions, but the news was out. Whether I was in Fever Falls or West Hollywood, I was going to have to deal with it at some point.
“Let’s do it,” I said.
“Are you really sure about this, Dax? I don’t want you getting in over your head.”
“We’re both in over our heads right about now,” I admitted. “But better to be in over your head with someone than by yourself. Trust me.”
Jace moved forward quickly and pressed his lips against mine. We enjoyed the moment before showering up and getting dressed to head out.
Walking to the club, I could feel the discomfort in the back of my mind, shouting, “Don’t do it”…this part of me that wouldn’t have even considered this before Jace came into my life. But there was something almost empowering about going out, about taking back control after all these years.
Lil’ Donnie Gibson didn’t define who I was.
I was Dax fucking Munro.
When we entered the club, a wide-open space with a couple of bars and boxes set up where bare-chested guys in jocks and thongs were dancing, I took it all in. The place was as packed as a gay club in WeHo or NYC might have been, but I figured it was because this was the only club option for the residents of Fever Falls.
“Damn, you got a lot of gay guys in this city,” I told Jace.
“We have more than our fair share.”
I wasn’t sure if I was just making it up in my head, but we kept getting looks. I wondered how many of them were checking out Hottie Firefighter, how many of them knew about my Lil’ Donnie Gibson reveal, and how many were just checking us out the way they might have any other night.
We headed to the bar to order drinks, and the bartender’s eyes opened wide as he exclaimed, “Hottie Firefighter and Lil’ Donnie Gibson!”—confirming my worry about just how many people had discovered the truth about my past.
Jace checked my expression as though wondering if I was going to have a nervous breakdown over being recognized.
“You got us,” I joked, but I suddenly felt like I could actually breathe again.
There it was. Someone recognized me as Lil’ Donnie Gibson, and my world didn’t come to an end. I wasn’t that confused kid all of a sudden. I was still me. And it was no longer a fear lingering over my head. It was here, it was real.
And it wasn’t that bad.
We took a selfie with the guy before taking our drinks and heading alongside the wall.
“It’s a good night, apparently,” Jace said, glancing around the place. “Wonder if this is what it’s usually like. Like I said, only been here a few times before with friends, but figured since we were suddenly out publicly, this might be fun.”
“Hey, excuse me,” an attractive twinky guy in a neon-pink thong said as he approached from the side. “You guys mind if I get a selfie?”
“Pleasure’s all ours,” I said, working to make sure Jace understood I was in this, at least for our little test that night. It was going to take some adjusting, but in some ways, it was like riding a bike. Not only had I ridden one myself, but I’d been teachin
g others since I was just starting out on my own.
When the guy got his pic, he headed off, and Jace said, “That’s something I’m still getting used to.”
“You do get used to it, though, but it doesn’t become less inconvenient. Sometimes you just have to find ways of making it more difficult for them to ask for pictures or signatures.”
“Oh, really? Any suggestions, pro?”
I laughed, thinking about the context, both in the bedroom and with his recently discovered notoriety. I took his hand and said, “Come on.” I guided him through the crowd, onto the dance floor. I noticed some more glances, but I ignored them as I turned to him and danced to the beat.
“What are you doing?”
“This is how you get away from it. They’re less likely to bother you while you’re dancing.”
“Isn’t that clever?” Jace asked, his lips curling into a smile as he started bopping to the beat. He took to the music about as quickly as he took to messing around with a guy, and I used the opportunity to show him my own moves.
We gravitated toward one another, and I slid my hand around his waist, tugging him even closer. We danced together at the club as well as we did in the bedroom. Staring into one another’s eyes, his look as intense as ever.
The rest of the club seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of us.
“I know a fire when I see it, Dax Munro,” Jace said loud enough to compete with the blaring music, “and your eyes are lit up with one.”
“I could say the same about yours.”
“Never seen a fire before I didn’t want to put out.”
“Well, I’ve already put out, and didn’t that just make the fire worse?” I quipped.
Jace laughed, and I added, “I guess if we’re going to do this, might as well go down in flames.” I leaned forward and kissed him.
Even though the music was loud, I could hear some of the people around us chatting, but I didn’t give a shit. I was having fun. There I was, at a gay club with Jace Kruse, standing in a crowd that likely knew about my past, and I wasn’t freaking out. I was still just me. And whatever happened, just like in the past, the spotlight only shone on particular individuals for their fifteen minutes before moving on to someone else.
#BURN (Fever Falls Book 2) Page 17