by Janie Marie
She flinched, sobbing. “I’m sorry.”
“No, you’ll be sorry when you see his face—when he sees the ugly girl I have all this time.”
Ryder was going to take everything from her. Why? Why was he doing this?
“You don’t even think about what happened to Maura, do you? Ever?”
Again, she shook her head. “I swear I don’t remember.”
“You’re almost just like Logan.” He chuckled that dark sound again. “I suppose that’s how you people deal with guilt. Bury it all the way down, spin the same lies until you believe them and become a victim.”
“I’ll help,” she yelled.
Ryder breathed out and ran a hand through his hair. “You’re going to go to therapy, do you understand?”
She stared at him in shock. “Me?”
“Yes, you. You’re going to get help because you need it. I’m not doing it for you. I’m doing it for Janie and Maura. I’m betting deep down, Maura wants you to be happy. It’s messed up, but I got that impression when she told me all this shit. Fuck, how could you not care you reminded her of her twin?”
Her eyes widened as she stared at him. “Maura doesn’t have a twin.”
“You blocked that out, too?” He closed his eyes for a few seconds, exhaling loudly. “Let’s see if this knocks one of your rusty screws loose. They weren’t identical. Her sister had blond hair. Don’t you remember a picture of a little blond girl—a picture you burned?”
Fire roared within a fireplace as Maura cried, and Lorelei held her to keep her from reaching into the flames.
Kylie’s mouth fell open. “I don’t remember.”
“Sure you do.” His eyes narrowed on her. “You’re just refusing to accept what you’ve done. Accept it, and you’ll unlock everything you’ve hidden away.”
The hooded girl tugged the door, but Kylie fought her.
When she stayed quiet, he continued, “Her twin saved her when their dad went crazy. He loved to touch Maura—had a thing for little brunettes, I guess. Just like Mama but younger. And one day, that little blonde attacked him. She grabbed a knife and stabbed him when he was teaching little Maura how to make Daddy feel good.
“Her sister, a few minutes older than her by the way, so big sis, stabbed their dad. He hit her, knocking her back. Maura tried to fight back then. And he was about to bring the knife down on her until her big sister jumped over her.”
Kylie’s eyes widened. “What happened?”
“She died.” He snapped his fingers. “Instantly. He stabbed with enough force to sever her spinal cord. Maura’s big sister gave her life to save her. Her name was Angelica. Makes sense now, doesn’t it? Why Lorelei wanted you hidden. She tried to save the daughter she’d failed.”
He sighed, looking up at the moon. “I’m missing something from this story. Since you’re playing dumb, it’s just out of reach, but I’ll find it. But it’s clear your actions ruined Maura’s life. You could’ve saved her before it went on for years, before she had to experience carrying her rapist’s baby, then having it aborted. By him, by the way.
“Maura said Lorelei didn’t know until just before he died. But it could’ve stopped the moment she asked you to back her up. Your own abuse could’ve been prevented if you had helped her instead of turning her into a monster. It was her choice to embrace that role, but you pushed her there. So I’m giving you a choice right now. Open your fucking mouth and save your sister, or go back to hiding. Alone.”
Kylie’s chest felt like it was being clawed open. “I don’t know where to start.”
Get justice for Maura.
Ryder took a step away from her. “Stop focusing on yourself so damn much. Even if I believe this shit that you ‘don’t remember’, you do remember what you did to her—I see it in your eyes. All you do is go around thinking about how bad shit is for you, how no one cares and everyone else has more than you.
“Stop being a brat. Every day Maura has had to live with these disgusting secrets. She’s died every night she dreamed of your dad and her own touching her and killing her sister. She’s haunted by everything you put her through—of you leaving her in the hands of a monster.”
Kylie covered her face. She didn’t remember it, yet she did. She knew it was true.
“I get you want to live in this fantasy where you’re the only victim,” he continued, “but you only became the victim because in your twisted mind that was better. That made you better than Maura and Lorelei.”
“I tried to stop what she did to me,” she said, furious he ignored that. “No one believed me.”
“Why would they?” he asked so carelessly that her stomach knotted. “You’ve always been a liar. Your entire school said you were a spoiled, mean girl who did anything to get her way. And deep down, you knew you were getting what you deserved.
“You didn’t want anyone to find out what got left back in Wolf Creek. You knew all this time, and you tricked yourself into believing you’re just an innocent victim. You’re not. Now get over it—Maura needs you.”
“What about Logan?” She lowered her trembling hands. What was she going to do? She wanted to run. She wanted darkness to hide her like it always did. “Am I just supposed to forget he lied?”
Ryder pinched the bridge of his nose. “What, Kylie? You’re stuck on the fact he used to make love to Janie day and night. Yes, he lied. I told your dumb ass the first time I talked to you that he was a liar. He lied about their baby and even about having sex with her, because it all meant he lost his baby and his baby doll.”
She cried, holding the wound in her heart. “Stop saying how much he fucked her.”
“He made love to her,” he retorted, lowering his hand and leveling her with a ruthless stare. “Not once did Logan Grimm fuck her—but I can tell he fucked you.” He gestured to her body. “Feel good about yourself? You finally got the boy who first had his eyes on a pretty brunette.”
The image of Jacob Grayson smiling at Janie manifested in her mind, then Janie morphed back into Maura, but Logan was there, his eyes never leaving Janie.
“I love him,” she whispered, panicked. “He loves me. He lied because he didn’t want that baby.”
Ryder watched her freaking out as he said, “Logan’s finally chosen to mourn their baby. He neglected both of them all these years, and you’re not gonna interfere with them healing.”
“Why do you want them to be together?” she shouted, unable to comprehend his thought process. “She’s your girlfriend. You deal with her. Logan’s my boyfriend. I’m the one who should be there for him. We love each other.”
He dismissed her words. “You don’t know each other enough to call this shit between you two love. What he and Janie had was love. I saw the way she loved him—felt it. When she told him his baby doll died in the woods, I watched part of his soul die too.”
He took a few steps toward the door before coming back. “Trevor tried to cut her stomach open because he didn’t like finding out Logan’s baby had been in there. He wanted to kill her and remind Logan of what he lost.”
“Stop,” Kylie sobbed.
“Why?” he asked. “Accepting the truth is the only way to get it through your goddamn head that they need each other to get through their problems. None of their shit is about you. You have your own problems.”
“He needs me. They ruin each other!” Her voice cracked with rage.
“Okay, girl who’s had a boyfriend she doesn’t even know for a whopping week.” His chest heaved as he watched her, like he wanted to throw her over the courtyard wall. He didn’t. He just kept ripping her apart with his words. “Get it through your head. They were in love. They made love, and that made a baby. You can’t imagine the look in Logan’s eyes when I told him his baby was dead and the girl he was still in love with had been brutally raped.”
“She wants him for herself.” Why didn’t he understand this?
“Oh, grow up.” He turned his head as a bitter chuckle left him. “I shouldn’
t even be taking the time to tell you any of this.” He held a hand over his chest. “Do you know how much this shit hurts me?”
“You’re heartless,” she spat with all the venom she could conjure.
He lowered his hand and took three steps toward her, bending, snarling, “My heart is on a hospital bed with the guy who broke hers. Don’t you dare tell me my heart is gone when the only thing that keeps me sane is having her in my life at all. If she needs Logan, she’ll have him. Let him atone for the things he did wrong. That’s the only way either of them can live.”
“And what am I supposed to do?” she shouted, throwing out her arms. “Let him fall back in love with her?”
“Fucking hell.” He released a deep breath and stood straight. “He never fell out of love with her.”
Her heart cracked open.
“I’m not sure he ever will,” he added, not looking devastated by this. “But that’s not up to either of us.”
“You’d just let him love her?”
“He already does,” he roared, startling nesting birds from the tree. “So what? They’re not together.”
His rage fueled her hate, so she let it out. She wasn’t the bad person—they were, and they wanted to steal Logan. “He doesn’t need to be the one there. You go be there for her. Be a boyfriend and stay out of my business.”
“I’m a good boyfriend,” he growled. “Logan is shit, and you’re on your way to being the most selfish girl I’ve ever met. You have your own problems to sort out, and you’re worried Logan’s going to realize he’s still in love with Janie. It sucks, but be real—you two have barely been a couple.”
“You know nothing about us,” she bit out.
“No, Kylie. You and Logan know nothing about each other or yourselves.” He spoke with a low, even tone, but the impact of his words left her in pieces. “The one thing you have going for you is you didn’t suffer Maura’s type of horror. You don’t understand what it feels like to be touched the way she has—the way Janie has. I had to teach my baby how to accept being close to people. That’s why she holds one of my brothers’ hands. That’s how fucking hard it’s been on Maura, but she’s had no one.”
She wanted to scream. That was not why Janie threw herself at guys.
“You need to get out of your head,” he continued. “Stop acting like your life started the day Maura fought back. Accept you had fourteen years where you were spoiled and mean. It won’t erase what you’ve suffered from Maura and Lorelei, but very few people have lives where nothing goes wrong for them. Even being protected can come with a fuck load of scars and bruises. You’re actually lucky.” He gestured to her body. “Bruised and scarred, sure, but you won’t have the type of nightmares they do. You added to the nightmares Maura will never escape.”
“I have nightmares,” she snapped.
He chuckled tiredly. “Fine, Kylie. You won’t forget how they’ve treated you, and you may always carry a few visible scars. And maybe when you’re done hiding, you’ll have nightmares about what your dad did to Maura—you’re a victim too. I never said you weren’t. My point is, no one sees Maura’s scars. Even you with your ‘no evidence, it didn’t happen’ shit. You’re the only one who knew the truth, and she will always remember the sight of you walking away, of you lying. For years.”
Kylie covered her face, sobbing while her body stayed locked in place, unable to run like she wanted to.
“As far as Lorelei is concerned,” he went on, “I can’t imagine what she must be suffering. You made a mother choose between two daughters, and she made a mistake trusting you. Hate her all you want—she did you wrong, but what would you do for your daughter once you learned the truth? When you couldn’t trust anyone to save them, and you were afraid? She did what a mother does to save her child—she gave her life. She’ll never be the same either.”
“She should suffer!” Kylie didn’t see any excuse for what Lorelei had done. There was no excuse for letting Maura hit her, for hitting her too.
Ryder shook his head. “You’re one step from pure fucking evil. You don’t even care you’re being offered help because you hate your enemies are receiving equal help.”
“It’s not equal!” She slapped the bench. “And I’m not evil. All of you pick them over me because they’re horrible, just like Janie.”
Rage morphed his handsome face until he looked more demon than man. “Watch what you say about her in my presence. When are you going to learn what you say and do has a fucking consequence?”
The vibrant fire in his eyes dimmed as he watched her cower, and he released a deep breath. “Listen, you’re a victim. Your parents didn’t raise you right, and someone killed your poor mom. It’s not your fault your dad was a sick bastard. It’s not your fault for loving him regardless and wanting to be his entire world—you should have been. But you weren’t, Kylie. Your father chose his sick desires over everything in the world. Just like you’re trying to.”
She shuddered, her chest ripping open because he was right.
“Don’t you get it?” He stared at her, disbelief etched across his face. “You’re trying to excuse your bad choices because of being the victim, but you don’t want Maura’s suffering, or anyone else’s, to be taken into consideration.”
“This isn’t your place.” She looked up at him. His black jacket and the moon behind him made it seem like he wore a dark cloak with a silver halo over his head.
“Assuming you know everything.” The corner of his mouth tipped up into a cruel smile. “Everyone faces me. They escape nothing. And neither will any of you. But I’m giving you chances most never get.”
Kylie stood, wiping her face. “You can stop acting like God already. It’s not like you’re a saint.”
He just watched her, his eyes never leaving hers. “You have no idea what world you live in.”
“I hate you.” She wiped her cheeks, shaking as she feared what he’d do next. She could feel her entire life trying to flash before her eyes, and she hated him for making her feel this way.
Ryder shrugged, stepping back a bit. “I only care what one person thinks of me, and you’re not her.” He looked up at the moon again. “I’m getting justice for Maura. I fail if you keep your trap shut. So are you ready to do the right thing because it’s right? Not just because it benefits you—like bringing Logan here.”
“I brought him to get better—for him.”
“No, you didn’t.” He turned around, walking toward the door before she could defend herself. “It’s in every word you say, Kylie. You came here for you.”
Three
NIGHT TERROR
Kylie couldn’t believe she’d followed Ryder back to the room. He’d stopped to change shirts and wash his hands, removing as much of his cigarette stench as he could before checking in with a nurse about Maura. Then he’d taken her to Janie’s room.
Part of her had expected to walk in and find Logan and Janie laughing together as he got her to eat, but it was worse. He had somehow fit on the very edge of the bed and had one arm under Janie’s head as he rested his other hand on her stomach. He was asleep with her.
Ryder’s stare pulled her attention from the horrible sight. He sat in a chair near the bed and slowly leaned forward, placing his forearms on his knees as he watched her. The movement reminded Kylie of a panther situating itself on a branch before pouncing on its prey. He had his phone in his hand, but he never took his eyes off her. It was like he expected her to pull out a gun and shoot up the place.
More like swing a belt.
Kylie sighed as she leaned her head against the cushion. Why couldn’t people just leave things alone? Time went by and people forgot. Moved on. That’s the way life was meant to be.
Oh, Kylie.
An alarm on one machine sounded, startling all of them. She sat frozen as Janie’s breathing increased, but Ryder and Logan sprang into action, rubbing Janie’s back and whispering as she continued breathing faster. The heartrate alarm continued to sound. Janie’s h
eart rate skyrocketed over 150 beats per minute, but she didn’t wake.
She did, however, start screaming, a completely frightened scream that even horror movies couldn’t replicate.
Logan almost fell off the bed as Janie sat up.
“Logan! Logan, he’s right there.” Janie’s eyes shot wide open, and she screamed in his face while tears streamed down her cheeks. “Logan!”
Ryder shoved Logan back when Janie tried to jump out of bed, and he wrapped his arms around her, rocking her as she kept screaming.
Logan turned away, covering his ears as he seemed to break down. Kylie stood up, but she couldn’t move beyond that.
“It’s okay, my love,” Ryder kept whispering as Janie kept shouting Logan’s name.
Finally, Logan turned, his eyes red as he sat beside Janie. “I’m here, Janie. I won’t leave you. He’s not going to get you—he’s gone.”
Tears blurred Kylie’s vision as Logan cried.
“He’s still there,” Janie screamed, pointing above her, staring wide-eyed at absolutely nothing. “He’s there, Logan.”
Logan shook his head. “No, baby, he’s not.”
Kylie’s breath hitched. Baby?
He made it worse. “I’m here, baby. I won’t leave you.”
Janie kept pointing, a look of utter horror etched across her face as she screamed for Logan. It went on and on. She was awake but not, and nothing was there.
Then suddenly, she quieted. Her gaze stayed focused above her, but she spoke almost peacefully. “It’s gone.” She didn’t look at Ryder or Logan. “It’s gone. I’m okay.” Then her eyes closed and she fell back asleep.
Kylie covered her mouth as Ryder motioned for Logan to move, and he rolled her onto the bed as a nurse came in to help.
Logan watched like a guard dog, holding his head as Ryder situated Janie on the bed better. Then he turned toward Kylie. His gaze darkened in an instant, and he lowered his arms. He stood there, just staring at her with his hands tightly clenched at his sides. Then he slowly walked to stand in front of her. “Were you with him?”