by Fiona Archer
Her phone sounded with an incoming text message from Ty, and her resolve became clear. She was going to make this potion, become a mother, and help her own child love who they were, gifts and all.
Chapter Three
“Holy shit balls, does this say frog nose or frog toes?” Molly stared at her mother’s scribbled writing on the Post-it note.
Pulling out her phone, she tried to call her mother, but it went right to voicemail. To further add to her frustration, she couldn’t leave a message. Her mother was the best witch around, but she couldn’t even set up her voicemail.
Typing out a text, she let out a frustrated sigh.
Molly: What the ducking hell does this note say?
Molly: Bucking.
Molly: GODDAMNIT! CLUCKING!
Molly: F-U-C-K-I-N-G. I hate autocorrect.
She tapped her foot impatiently as she waited for a reply. And smiled when she saw the little dots indicating that her mother was typing.
Jasmine: In a session, sorry. It’s frog toes.
With a sigh of relief, Molly threw in the frog toes and stirred. Once it was done, she placed it in two glasses. She figured if they both had some they’d be walking fertility gods.
She brought the glass to her nose and took a whiff. “This actually smells good,” she said aloud. It smelled minty, although she had no idea why, considering anyone who knew what was in the potion would probably vomit.
“Here’s to hoping,” she said before downing the drink in one shot.
“What ya drinking?” Ty came around the kitchen corner and slid his long muscular arms around her. He was the love of her life. Whenever he was around, she was like a pile of mush. Molly stared at him constantly, not because he was handsome with his chiseled face and defined chin that was covered in a delicious beard. Or because his body was something out of a fitness magazine that seemed to take such little effort for him to maintain. No, it was his smile, which spread into two dimples that somehow even showed through his beard. A smile that stretched to his eyes and highlighted his laugh lines—because they laughed a lot. While Ty was amazing to look at, he was supportive, loving, kind, and hadn’t freaked the hell out when she’d told him that her family was a bunch of crazy witches.
“Just a new protein shake. I made you one.” Molly handed it to him and smiled. Slight guilt crept over her, and her cheeks reddened as he took the glass. She had to do this, Molly reminded herself. While Ty had accepted her witchcraft, she wasn’t sure he’d be too keen on drinking a frog toe-laced drink to up his sperm count.
“You’re the best,” Ty commented as he polished off the drink. Molly closed her eyes, anticipating his reaction. She wasn’t sure what to expect, but it’d been such a long time since she made a potion, she half expected he’d combust.
“Yum. Minty.” He smiled. Molly let out a long breath and wrapped her arms around his neck. He polished off his drink before his lips gently pressed down on hers. Everything disappeared. Gone was the frog toes and secret potion. It was just them, their bodies humming with desire.
Their passion for each other was intense. Molly’s mother said that all gifted people had one person that they were connected to, and that they’d know instantly. When Molly saw Ty across a small café, it wasn’t just goosebumps that travelled her body; it was calmness, almost a peace that enveloped her. Molly’s brain reached out to his. It was something that she remembered like it was yesterday. His back was to her, and for all she knew he could have looked like a damn troll or the hunchback of Notre Dame, but it didn’t matter. Then he turned around, and her vagina did a happy dance. And when for the first time his penis and her vagina did the horizontal tango all night long, it was like the sky opened and shined down on them. Since then, they’d had no issues at all, until now. They apparently wanted the one thing they couldn’t have: a child.
Chapter Four
The sun danced across the walls, lighting up the room. Molly stretched, relishing in the fact that she’d woken up before the blaring alarm.
“Morning, sunshine.” Ty kissed Molly’s cheek and handed her a cup of coffee. “I hate to ask, but can you make me another one of those shakes? I tried to replicate it and it tastes like garbage and smells like rotten feet.”
Molly blinked, trying to figure out if she’d heard him correctly. He liked the potion. Fabulous. She wasn’t ready to tell him her secret yet, so what harm would another dose do? They needed all the help they could get.
“Of course. You hop in the shower, and I’ll make another batch.”
“Perfect.”
Molly heard the bathroom door close and the water turn on before high tailing out of bed.
“Fuck!” She quickly gathered the ingredients from the hidden potion cabinet. It was a regular cabinet that Molly had done a spell on so the contents looked normal. Her mother had taught her that you never knew when you’d need a secret potion.
“Babe?” Ty called from the bathroom.
“Yeah?”
“Can you make a bit extra? I’d like to take some to work and maybe have a bit for the week. If you think it’ll keep.”
Fudge nugget.
Molly knew she was going to hell in a pretty handbasket for lying to her husband.
Just tell him it's a fertility potion. Tell him you’re a horrible lying wife and you’re sorry. Offer a blow job. Ty loves blow jobs. He’ll forget the entire thing even happened.
“No problem. Extra it is!” Molly sang in a much too cheery voice.
“I’ll just make enough for the week and then that’ll be it,” Molly reassured herself. She whipped this batch up much quicker than the last one. She did notice her skills were getting better. I Dream of Jeannie didn’t have shit on her.
* * * *
“So let me get this straight. You’re letting him drink the ‘protein shake’ like it’s going to give him some big man muscles instead of telling him it’s making his sperm count all crazy?” Ginger, Molly’s best friend, asked as they ate lunch. She wasn’t a witch, although she wished she was. Ginger didn’t understand Molly’s hesitation with not wanting to practice her talents. It was hard to explain to someone that wasn’t gifted how hard it was, especially when she was a hormonal teenager.
“I know. I know.” Molly held up her hand. “I’ll tell him tonight. I want this so badly I’m willing to lie to my husband! Do you understand how crazy that is? I’ve never lied to him.”
Ginger glared at her. “People lie, Molly. It’s not the end of the world and plus he’s super in love with you. He’ll forgive you.”
Molly shook her head. “I don’t want him to have to forgive me. I shouldn’t be doing this in the first place.” She sighed.
“Then tell him.” Ginger shrugged.
Molly hated how she made it sound so simple. She glanced down at her phone, noticing it was close to 1:30 pm.
“I’ve got to head home and do work stuff and prepare. My mom’s coming over later.”
“Oh, can I come? I want to hear what your mom is up to. She’s always doing something cool.”
“Sure. She’s making dinner. Come on over. The more the merrier.”
“Sweet,” Ginger said. “I guess I’d better go back to work.” Ginger was a college professor. You would never guess it by looking at her. Her bright red hair was cut in a short pixie style. She dressed like a rebellious teenager with gauged ears and tattoos that covered most of her pale white skin. But she was a brilliant philosopher. She was only 29 and had a PhD and double masters in something Molly couldn’t pronounce. She was the smartest person she’d ever met. Molly was a professor of biology. It came naturally to her since making potions was in her blood. She’d never once used her powers in school, though. She enjoyed working for everything she received. Apparently just not her current situation. That didn’t count.
Chapter Five
Molly loved dinners at her house. It was a modest colonial with three bedrooms and a basement that could be finished. It seemed like a lot for just two people
, but someday all those rooms would be filled.
The dining room fit a nice-sized table that allowed them to entertain. Mostly that just meant their parents and Ginger, but they loved every single second of it.
“Tell me about your latest potion, Jasmine!” Ginger asked excitedly.
“Well, I made a potion for this man so he could grow facial hair,” Jasmine said.
“Seriously? Facial hair? Out of all the things a man could ask for,” Ty commented.
“Hey now, not everyone wants something big. That was a problem he wanted corrected. Problem was he drank too much of it. I told him two doses, and he drank the entire bottle in one sitting. Needless to say, he looked like a hairy gorilla for a while 'till I made an anti-potion.”
“That can happen with too much potion?” Molly questioned.
Please say no. Please say no.
“Sure, dear. Witchcraft has portion sizes for a reason.”
Molly started to panic as she wrung her hands together under the table. She looked over at Ty, who was working hard to get his steak small enough to swallow. Molly loved how close he was with her mother, but when she insisted on cooking dinner, they all cringed.
“How’s dinner?” Jasmine asked. She wasn’t the best cook, but she tried. Molly’s father always joked that she was the best witch around but could burn water.
“It’s—good.” Ginger hesitated as she attempted to cut into her steak with her knife. It was what you’d call extra well done.
“I was going for a nice sear.” Jasmine scrunched up her nose as she gnawed on her piece of beef.
“What did you put in the rice to give it the crunch?” Molly asked, genuinely interested. She had never heard of crunchy rice before and thought maybe it was some cool new recipe she was trying.
“Nothing.” Jasmine looked perplexed at the question.
Everyone started laughing.
“Crunchy rice for the win!” Ginger saluted with her fork.
“You guys all suck,” Jasmine said as she started clearing the plates.
“I hate to eat and run, but I have a meeting with a student who’s flunking my class. Like honestly, who doesn’t understand the ontology of concepts? I make it so easy,” Ginger commented.
“Right, whatever you said.” Molly laughed as she stood up and began gathering things from the table.
“Listen here, I couldn’t mix shit without burning my hair off so blah to you.” Ginger stuck her tongue out.
“Love you too, Ginger,” Molly added. She glanced over at Ty, whose face had turned a ghostly shade of white. “Hey you okay, babe? You don’t look so good.”
Ty rubbed his stomach. “Not sure. I’m going to head to the bathroom. I’ll help clean up in a few minutes. Have a good night, Ginger.”
“Now roll up your sleeves and come help me,” Jasmine yelled from the kitchen. Molly hoped Ty wasn’t getting sick. She was sure he’d be one of those men who acted like they were dying. Or maybe it was the potion.
Shit.
He’d probably have some diarrhea and be better. Molly could just blame it on the stomach flu.
“Hey, Mom, can someone have adverse effects to the fertility potion?” Molly asked as rinsed dishes.
“Not usually. Only if they drink too much. Portion sizes, remember?” She unloaded some of the clean dishes to make room for the dirty ones.
“Right.” Molly tried to convince herself that Ty’s stomachache was nothing to worry about. She opened the fridge and took out the extra potion and dumped it down the drain just in case. Now with that lie behind her, she and Ty could move forward and keep trying to make their dream of becoming parents come true without magic.
Chapter Six
“Molly!!!” Jasmine and Molly stopped loading the dishwasher and rushed to the bathroom door.
“Are you okay?” Molly turned the knob and noticed the door was locked.
“It fucking shrunk! My goddamn penis is the size of a baby’s.”
Jasmine looked at Molly wide-eyed.
“Shit,” Molly murmured.
“What did you do, Molly?” Jasmine shook her head before knocking on the door. “Ty, let me in.”
“With all due respect, Jasmine, I do not want my mother-in-law to look at my penis, especially when it’s the size of a baby carrot.”
“Let me in, baby, and I’ll explain everything.” Molly heard the door unlatch before he stormed out.
“What did you do?” The panic in his voice made Molly nervous. She fidgeted with the hem of her shirt before laying it all out there.
“I made a potion to help with our fertility. I followed the ingredients to a T. I’m not sure what happened.” Molly was fighting back the tears. She didn’t want to lose her shit. She wasn’t the one with a micro penis, after all.
Ty’s features softened, his shoulders no longer rounded but more relaxed. He glided toward Molly, taking her hand in his. “I know you want a baby. I do too, but sometimes we just need to let nature take its course.”
“But I am nature. I’m gifted. I can take things from the earth and make them into something magical.”
“If you follow the directions,” Jasmine muttered. Ty chuckled, and Molly nudged him with her elbow.
“I put in everything. The frog toes…” Molly started to list the ingredients.
Jasmine laughed. “It’s frog nose, not toes.”
“Your text said toes!” Molly let out a frustrated breath as she pulled out her phone and showed her.
“Oh. Damn autocorrect. If it isn’t frog nose and toes, it’s dong instead of dogs. That was an interesting one to have to fix.” Jasmine shrugged her shoulders and headed out into the kitchen. Molly wondered why autocorrect changed dogs to dongs but pushed aside thoughts of her mother and father’s sex life as she and Ty followed closely behind her. They talked in low hushed tones at what the hell they were going to do. They were interrupted by the sound of Jasmine pulling out a bunch of mixing bowls.
“Illusion be gone,” Jasmine said simply, and the mask over the stash of hidden witch paraphilia disappeared.
“Wait, you had this stuff in plain sight?”
Molly gave Ty a small smile. Damn, all my secrets are unraveling.
“Please tell me you can fix this,” Ty pleaded with Jasmine.
“Of course I can. I’ll make a potion, you’ll drink it, and I’ll say a few things while I hold it.”
“By it you mean….my penis?” Ty exclaimed, looking frantically between Jasmine and Molly. “No way in hell am I letting my mother-in-law touch my penis. Bad enough you almost saw it, but touch it? No. No. No.” He started pacing the floor.
“Now isn’t the time to be modest. I have to touch it to get a connection.”
“A connection with what? Let Molly do it. Please,” Ty argued.
“I’ve never done it before. I’d probably just mess it up anyways.” Molly flung up her hands in frustration.
“I trust you. I have faith that you can do this.” Ty stopped pacing and looked Molly dead in the eyes. She wasn’t sure if he was just saying it because he didn’t want her mother to touch his penis or if he meant it.
“What the hell. I can’t mess this up any worse.” Molly shrugged.
Jasmine shook her head and continued mixing things together.
Molly took the opportunity of her mother being preoccupied to talk to Ty, who still looked like he was going to be sick.
“Hey, I’m sorry. I really am. I want a baby so badly. I guess I thought this would work.” A tear escaped her eyes.
Like the amazing husband he was, Ty comforted Molly and brushed away her tears. “It’ll happen for us. I know it will. Let’s let it happen when it’s supposed to, okay? No more shrinking penis potions,” he said as he held her close.
“Okay,” Molly croaked out. “What if that’s never?” she asked between sobs.
“Never is a strong word. I don’t think we'll never be parents. There are other ways to have a child. We can adopt if it comes to that.” Mol
ly nodded her head. “But for right now, if we could focus on getting my penis back to its normal gloriously large size so I can please my woman, we can tackle the rest tomorrow.” Ty brushed a kiss to her forehead.
“You got it, babe. Operation make your penis big again is in session!” Molly perked up a bit and smiled.
“You two are ridiculous,” Jasmine added. “Here, drink this.” She handed Ty a large glass.
“Well, here goes nothing,” Ty said as he downed the drink.
“Now you’re up, kid,” Jasmine said. All eyes were on Molly. As Ty headed into their bedroom, Molly couldn’t help but hope she wouldn’t screw this up and accidently castrate him.
Chapter Seven
“Let me come in so I can make sure you don’t mess it up,” Jasmine said as she hovered by their bedroom door.
“No! It’s fine. I know how to touch a penis, Mom,” Molly said sarcastically.
“Then you have to say the words to reverse the potion that was done. Return it to its normal size.”
“Yup. I know. Sounds like something from Tangled.”
Jasmine glared at Molly, clearly not appreciating her Disney humor.
Ty sat on the bed, shaking his leg anxiously.
“Can we make this quick? I’ve got to pee again, and I really don’t want to look at my baby penis.”
Molly laughed. “Okay, babe. Let’s get this over with.”
Closing the door and listening to make sure she heard her mother’s footsteps walking away, she started rubbing her hands together.
“What are you doing?”
“I don’t want to touch you with cold hands,” Molly said as she blew into them.
“Because the cold will shrink it?” They both laughed.
“God, I love that even faced with this situation we can still laugh.”
“Yeah,” Ty agreed with a smile.
Ty was amazing. Molly’s slice of perfect that was put on this earth just for her. She channeled all the power she knew was inside of her. It was a complex feeling, much like electricity. It was always there, hidden beneath the surface. She just needed to call on it, embrace it. Molly didn’t do that often, but when she did, it was like she could do anything.