by Adele Abbott
Somewhat reluctantly, he did as I asked, and I magicked us both to a quiet street close to the Catex Conference Centre.
“Hurry up. I want to get a good seat.” Winky’s impatience was showing.
“Hold on a minute. I can’t go in there looking like this, can I?”
“What are you waiting for, then? Get magicking.”
“Yes, sir.” I gave him a salute, then changed myself into a Siamese cat.
He looked me up and down. “You look pretty hot.”
“Don’t be so creepy. Come on, let’s go.”
It was just as well that we hadn’t left it any later because the conference centre was practically full, and it took a while for us to find two seats together.
Minutes later, the lights in the hall dimmed, and the crowd fell silent. After a few seconds, loud music exploded from the speakers, and a dazzling light show lit the stage. This was beginning to feel more like a pop concert than a conference.
When the music and lights eventually died down, a cat dressed in a gold lamé suit took the stage. He spent ten minutes revving up the already excitable crowd, and then he brought onto stage a number of cats—these were the top-selling FelHealth distributors who talked about how much money they’d made through FelHealth. As they described their lavish and luxurious lifestyles, images of fast cars, exotic holiday locations, and other trappings of wealth were projected onto the huge screen behind them. If all of this had been designed to fire up the crowd even more, then it had succeeded big time. Everyone was desperate to enjoy the same level of success as these top distributors.
The first half of the conference lasted just over an hour and a half, by which time I was sick of hearing about the money these cats had made by ripping off poor, unsuspecting cats like Donny the Dustbin’s mother. As the lights came back up, we were informed that Tony and Tory Wilde, the founders of FelHealth, would be on stage in the second half.
“We have to put a stop to this nonsense,” Winky said.
“I’ve had an idea.” I stood up. “You stay here.”
“Where are you going?”
“Never mind. Stay put and save my seat. I’ll be back shortly.”
I made my way out of the main auditorium, found a quiet spot and cast the ‘invisible’ spell. Then I went in search of Tony and Tori Wilde, who I knew must be backstage somewhere.
After a few minutes, I found the VIP area, which was overflowing with champagne and expensive food. Inside the room were all of the top distributors who’d just spent the first half of the show telling everyone how successful and rich they were. All of them were crowded around two cats, who I took to be Tony and Tori Wilde.
I grabbed my phone and began to video them.
Listening to their conversations made me sick to my stomach. They were all laughing at the gullibility of the punters in the conference centre.
“Those idiots will believe anything you tell them,” Tony Wilde said.
“The more people you can recruit, the more money you’ll make,” Tori Wilde urged them on. “And if they tell you they don’t have any money, tell them to take out a loan.”
And that’s how it continued for the next few minutes. These people didn’t care about their distributors. They didn’t even care about the product they were supposedly selling. They cared about only one thing: money.
It was time for the second half of the conference to begin, so I left the VIP area, reversed the ‘invisible’ spell, and made my way back into the auditorium.
“Where have you been?” Winky said. “I was beginning to think you’d got lost.”
“Look at this.” I took out my phone and played the video.
“That’s absolutely sickening,” he said. “I’ve a good mind to go back there and punch Tony Wilde’s lights out.”
“That won’t do any good. We have to find a way to put a stop to this once and for all. Maybe you should take that video to the feline police.”
“They won’t do anything. The Wilde’s lawyers will tie them in knots. I’ve got a better idea. Give me your phone.”
Before I could object, he grabbed it, and took off out of the auditorium. I had no idea where he’d gone or what he intended to do, but about fifteen minutes into the second half of the conference, he reappeared and handed back my phone.
“Where did you go? What were you doing?”
“You’ll see.” He grinned.
The cat in the gold lamé suit called for silence before welcoming Tony and Tori Wilde onto the stage. The crowd gave them a standing ovation, which lasted for at least five minutes, after which the Wildes went straight into a well-rehearsed, polished presentation. The gist of which was that you too could be fabulously rich. All you had to do was to buy into FelHealth and have faith.
Twenty minutes into it, the screen behind them, which had been displaying images of the lifestyle of the rich, suddenly changed. Gone were the pictures of fast cars and yachts. On screen now was the video that I’d recorded earlier of Tony and Tori Wilde mocking the gullible ‘punters’ in the audience. They both looked panic-stricken, and Tony yelled at someone offstage to ‘kill’ the video.
But it was too late; the damage had already been done.
For a few minutes, the crowd sat in stunned silence, but then the cats in the audience began to shout and scream abuse at the Wildes who were forced to make a quick and undignified exit.
“I think we should leave now,” Winky said. “Our work is done.”
***
Back at the office, I spent some more time preparing my accounts, until eventually, my brain tapped out.
“Mrs V, I’m leaving now because I need time to prepare for tonight’s dinner.”
“Oh yes, it’s today that your brother is coming over, isn’t it? You must be really excited for him to meet Jack.”
“Yeah.” Terrified, more like.
“Before you go, Jill, I’ve compared the list of charities in Valerie Stead’s Will to the others, and there are no duplicates.”
“Right. Did you manage to ask Julie Moore who her husband used to prepare his Will?”
“I tried, but she’s gone away for the weekend and apparently isn’t contactable. I’ll try again on Monday.”
“Okay. Have a lovely weekend, Mrs V.”
“You too, dear. Have you got anything exciting planned?”
“Not really.” Unless you count taking part in a broom flying troupe.
Chapter 22
Before I could even begin to think about tonight’s dinner, I had an appointment at the dog groomers—something I wasn’t looking forward to one little bit.
“Barry’s not very happy,” Aunt Lucy said. “When I told him where he was going, he hid under the bed.”
“Oh dear. I should have asked you not to warn him in advance. I’d better go and see if I can drag him out from under there.”
In the spare bedroom, Rhymes and Poesy were so busy chatting to one another that they didn’t notice me enter the room.
“Hey, you two, is Barry still under the bed?”
“Yeah.” Rhymes sighed. “We had to come out here because there wasn’t enough room for the three of us under there.”
I got down on all fours and peered under the bed. “Why are you under here, Barry?”
“I don’t want to go to the gloomers. Please don’t make me go to the gloomers.”
“Don’t be silly. There’s nothing to be scared of. You’ve been before. They’re just going to give you a wash.”
“I don’t want to go. Please don’t make me go.”
“If you go, I’ll give you some Barkies when you get back.”
“Don’t want Barkies. Don’t want to go. Don’t like the gloomers. I want to stay here. Bye, Jill.”
“If you don’t go, you’ll smell and then Babs won’t love you anymore.”
He thought about that for a moment and then slowly crawled out. “O—kay, I’ll go.”
He moaned and groaned all the way to the gloomers—I mean, groomers
.
“Promise that you won’t leave me alone in there, Jill. I’m really scared.”
“I promise. I’ll stay with you all the time.”
Although I knew the salon was under new ownership, I hadn’t realised that they’d had a complete revamp. The interior of the building had been completely renovated and looked much more modern than the last time I’d been there.
A female vampire welcomed us with a fangy smile. “Is this Barry?” She gave him a stroke.
“It is. He’s a little bit scared.”
“There’s nothing to be afraid of, Barry. We’re just going to give you a nice wash. Everything will be fine.”
I whispered to her, “I told him that I would stay with him. Is that okay?”
“I’m afraid not. We find it’s much too disruptive if the owners go into the washroom with the dogs, so we ask that you stay out here. He’ll be fine, honestly.”
As we took our seats and waited, Barry was getting more and more nervous. “Promise you’ll stay with me, Jill. Please don’t make me go in that room by myself.”
What was I supposed to do? If I told him I couldn’t go in with him, he’d probably do a runner.
Just then, the door at the back of the room opened, and a witch appeared.
“Barry the labradoodle and Curly Sue the poodle, please.”
“Barry’s over here.” I held up my hand.
“Don’t leave me, Jill.” He looked at me with those big sad eyes of his.
In a hushed voice, I promised that I would be in the washroom with him, but that I would have to make myself look like a poodle first. That seemed to put his mind at ease.
“How long will you be, Jill?”
“Just a couple of minutes, honestly.”
“Okay.”
As soon as he was in the washroom, I dashed outside and cast a spell to transform myself into a poodle.
Back inside the shop, the vampire on reception spotted me.
“Hey, little poodle, what are you doing?” She checked the nametag on my collar. “Curly Sue? Where’s your owner? Never mind, let’s get you washed.” She picked me up and carried me through to the washroom.
Result!
Barry was already in the steel bath, covered in suds. When he spotted poodle-me, he seemed to settle down. All I had to do now was to wait until he’d been washed, and then I’d reverse the spell and take the flack for disobeying their instruction to stay outside the room.
But then, without warning, and before I had the chance to object or to reverse the spell, someone had dumped me into another bath next to Barry. Moments later, I was being sprayed with water and shampoo.
This could not be happening!
Ten minutes later, Barry and I were both being blow-dried. This definitely wasn’t how I’d envisaged spending my morning.
Back in reception, an irate woman with a poodle, was arguing the toss with the vampire.
“Young lady, I think I’d know if Curly Sue was already in the washroom.” She motioned to the poodle at her feet. “Who do you think this is?”
That was our cue to leave. Pronto.
Once outside, I reversed the spell and returned to my normal form.
On the walk back, Barry was full of the joys of spring. “That was fun, Jill. Did you enjoy it?”
“Not so much.”
Aunt Lucy was waiting for us at the door. “You’re looking very smart, Barry.” She hesitated. “What happened to your hair, Jill? It looks very frizzy.”
“You might well ask.” I told her all about my mishap, which amused her far more than it should have done. “You won’t tell anyone about this, will you?”
“My lips are sealed. Would you like to come in for a cup of tea?”
“No thanks. I think I’d better get back.”
“Bye, Jill.” Barry waved.
***
Although I’d declined Aunt Lucy’s offer of a cup of tea, I really fancied a blueberry muffin, so I dropped in at Coffee Games.
Imagine my surprise when I found that a number of people had their bare feet up on the tables. What was the world coming to? Whatever happened to etiquette?
As I made my way to the counter, I realised that a lot of those bare-footed louts were sporting plasters or bandages on one or more of their toes.
“What’s going on, Piers?” I asked.
“It’s all a bit of a disaster. We had a new guy start here today. Someone told him to put the mouse traps out. He had no idea they meant mouse trap the game, so when he couldn’t find any in the storeroom, he used his initiative and went down to the hardware store.”
“And bought the real thing?”
“Correct. He bought thirty of them and put them all around the room. Hence, all the injuries.”
“Oh dear.” I couldn’t help but smile. “Could I get a caramel latte and a blueberry muffin please?”
“Coming right up.” Moments later, he handed me my coffee. “Be careful where you step because there are still several mouse traps unaccounted for.”
“Will do.”
With caramel latte and muffin in hand, I walked gingerly across the room, keeping my eyes peeled for any errant mouse traps. I was just about to take a seat when I noticed Daze, Blaze, and their colleague, Lorna Trune, seated by the window. Blaze had his foot up on the table and he was administering a plaster to his big toe.
“Hi, guys. It looks like you’ve had a bit of an accident, Blaze.”
Daze laughed. “He always did know how to put his foot in it.”
“I’m glad you think it’s funny.” Blaze clearly wasn’t amused. “This is really sore.”
“Do you mind if I join you?” I said.
“Help yourself.”
“You look much happier than the last time I saw you.”
“The red alert is over,” Daze said. “We’re here for a debriefing.”
“Does that mean you found the udders?”
“They’re called Oodahs, Jill, and yes we have, but only just in the nick of time.” Daze turned to Lorna. “Why don’t you bring Jill up to speed?”
“Sure. The Oodahs have always been a very cunning species, but this time they surpassed themselves. They’ve been passing themselves off as mini wind turbines. Once they’d managed to get themselves installed in people’s gardens, they began to send signals back to the mothership.”
“That explains it,” I said. “One of our neighbours had some mini wind turbines installed recently. Ever since then, they’ve been acting really weird. Only yesterday, they were standing in their front garden, waving their arms around.”
“That’s because they were under the Oodah’s control,” Lorna said.
“This morning, three large trucks pulled up outside their house, and a load of uniformed men sealed off the area.”
“They were my people. They’ll remove the Oodahs and deprogram your neighbours.”
“Will they be all right?”
“Yes, but it might take a day or two for them to come around fully.”
“There’s one thing I don’t understand,” Daze said. “How could anyone be gullible enough to agree to have the mini wind turbines installed in their garden? I know they were told that the installation was free and that there’d be no charge for the electricity, but honestly, who would be stupid enough to believe an offer like that could be genuine?”
Who indeed?
***
All week long, I’d done my best to put tonight’s dinner out of my mind. It’s not that I wasn’t looking forward to seeing Martin again, but I was worried about how he and Jack would get along. It was an awkward situation because, for obvious reasons, I couldn’t tell Martin that Jack knew I was a witch. Primarily, it was Jack I was worried about; he was the one who was going to have to pretend that he didn’t know my secret. Much like me, Jack wasn’t very good at lying.
Jack had said he intended to finish work early, so I wasn’t surprised that his car was already on the driveway. There was another car parked in front of
our house, but it wasn’t one that I recognised.
As I got out of my car, I spotted Jack in the window; he was gesturing for me to wait where I was. Moments later, he joined me on the driveway.
“Martin’s here already.”
“What time did he get here?”
“About twenty minutes ago. Did you know he was coming so early?”
“I had no idea. I assumed he’d get here for seven, just in time for dinner.”
“He said he wanted to prepare the dinner.”
“We can’t let him do that.”
“It’s too late. He’s already made a start on it.”
“Why did you let him?”
“I didn’t have much choice. He’d brought a load of food with him.”
“Has he asked any awkward questions?”
“Not yet. Nothing I couldn’t answer.”
“We’d better get inside.”
Martin was in the kitchen, busy preparing the meal.
“Hi, Sis.” He gave me a big hug.
“You really didn’t need to do this, Martin.”
“I wanted to. Cooking is one of my favourite things.”
“That’s something we have in common, then,” I said.
Jack almost choked at that.
Ignoring him, I asked, “What are you making?”
“If I told you that would spoil the surprise.”
“Is there anything either of us can do to help?”
“No, thanks. I’ve got it all in hand. You two go and relax, and I’ll give you a shout when dinner’s ready.”
“Okay, great.”
I went upstairs to get changed, and Jack followed.
“What were you two talking about before I came home?”
“Nothing much. He did say that he’s been living in Somerset, and that he’d only just discovered he had a sister.”
“I still think this is a bit weird. Him coming around here early to make dinner, I mean. Who does that?”
“It’s a nice gesture, Jill. He’s just trying to be friendly.”
“I suppose so, but that doesn’t mean you can let your guard down. You have to be very careful what you say.”