by Zavi James
“Okay.” Although I wasn’t sure she was convinced. As I turned away Mia called after me, “D.”
“Yes, boss?”
“You and Tori?” She raised a brow. My face heated and Mia’s lips quirked into a smile. She was one of the first people I’d wanted to tell when Tori and I got back together. She was the only one who would have shared in my joy.
“Make sure you treat her well,” Mia reminded me.
“Of course, boss. But that means I’m going to need to go clear up this little misunderstanding.”
“Do you think this will be better or worse than cheating?”
“I’m about to find out.”
Chapter Ten
Mia
“I thought Dom would still be here,” Dante said as he walked back into the house and saw me sitting alone on the sofa. “What are you watching?”
Seeing Dom again had reduced me to a puddle of tears. He was, understandably, angry at my disappearing act. He had filled me in on Luc and his change in temperament. Whereas Dante had tried to cover Luc’s back, Dom had no trouble in telling me the truth. The repercussions of my actions made it difficult to breathe, but this was something I would need to live with. No one could alleviate me of the guilt.
“He left twenty minutes ago. Luc called.” Luc’s yelling had been loud enough to hear down the phone, and my heart had momentarily stopped in my chest at the muted sound of his voice. It made me numb with nerves to think that Luc was in the area, a few streets away, with no idea that I was back in town.
“90 Day Fiancé,” I answered Dante’s other question, seeing his eyes glued curiously to the screen where a couple were in the midst of an argument. Reading had been a bust. My mind couldn’t focus and so I’d resorted to trash TV, but even that struggled to divert my thoughts. “How were things with Tori?”
Dante had been gone for the past few hours but a quick assessment of him confirmed that he’d come home without a scratch. “Little rocky. We’ll be fine,” he said with a shrug. I couldn’t help but feel guilty. Carmen and Emilio had ended up in an argument over me and now Dante and Tori had also had a fight. I just hoped that all this would be worth the hassle. “She’s looking forward to seeing you when you’re officially back out in the open.”
“Really?”
Dante hung up his jacket and sat down on the arm of the couch, leg swinging slightly. He never could sit still. “I know it’s probably difficult to believe, but not everyone wants you dead, Mia. Tori was angry you left but she worried about you as well. You two were friends and we couldn’t figure out why you’d left without a word. Obviously, now it makes a lot more sense to me.”
“What did she say about it all?” I asked. “What did you tell her?”
“The truth. Well, some of the truth. Told her the grief was too much for you to cope with and then the pregnancy. She softened a bit knowing you didn’t just abandon us.” The same half-truths that I’d told Dom.
“D, why don’t you want anyone to know the truth?” I switched off the TV and shifted in my seat so that I was facing him. Earlier today, when Gabe had brought up Xavier trying to find me, I had been ready to snap about how twisted his father was, but Dante’s subtle gesture had stopped me and he’d left before I’d had a chance to ask why. “They’re going to find out eventually, right?”
“Wrong,” Dante corrected me, becoming serious again. Every time his childish wonder trickled away to be replaced by the hardened criminal it made my hairs stand on end. “No one else can find out the truth.”
“Why not?”
“It’s complicated.” I thought Dante might end the conversation there. I’d grown used to only getting snippets of information rather than the whole story. He ran a hand over his face, and I couldn’t help but notice just how tired he looked. The last few days must have drained him with all the sneaking around. “Family dictates a lot here,” Dante continued, picking at a stray thread of fabric on the sofa. “Bastard kids aren’t given the same respect as the rest of us. It doesn’t matter what they do, without being legitimate it ruins their chances before they’re even born.”
“That’s ridiculous. It’s not their fault. They didn’t get to choose their parents or ask to be born.”
“No, it’s not, but that’s the way it is here. If anyone else finds out about Luc and Xavier, then he’s going to become a target for everyone.”
“They wouldn’t. They love Luc.” It was hard to forget the level of affection and respect Luc had received when we turned up to the New Year’s ball. Everyone had been happy to see him participating in family events again.
“They love him because he’s Charlie’s boy,” Dante explained. “Not sure if you noticed, but we’re a fickle and volatile bunch. If anyone else finds out, then they’re likely to use it against him and things could change pretty drastically.” There was no trace of humor in his words. Dante was being completely serious. He’d always been Luc’s right hand, always protected him when he needed it, whether Luc was aware of it or not. “The last thing we need is for Luc to lose his standing in this family,” Dante said, looking at me again. “This doesn’t go any further. The safest bet is to keep it between us and Luc once we tell him.”
“You’ll be there when I tell him?”
“I’m not going to just lock you both in a room and see what the outcome is at the end of the day.”
“Not without opening the books.”
“There she is!” Dante laughed, clapping his hands together. “To think I missed that smart mouth of yours. Also, between you and me, I’m always going to put my money on you.” That had to be a joke, because when it came down to it Luc was more skilled than I was, but I appreciated the vote of confidence all the same.
“When do you think we should do it? See him, I mean.”
“The sooner the better,” Dante answered. “Gabe, Tori and Dom know that you’re back. That’s already more people than I planned at this point.”
“Soon, like tonight?” Given half the chance, I think we both would have drawn it out for longer but that was a dangerous game when we couldn’t guarantee everyone’s silence.
“I’m sorry. Did you have something else planned? I know your social calendar is packed, but do you think you could try to pencil this in? Kind of important,” Dante responded.
I cocked my head to the side and raised an eyebrow. “Alright, I know you’re stressed about this but so am I. Do not start giving me shit, Dante Atwood. We’re both having to bite the bullet here.”
He looked taken aback by my sharpness. “Yes, Momma,” Dante muttered, giving me a mock salute. “Remember that fire when we’re up in front of Luc. To answer your question, I think tonight’s the best option. We’ll head over to the house after dinner. Hopefully he’ll be there and it’ll give us more privacy than waltzing into work.”
I had spent my spare moments thinking about what would happen when I saw Luc again. I tried to plan out what I would say, but there were too many variables and I couldn’t settle on anything. There was no big speech prepared. I’d have to live in the moment and see what tumbled out of my mouth when I saw him.
“After dinner,” I repeated with a nod. Not that it mattered. There was no way I was going to be able to stomach any food.
Dante reached out across the sofa and grabbed my hand. “I’ll be there, Mia. I won’t let a thing happen to you or that bambino.”
It was a small comfort, but I found myself believing him. Dante hadn’t needed to find me or bring me back on his own. He didn’t have to keep me under his roof or put his relationship on the line. He didn’t have to make a promise on his vow—everything he stood for as a made man—but he’d done all those things. “I trust you,” I said, squeezing his hand.
A thumping knock on the door caused us to both jump, Dante hissing as my nails caught the skin on the back of his hand. My apologies were drowned out as Cerb came running into the room, nails scraping on the wooden flooring before he skidded to a halt and started barking.
“Fuck.” Dante stood up and looked around.
“No, no. I can’t see him yet. I have no idea what to say. This wasn’t part of the plan,” I told him, stumbling over my words and waving my arms wildly.
“You’re going to have to see him at some point, Mia.”
“Not like this. Please.” The shaking started at the center of my chest. This was happening too quickly. I wanted some control but, as per usual, life had other plans. “I can’t, Dante. I can’t.”
“Shhh,” he hushed me, and I could feel my eyes sting with tears. “Okay, go to the kitchen. I’ll talk to him first and bring him through. We’re doing this now.” There was no questioning this. Dante wasn’t prepared to hide me from Luc any longer.
“Dante?” Luc’s voice sounded through the door.
“Go,” Dante commanded as he made his way through the door. “And take him with you.”
“Cerb!” I hissed, blinking away the tears. “Come on, boy. Come on.” My dopey dog ceased barking and looked at me before following me to the back of the house and into Dante’s kitchen.
This was it. No more hiding. I was about to face everything head on.
Chapter Eleven
Lucas
Loyalty was something that we expected in our lives from the ones we chose to keep close, but lately it felt as though people had forgotten that cardinal trait. I never thought I’d have an issue when it came to Dante, my brother in everything but blood; however, we had struggled to maintain our bond. It had started with his incessant need to bring her into the conversation, until I had fired a warning shot, and then had morphed into unnecessary comments concerning the way I ran the business and my life.
So, what if I had been a little trigger happy lately? So, what if I had taken on Xavier’s advice? Losing her had opened up old wounds and reminded me of just how empty my life was. I wished my father was around to turn to, to guide me through the severity of the heartbreak I felt. Without him, my Godfather had become a seasoned voice who helped to steer me at a time I felt lost. Once I had gotten rid of her, my head would be clear; I’d have perspective again and things would settle back into place.
Fuck Dante and his assumptions. He had no idea what I was going through—not now he had patched things up with Vittoria—and rather than support me, he chose to make life more difficult by not doing the minimum I required from him; turning up to work. A rapid assessment of him when he opened the door confirmed that he was fine, and I felt a vein in my temple pulse with irritation.
“Hey,” he greeted me, looking a little flustered.
“Why are you wasting my time?” I asked, not in the mood to pretend like this was a casual visit.
“I’m not wasting your time.”
“Then why haven’t you been at work?”
“I’ve been sick.”
Every one of his responses were prepared and quick and flew out of his mouth before I’d even finished my questions. I gritted my teeth before replying, “Bullshit. You rarely get sick.” During our fifteen years of friendship, Dante had displayed two unusual talents. First was an uncanny ability to get into trouble and the second was an immune system that should have seen him quarantined in some research lab. A pure freak of nature as far as health was concerned.
“I’ve been a little busy,” he said, changing his alibi with a shrug of his shoulders that only served to irk me further. At this rate, I hoped Dante never got questioned about the business, because we’d be in it up to our necks with the way he couldn’t stick to a story.
My patience had worn thin. I took a step forward and Dante mirrored my action in the opposite direction. “If you don’t sort your act out then I’m going to be looking for a new second.”
His relaxed demeanor tightened, and his eyes narrowed. “Good luck with that. You won’t find anyone that’s going to be able to take my place.” People usually pegged Dante as the easy going one out of the pair of us, but I knew him better than that. I knew just how hungry he was, how much he reveled in a position that gave him enough power without too much responsibility. This job was his sweet spot and he wasn’t going to give it up easily. I’d seen him fight for it before, but he’d never had me as an opponent.
“There are plenty of people willing to take the job. You aren’t irreplaceable, Dante.” There was a truth in there. He was a person, a body, and could be replaced by another.
“Plenty of people willing to take you out to get to your spot. Don’t be an idiot, Luc.” That was the problem. As flaky as Dante had become, I still trusted that this man answered to God and me, and not always in that order. His ambition was in line with mine and he wouldn’t try to go above my head in a bid for power. To replace him would be to start from scratch, and I didn’t have the patience to play games with someone who may or may not want to murder me.
The loud sound of barking came from deep inside the house, changing my train of thought. “Why’s he so worked up?”
“It’ll be nothing,” Dante replied, straightening up, but the barking continued to get more frantic.
I pushed him aside, with some struggle, so I could walk into the house properly. “It doesn’t sound like nothing.” Cerberus was the last tie to her. In the immediate aftermath of her disappearance, Cerb had moped around the house in a similar fashion to me. Dumb dog. Dumb Luc. He’d whined at the bedroom door and stood by her seat at the dining table. I’d even found him asleep in her side of the closet a few times. He hunted for her like I did, trying to make sense of why she would have left us, the two beings she professed to love more than anything in the world. As my sadness hardened to anger, watching Cerb continue to pine over her became too much, and in the end Dante had taken over his care.
“Luc! Wait!” Dante called, racing after me as I followed the barking down the hallway.
As I stepped into the kitchen, my heart stopped in my chest. There, crouching on the slate flooring, trying to calm down our overexcited German Shepherd, was the woman who had torn my soul from my body.
“Mia.” It was a whisper, worried that if I spoke too loudly I would startle her, and she’d disappear from in front of me. How many times had my mind tricked me? Every fan of dark hair, every outlandish laugh, every faint scent of citrus jumpstarted my heart with hope that she had returned, only to be disappointed. But here she was, in the flesh. When Mia looked up at me, a familiar pair of dark doe eyes met mine and all the air rushed out of my lungs. She picked herself up from the floor, dressed in jeans and an ill fitted hoodie that fell to her knees. Cerberus had fallen quiet, rubbing his head against her calf, and I felt an irrational sense of jealousy toward the dog.
In the silence that filled the house, I took her in. The last time I had seen Mia, grief had ravaged her features. She had lost weight, barely slept, and the most basic tasks seemed to be a mammoth effort for her. There were no obvious signs of loss in the way she looked now. In the six months she had been gone, her hair had grown longer, and she had regained some weight around her face. Other than that, she was the same as before; soft features and gentle movements. Mia had always been my opposite. Maybe she had grown tired of the rough edges that I possessed, and the world that had taken more than it had given her.
I couldn’t find it in me to step toward her because I didn’t know if I would hug her or snap her neck. Deep inside, two halves of me waged a war against each other. I could do it. I could end all of the pain now with a single shot. I’d wipe my slate clean and forget she ever existed.
“Hi,” she said, the word sounding like it was stuck in her throat.
The moment she spoke, the illusion shattered, and the floodgates opened. Dead or alive, I’d never rid myself of her. Mia had emblazoned herself in my soul and I hated that she continued to hold a certain level of power over me. All the rage that had built up over time, that had been directed at so many others in my life, pooled in my stomach until it ached and bubbled from my mouth. “What are you doing here?”
“Luc…”
Once, I had craved for her to call me Luc when she would only ever call me Lucas. Now, it felt like a knife to my heart. That level of familiarity that she eased into was no longer reserved for the likes of her. “Don’t.” She wasn’t allowed to be soft and sweet with me. She didn’t have a right to stand there and look scared of what I would say or do when she’d torn my heart clean out of my chest and left me on my own.
I thought the moment I saw her again I’d be able to pull the trigger. I had spent so much time convincing myself there was nothing between us anymore, but there was a complicated tangle of emotions beneath the rage. This woman had been mine. I’d have set the world on fire if she had asked, and that killer instinct faltered at the sight of her because the innate need to protect her, to hold her close, had hit me again.
“I came back.”
“Why?”
Mia chewed on her bottom lip, her tell for whenever she felt nervous. I’d seen her do it many times before. It made me want to pull her in and tell her not to worry, but I knew better. I knew she wasn’t some innocent woman who needed me. She’d proven she didn’t need me in the way I needed her.
“What do you need, Mia? Money? A job done?”
“What?” She seemed confused, not following my line of thinking.
“No one wants you here, Mia.” The sentences continued to tumble out of my mouth. I’d never thought of what I’d say to her when I saw her again. I hadn’t imagined finding her on the kitchen floor of my best friend’s house as if she had visited him to grab some sugar. It was so casual and so familiar that it could have been a scene of our life before she’d obliterated it. It scrambled my thoughts and made me doubt the past few months had even happened.
“That’s not fair.”
Who was she to talk about fair? I had given her everything she’d desired and more, and it still wasn’t enough for her. I’d listened to her rules. I’d killed for her. I’d been more than fair to this woman. All I asked for in return was trust and love, but she’d clearly had other plans. I was so easily disposed of and that had cut deep. This was fast becoming too much for me to handle. Balling my hands at my side, I yelled, “WHAT DO YOU WANT?”