Clay's Ark

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by Octavia E. Butler


  “And you’re saying that will be my fault,” Blake said angrily. She was boxing him in. Everything she said was intended to close another exit.

  “We’ll do anything to avoid being locked up,” she said. “I’ll do anything to keep my sons from being taken from me.”

  “Nobody would take your—”

  “Shut your mouth! They’d take them. They’d treat them like things. If they killed them—accidentally or deliberately, it would just be one of their problems solved.”

  “Meda, listen—”

  “So if you’re afraid of an epidemic, Doctor, don’t even think about leaving us. Even if you spread the word, you can’t possibly stop us.” She switched tracks abruptly. “I’m starving. Do you want anything to eat?”

  He was disoriented for a moment. “Food?”

  “We eat a lot. You’ll see.”

  “What if you didn’t?” he asked, immediately alert. “I mean, I couldn’t have put away the meal I saw you eat only a few hours ago. What if you just ate normally?”

  “We do eat normally—for us.”

  “You know what I mean.”

  “Yeah, I know. You’re still seeking weakness. Well, you’ve found one. We eat a lot. Now what are you going to do? Destroy our food supply?” She produced a key from somewhere, seemingly by magic. Her hands actually were quicker than his eyes. “Don’t even think about doing anything to the food,” she said. “Someday I’ll tell you how people like you smell to my kids.” She let herself out and slammed the door behind her.

  She returned sometime later, bringing him a ham sandwich and a fruit salad.

  “I’d like to see my daughters,” he told her.

  “I’ll see,” she said. “Maybe I can bring you one of them for a few minutes.”

  Her cooperativeness pleased but did not surprise him. She had children of her own and she could see that his concern was genuine; there was no reason for her to find that concern suspect.

  He was lying down, tired and frightened, hanging on to the bare bones of an escape plan when Eli brought Keira in.

  Keira seemed calm. Eli left her without saying a word. He locked her in and probably stood outside listening.

  “Are you all right?” Blake asked.

  She answered the question he intended rather than the one he had asked. “He hasn’t touched me,” she said. She did not sit down, but stood in the middle of the room and looked at Blake. He looked back, realizing that for her sake, he could not touch her either. Such a simple, terrible thing. He could not touch her.

  “He said Meda scratched you,” she whispered.

  Blake nodded.

  “He told me about the disease and … where he got it. I didn’t know what to think. Do you believe him?”

  “‘Her’ in my case.” Blake stared through the bars of the window into the desert night. “I believe. Maybe I shouldn’t, but I do.”

  “Rane always says I’ll believe anything. At first, I was afraid to believe this. I do now, though.”

  “Have you seen Rane?”

  “No. Daddy?”

  He looked away from the bright full moon, met her eyes and saw that in a moment she would come to him, disease or no disease.

  “No!” he said sharply.

  “Why?” she demanded. “What difference does it make? Someone’s going to touch me sooner or later, anyway. And even if they don’t, I’ve probably already got the disease—from the salad or the bread or the furniture or the dishes … What’s the difference?” she wiped away tears angrily. She tended to cry when she got upset, whether she wanted to or not.

  “Why hasn’t he touched you?”

  She looked at Blake, looked away. “He likes me. He’s afraid he’ll kill me.”

  “I wonder how long that will stop him?”

  “Not long. He obviously feels terrible. Sooner or later, he’s going to just grab me.”

  Blake opened his bag again, turned it on, and keyed in a prescription form, “ARE YOU LOCKED UP?” he typed, “ARE YOUR WINDOWS BARRED?”

  She shook her head, mouthed, “No bars.”

  “THEN YOU CAN ESCAPE!”

  “Alone?” she mouthed. She shook her head.

  “YOU MUST!” he typed, “AT TWO A.M., I’LL TRY. I WANT YOU WITH ME!” Aloud, he said, “I can’t help you, Kerry.”

  “I know,” she whispered. “Most of the time, I’m not even worried about myself. I’m worried about you and Rane. I don’t even know where Rane is.”

  He began typing soundlessly again, “THEN BREAK FREE ALONE! THEY THINK YOU’RE HELPLESS. THEY’LL BE CARELESS WITH YOU.”

  She shook her head as she read the words. “I can’t,” she mouthed. “I can’t!”

  “Are you having any pain?” he asked aloud. “Did you take your medicine?”

  “No pain,” she said softly. “I had some, but I told Eli and he got my medicine from the car. He wore what he called his town gloves.”

  She glanced at the door. “He said if he wasn’t careful, he could transmit the disease just by paying for supplies. They all have to wear special gloves when they’re in town.”

  “Yet they deliberately spread the disease to people like us,” Blake said. He wiped everything he had typed and began again on a clean form, “YOU MUST ESCAPE! THERE’S AN EPIDEMIC BREWING HERE! WE MUST GIVE WARNING, GET TREATMENT!”

  She was shaking her head again. God, why hadn’t Meda sent Rane to him? Rane would be afraid, too, but that would not stop her. “EVEN IF I FAIL,” he typed, “YOU MUST TAKE THE CAR AND GO—OR WE COULD ALL DIE. DO YOU REMEMBER HOW TO START THE CAR WITHOUT THE KEY?”

  She nodded.

  “THEN GO! SEND BACK HELP. GIVE WARNING!”

  Tears ran down her face, but she did not seem to notice them. He spoke aloud with painfully calculated brutality. “Meda told me people with serious injuries die of the disease. She’s seen them die. She didn’t say anything about people with serious illnesses, but Kerry, she didn’t have to.” He gave her a long look, trying to read her, reach her. She knew he was right. She wanted to please him. But she had to overcome her own fear.

  He typed, “SOONER OR LATER, ELI WILLTOUCH YOU—AT LEAST.”

  She read the words without responding.

  “BE NEAR THE WAGONEER TONIGHT,” he typed, “AT TWO.”

  She swallowed, nodded once.

  At that moment, there was a sound at the door. Instantly, Blake shut off the computer, automatically wiping the prescription form and everything he had typed. He closed the bag and turned to face the door just as Eli opened it.

  Blake looked at Keira, aching to hug her. He felt he was about to lose her in one way or another, but he could not touch her.

  Past 9

  WITHIN TWENTY-FOUR HOURS, ELI had infected everyone on the mountaintop ranch. He had also talked the old man, Gabriel Boyd, into giving him a job as a handyman. Boyd was not willing to pay much more than room and board, but room and board was all Eli really wanted—a chance to stay and perhaps save some of these people.

  He was given a cot in a back room that had been used for storage. He was given his meals with the family, and he worked alongside the men of the family. He knew nothing about ranching or building houses, but he was strong and willing and quick. Also, he knew his Bible. This in particular impressed both the old man and his wife. Few people read the Bible now, except as literature. Religion was about as far out of fashion as it had ever been in the United States—a reaction against the intense religious feeling at the turn of the century. But Eli had been a boy preacher during that strange, not entirely sane time. He had been precocious and sincere, had read the Bible from Genesis to Revelation, and could still talk about it knowledgeably. Also, Eli knew how to be easygoing and personable, a refugee from the city, grateful to be away from the city. He knew how to win people over even as he condemned them to illness and possible death.

  He wanted them all to start showing symptoms at about the same time, and he wanted that time to be soon. Left to themselves, infected pe
ople feeling their symptoms tended to huddle together in an us-against-the-world attitude. If everyone became ill at the same time, he would have less trouble keeping individuals from trying to go for help. He had started what could become an epidemic. Now, if he were going to be able to live with himself at all, he had to contain it.

  He worked hard on the house that was intended for the son named Christian—Chris to everyone but his father. Christian’s wife Gwyn was going to have a baby and Christian had decided that the house would be finished before the baby arrived. Eli did not know or care whether this was possible, but he liked Christian and Gwyn. He worried about what the disease might do to a pregnant woman and her child. Whatever happened would be his fault.

  Sometimes guilt and fear rode him very nearly into insanity, and only the exhausting hard work of building kept him connected to the world outside himself. He liked these people. They were decent, kind, and in spite of the angry God they worshipped, they were remarkably peaceful and uncorrupted by the cynicism and violence outside. They were good people. Yet it was inevitable that some of them would die.

  The daughter Meda was doing her best to add to his burdens by seducing him. She had no subtlety, did not attempt any.

  “I’d like to sleep with you,” she told him when she got her courage up. He had known since he met her that she wanted to sleep with someone, and would settle for him. He fended her off gently.

  “Girl, what are you trying to do? Get yourself in trouble and get me shot? Your people have been good to me.”

  “They wouldn’t,” she said, “if I told them who you are. They think heaven is only for God and his chosen.”

  He became serious. “Don’t play games with me, Meda. I like your honesty and I like you, but don’t threaten me.”

  She grinned. “You know I wouldn’t tell.”

  “I know.”

  “And if I can keep one secret, I can keep two.” She touched his face. “I’m not going to let you alone.”

  Her touch produced a interesting tingle. She was coming into her time. He had apparently arrived just after her time of fertility the month before. That had been a blessing. He had been able to avoid the other two young women, but Meda would not let him avoid her. Now, she had no idea the trouble she was courting. She probably imagined a romantic interlude. She did not imagine being thrown on the rocky ground and hurt—inevitably hurt.

  “No,” he said, pushing her away. She was still smiling when he turned from her and began hammering in siding nails. She watched for a while, and he discovered he enjoyed the attention. He had not believed women outside the crew would want to look at him with his body so changed. Meda was trouble, but he was sorry when she decided to leave. She looked as though she had lost a little weight, he noticed.

  As she walked away, her brother Christian came out of the main house and stopped her. They were too far from Eli to worry about his hearing them, but he heard every word.

  “That guy been talking to you, Mead?” Christian demanded. Eli could not recall having heard Christian refer to him as “that guy” before. For Christian this was damned unfriendly.

  “Sure he has,” Meda said. “I came out here to talk to him. Why shouldn’t he talk to me?” Blast her honesty!

  “What’d you say to him?”

  “What did you do this morning Chris? Look in the mirror and mistake yourself for Dad?”

  “What did he say to you?”

  Eli looked at them and saw even over the distance that she smiled sadly. “Relax,” she told her brother. “He said no. He said the family had been good to him and he didn’t want trouble.”

  Christian gave an oddly brittle laugh. “Anybody who recognizes you as trouble has the right idea,” he said. “If that guy were white, I’d tell you to marry him.”

  Meda watched her brother with visibly growing confusion. Living in the house, Eli had heard enough to know Christian was her favorite brother. They had shared secrets since childhood. Christian knew how tired she was of being an isolated virgin, and she knew how nervous he was about becoming a father. Right now, she knew there was something wrong with him.

  “Did you break down and buy some perfume?” he asked. “You smell good.”

  Eli put down his hammer and stood up. It was beginning. Meda had bathed and she smelled of soap, but she was not wearing perfume. She was simply coming into her time. If she and her brothers lived, they would have to learn to avoid each other at these times. Now, however, Eli might have to help them. He stood still, waiting to see whether Christian could control himself. He realized Meda might not be as much in control as she should be either. He would not let them commit incest. They would be losing enough of their humanity shortly.

  Eli jumped down from the floor of the house and started toward them. At that moment, Christian reached up and touched Meda’s face with one trembling hand. Then, with a strange, whining cry, he folded slowly to the ground, out cold.

  Present 10

  WHEN ELI AND KEIRA were gone, Blake opened his bag and turned it on again. He punched in his identity code, then the words “TIMED SLEEP” and the number three. He hit the deliver button. Moments later, he had a capsule that would put him to sleep for three hours and let him awake fully alert. Next he ordered a much less precise dosage for Meda. This he ordered in injectable form—a sleep tab.

  He placed Meda’s dosage under the pillow he intended to use, then turned off the bag and closed it. He stripped to his shorts, and got into bed. Remembering Keira, he doubted that he could have slept at all without the capsule. And he had to sleep. If he did not, Meda would look at him and realize he was up to something. She might even figure out what it was. He did not underestimate her any longer.

  He thought he heard her come in before he dozed off, thought she called his name. He may have muttered something before the drug took full effect.

  He awakened on time, clearheaded, aware of what he must do. The room was full of moonlight and Meda lay snoring softly beside him. It amused him that she snored. It seemed utterly right that she should.

  He was surprised to find himself feeling sorry for her as he eased the sleep tab from beneath his pillow and pressed it to her thin, bare right arm. She repelled him, but she was not responsible for what she had become.

  There was no pain involved, but at his touch, she jumped, came awake, found him leaning over her.

  “What did you do?” she demanded, fully alert.

  He touched her hair, thinking he would have to hit her again, not wanting to hit her, not wanting to hurt her at all. Perhaps that was what she saw in his expression—if she could see him well enough to read his expression. She smiled uncertainly, turned her face to meet his caressing hand.

  Then the smile vanished. “Oh God,” she said. “What have you done?” She reached for him, but her hands had no strength. She tried to get up and almost slid out of bed. Finally the drug stopped her. She moaned and slipped into unconsciousness.

  Blake stared at her, feeling irrationally guilty. He straightened her body, placed her in a more comfortable-looking position, and covered her. She would awaken in three or four hours.

  He dressed, looked around the room, noticed at once that his bag was gone. He looked through the closet and in the bathroom, searched the bedroom, but the bag was not to be found. Finally, desperately, he forgot the bag and began searching for the key that would let him out of the room. Since he already knew where it was not, he began by searching the one place he had ignored: the bed and Meda herself. He found it on a chain around her neck. It hung down inside her gown where he could not have touched it normally without awakening her.

  Seconds later, he let himself out of the room. Feeling his way carefully, silently, he reached the front door. He wondered just before he let himself out whether these people posted a watch. If they did, he was probably finished. He hoped they had enough confidence in their ability to handle their prisoners not to bother with guards.

  He slipped out and closed the door behind him. Fr
om where he stood on the porch, he could see no one. Things looked confusingly different in the moonlight. For several seconds, he could not find the car. It had been moved. He feared it had been hidden and he would have to risk stealing another. Then he saw it in the distance near one of the outhouses. Getting it started without his key would be no problem if he had time to disconnect the trap-alarm system. The alarm itself was sound and indelible dye sprayed over any would-be thief. If the thief persisted, he was sprayed with a nausea gas. The gas was utterly disabling whether it was breathed or merely came in contact with the skin. A car—even a fuel-gulper like this one—was a prestige item. The automobile age had peaked and passed. People who drove cars or rode motorcycles now were either professional drivers, the rich, law-enforcement people, or parasites. The pros, the rich, and the police usually went to even greater, deadlier lengths than Blake had to protect their vehicles.

  Hugging the shadows, Blake worked his way toward his car. He had reached it and used his own special catch to get past the hood lock when someone spoke to him.

  “You don’t have to do that. I have the keys.”

  He turned sharply, found himself facing Keira. Solemnly, she handed him the keys. He stared at them.

  “I took them,” she said. She shrugged. “Now you won’t have to worry about touching me.”

  “You exposed yourself just to get the keys?” he demanded.

  “No.” She was in shadow. He could not see her well enough to be certain of her expression, but she sounded odd. He took the keys and her hand, held both for a moment, then hugged her tightly, probably painfully, though she did not complain. Then he held her by her shoulders and spoke what he strongly suspected was nonsense. “Meda says the disease is transmitted by inoculation, not contact. Don’t touch your mouth or scratch your skin until you wash.”

  She did not seem to hear. “I hit him, Dad.”

  “Good. Get in the car.”

 

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