by P. Jameson
Little Omega’s single-eyed gaze widened. “Another one? You are such a thoughtful friend, alpha.” My stomach sank as her expression turned sad. “I wish I had something to give you. Besides, you know… buttons.”
I fingered the one she had given me a couple years ago. It was small and brown and had a smiley face drawn on the front. I kept it in my pocket so no one ever saw it, but when I found myself thinking of her throughout the day, I would touch it. It helped remind me that even though a war waged around us, there was one place it could never touch.
Our little gap in the wall.
“I like talking to you,” I admitted roughly, shrugging away my discomfort. “It’s all I need really.”
This brought her smile back and for the first time, I realized just how pretty it was, what little I could see of it.
“Stay here,” I said as I stood from the grass and ran across the yard to where I’d hidden my best gift yet. Looking around, I made sure no one could see what I was pulling from behind a large stone pillar. I cupped it in my hand and darted back to the fence.
“What is it?” Little Omega whispered through the gap.
I opened my hands to reveal a perfect rose blossom. It was dark yellow and tinged pink at the tips. It was like the sunshine had kissed the earth and made… this. Living in the castle, I saw the flowers all the time, but today when I walked by, I thought of Little Omega and knew she’d love it.
“It’s so pretty,” she whispered in awe. “Where did you find it?”
“Right here in the castle gardens. I picked it when no one was looking so I could show you.”
“Can I touch it?”
I nodded, and she poked her dusty finger through the opening to brush the tip along one of the petals.
“It’s so soft. I didn’t expect it to be so… so soft.”
“Do you like it?” I didn’t need to ask. I could see it in her eye, hear it in her tone.
“I love it.”
“Good. You can keep it.”
Quickly she shook her head, pulling her hand back. “No, no. I can’t.”
I frowned. “I got it for you to keep.”
“It’s too pretty. I’ll mess it up. You keep it safe for me.”
I stared at her as a small dull pain throbbed at the base of my throat. “You don’t want it?”
She blinked. “I don’t want to ruin it. If you keep it, it will stay pretty. If I take it, it will get dirty like me. Or broken. Or worse. What if I kill it? I don’t think these can live in the desert.”
It wasn’t supposed to go like this. The flower was supposed to make her happy. Give her something bright and happy to focus on when things got dreary.
“It will die anyway. Flowers die when you pick them.”
Her face paled. “Then why did you do it?”
“Because I wanted to give it to you.”
“But now… now it will… you shouldn’t have done this.” Tears formed in her eye and the ache in my throat grew until I felt like I couldn’t swallow. My cheeks were on fire. Did she not understand the way plantlife worked? They didn’t live forever. Nothing did, but plants were possibly the most fragile of all.
“Just forget it,” I muttered through my embarrassment. “It’s just a dumb flower. It doesn’t matter.”
“It does too matter!” she cried, her tears finally spilling over her eyelid to streak down her cheeks. “Everything matters. Every living thing. Maybe if you weren’t alpha, you’d understand that.”
Her words were a slap in the face. My Little Omega had never spoken a mean syllable, and she’d never looked at me with such an accusatory glare.
“Maybe if you weren’t omega, you’d understand that all flowers die when their season is over, whether you pick them or not. And also that girls are supposed to like getting flowers.”
Her mouth opened and then slammed shut. She lowered her head and brushed the tears from her cheeks.
I looked away, swallowing back the unexplainable emotions that crashed in my chest. “You should go.” It was almost dark. I didn’t want her crossing back to the Badlands without a little light to lead her.
She nodded, her voice quiet when she asked, “Can I come back tomorrow?”
I found her gaze through the crevice, pulled in a hard breath. No matter what, she was still my friend. “I told you. Friends, always.”
I blinked, letting the memories of our first fight fall away.
“That’s a thing I don’t hear often,” Rielle murmured.
“What is?”
“I don’t have people flinging surprises at me much. Unless you count Zelene getting into trouble as a surprise. Which… doesn’t even happen anymore, I guess, since she’s queen.”
“Oh, she gets in plenty of trouble, I’m sure. Adalai just punishes her in private instead.”
Rielle’s eyebrows shot into her forehead. “You mean… are you making a joke about the king’s sex life?” Her expression turned to a scowl. “Or were you serious?”
My mouth lifted into a grin. “I was joking, Rielle.”
She frowned. “Oh. Well… don’t do that. It’s weird.”
“Weird?” I chuckled as I started disconnecting the machine she was attached to. “How is it weird?”
Rielle shrugged. “You don’t seem like the joking type.”
“I used to joke all the time.”
“Oh really?”
I nodded, removing the wire leads from their attachments so she could stand. “Maybe I’ll tell you a joke or two sometime. You ready to go?”
Excitement flared in her eyes. “Go? Where are we going?”
“To my kitchen,” I murmured casually. As if what I was about to say hadn’t kept me up all night. “It’s time for you to try solid foods again. So I’m making you dinner.”
Chapter Eight
Rielle
I was out of breath by the time we reached the courtyard, but I wouldn’t ask for the wheelchair. Wherever Evander planned to bring me, I’d get there on my own.
“Here,” he said as he opened the door, offering his arm. “Lean on me if it gets hard.”
I hesitated before accepting his offer. I was far enough along in my recovery that I craved my freedom more than I wanted juice. Worn down from the short walk, I could use a little shot of juice now. It was a boost, just like Evander wanted to give me. It didn’t make me weak to accept help.
I had to say no to the juice to get better. I didn’t have to say no to Evander.
I took his offer. His arm was solid muscle, and so big compared to my weakened one. The smile he gave me melted my tired knees.
“It’s so pretty out here,” I said, giving myself a moment to catch my breath and get used to being this close to him. The heat of his body and his earthy scent surrounded me like armor, and I felt safe.
He’s an alpha, I reminded myself. They always let you down.
“The patients enjoy it.” He steeled himself. “Do you want to stay out here for a little while?”
He didn’t ask me if I was too weak to continue, even though that was the real question.
“Of course the patients enjoy it. There’s sunlight and they’re not breathing other sick people’s air.” I broke away from him and lowered myself carefully to the stone wall that encased a raised rose bed. The sun had gone down hours ago, but the sky glowed a brilliant, star-filled blue that accentuated the colors of the garden, and crickets chirped a lullaby. “Do you like it out here?”
“On nights like this, I like to sit out here and go over my charts from the day.” He sat beside me. “Wish I could say I had the time to maintain it. Someone on staff does that. But I choose the flowers for each season.”
I could picture him sitting out here in the comfy chair I’d spotted in the corner of the terrace, poring over the numbers just like the ones he’d shown me. But I couldn’t imagine a fierce alpha warrior caring about something like flowers.
“You pay someone just to take care of the flowers?” Although I knew it was
probably an omega charged with the task, if one could be so lucky.
“They do other things at the facility too. It’s important to be surrounded by things that make you feel good.”
I concentrated on the flowers, reaching out and touching a yellow rose whose petals were tipped with magenta. Like the sand from the desert and the fire of the battles that had been waged on this land could come together and finally find peace.
The petal was velvety soft, and I took Evander’s advice, closing my eyes and savoring its texture between my fingers. A memory came back to me, of being a little girl, and the boy on the other side of the wall offering me a flower that looked just like this.
I didn’t take it because I was afraid to ruin it. Because I was so afraid that under my care, it would die, like everything else I cherished.
Evander was watching me when I opened my eyes. For a moment, I pictured him as that boy on the other side of the wall. My prince.
No. I couldn’t project that on him because I satisfied his medical curiosity.
He drew back when I plucked the rose.
“Didn’t expect you to do that,” he said.
“Need to bring a little of the outside into my room.” I brought the flower closer to me and stroked the petals. “Don’t know how long it will survive, since there aren’t any windows in there.”
“A flower or plant will turn toward any available light source to survive. You know a thing or two about that.” He stood, and held his hand out to me. “Your stomach is rumbling. Let’s eat.”
I didn’t argue, or tell him how much time my tummy had spent empty.
He brought me into the building on the other side of the courtyard. Between the fountain and all the flowers, I’d never had much reason to pay attention to it before.
Evander’s quarters certainly didn’t suffer from a lack of windows. The entire wall facing the courtyard was made of them. They comprised the opposite wall too. Stars dappled the valley, and streetlights glowed below. His territory looked nothing like the Badlands.
I headed straight for the cozy looking couch.
Evander helped me settle. My muscles were sore from even that little bit of movement and I couldn’t hide my bliss. Until Adalai took Zelene as his mate, we lived in a shack with beds on the floor and broken furniture. I’d barely had time to get used to my room in the castle, but the couch had been hard and fussy.
“You have a fireplace,” I said, taking in the rest of the room. There was a patterned rug covering the middle of the hardwood floor, more plants, books, and what looked like military artifacts hung on the walls.
“I can turn it on if you’d like.” Evander brought over a piece of furniture that seemed like it had been made just to prop my feet up on it. A stool with a cushion. I’d seen them around the castle, but never in use.
“That would be amazing.”
He crouched in front of the fireplace, and I couldn’t look away from him. Strong, muscular shoulders, tapered waist, and damn, that ass. This man was a soldier, and not an inch of him had gone to waste.
Once the fire was crackling, he headed into the kitchen. It was open to the living room, a huge difference from the castle. No royal ever saw the inside of the kitchen, but Evander seemed quite comfortable in his own. I scooted over on the cushion so I could watch him in action. A piece of me felt like I should join him, and get to work. But I could barely stand. And it was really nice to have someone take care of me.
“I finally get to subject someone to my cooking.” He turned away from a giant refrigerator with his hands full of fruits and vegetables.
“Is this like… another experiment?”
“No.” He laughed as he grabbed a knife and started chopping. “The generals tend to eat at the palace--”
“Don’t I know it.”
“The food there is very good. You’ve cooked food fit for a king, Rielle. I know the working conditions need improvement. But everyone always raved about the food that came out of that kitchen.”
“Thank you.” It wasn’t often I got compliments, especially with anything connected with my work at the castle.
“Normally I’d offer you wine, but we need to get a few solid meals in you first.”
“Is having a personal chef part of my rehabilitation process?”
He looked up from the cutting board. “We’ll see if you think my cooking is better than yours.”
“I’m willing to give you a few pointers,” I teased. It felt dangerous. Not because he was alpha and I was omega, but because I knew good things didn’t last. I had a habit of destroying them, so I didn’t have to go through the mourning process when they were taken away from me.
A few moments later, he brought me a glass with sparkling water and lemon and cucumber slices on the rim, and a plain glass of water.
“For the rose. So it will last when you bring it back to your room.”
“When will I be able to leave your observation tank?”
“You might not feel like lying in bed in a windowless room is important, but you’re giving us invaluable information that we couldn’t get before. Every bit of it will go to help omegas rescued from the keep.”
“I don’t like sitting around. I want to fight.”
“Not everything has to be a fight,” he sighed. This time he didn’t look up. “Life doesn’t have to be so hard.”
“Easy for you to say.”
He put down the knife. “If you make a full recovery, and this is a big if. There’s no guarantee that your life will be anything like it was before. So when I say full recovery, it’s relative. But… if you are able to, I’d like to make you an advisor in omega rehabilitation. That’s fighting too. Helping others help themselves.”
I almost spit out my bubbly water. “Not exactly the lecture I expected to get from an alpha.”
Evander pushed away from the kitchen counter. He sat next to me on the couch, and he looked so different here, uncomfortable in the place he should’ve called home. “I’ve done things for the king that I didn’t want to do. I’ve chosen duty over what I wanted in my own heart. Every single time, it has haunted me.”
“Are you saying you don’t want to fight for the king anymore?”
“I’ll always fulfill my duty to His Majesty. But I’ll do it on my own terms now.” He leaned in closer, and the heat from his body made dew blossom on my skin.
Or was that...my heat?
If I’d been hooked up to my heart machine, it would be having a fit right now. And that wasn’t the only thing pulsing. My muscles were speaking to me too, especially the ones between my legs.
Shit. I was going to go into heat soon, and no one had any idea how the juice had changed that. My omegas weren’t here to protect me.
But maybe it was Evander who needed to be protected from me.
Chapter Nine
Evander
Too close. I was too damn close.
To my omega. To showing my hand too early. To making her uncomfortable. Yet, I couldn’t help inhaling her delicate scent. I’d waited a long time to indulge in this. When she was under the coma, I’d resisted invading her space more than necessary. And with the juice in her system, she’d nearly lost all the distinction that marked her as omega by smell. It was the first clue that told me the juice had a way of suppressing our animal’s instincts.
Now, she was detoxed. All that was left of the juice was the mark of addiction it had left in her mind. And now that I knew who she was, my inner beast rode me hard to take her scent into my lungs. Log it in my memory so that I would always know how to find her.
“My necklace,” Rielle blurted, pulling me back to my senses before I did something irrevocable.
“What?”
She blinked, swallowing hard. “What did you do with my necklace?” She no longer sounded angry at me for taking it. Just curious.
“It’s safe.” I stood to grab a blanket from the back of a chair and spread it over her legs before heading back into the kitchen. “How did y
ou get a military uniform button anyway?”
“It’s a long… and personal story. Can I have it back?”
“It seems important.” I watched her from the corner of my gaze as I continued preparing the meal.
It was a long time before she answered, her voice quiet. “It means a lot to me.”
My heart constricted at her admission. I gripped the knife tight enough to turn my knuckles white so I wouldn’t cross back over to the couch and tell her everything. Spill every fucking detail. Why I’d done what I did. How it hurt me in a way that might not be fixable. How regret coursed through my veins diluting my blood just like the poison that had taken hold of her.
She’s not ready, my inner wolf cautioned.
“I recognize the button,” I said, and Rielle’s gaze jerked to me. “From when I was a kid.”
“That makes sense. It belonged to an alpha.”
“Yet, you wore it on your neck.”
She pressed her lips together, clearly considering her next words. “I found it. Outside of the city, when I was young.” None of that was a lie. “I kept it as a reminder.”
“Of what?” I pushed.
Her expression turned hard again. “Of what I can never have.” Since leaving her room, she’d been like a whole new person. No hint of withdrawal symptoms. No hatred tinged words. More like the little girl I knew back then. Curious and open and ready to absorb whatever life showed her. The good, the bad, and the ugly.
I lit a flame under a pan and set the water to boil. “The way I see it, Rielle…” I watched her carefully. “… we all want something that we can’t have. Another similarity for us to ponder.”
“Mm. Maybe.”
“The king wants the kingdom safe, but as long as humans are willing to kill for our technology, it won’t ever really be. Betas want security, yet they incite war within our city. Omegas want equality and vengeance but they can’t have one if they seek the other.”
Her eyes seemed to dance as she considered the truth of my statement. “And you? What do you want that you can never have?”
You, came the immediate answer. Like it was spoken from my heart directly to my brain.