by Dakota Krout
Joe almost tripped on his own feet as he jerked his head to stare at his suddenly-smug mentor. “Thrice… you have three skills at the Grandmaster ranks?”
“Enchanting, Sculpting, and the natural progression of the two: Golemancy.” Havoc’s mood seemed to turn for the better, though he was still sullen.
“Are you… is this an offer to teach me?” Joe offered the question hopefully, all thoughts of McPoundy having already fled to the darkest portions of his mind.
“I’ll tell you a fact.” Havoc pushed open the door to his manor. “Becoming my Apprentice is going to be harder than becoming a Noble, and I refuse to pass on anything to some random slob. Figure out a way to impress me while I’m stuck with you, and we’ll talk some other time.”
“What would impressing you look like?” Joe repeated the question twice, but Havoc simply ignored him and let the door swing shut as he vanished into the manor.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Joe was mentally drained after such an interesting day. He went to ‘his’ room and dropped onto the bed, abruptly launching himself off as the blanket gave a furious yowl and his Exquisite Shell flickered.
Exquisite Shell: 2345/2346.
Health: 1,504/1,574
There was a tiny *slap* as his shadow materialized and hit something, pulling Joe’s attention to a small animal that was hissing at him. “A cat? Why is there a cat in here?”
His mind flashed back to the cat that the Elves had impaled. After peering closer, Joe determined the cat wasn’t the one he had saved earlier. “What breed of cat are you… what I saw earlier was a Birman; you… I have no idea. Query?”
Query succeeded! What a waste of getting an answer from what is essentially a god-like figure, but sure. He’s in a good mood today. This cat is an ‘Abyssinian’ breed. According to information publicly available to humans, it is one of the oldest known breeds and is recognizable by its distinctive features.
Skill increase: Query (Novice III). You can use this once a day. It is a powerful tool. Why are you not? -Tatum.
The message made Joe remember a few other powerful one-a-day skills he had, and he swallowed hard as he realized that he had gone this whole time without increasing his lore skills every day. He kept his eyes on the cat, then glimpsed the scratches on his arms. “How did you get through my shield?”
Combat log:
Joe startles Unknown.
Unknown counter-attacks and deals 1 physical damage, 69 true damage.
His eyebrow lifted, and he stepped away from the cat, which started to calm down. “True damage? Now I have to watch out for true damage? What in the world are you? Who let you in?”
The cat didn’t speak—which was actually surprising in a magical world like this—and simply stared at him, as if telling him to figure it out on his own. Seeing that it wasn’t coming after him beyond that first strike, Joe started dealing with other pressing matters. The first order of business was to boost his lore skill and get back to using his beneficial abilities. “Knowledge, Smithing Lore!”
Skill increase: Smithing Lore (Beginner III).
Information on materials and alloys flowed into his mind, stopping sharply after three seconds. Joe held his head as the influx and rapid mana usage created the expected headache. The cat observed all of this calmly, and Joe glared at it. “You know, a dog would care if someone were in pain.”
Not getting a response, Joe decided that he needed to see someone friendly. “Mate, come on out!”
The coffee elemental bubbled into existence on his arm, steaming happily. Joe held out a hand, willing the shadops to… “An~n~nd I forgot that I can’t make cups out of shadows anymore. It’s been almost two months; why is that still my go-to?”
Joe searched through his ring and pulled out a small teacup, grimacing as he noted a large chip in it. “How did I break this?”
Everything was harder before coffee. Joe had Mate make a small but potent cup of espresso and took a long minute to savor it. He motioned at the cat with the broken cup. “Want some coffee, cat?”
Mate then noticed the cat as well. It bubbled and steamed, and the cat hissed. Mate hissed like a kettle, then vanished into Joe’s sleeve once more. Joe stood and slowly backed away from the cat, “What are you, really? I don’t trust anything that my coffee doesn’t.”
At that moment, the letter that Joe had gotten earlier in the day somehow ‘fell out’ of his ring. That had never happened before… and shouldn’t have been able to happen. A spatial device was a sealed space. There had to be some shenanigans afoot. Trying to keep an eye on the cat, Joe opened the letter and read over the information, a frown growing on his face the entire time.
To whom it may concern,
As thanks for your self-sacrificial gesture of saving me, I have applied to have you honored by our royal family. What I did not expect was that you have proven yourself worthy of an audience from the Queen herself. Please prepare yourself, as she will be arriving shortly. I recommend having a feast prepared, and a place of honor for her Majesty to take her ease.
My deepest thanks are yours, for saving me from the thoughtless Elves that made an attempt on my life.
Your biggest fan, Cindy Clawford.
“The Queen?” Joe looked up at the cat, who was currently sitting in a regal pose on his bed. “You’re a Queen? Of what? Cindy Claw… nope. Nope. What’s going on?”
The cat released a light sigh and jumped off the bed toward him. Between one breath and another, the small animal shifted into a small person, roughly the size and height of a nine-year-old human. “We are Queen CleoCatra, and we will forgive this impurrtinence only because we saw you unseal the letter; we understand that you could not have expected our arrival. We suppose that one of the risks of being a hidden race… is that no one knows who or what we are. Joe, we are here at the behest of one of our subjects, a celebrity among us, to judge you for rewards.”
“I really have no interest in-” Joe was cut off by a sharp gesture from the tiny woman, who looked very human, if you ignored that her ears were faintly furry and her hands extended claws when she was upset.
“It is not up to you if we decide to reward you or not,” CleoCatra hissed at him. “You have saved one of our people, and now ask for no reward? You have met our people before, and they even assisted you to make an intelligent choice that impacts you today. Why do you dislike us so much that you would happily reduce our Karmic Luck to such a degree?”
“Wait, you know what Karmic Luck does?” Joe almost took a step forward, but a lazy slash from a clawed hand forced him back a step.
“There are few things we have no knowledge of. We took the day to follow you and study your struggles, and we have decided upon helping you in what you lack most. Therefore, we will take steps to rectify this weakness on your behalf.” CleoCatra’s eyes shone a deep blue and held a surprising depth of wisdom. “You may ask your questions.”
“I…” Joe was surprised to find that he had numerous questions. “You said you were a hidden race? What does that mean? Also, are you speaking about yourself using the royal ‘we’, or is there a group of stray cats following me around?”
Reputation with Occutatum has increased by 500! Congratulations on finding a hidden race! Current reputation: 4,042. Reputation rank: Ally.
“I speak for my people as a whole.” Cleo stated directly, if somewhat snippily. Joe decided not to call her people ‘strays’ again. “We refused to enter the war between sentient beings. We will not be a Unified, nor a Shattered, race. This has benefits, as well as certain… downsides; the main one being that all the others in the conflict see us as weak for our neutrality. We are not welcome in most populations, if they find my people among them. Hence, we are loath to leave our best forms and take on the appearance of others.”
“Why did you refuse to enter the fight?” The question seemed to jump from his mouth on its own.
CleoCatra took it in stride, letting out a yawn that exposed too many sharp teeth f
or her to be mistaken as a human. “Too much effort. None of our people want to create or go to war. Why should we, when others willingly become our servants as soon as we appear?”
Joe nodded at this explanation, since it was well known that becoming a pet to another group meant that your progress would stop, for one reason or another. “If you don’t mind me asking… what are your people called?”
“We…” CleoCatra posed proudly, “are the Nyanderthals!”
Keeping himself from laughing was a harder challenge than fighting the Zombie Dwarves in the landfill had been. Joe managed to only cough and wipe his watering eyes. “I… thank you for your offer of help. Oh, you mentioned that I had met your people before?”
“Once. You were looking for inspiration and found some of our people playing in their human forms. You joined in, and they offered you some chalk in thanks for your participation.” CleoCatra saw that Joe didn’t remember, but she didn’t seem to mind. “You likely mistook them for children, if that helps.”
“Not… no, not really. Sorry.” Joe decided to get to the point he was most interested in. “You said that you found what I ‘lack most’ and were going to help me? What exactly did you mean by that?”
“Well, human that has been blessed by the gods from your first moment here…” CleoCatra’s eyes flashed alarmingly. “We find that what you lack most is the ability to properly deal with, and learn from, failure. So, we have come here to save you by forcing the issue. You can thank us later.”
Chapter Thirty
“I mean…” Joe stared at the cat queen with total befuddlement. “Can we… not? I like not having extra failure to deal with. I’d like to go back to the point where I was saying ‘no’ to the reward, please?”
“You do not understand our decree. You think of it as a threat?” Cleo ignored him and pulled out documents from a storage device, handing them over and decisively stating, “No. We have decided that we are going to help you with these problems. These are an act of gratitude for rescuing our subject. As payment for our continuous services, we will require food and warm areas for sleeping, perhaps belly rubs if you have been extra good.”
With that final assertion, she hopped back toward the bed, a cat once more. No matter what Joe stated, asked, or demanded, she refused to leave her cat form again. “I still have questions, you frustrating feline!”
“Why are you yelling at a cat?” Havoc appeared in the opening of Joe’s door, and was watching the interaction with amusement. “They’re domesticated monsters from another Zone. Pets. They don’t speak.”
“This cat-”
*Hiss*.
The noise made Joe realize that he was about to let the cat out of the bag, so to speak. “This cat… won’t move off my bed!”
“Are you trying to go to sleep? What’s the issue? Also, we have that meeting with the third Princess; you don’t have time for bed.” Havoc noticed the paper in Joe’s hand, scooting closer instantly. He could tell that there was something magical going on here. “Was that your letter? What is it… a template?”
Joe looked at the paper that CleoCatra had thrust into his hands for the first time, noting that there was indeed a weapon template on it. However, no matter how he studied it, the details made no sense. “Yeah… I got this as a quest reward.”
Havoc took the paper and looked it over, frowning and handing it back after a long moment. “Pah. Blacksmith stuff, there. You’re gonna need to take it to McPoundy if you want to make heads or tails of it. I can tell you all about the enchantments it needs, of course, but they are all out of context. Why would this need to expand to such a degree that it requires spatial enchantments? Hmm. That aside, are you ready to go see the Princess?”
“Sure, how far away-”
“She’s downstairs.” Havoc looked at Joe and grumbled, “You look as good as a human can reasonably be expected to look, and at least you have no smell. At all. Not sure how you manage it, but it’s nice. Most of your people smell like leftovers, cheese, and onions.”
Joe ignored the jab and glanced down at his simple gear. He was dressed in a simple shirt, shoes, and pants; his codpiece underneath, and his Robe of Liquid Darkness over it all. As he didn’t currently own different clothes, Havoc was correct in thinking that he looked as good as he currently could. He followed the stomping Dwarf down the hall and into the reception area.
Various guards surrounded a Dwarf with braided golden hair and matching mustache, the first Dwarf Joe had encountered that had hair on her head. She looked over Joe in confusion, then turned to Havoc. “It’s a… male of its species, is it not? How can they tell?”
“Mostly guesswork and bone structure, Princess Dawnesha Embertank.” Havoc was clearly providing Joe with the Princess’ name discreetly, which Joe appreciated. “He’s alone here, as well; most other humans are in training or active Legion members. Those that didn’t join the Elves, that is.”
“Did you not prepare him for this meeting?” The Princess inspected Joe critically, noting that his eyebrow was starting to twitch. “He looks like a vagabond.”
“For your information-”
Joe was cut off by Havoc smoothly. “Ah, he just returned from a meeting with Grandmaster McPoundy, and we had no time to find a tailor. Besides that, he has a misguided sense of honor, not wanting to requisition clothing as a Candidate.”
“Did he not just come into a significant amount of reputation? He should have had plenty available for a rush order…” The Princess sighed and waved away that line of thought. “Human, do you need another human party member to feel more at ease here? I am looking to join your… faction… and bring my followers under its banner. What would ease that transition?”
“He has never requested human companionship, my Lady,” Havoc joined in once more. “He is entirely focused on his craft, advancing himself, and progressing the Dwarven Oligarchy. A true believer of meritocracy.”
“So it’s just a coincidence that, until now, he’s been poor and miserably lonely?” The Princess scoffed at her own comment. “I’ve heard what it is like to be under your thumb, Havoc. I want to hear it from him.”
“Um.” Joe wasn’t sure how to reply to this fast-paced conversation.
“I will have you know,” Havoc snarled, causing the guards in the room to tense up, “he’s not alone here because of me. Look: no hair, beard, or mustache. Completely hairless. He’s alone because he’s hideous.”
“Please stop trying to stand up for me.” Joe coughed violently to draw their attention back to himself. “Lady… Embertank, as far as I can tell, you are only here to join under my deity? I will certainly make this happen, but… why? Haven’t your people been fighting to remove the influence of the deities from this Zone?”
She narrowed her eyes at Havoc, as if something had just been confirmed. “Only a certain splinter group has focused on that. The vast majority of us enjoyed the additional benefits and powers that those that had gone before could afford us. I’ll tell you now, as a show of my commitment to this cause, I have already begun the construction of a Grand Temple in this city. In addition, I will ensure that at least ten more are completed in the nearest surrounding major forts. From there, depending on the followers and abilities granted, we will expand further.”
Joe gulped at the thought of the amount of Divine Energy that would produce for Tatum on a daily basis. “You have ways to make them?”
“My people are known as the greatest stoneworkers, and some of the best are even Grandmaster Sculptors.” Her glare only darkened at Havoc, who responded by lighting up a cigar. A tiny fan popped up out of it and blew the smoke into her face. Scowling, she ignored the pungent fog and continued speaking to Joe. “The first Grand Temple will be done within the day, though the others will take at least a week each, estimated to finish in under two months. The delay is due to travel time for building materials; I hope you understand.”
“That… will certainly not be a problem. If you don’t mind me asking,” Joe
struggled over how to phrase his next question. “If you can make all these shrines and temples, Grand ones even, why haven’t you until now?”
The Princess nodded, as if expecting this line of inquiry. “It’s fairly simple. There was no way to class change into a cleric or any other derivative of a holy class. Without the places of power being dedicated to someone, there was no way to make new classes or dedicate these places. That meant that there was no reason for the structures to exist; they would have just become strategic resources for the Elves if a fortress was overtaken.”
“I see.” Joe glanced around, realizing that everyone was watching him expectantly. “What is it that I can do for you… currently?”
With barely a moment’s hesitation, Dawnesha kneeled down and bowed her head. “I humbly request to be made into the High Priestess of your deity for this Zone.”
“So… very humble of you, indeed.” Joe blinked a few times and released a great sigh. “Why?”
“I am the third Princess.” Dawnesha remained in the same position, making Joe somewhat uncomfortable. “I cannot become the ruler, as that role is reserved for the first Princess. The second Princess has been charged with our military might. The position of third Princess has long been designated as a holy position, and I have been stymied my entire life. It has put an incredible pressure on our society, and my sisters are concerned that I will attempt to infringe on their… influence.”
“That’s why you would put so much into this effort. You’re attempting to avoid a civil war… but I thought this was an Oligarchy? Beyond that, do you even know which deity I am the Champion of?” Joe already knew that he was going to try to make her the High Priestess. Having control and direct access to the entire theological aspect of a society was too good of a chance to pass up, and she was going to bring in just… so much.
“Occultatum,” she answered easily, unstrained even though she had remained in the position for over a minute at this point. “I read the message, just like everyone else. As to the Oligarchy, I am a clan princess. Though our ways have changed over the millenia, the great houses have not given up all of their traditions.”