by Zavi James
Carmen stayed a while longer. Neither of us spoke any more about the envelope or its contents. Instead, she told me about the nightmare visit from her family and how Marcus De Salvo was due to get married in October. By the time Carmen left, following lingering hugs on the doorstep, the midday heat had shown some mercy and an unsettling feeling of anxiety and loneliness haunted my every move.
I swept my book off the coffee table and settled onto the couch again. A bag sat partially packed at the foot of my bed in the bedroom. In a few hours, I would fall asleep in this apartment for the last time before starting a new life. I pushed the thoughts from my mind and tried to focus on the words in front of me, but they grew blurry with unshed tears.
The sound of deep voices drifted through the paper-thin walls. Probably another tenant arguing with the landlord about a late payment. I blinked the tears away and shifted my position on the couch. It was increasingly difficult to be comfortable these days. Every sensation was heightened, and all my movements were a little slower. It wouldn’t be long before things returned to normal.
The voices outside suddenly ceased and then there was a sharp knock on my door. I froze at the sound and waited. This was not Carmen’s knock. It was heavier and had no rhythm.
“Stop!” Carmen’s voice came through the barrier.
My heart thudded in double time behind my breastbone and the hairs on my arm stood to attention.
“Force it open,” a deep voice demanded.
No. No. No.
I tossed the book to the side and pushed myself off the couch clumsily. I didn’t know who was outside with Carmen, but I didn’t want to find out. I scrambled toward the kitchen where the fire escape would make for a quick exit. As I made it to the doorway, the front door was kicked open, wood splintering with the force as the lock broke, and I wrapped my arms around myself protectively, unsure of what I was about to face.
“Mia?”
I opened my eyes slowly to be greeted with the familiar figure of Dante. My brain struggled to accept that he was standing in front of me after so long apart, but there was no denying it was him. Hair slightly disheveled, shirt partially untucked, Dante forever looked like he’d been in a rush to get to you, when the reality was he rarely hurried for anything that wasn’t food. He strode into the space and looked directly at me, his eyes moving from head to toe.
“Mia, I’m so sorry!”
Looking past Dante, I saw Carmen standing with a furious Emilio as she apologized. Behind them were a litany of men dressed in black, Gio absent from the small crowd, who were no doubt under Emilio’s orders. My head spun at the scene. This was it. This was how my life was going to end.
Dante’s disbelief brought my attention back to him as he said, “Are you pregnant?”
Chapter Four
Dante
“I’m grateful. You and Carmen are bound to be busy with Javier and the rest of the family.”
A phantom sickness had allowed me to travel down to Emilio following the news that he had figured out where Mia was. Lying to Luc was not something that I made a habit of, and lying to Vittoria made me pray that this would be worth the risk. If either of them found out what I’d been up to, then I could kiss goodbye to my life.
“Yes, well it seems my wife has managed to keep herself preoccupied, since she was obviously not busy enough with pregnancy and birth.” His words were tight and clipped with distaste. Seemed like Emilio and Luc both had a weakness for women who couldn’t care less about traditional protocol.
Carmen and Emilio had been an unlikely pairing that we’d all watched with a vested interest, like an accident that you couldn’t quite pull your eyes away from. Emilio with his criminal history had set his sights on a beautiful heiress and somehow locked her into our world, where she had flourished. Between the pair of them—the connections, the money—they were an untouchable golden couple. But the price Emilio paid was that Carmen did not fit perfectly into the mold that was set out for wives. She had her own plans and ambitions and it seemed as if everyone else be damned if they disagreed with her.
“Yeah, I can see that,” I agreed, not wanting to weigh in on the domestic situation. Alliances were difficult to keep without walking into the murky waters of marriage.
We watched quietly, twitching every time the door to the complex swung open to emit yet another tenant out into the sweltering summer heat. Just as my faith in Emilio started to waver, never to be voiced in his presence, the door opened again and this time a pram was pushed onto the street followed by the beautiful figure of Carmen and the hulking form of Giovanni.
I heard the squeak of leather as Emil’s hands tightened on the steering wheel and then he shot out of the car. There was a beat of hesitation as my brain processed what had just happened before, I scrambled out of my seat and zipped after him. By the time I reached him there was a stream of fast paced Spanish being exchanged between the pair.
“Over my dead body are you carrying out Luc’s dirty work,” Carmen greeted me with narrowed eyes, ignoring whatever Emil had said to her. A perfectly manicured nail was pointed in my direction. “You better turn around and go back home.”
“I’m not leaving until I’ve seen her, Carmen.” It was natural that people would expect me to carry out Luc’s order. I didn’t blame her for thinking the worse, but I had my own plans and they didn’t align with my boss’s. “I’m not going to hurt her. I just want to speak to her.”
“I’ve had enough of this. This wasn’t you’re place, Carmen!” Emil told her sharply. “You’ve made a decision that could affect my alliance.”
“Our alliance,” Carmen hissed back.
“You want to discuss what is ours? You had little care about that when you hid her from Luc without my knowing!”
“She’s my friend, Emil,” Carmen argued. “She saved Santiago’s life.” This conversation was taking a lot of unexpected turns. Someone was going to need to fill in the gaps.
“And you decided to put us all in danger as repayment?” Emilio looked over his shoulder at me. “Let’s go.” He brushed past Carmen and his children. When his wife caught his hand, Emilio pulled it out of her grasp and walked into the apartment building with me hot on his heels.
“Gio! Gio, watch the boys,” Carmen ordered. Gio was not one of ours. He had been with Carmen from the very start, a small part of her life before being tied to ours, and his loyalty lay only with her. “I didn’t put us in danger,” Carmen said, coming after us. “You did! You did by going to him when you should have come to me.”
Emilio didn’t bother to respond to her. Carmen wasn’t willing to see her mistake and he wasn’t about to waste time trying to educate her. A cacophony of boots and one pair of heels echoed around the stairwell as Emilio led the way to the third floor, not willing to wait for the elevator. At least I hadn’t skipped out on cardio lately.
“She doesn’t need this stress! Leave her be!” Carmen continued, a few paces behind us. Her words bounced around the space.
“None of this was your decision to make,” Emilio finally responded to his wife as we reached the desired floor and stood outside apartment 313.
I raised a fist and knocked on the door while the couple argued. There was a sense of anticipation in my stomach that made my muscles twitch. After six long months, I was about to come face to face with Mia again and slot the missing pieces into the puzzle. All the questions that had plagued us would finally be answered and, with any luck, we could pave the road to reconciliation.
There was no sound from the other side of the door. Not a shuffle or a scrape. I lifted my hand to knock again but jumped when I heard Carmen’s voice. “Stop!” There was no hysteria in her command. Carmen demanded the same level of respect that her husband possessed, but, unfortunately, she did not receive it.
Emilio ignored her and looked at me. “Force it open.”
I didn’t need to be told twice. I hadn’t traveled all this way to turn away at the first hurdle. Mia and Carmen must have had
measures in place that ensured they only had contact with each other. As much as I adored Carmen, she’d made a decision to hide Mia, and Emilio had helped me to find her. My loyalty and gratitude to her husband outweighed my fondness for her. I drew back and let the flat of my foot connect with the door, placing all my weight behind the motion. It swung open and I walked in without hesitation.
“Mia?” I called out, scanning the room until my eyes fell on her. She was standing with her arms wrapped around her body as I took her in. She looked perfectly fine until my eyes landed on her stomach. It didn’t lay flat the way I remembered; instead, there was a small curve to her figure hidden beneath her t-shirt. My brow furrowed and my heart stuttered in my chest at the implication of the tiny bump she sported.
“Are you pregnant?” The words flew from my mouth without a second thought and by the look on Mia’s face I’d just stumbled upon a secret that she didn’t want to let loose. Confirmation of an unforeseen complication in my plans.
“Don’t you dare touch her,” Carmen ordered sharply as I took a step toward Mia. I looked over my shoulder to see the small space had been filled with our entire entourage.
“Enough, Carmen,” Emilio told his wife firmly, and she glared at him before turning back to me.
“If you lay a finger on her, so help me God.” The fire in her eyes assured me that Carmen had made her alliance and she wouldn’t back down from it.
“I’m not going to hurt her,” I said calmly.
“Then why are you here?”
I turned back around to look at Mia who had just spoken. “Are you being serious right now?” I asked, some of the calm slipping away. She asked her question as if I had stopped over one afternoon and disrupted her plans, causing her an inconvenience. “You fucking disappeared off the face of the Earth! You’ve had us worried sick!”
“So worried that you’ve put a hit out on me?”
I gritted my teeth together. Some things hadn’t changed. Foolishly, perhaps, I had maintained a small hope that Mia hadn’t heard of Luc’s deluded demand, but with Carmen as her closest ally it came as no surprise that Mia knew the truth, and in typical Mia fashion she had cut down to the bone within the first few sentences.
“That wasn’t me,” I corrected her.
“As if Luc does anything without you knowing,” Mia shot back, her eyes darting from me to the small audience just over my shoulder. She looked like she was trying to calculate the best way to escape. It didn’t matter how innocent I was, Luc and I were one and the same. Inseparable for fifteen years was a hard reputation to shake, even if it was growing cracks in the foundations.
“Trust me,” I said, struggling to keep the bitterness out of my voice. “A lot has changed since your little stunt.”
“And you’re here to drag me back so Luc can teach me a lesson?” she asked just as bitterly.
I moved toward her, Carmen protesting and threatening my life with every step that I took. Wonderful to know that I had a growing list of people who’d be happy to see me dead if I stepped out of line. Mia bumped into the door of her kitchen as she took a step away from me and her arms tightened around her stomach, accentuating the hard curve that it possessed. It was small but definitely there. The sight of it made my head pulse with so many questions, each of which I was uncertain whether I wanted to know the answers to. This put a complicated spanner into my otherwise seamless plan.
Standing in front of her, on closer inspection, I noticed that Mia did not look the same as I’d originally thought. She looked tired and the flicker of fear remained in her eyes. When had I become someone that she feared? Our relationship had been based on sweet treats, laughter and a mutual understanding that, despite the fact Luc could be a colossal asshole, we loved him.
“You know me better than that,” I said to her quietly, wanting to keep it between us, though I doubted that gave her much comfort. She supposedly knew Luc and vice versa but they had both surprised each other with their actions. “I’ve risked my life to come and talk to you. Just hear me out, boss.” I used the nickname that I had once bestowed on her. The first time I’d ever called Mia boss she’d laughed and warned me that Luc wouldn’t be happy, but we all knew Mia would have a hand in running things. Luc would seek her approval in all he did for the rest of his days, because she was all that mattered.
Her dark eyes settled on my face and the silence felt heavy between us before she gave a curt nod. With her blessing, I knew I’d only have one shot at this and so I needed to play it right.
Chapter Five
Mia
If there was one certainty in life, it was that if God existed, he had one strong vendetta against me. Disbelief in my supposed creator would equate to my demise. I had spent the better part of half a year hidden away with only a very select few knowing about my existence, and on the eve of my new life, Dante had burst into my apartment with the grace and class that he was renowned for.
After agreeing with Carmen to let Gio stay with us, Dante and I were left alone. I still wasn’t entirely sure whether I could trust him or if he was trying to lull me into a false sense of security. A small part of me expected Luc to show up through the busted door that no longer shut properly and make good on his word.
“Is he really necessary, Mia?” Dante muttered, gesturing over to Gio. The hulking security guard and I may have barely exchanged more than a handful of words, but I was grateful that he was in the room with us.
“You tell me.”
Dante inhaled deeply before he took a seat without invitation. The tension between us was palpable. It felt as if I’d forgotten how to behave and interact with a person who had once made himself a part of my life with ease. “Whatever makes you happy, boss,” Dante said, propping his feet up on the coffee table in an irritating display of comfort. I wanted him to join me in the awkwardness, wanted to not be the only one struggling with this reunion. My heart gave a weird tug inside my chest. “Since we seem to be cutting right down to the bone, is that why you left?” This time he gestured at my bump with a nod of his head and I rested my hands on it, trying to ineffectively shield it from his view.
It had been Carmen who’d suggested that I may be pregnant when the nausea wouldn’t stop. A trip to the hospital and a battery of tests confirmed my condition. The pregnancy had been an unwelcome surprise that saw sleepless nights and a waterfall of tears. The previous negative tests had played vividly on loop but that was a mistake. I must have been pregnant the entire time. To this day, I felt uncertain about my decision to keep the baby, to raise it alone, but the nagging voice in the back of my head refused to be silenced the moment I thought of giving it up. It reminded me of Dad and how he’d coped as a single parent. He’d never once thought of me as a burden or that I’d be better off without him.
“I thought you loved him, Mia. How could you do that to him?” he continued when I didn’t reply, taking his feet off the table. His tone was clipped, not like the Dante I was used to. This must have been the Dante that donned a suit and carried out unspeakable things alongside Luc.
“I’m sorry. What?”
Dante’s face started to flood with embarrassment, skin becoming rosy pink along his cheeks and down his neck and I realized the assumption he’d made.
“Get out,” I said, pointing to the door, offended at his thought process.
“Mia,” he started, leaning forward, realizing his mistake.
“Get out!”
Gio took a step away from the wall and Dante gave him a quick glance. “Mia be reasonable. You left us, and when I find you, you’re pregnant. What am I meant to think?”
“Not that!” I exclaimed. “For your information, this is Luc’s child. I had no clue I was pregnant until after I’d left. We’d done tests but they were negative.” The memory of Luc and I standing in the bathroom waiting for the test results fluttered to the forefront of my mind yet again. He’d seemed so disappointed by the fact they were negative. He’d whispered promises of starting a brood the mome
nt we were wed. Not for the first time, I wondered what he would think now.
“You thought you were pregnant?” Dante seemed surprised by the revelation.
“Luc didn’t tell you?” I was just as surprised.
“A lot happened between then and now.” In that time, my Dad had been murdered and I’d lost a small hold on my sanity. Luc and I had been preoccupied with more than a pregnancy scare. Dante rubbed his face in his hands and I quietly took a seat in the chair opposite him, the coffee table separating us. “You have to tell him,” he said, head snapping up and looking me directly in the eyes.
“Are you insane? He wants me dead.” Every time I said it out loud the world swayed. It felt like a joke, but I knew reality lay behind the threat. To men like Luc, threats were never empty, words were never just said in anger.
“That’s his child you’re carrying. I…” Dante looked like he was struggling over what to say. “He’s angry,” he finished lamely.
“When I get angry, I don’t put out a hit on people.”
“Different worlds, sweetheart, and you know it.”
I bit my tongue. In my mind, I hadn’t really factored in how Luc would feel when I left. All of my actions had been selfish and impulsive, but when I’d heard that Luc had ordered for people to find me so he could put an end to my life, it felt like everything I believed had been pulled out from underneath me.
“Why did you leave?”
I shook my head. “I can’t tell you.”
“For fuck’s sake, Mia!” he said, voice rising. Apparently, Dante’s patience was wafer thin and I’d already ripped through it. “This isn’t a fucking joke.”
“Does it look like I’m laughing?!” I yelled back, unable to keep a lid on my temper. Between the implication that I’d had an affair and it being made out that I’d run away on a whim, I’d had enough.