by Nora Phoenix
“He’s lucky to have you as well,” Enar said.
Vieno shrugged. “I’m not so sure about that.”
“Vieno, you’ll be so good for him. He may not realize it yet, but he’s got a treasure in you. Look at what you’ve done, even in the few days you’ve been here. I could smell the difference walking in. The kitchen looks amazing, and this is the first time in ages I’ve seen this bedroom clean and with the bed made.”
He was barely able to hold back a gasp as his own words registered with him. Would Vieno pick up on the fact that Enar shouldn’t know what Lidon’s bedroom looked like? Or would he chalk it up to them being friends and hanging out?
Vieno sighed. “I’m good at cleaning,” he said. “I like it. It calms and distracts me.”
Enar exhaled. Either Vieno hadn’t picked up on it, or he’d decided to let it go. Either way, Enar had dodged a bullet. “What’s bothering you that you need to distract yourself from?” he asked.
Vieno’s eyes sparkled with something for the first time. “You a shrink now?”
Enar put his hand on the omega’s shoulder. “No, but I am worried about you. Did Lidon do something?”
Vieno shook his head, averting his eyes again. “No. He’s been amazing.”
“Have you had sex with him again?” He hated to ask, but he had to.
“Yeah. It was good.”
That was about the least enthusiastic review of sex Enar had encountered, and he knew from personal experience sex with Lidon was a hell of a lot better than that. “What’s going on, Vieno?” he asked, his voice warm. “Talk to me, please. Something’s wrong, and I can’t help you if I don’t know what it is.”
He saw the struggle on Vieno’s face. “Do you promise you won’t tell Lidon?” he whispered.
“I promise. Unless you’re a danger to yourself or others, everything you tell me is between us.”
It took another minute, but then Vieno gave in. His eyes filled with tears as he looked at Enar. “I miss Palani… I miss him so much it hurts. Even saying his name or thinking about him makes it hard to breathe. And my heart stabs all the time when I think of him, and I can’t sleep because all I dream about is him, and I wake up sobbing and feeling guilty. Lidon chose me, and he married me, and I promised I would make him happy, but all I can do is mourn what I lost. Tell me how to fix this, Enar. Tell me how to make it stop hurting and help me honor my promises to my mate.”
Oh, good god. Enar held him as Vieno burst into tears, his slender body shaking with the force of his grief because that’s what it felt like. Grief. Vieno looked like someone who’s suffered a deep loss, someone who was trying to cope with the death of a loved one. He’d severely underestimated what the breakup with Palani would do to Vieno. How had they all missed how hard this would hit the omega?
“Sshh,” he said. “It’s okay.”
“How can you say that? It’s not okay. I’m not okay, and it’s not okay that I’m feeling this way! Every time I think of Palani, every tear I cry because of him, I’m betraying Lidon. I’m betraying my mate. How the fuck do I make this stop?”
Enar’s first reaction was that Vieno was incredibly sexy when he was angry. His second thought was that he would go to hell for looking that way at his best friend’s mate and especially under these circumstances. This was one fucked-up situation the four of them were in. Lidon, Vieno, Palani, and him, they were all connected in some way—and none of it was simple.
“I don’t know,” he answered Vieno’s question. “But, Vieno, pretending it’s not happening doesn’t help, that I am sure of. And neither does keeping this from Lidon.”
“It would kill him,” Vieno whispered, his earlier anger gone.
“No, it won’t. He’s much, much stronger than you realize, and he has a big heart underneath that bossy exterior. If he sees your pain the way you showed me, he won’t be upset with you. All he’ll want to do is try to make your sadness go away because that’s all I want right now…and I’m not your mate. This is not your fault, Vieno. None of it is.”
“Can you fix this? Can you give me something so I can stop thinking about him? Please, there has to be something…”
He tenderly cupped his cheek. “How about I give you something so you can sleep for a bit now, hmm? You’re exhausted, little one.”
He held his hand till he fell asleep, his face pale against the white sheets. And as he studied him, Enar worried. What if it took way longer than they had expected for Vieno to get over Palani? What if he never got there? He’d never even considered that possibility, especially since his suspicion about Lidon and Vieno being fated mates. Had he fucked up, been completely off?
Thank fuck Lidon had decided to claim and marry him way before Enar ever opened his mouth. That, at least, was not on him. But he had brought them together, these two, and as he looked at the sleeping omega, Enar wondered if he’d made a horrible mistake.
21
“Is this Palani Hightower?”
The beta’s voice on the other end of the line sounded timid. “It is. How can I help you?”
“I was told to call you.”
“By whom?”
“He asked me not to mention his name, said you would know once you heard what it was about.”
Palani leaned back in his chair, intrigued. “Okay, sounds mysterious, but go ahead. What are you calling about?”
The beta’s voice dropped to a whisper. “Excellon.”
Lidon had sent him. That was the only option, since he was the only one who knew Palani was investigating this. “Not over the phone. Can you meet me somewhere? Somewhere where you hang out more often?”
“The coffee place on Saxton Avenue. I’ll be in the back corner table. Just tell me what time.”
Palani looked at his watch. “Half an hour?”
“Perfect.”
When he walked into the busy coffee shop, he ordered himself a cappuccino first and decided to throw in an apple fritter as well. Not that he was hungry. His appetite had been off for days. Maybe he had something simmering in his system? Some kind of stomach bug or something that hadn't manifested itself beyond a lack of appetite.
The worry about Vieno didn’t help either. Enar had refused to share about his visit, citing doctor-patient confidentiality, but he’d assured Palani he was monitoring carefully. Apparently, he’d also be present during Vieno’s heat, which was a day away. Funny how that calendar was still etched in Palani’s mind. It would be the first heat in three years he would miss. He sighed at the all-too-familiar stab in his heart.
He made his way to the back, carrying his tray, when a dark-haired beta rose and waved at him as if they’d been friends for a long time. As soon as he put his tray down, the beta hugged him. “It’s so good to see you again,” he gushed.
The kid had skills, Palani had to admit. “You too. So glad we could hang out.”
The beta sat down with his back toward everyone else, so only Palani saw his face. “I’m being watched,” he whispered.
“How’s your mom doing?” Palani asked, taking a sip from his cappuccino. If the beta was as smart as he’d given him credit for, he’d understand what Palani was doing.
The beta dropped his voice to a whisper only Palani could pick up. “My name is Lucan Whitefield, and I’m a pharmacy tech. A couple months ago, I was arrested for unauthorized distribution of Excellon to patients who didn’t have the proper prescription.”
“That's great news,” Palani said, trying to keep up his end of the ruse. “And the rest of your family?”
“They interrogated me for an hour the next day, and at the end of that, I signed a statement. I didn’t have a lawyer present at the time because I couldn’t afford one, and the public ones often only get you into a deeper mess. They informed me they would contact me at a later time when they had investigated further. When two months later, I still hadn’t heard anything, I contacted the department. I feared I’d missed something, and I didn’t want to get into trouble. The lady I spoke
with told me they had cleared me of all charges.”
Palani barely prevented his mouth from dropping open. “That’s amazing news,” he covered for his surprise in the same tone he’d used before. “How did that happen?”
“I thought there had been a mistake, so I asked for a copy of my statement. Someone changed the statement I made and forged my signature. The statement on file is not what I signed. Hell, it’s a bogus story that’s not even about Excellon. It says I was witness to a suspicious drug delivery and shares details about what I reportedly witnessed, and that after review, I was cleared of all charges. That’s it. According to that document, I’m free to get my job back.”
Palani let his words sink in as he took another look around the place. “There’s no one else that’s been here as long as we have, so it doesn't seem you're being followed now. Unless they somehow wired you, in which case we’re fucked anyway. Lucan, why do you feel someone is watching you?”
Lucan sighed. “Don’t laugh at me.”
“I promise you I'll take you seriously.”
“I found out about being cleared a week ago. It rattled me, you know? Things like that aren’t supposed to happen, and it got me wondering why someone would clear me when I committed a felony. What motive could someone have to do this…someone with access to police records and the knowledge to falsify them? I concluded it had to be a cop, someone who didn’t want me to blow the whistle on this case.”
“How did you reason there were briberies involved? It seemed farfetched you would deduce that from fewer prescriptions in your pharmacy alone.”
“My ex works for an insurance company, one that is involved in this. He dropped something about them systematically denying coverage of certain meds on the false grounds they’re still experimental. And then he mentioned that they did more than that to discourage doctors from prescribing them, and winked at me. I broke up with him shortly after ‘cause he was a major ass, but I did a little digging and discovered he was right. I wouldn’t have said anything if I hadn’t gotten arrested.”
“Back to why you think you’re being followed, and I promise I will take you seriously because everything you’ve told me so far makes total sense.”
Lucan bit his lip. “It’s…instinct. I don’t see anyone, but I know I’m being watched.”
Palani leaned forward. “How?”
“My father is a writer. Maybe you’ve heard of him? Grayson Whitefield.”
The name clicked. “He writes wolf shifter books. I love those!”
Lucan nodded. “Exactly, that’s him. Much of what he writes is based on stories that have been told in my family for generations. To my father, those wolf shifter legends aren’t legends. They’re our history. Ever since we were young, he taught my brothers and me to trust our instincts. My older brother Bray, for instance, he’s in security or private protection, whatever you wanna call it. He relies completely on his instincts, knows who to trust and who not to. It’s why I told that cop who arrested me in the first place because I knew I could trust him.”
“Yeah,” Palani said without hesitation. “You can. He’s a good guy.”
“Coming from you, that’s high praise, considering how much dirt you’ve dug up on cops.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Palani said. “But explain to me what you mean by instincts.”
Lucan dragged a hand through his dark hair. He was cute, Palani mused. Not that he was interested in any way, but cute nonetheless. “There were times in the last week where I felt the hairs on my neck stand up, as a warning. My beta was restless, suspicious. I checked and didn’t see anyone, but the feeling wouldn’t let go. I can’t describe it better than that, but I trust my instincts. Hell, I even debated calling Bray, and if you have an older brother, you'll appreciate that’s not something I’d do lightly ‘cause he’s overprotective as shit.”
Palani smiled. “I do have an older brother, but he’s a beta like me, so that makes it a little easier. My youngest brother is an alpha, though, and I wouldn’t call him for help until I was drowning.”
“You believe me, then?” Lucan asked.
“I do. I guess I’ve never labeled it as instincts the way you do, but I do trust my gut, especially when it comes to reading people. I believe you, so let’s order another coffee, and you can tell me everything about Excellon.”
Vieno felt the familiar tingle in his body as he got up that morning. Lidon had already showered, the smell of his body wash still heavy in the air. He had to be in the kitchen, judging by the faint aroma of bacon drifting in. The tiredness and sleeping in was another sign it was almost time, as Vieno was usually up first. He’d always made breakfast for Palani, and he’d done the same for Lidon the last few days. But now his body was charging, knowing there would be little sleep in the days ahead.
He put on some underwear and a pair of jogging pants. His coming heat had always been a source of major stress. This was the first time that he had an alpha to take care of him, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Was it okay to feel relieved? That wasn’t very nice toward Palani, who had done everything he could to help Vieno over the years.
Vieno bit his lip as he pulled a shirt over his head. He was relieved, though. The knowledge that Lidon could provide what he needed made him fear his heat far less. He still worried about Lidon’s reaction about what would happen. When his heat hit hardest, he’d become bossy and vocal and demand…things. And no matter how much Lidon had assured him he was fine with it, Vieno wasn't convinced until he’d seen his reaction firsthand. Well, that was about to happen. In thirty-six hours, give or take, judging by the state of his body.
At the same time, he was also strangely looking forward to it—another source of guilt toward Palani. Vieno had been so out of it during his previous heat that he could barely remember the details of the sex with Lidon. He remembered feeling sated, the glorious sensation of that knot, but little more. Being able to fully experience being taken by an alpha during his heat, yeah, that did excite him.
Then again, thinking of Palani dimmed that excitement. God, he was a fucked-up mess. Enar had assured him it would take time to get over Palani, and Vieno wanted to believe him, but fuck, it hurt. He wasn’t sure how long he could pretend everything was fine toward Lidon, since he already seemed to sense something was off. He gave Vieno these long stares with a tortured look in his eyes.
The door opened softly, and Lidon stuck his head around the corner. “Oh, you’re awake.”
“I’m sorry I overslept,” Vieno apologized.
“You need all the sleep you can get today,” Lidon said, his voice warm, affirming to Vieno that he knew it was almost time. He stepped close to Vieno. “How are you feeling?”
“Tired and hyper at the same time, if that makes sense. I need to cook today, if that’s okay with you? To prepare meals for us for.”
Lidon’s arms came around him from the back, and he kissed the top of his head. “I’d counted on it. I picked up all the groceries you put on the list yesterday, so you’re all set.”
Vieno relaxed against the broad chest behind him, letting his head rest against Lidon’s shoulder. “Thank you.”
“I’m off for the next three days, and I can take a fourth if necessary.”
“Your boss didn’t give you a hard time?”
“Nah. Newlyweds and all that. Plus, they know I claimed you, so he knows you need me during your heat.” With slight pressure, Lidon coaxed Vieno into turning around and facing him. “Enar will stop by tonight, and he’ll stay here for the first twenty-four hours as a precaution.”
“Precaution for what?”
“I’m not sure what to expect now that you’re in better shape than last time, and I want him there in case we need medical assistance. Plus, you need those shots to prevent a pregnancy.”
Vieno’s eyes grew big. “Medical assistance? You’re scared of what I will do?” His heart dropped.
“No, sweetheart. I’m scared of what I will do. I could
smell you from the kitchen, even over the bacon and everything. I’ve been hard since we went to bed last night. I’ve never experienced anything like this, and I’m terrified I won’t be able to control myself.”
Vieno couldn’t bear to see Lidon’s face. The man had to regret the hell out of marrying him already, let alone claiming him. He was nothing but trouble, an endless nuisance, for everyone around him. “I understand,” he said, his throat constricted.
“I’m sorry,” Lidon said.
“You’re sorry? For what?”
Lidon lifted his chin up with a single finger. “I should have asked you if you were okay with Enar being present instead of assuming you were.”
“You’re the alpha. It’s your right to make those decisions for me.”
“Did Palani decide for you like that?”
Unexpected pain stabbed through Vieno’s heart, and his shoulders lowered. His gaze dropped to the floor. “No. We did everything together.”
“Yeah, that’s what I figured.” He cupped Vieno’s cheek. “I’ll try, okay? It doesn’t come naturally to me, but I’ll try.”
Vieno nodded, his head still down.
“Are you okay with Enar being there?”
Lidon had made a good argument for why Enar’s assistance could be needed. Vieno had no idea how his alpha would react, truth be told. After his disastrous first heat, the only one who’d ever been with him had been Palani, and he seemed somewhat immune to the pheromones Vieno was throwing off. Having a backup in case things went pear-shaped wasn’t the worst idea. Besides, it was Enar. The man had already seen everything anyway.
“Yeah, that’s fine.”
Will Palani be there? The question was on the tip of his tongue, but he held it back. Of course, he wouldn’t be there. Lidon would never allow it, and even if he did, Palani wouldn’t want to be forced to watch Vieno be taken by his alpha. Again. It had to be torture for him, and Vieno couldn’t ask that of his best friend, no matter how much he missed him. No matter how much he wanted him there, if only because he’d be the one person Vieno could count on who wouldn’t judge him.