by Nora Phoenix
For Enar, it was different. He didn’t share that optimism, that sense of belonging. He felt it at times, after his bathtub-moment with Lidon, for instance, or after talking to Palani, but then a day later, doubt would creep back in. The doubt that nagged him that he wasn’t a part of them, that he would never be. The thoughts that pestered him that they’d be so much happier without him. The ever-present voices in his head that whispered or even shouted he was a poser, a fake, and that he would never belong anywhere.
Still, he’d said yes. Truth be told, his reasons were more practical than anything else. He’d considered putting his townhouse up for sale before and find something cheaper. He was never home anyway, so an apartment would be fine and much more affordable. That’s what he told himself as he signed the sales contract for his house, smiling at the young couple who bought it hours after he’d put it online. They were excited to start a family in the desirable neighborhood Enar was in.
He couldn’t blame them. It was a perfect place to raise children, which is why he had bought it, years ago when he’d still harbored hope he’d find an omega who accepted him and even grow to love him. It hadn’t happened, and it was time to face that. If things with the four of them didn’t work out—as he expected—he’d find an apartment. Fuck knew he needed the money from the sale to finance new surgery equipment. That shit was expensive as fuck, and his income didn’t allow to take on an extra loan.
“You ready to load, Doc?” Palani called out from outside.
They’d rented a moving truck to transport his things to Lidon’s ranch. He’d wanted to sell most of his furniture, considering Lidon had a decorated living room and everything, but Lidon had suggested he’d put it in the empty rooms that had been closed off till now. That made sense, and if he wanted to move out, at least he could take everything with him again.
“Yeah. Everything’s packed and ready to go,” he told Palani, who walked in to find him when Enar hadn’t answered.
“Okay, I’ll tell Lidon’s cousins.”
Enar nodded, then looked around his empty house one last time. He felt strange leaving it, as if he was abandoning a dream he once had. Maybe he was leaving it for something better? If the four of them did work out by a miracle, they could start a family someday.
The thought of Vieno with child stirred a deep longing inside Enar. The omega would make such a sweet, caring daddy. He seemed to have a double dose of the nurturing instinct most omegas had, wanting nothing more than to please others and take care of them. The difference he’d made in Lidon’s ranch was remarkable. He’d turned every room sparkling clean, everything dirty was gone, and the whole house smelled fresh and homey.
Vieno was born to be a daddy. And Lidon would make an amazing father. Strict but loving and just. He certainly had the genes for it. It was a shame that betas couldn’t produce offspring with male omegas anymore, because Palani would have made an amazing father. God, he was so kind and attentive, always tuned in to the needs of others.
Enar wasn’t so sure if he wanted kids anymore. Well, not biological kids anyway. He was so busy with his work that he’d barely have time to see his kids. Besides, his DNA wasn’t the most suitable to pass on. His fucked-up identity, what if that was hereditary? What if his kid would never figure out where he belonged, like Enar himself? And even if he’d have a child with a clear sense of identity, what role model would Enar be? He couldn’t show how to be an alpha, but not how to be a beta either. He was always something in between.
He had a perfect alpha role model for his kid, though, didn’t he? Lidon could show him how to be a real alpha. And Palani was a classic beta who could lead the way there. And in Vieno, his son would have an example of a real omega. In that sense, his son wouldn’t need Enar to be perfect. Hell, he could have a girl, and the whole problem would be solved. The thought was exhilarating and frightening at the same time. What an idiot he was, daydreaming of creating babies with Vieno when five minutes earlier he was certain he didn’t even belong. God, his head wore him out more sometimes than the long work hours ever did.
“You okay?” Lidon asked, startling him.
He spun around. “Yeah. Just lost in thoughts for a minute.”
“Not having second thoughts?”
Lidon’s eyes studied him as they so often did, his gaze analyzing yet kind.
“No. Some doubts, I guess?” Enar confessed, not wanting to keep all his emotions a secret. He could share a little to see how Lidon would respond.
“Come here,” Lidon said, but it was more a gentle request than a command, even as his hand reached out to pull Enar toward him.
Enar went, allowing himself to be pulled, to be held by those strong arms. At first, Lidon merely held him, and even that calmed Enar. Lidon’s presence always did.
“I know you still struggle,” Lidon spoke after a while, his voice soft and kind. “I see the battle in your eyes, in your body language when we’re together. Not just with the four of us but with me most of all.”
“It’s so hard to figure out how I should behave,” Enar whispered, coming as close to the truth as he dared to.
“I won’t say I understand, because I can’t even begin to imagine what this must be like for you. I know you’re trying to come to terms with far more than our relationship and something far deeper than what we’re building with the four of us. And you don’t have to talk about it with me, ‘cause I think you’re not ready, and I know damn well I’m not good at talking. But I think you’ve found that person in Palani, and that makes me happy. And when you are ready to talk, I promise I will listen and I will accept.”
Lidon had seen and understood more than he’d given him credit for, Enar realized. He’d simply respected Enar’s need to work through it himself first. “Thank you. I will talk about it…soon.”
“Okay. We’ll be ready.”
“Lidon?” he asked, his heart beating fast. “I have a request.”
Lidon pushed his head back until they faced each other, his brown eyes serious. “Tell me.”
He wanted to beg him not to laugh at his request, but then realized he didn’t have to. Lidon would never laugh at him. He’d sense the need the request originated from and would honor it. He let go of his nerves.
“Could you please kiss me? Not because it’s required or expected, but because I want you to…because you want to?”
Lidon smiled. “With pleasure.”
The alpha’s strong hands cupped his cheeks, his brown eyes caressing Enar’s face. “You’re so much braver than you think,” he whispered. “I wish you could see yourself the way I do, the way I know Vieno and Palani do. Someday you will, I hope.”
Before Enar could answer him, Lidon kissed him. It was a soft kiss at first, warm lips pressing against his, then a tongue slipping into his mouth. It was so easy to surrender, so he did, letting Lidon in, allowing him to swipe his mouth, taste every corner, claim every little bit. He pressed him against the wall, his hard, strong body pushed against Enar’s in a way that made Enar’s head spin. His cock grew hard, his heart rate jumped, and his breaths quickened.
“Are you guys ready?” he heard Palani call out.
Lidon ripped his mouth off and, with his eyes trained on Enar, called back, “You guys go ahead. We’ll follow in my truck!”
Palani laughed, and Enar watched Lidon as they both waited till the house grew quiet, the definite click of the front door indicating everyone else had left.
“Lidon, you don’t—”
“I wish I could fuck you right now, but I don’t have any lube, and I refuse to hurt you. So we’ll improvise.”
Enar’s eyes widened. He’d not been expecting this. Sure, Lidon was hard, but he’d never fucked him without Enar asking for it or outside of Vieno’s heat. Enar hadn’t even been sure Lidon wanted him like that.
“I-improvise?” he asked.
“Take your clothes off,” Lidon ordered, and Enar obeyed, even though Lidon hadn’t used alpha compulsion.
As soon as he was naked, Lidon’s hand wrapped around his cock, which already stood at attention but grew even stiffer in that tight embrace. “You know what I think? I think I’ve been too focused on trying to give you space, trying not to force you to do anything you don’t want,” Lidon said conversationally.
Enar swallowed. Where was this going?
“I’ve approached it all wrong. Before, I never asked you what you wanted. I took because I knew that’s what you needed. You need to stop thinking, to not have to make a choice, and that’s what I provided. So we’re going to try that. I’m gonna take, and you’re gonna give me what I want…aren’t you?”
He nodded automatically, but his heart raced at how right it felt.
The hand around his dick tightened, and his breath caught. “What do you say when your alpha asks you a question?”
Could it really be this simple? Maybe he’d overcomplicated things. Maybe they both had. “Yes, alpha.”
Lidon unbuttoned his jeans, then whipped his shirt over his head. He was a god the way he stood there, all muscles and glorious skin, rippling with power.
Lidon held out his hand to Enar’s mouth. “Spit in my hand,” he told Enar.
Enar obeyed without questioning.
“More.”
When he was satisfied, Lidon used the spit to slick both their cocks, then grabbed them in his strong hand. “I’m gonna jack us off together, and you’re not gonna come until I do, are you?”
“Yes, alpha. I mean, no alpha.”
He moaned as Lidon rubbed them together, so slick with his spit, so perfect and filthy, those two big alpha cocks together. He rutted against his hands, his hips moving of their own accord. Lidon sought his mouth again, pushing him against the wall, even as he jacked them off, completely invading Enar’s mouth, his will, his soul.
Enar surrendered, letting himself be swept away until Lidon came with a satisfied growl. Enar fought back his own release, even as Lidon’s cock pulsed against his, his cum landing on Enar’s stomach.
Lidon took a step back, his hand still tight around them, his eyes seeking Enar’s. And Enar submitted all over again as he waited for his alpha’s permission.
“Come for me.”
10
Palani was decidedly discontent with the lack of progress on his Project X. He’d made little headway in the last weeks. He’d been able to confirm that Internal Affairs was indeed looking into Ryland, but his source had refused to provide more information than that, displaying the same distress and panic Susan had shown weeks before. What the hell was it with this Ryland guy that people feared him this much?
He’d wanted to do more digging, but in his defense, he'd struggled to find the time. He’d focused on writing a series of articles on George York and the Conservative Wolf Party first, a series well received by both Franken and readers of the newspapers. Palani had managed to dig up some interesting tidbits from the CWP’s program that had sparked debate about the position of omegas and how to improve certain systematic problems. Many people agreed that while the problems were real, the CWP’s solutions seemed farfetched. That, of course, made Palani wonder all over again where the support for the CWP came from.
Franken had asked him to keep focusing on York and the CWP and follow up with new insights, and so Palani had. He’d interviewed staunch supporters of the party as well as opponents and concluded the latter were a hell of a lot better informed than the first. Some supporters possessed no clear concept of what the party advocated beyond “more omega rights,” as one man he’d interviewed worded it.
The opponents, on the contrary, seemed well informed on the CWP’s revolutionary ideas and spared no effort in trying to convince Palani of the sheer stupidity of said plans. Some belonged to existing political parties, but a few confessed to supporting another new group called the Anti Wolf Coalition. That name didn’t deserve points for originality, but it made the main objective crystal clear, Palani had to admit. And like their counterpart the CWP, the AWC was getting traction.
It made for captivating articles, and Franken was happy with him again. That was a big relief, so maybe he should be grateful for that instead of berating himself for not following up on Excellon. Today, he'd finished work early, which left him with a few hours to spare, so he decided to pick his investigation back up and see if he could make some headway.
He read through his notes on Excellon and Ryland. What should he focus on next? He’d tried three different sources to get access to the police version of the report that Dr. Vandermeer filed but with no success. It left him no choice but to ask Lidon, so he called him on his private cell.
“Hey you,” he said when Lidon answered.
He still struggled with what to call him, how to approach the alpha. He was so damn sexy, but so was Enar, except Lidon was also fucking intimidating. There was something about him, an aura of power and strength that reached deep inside Palani and made him want to serve the man, somehow. Well, he did serve him regularly…that morning, in fact, as he and Vieno had worked together to give the man a blow job he wouldn’t soon forget. He’d been rewarded by being fucked thoroughly, and his ass still throbbed with the aftereffects.
“As much as I like to listen to you breathe, I assume you called me for a reason?” Lidon said, his voice dripping with amusement.
Palani felt his cheeks heat. “Yes, sorry. I got distracted by…yes, anyway.”
Lidon chuckled. “Memories of this morning?”
“Yes, sir. Very happy memories, in fact. But that’s not why I called.” He quickly made his request. “I tried my usual sources, but they won’t touch this.”
“Why?” Lidon asked, his voice serious now.
“Can you talk?” Palani checked.
“Yeah. I’m outside, getting a decent coffee instead of the absolute dredge they serve at headquarters, before a meeting with city officials. Talk to me, what’s going on?”
“I get the feeling Ryland is bad news. My contacts are terrified of him. One source mentioned he’d gotten people fired, then replaced them with his own men. IA has been trying to nail him, but their witnesses and evidence keep disappearing.”
“What?”
Palani heard the horror in Lidon’s voice, and he cringed. It had to be hard for the man who boasted such high morals to hear this about a fellow officer.
“I’m sorry,” he said, swallowing back the “baby” that teetered on the tip of his tongue. Somehow, that term of endearment seemed inadequate for Lidon, and he doubted the alpha would appreciate being called that.
“Let me see what I can do,” Lidon said, his voice tight.
“Be careful,” Palani said, echoing the sentiment Susan had communicated to him.
“Yes. I will be. And, Palani?” Lidon’s voice had softened.
“Yeah?”
“You can call me baby…”
Lidon’s laugh drifted into Palani’s ears before the cop hung up. He’d caught on to that, huh? Not surprising, as the man was sharp as a tack. He didn’t miss much, though he preferred dealing with information rather than with emotions. The way he and Enar danced around each other was as frustrating as endearing. These two strong men, who felt so much for each other but seemed unable to express it. They’d made another step on moving day, Palani had noticed, but progress still continued at a snail's pace.
But he'd leave the issues between Lidon and Enar for another day. He had a task to get back to. While waiting to see if Lidon could get him that report, he’d do a little digging into Lukos. His fingers flew over his keyboard as he searched.
Lukos was founded seven years ago but didn't have registered employees until five years ago. Huh, interesting. How had they survived the first two years without employees?
It took him a while to wade through the legal structure behind Lukos for which complicated proved too tame a word. It was owned by a shell corporation, which was owned by another corporation, which was owned by…the list was endless. He’d dug six layers deep now, but he was no
closer to finding out who owned the damn company. Sure, there was an official website, which showed a CEO and a board of directors, but it mentioned nothing about the owner. Hmm, weird.
Their website showed their main products, including Excellon. It also listed Optimon, a birth control method for male omegas, categorized as “pending final approval by the Drugs Agency.” The third drug was named Mollison, but the “X34” behind brackets made clear it was the heat suppressant Enar had told him about. They had three products, all aimed at male omegas, Palani noticed.
Palani’s suspicion about the three award patents in such a short time was still fresh in his mind. How had they pulled that off?
He made a quick phone call and requested all three patent files from the patent office. They responded much faster than he’d dared hope, and an hour later, the three files popped up on his screen. The medical jargon meant shit to him—he’d have to ask Enar if he could spot anything strange there—but one thing stood out: all three patents listed the same name as the doctor claiming the patent on behalf of Lukos: Dr. Jerald Eastwood.
He googled him but found no information other than an official bio that listed all his degrees and shit, but nothing personal. Granted, his list of degrees was impressive, but how had this man managed to get three patents awarded this fast? Palani leaned back in his chair to ponder it. Five years was a ridiculously short time for research, especially medical research. Eastwood had to possess experience in this specific field, or he'd brought knowledge in from a previous employer? Or patents?
Palani did a reverse search on the patent website to see if the man had any other patents registered to his name, and what did you know, a few results popped up. He clicked them, curious what the good doctor had worked on before his career with a brand-new start-up. Antidepressants, fertility drugs, and three different pregnancy vitamins—all for male omegas. What was the man’s fascination with omegas? These were all registered by him while working for a company called Ulfur. Why would a renowned doctor like Eastwood have switched to a start-up like Lukos?