Witch Is How To Fool Cats

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Witch Is How To Fool Cats Page 4

by Adele Abbott


  “I—err—”

  “I rest my case.” I took another look in the mirror. “This will have to do.”

  “You look spectacular. I’ve always liked you in that dress.”

  “I bought it three weeks ago, and I haven’t worn it yet.”

  “I probably should go and eat this downstairs.”

  Men!

  ***

  I’d arranged to meet Martin at a restaurant in Candlefield. At Lester’s suggestion, I’d booked a table at The Sparkle, which was just around the corner from Everything Rodent. I wasn’t sure how I felt about the proximity of the two establishments.

  We were supposed to meet at seven-thirty, but I arrived there at just after seven. It was chillier than I’d expected—maybe the short sleeves hadn’t been such a great idea—so I went inside.

  “Hi. My name is Jill Maxwell. I’m meeting someone at seven-thirty. Is it okay if I wait here?”

  “Actually, your dining companion is already here.”

  “He is?”

  “He arrived about ten minutes ago. Follow me, please.”

  I tried to figure out which table the maître d’ was headed for, so that I could get a first glimpse of my brother. The problem was most of the tables were occupied, and I wasn’t sure which one was ours.

  But then I saw him.

  If I’d had any doubts about this man’s claim to be my brother, they were all blown away as soon as I saw his face. If I didn’t know he was five years older than me, I might have taken him for my twin. I was utterly gobsmacked, and judging by the expression on his face, so was he.

  “Jill?” He stood up and smiled. It was my smile.

  “Martin, sorry. I—err—this is all kinds of weird.”

  “It is, isn’t it?” He laughed. It was my laugh.

  There was an awkward moment while we both tried to figure out what the appropriate greeting should be for an occasion like this. Should we hug? Shake hands?

  “We should probably sit down,” he said, eventually.

  “Yes. Good idea.”

  While the two of us had been staring at one another, the waiter had arrived tableside.

  “Sir, madam, would you care to order drinks?”

  “Just a cola for me, please.” I could have done with something much stronger, but I wanted to keep my wits about me.

  “And I’ll have a soda and lime,” Martin said.

  “Are you ready to order food yet?”

  “Give us a few minutes, would you?”

  “I didn’t—err—I mean I wasn’t sure—” He stumbled over his words. “You really are my sister, aren’t you?”

  “It looks that way.”

  “I’m sorry. I just meant I knew I had a sister, but seeing you makes it so—err—so real.”

  “Were you as nervous about this meeting as I’ve been since I found out about you?”

  “More, probably. I still am.”

  “Me too.”

  “Maybe we should order food before they throw us out for loitering.” He handed me a menu.

  “Where have you been hiding for the last thirty years?” I said while we waited for the food to arrive.

  “I wasn’t exactly hiding. I was with the man I considered to be my father. At least, my adoptive father.”

  “Braxmore.”

  Martin nodded.

  “Aren’t you a little old to still be living with your parent?”

  “Lucy warned me that you believe in speaking your mind. I didn’t live in the same building as him. I had my own place.”

  “Where exactly? As far as I’m aware, no one in Candlefield knew where Braxmore lived.”

  “It’s difficult to explain.”

  “Try.”

  “You remind me of your grandmother.”

  “Wow! Are you trying to fall out with me already?”

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean that in a bad way. I just meant she gave me a similar interrogation.”

  “This isn’t an interrogation. I’m just curious.”

  “Okay. I suppose the easiest way to describe it is as another version of Candlefield.”

  “I don’t know what that means. How would you get there from here? What direction is it in? How far away is it?”

  “That’s just it. It isn’t in any direction. And it isn’t far away. It’s right here.” He hesitated. “But not here here. If you see what I mean.”

  I had no idea but before I could say so, our food arrived.

  One thing we definitely had in common was our appetite, so for a while we focussed on the food. Only when we were on the coffees, did I press him for more information.

  “You’re saying that there’s another version of Candlefield?”

  “I suppose so, yes, but I didn’t realise that until a few days ago. I thought my version, as you call it, was the only one.”

  I wasn’t sure I bought his weird-ass explanation, but I decided to play along with it for now.

  “How did you get from your version of Candlefield to here?”

  “I used magic.”

  “If you’re able to do that, how come you’ve never done it before?”

  “Mainly, as I said, because I didn’t know there was ‘another’ Candlefield.”

  “How did you find out there was?”

  “My father rarely left home, and when he did, it was only for a day or two at a time. When he’d been missing for over a week, naturally I became concerned.”

  “Naturally.”

  “I didn’t know what to do, so I searched through his house to see if I could find some clue as to where he’d gone.”

  “And did you?”

  “No.” He hesitated. “But I did find his journals. Something I’d never seen before.”

  “And they mentioned another Candlefield?”

  “Yes, but much more than that. They documented my adoption.”

  “You can call it that, but it wasn’t really an adoption, was it? You were snatched from your mother’s arms. From our mother’s arms.”

  “So it would seem. Look, I get that as far as you’re concerned, Braxmore was some kind of evil monster, but to me he was just my father.”

  “Except that he wasn’t your father, was he?”

  “It doesn’t look like it. Anyway, after reading the journals, I realised I had a family, and that they lived in the ‘other’ Candlefield. I figured maybe that’s where he’d gone, so I searched through his spell books until I found the spell that would transport me here.”

  “And that’s when you came?”

  “Not straight away, no. It took over a day to make the spell work properly because it was extremely complicated. When I arrived here, the first thing I saw were the street parties. I thought at first that it was some kind of carnival day, but then I discovered what they were celebrating.”

  “That can’t have been easy for you.”

  “It wasn’t. It was bad enough to find out that he was dead, but then to discover he’d been so universally hated, was just as painful.”

  “But you stayed anyway?”

  “I wanted to find out if what I’d read about my ‘real’ family was true. It didn’t take me long to track down your Aunt Lucy.”

  “Our Aunt Lucy.”

  “Sorry, yes, that’s what I meant. She’s lovely, isn’t she?”

  “Yes, she is.”

  “Your—err—our grandmother is a piece of work, though. I hope you don’t mind me saying that?”

  “She’s certainly a one-off. I wouldn’t advise crossing her.”

  “I don’t intend to, but I fear she may already have made her mind up about me.”

  “What about our mother and father? Have you met them yet?”

  “No. I didn’t realise it was possible to communicate with ghosts until Lucy told me.”

  “And the twins?”

  “Oh yes.” He grinned. “Those two are hilarious, aren’t they?”

  “They certainly have their moments.”

  “But you’re the one I real
ly wanted to meet. Growing up, I always wanted a brother or sister.”

  “You know that Braxmore had a daughter, I assume?”

  “Juliet? Yes, but she died a long time ago.”

  “Do you know much about her?”

  “No. He would never talk about her. Why, do you know anything about her?”

  “A little, but that would be best left for another day.”

  “Okay. Anyway, I couldn’t believe my eyes when I discovered that I had a sister, and that she’s the most powerful witch in Candlefield.”

  “I think Grandma might dispute that. I assume you know my background?”

  “Yes, Lucy told me all about it. It must have been really weird to discover you were a witch so late in life?”

  “No weirder than not knowing you had a family.”

  “I suppose not. And I understand your husband is a human. How does that work?”

  “It works very well, thank you.”

  “John, isn’t it?”

  “Jack, actually.”

  “Sorry. Am I right in thinking that he doesn’t know you’re a sup?”

  “That’s correct. What about the human world? I assume you’ve been there?”

  “Yes, but not until earlier today.”

  “How come?”

  “So far, that’s the biggest difference I’ve discovered between here and—err—”

  “Shall we call it Candlefield two?”

  “If you like. As far as I’m aware, the people where I come from never travel to the human world.”

  “What about Braxmore? He must have.”

  “If he did, I wasn’t aware of it.”

  “So you’re saying the first time you travelled to the human world was today?”

  “That’s right. It’s not at all what I was expecting. It isn’t all that different from the sup world, is it?”

  “Not really. Where did you go?”

  “I wanted to take a look at your office. I was curious to see where you worked.”

  “And what did you think of it?”

  “I couldn’t find it. I looked everywhere for a sign, but I couldn’t see one.”

  “I’ve been having a few problems with that. The replacement is being installed later this week. You’re welcome to come over to the office anytime.”

  “I’d love to meet Jack too if that’s possible.”

  “Err, yeah, that would be nice. You should come over to our house for dinner one day.”

  “I’d like that. When?”

  “I’m not sure. I’ll need to speak to Jack. Can I get back to you?”

  “Sure. Just let me know.”

  When we’d finished our coffee, I still had a million questions I wanted to ask Martin, but it was clear that he was exhausted.

  “Are you going back home now?” I asked.

  “No. Lucy offered to put me up, but I couldn’t allow her to do that, so I’ve booked into a hotel for a few days.”

  “What about longer term? What are your plans?”

  “I don’t have any. My whole world has been turned upside down in these last few days. I figure I should take some time to decide what I want to do next. It’s been lovely to meet you—err—Sis.”

  “Likewise. I’ll be in touch about dinner.”

  “I look forward to it.”

  Chapter 5

  Jack and I were at the kitchen table, eating breakfast. At least, I was supposed to be eating, but all I was actually doing was stirring the corn flakes around the bowl.

  “How can there be two Candlefields?” Jack said.

  “I have no idea.”

  “How do you know this guy is on the level?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “How can you be sure he’s who he says he is?”

  “He’s definitely my brother. I knew that within five seconds of seeing him.”

  “What if he was using magic? You’ve made yourself look like me. And only the other day you told me about Ma Chivers doing something similar.”

  “I would have known, and Grandma definitely would have.”

  “But didn’t Ma Chivers have you both fooled?”

  “Yes, for a while, but even she couldn’t maintain the spell for very long. It isn’t easy.”

  “But it’s possible?”

  “I suppose so.”

  “You need to be careful, Jill. At least until you’re sure who he is and what he wants.”

  “I will. Don’t worry.”

  “Does he know that I know you’re a witch?”

  “Of course not. Why would I tell him when I haven’t even told Grandma or Aunt Lucy? He did say he’d like to meet you.”

  “I want to meet him too.”

  “That’s just as well because I’ve asked him over for dinner. Are you okay with that?”

  “Of course. It’ll be interesting to see if he’s like his sister.”

  “Good looking, charming and intelligent, you mean?”

  “Something like that.”

  Jack had just gone upstairs to get changed when my phone rang.

  “Jill, it’s Pearl. How did it go?”

  “With Martin? Okay, I think.”

  “He’s hot, isn’t he?” Amber shouted.

  “He’s very good looking, but then he does look a lot like me.”

  For some inexplicable reason, they both seemed to find that funny.

  “What did he have to say?” Amber shouted.

  “We talked about all sorts of things.”

  “Did he mention us?”

  “He said he thought you were both hilarious.”

  “Oh?”

  “It was a compliment, I think.”

  “Anyway, the reason we called is to tell you we’re having a launch party on Saturday for the new loyalty card, and we’d like you to be there.”

  “Thanks for the invitation. I’ll see what—”

  “Actually, we were hoping you’d be able to lend us a hand. Mindy is going to a wedding that day.”

  “You two are always saying that I’m hopeless behind the counter.”

  “We never said that, did we, Amber?”

  “Never. Please say you’ll do it, Jill. We’re expecting a big crowd.”

  “How long would you need me for?”

  “Three hours. Four max.”

  “Do I get free coffee and muffins while I’m there?”

  “I suppose so.”

  “Okay. I’m in.”

  “Thanks, Jill, you’re a diamond. And if you see Martin before then, tell him he’s welcome to come too.”

  “Okay. See you then.”

  ***

  When I left the house, I heard a strange whooshing noise. You’d have thought I’d have learned my lesson by now, but once again curiosity got the better of me, so I followed the sound, which seemed to be coming from the Normals’ house. In the back garden, where once there had been a lawn and flowerbeds, there now stood at least twenty small wind turbines, all spinning around.

  “Hi, Jill.” Norm stepped out of the house. “I thought I saw you coming down the drive.”

  “Sorry, Norm, I should have knocked. I was trying to work out what the whooshing noise was, but now I can see.”

  “We’ll be totally self-sufficient, electricity-wise, within the month. What do you think of them?”

  “You have an awful lot of them.”

  “That’s the ingenious part. If we wanted to install one of those large wind turbines, we’d have to apply for planning permission, and there’s no chance it would have been granted. Washbridge Windfarm Enterprises are able to supply these mini ones without any of that rigmarole.”

  “I saw the red van outside your house. So that’s what WWE stands for. For a minute there, I thought—” I laughed.

  “What?”

  “Err—nothing. It doesn’t matter. That lot must have cost you an arm and a leg.”

  “That’s the best part. We didn’t have to pay anything.”

  “I assume they take part of the electricity
generated instead, then?”

  “No. All of the electricity we generate is for our own use.”

  “I don’t understand. Why would they go to all this expense if they don’t make anything out of the deal?”

  “I don’t know. I suppose it’s some kind of green initiative. To be honest, once we realised how much we’d save, we couldn’t sign up quickly enough. You should look into it, Jill. You’ll save yourself a small fortune.”

  “I’ll mention it to Jack and see what he thinks.”

  “Jill!” Britt called to me as I made my way back across the road. She and Kit were just on their way out.

  “Hi, you two. I’m surprised you don’t both walk to work. I know how you love to keep fit.”

  “We did our five-mile morning run earlier.”

  Of course you did. “I’ve just been across the road, looking at the Normals’ wind turbines.”

  “I know those things can save you money.” Britt screwed up her nose. “But I wouldn’t like those ugly monstrosities in our back garden.”

  “Speaking of monstrosities, I noticed Bruiser was hanging around this morning.”

  “He’s become a permanent fixture, I’m afraid. I keep hoping Lovely will get tired of him.”

  “She’s hardly likely to do that now they’re married.”

  Oh bum! What had I just said?

  “Married?” Britt looked at me like I’d just come tumbling out of the crazy tree, and hit my head on every branch on the way down.

  “Did I say married?” I laughed like a lunatic. “I meant to say—err—carried.”

  “I don’t understand, Jill?” That made two of us. “What do you mean?”

  “It’s a little known fact that cats who are carried around a lot tend to form close bonds with other cats who are also—err—carried around.”

  “I didn’t know that, did you, Kit?”

  He shook his head. “Where did you hear that, Jill?”

  “I read it in a Sunday supplement, I think.”

  “We do tend to carry Lovely around a lot of the time.”

  “There you are, then. If I were you, I’d make a conscious effort to carry her less. That might do the trick.”

  “Thanks very much for the tip. We’ll definitely give it a go. Anything to get rid of Bruiser.”

  “Are you looking forward to the contest next week?” Kit asked.

 

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