by Fiona Murphy
“Yes, Cesare, whatever you say, Cesare.”
“Damn right. Want to take a nap?” Her eyes light up. My woman, my heart.
23
September
Alicia
The alarm sounds far away; I roll over to turn it off. As I do, I swallow causing pain to flare in my throat. Holy shit, it hurts. It feels like I’m trying to swallow white hot marbles with thorns on them. A dim memory comes to me of waking in the middle of the night as I swallowed in my sleep and pain forcing me awake for a few painful minutes before I fell back to sleep. Yesterday I was feeling rundown and achy but I thought it might be a cold. I’m not sure what this is, but it’s not a cold.
It hurts to hold my head up, so I roll onto my back. I run my hand over my face, damn it, I have a fever. Crap, I hate being sick. My mind goes half-heartedly through Dante’s calendar for today. Today is a Monday, so he is usually busy. Then I swallow again and fuck it hurts so badly tears sting my eyes. Dante can figure it out, or at least Hannah will.
I grab my phone. Fumbling I manage to type out a text to Cesare that I’m sick and won’t be in today. I ask him to tell Dante I’m sorry. My bladder is telling me I need to get up but I don’t want to. There is no surprise when my phone rings.
“Hi.” I croak. Damn that sounds bad. As bad as it sounds, the effort it took hurts worse. A few tears escape.
“What’s the matter? You sound awful.”
“Throat hurts, fever. Hurts to talk.” I mumble, more tears flow.
“Hold on, cara.” The phone goes dead.
That’s a little rude, the thought flutters then is gone. I can’t keep my eyes open. A few minutes later there’s a light knock on the door to the bedroom. Claudine asks if she can come in.
“Yes.” I moan. I pull the covers up to cover my naked body.
“Sorry, dear, Cesare is concerned about you.” Her hand runs over my forehead. “Oh my, that is quite a temperature.” Her cool soft hands run under my jaw. Vaguely, I know she’s checking if my lymph nodes are swollen. Sonofabitch, yeah, they’re swollen and extremely painful. “Sorry, I’m sorry. Okay, it looks like we do need a doctor. Would you like me to get you a nightgown for when the doctor comes?”
I can only nod, talking hurts too damn much. I try to help her as she puts the nightgown on me but I’m weaker than I thought, and Claudine does most of the work. Once it’s on I roll over, wanting to escape into sleep.
I’m woken by the touch of Cesare’s hand on my forehead. He’s angry, I can’t focus on what he’s saying but he’s loud above me. Another voice, soothing speaks over him. Cold hands press into those swollen as fuck lymph nodes. Ouch. The soothing voice is back apologizing.
“Can you open your mouth for me?” I blink at the man, he looks like a sweet old grandpa. His white hair matches his bushy eyebrows, except the hand on my chin is strong. Since I won’t get peace until I open my mouth I do. Ow, he presses a flat stick down on my tongue. A tiny flashlight is on and sweeps over my eyes then into my mouth. “Oh my, yes, it is strep throat. I’m glad you came to get me.”
The grandpa lets me go. Then the words he said sink in, strep throat. “Cesare.” Opening my eyes is a struggle.
“Shh... it’s okay. I’m right here. Are you allergic to penicillin?” Cesare asks against my ear. I shake my head. “Alright, sweetheart, hold on to to me.” His pulls me into his arms, heaven. “This is going to sting just for a minute then you’re going to feel better, I promise.” Ouch, the mean grandpa has given me a shot on my ass. I grip Cesare tight burying my face into his neck. “I know, but that’s all. That’s it, no more pain and you’ll be better soon.”
A sigh escapes me as his big hands run over my back. “Thank you, Doctor Weber. I appreciate you taking care of her.”
The doctor laughs, “I didn’t get that I had a choice. I’m glad I could help. It will take another day or so for the shot to have her right as rain. Plenty of fluids, water, juice, no coffee, no soft drinks or anything with caffeine. To eat she’s need soft foods, her throat will still hurt so she won’t want to eat much for a day, maybe two. Don’t be you and get forceful with her to eat. Keeping her hydrated is the most important thing.”
Cesare moves, I cling not willing to let him go. “Okay, sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere.” I want to open my eyes but I’m too tired. Cesare’s hands are running along my back soothingly. Gradually the world fades away.
The next time I wake up my bladder refuses to let me stay in bed. I’m still in Cesare’s arms. I moan a little.
“What, sweetheart?”
“Bathroom.” I croak.
“Okay, bathroom it is.” He sweeps me up into his arms. Carefully, he settles me on the toilet. A hand runs over my head, through my hair.
I wince, I can’t believe I’m embarrassed. “I can’t with you...”
“All right, I’ll be right outside.”
Blinking, the light seems brighter than usual in here. I tug the nightgown out from under me. Oh man, that’s a relief. Leaning against the wall, it takes a minute for me to get the strength to wipe then stand. Almost immediately my legs give out from under me. What the hell? Motherfucker, my hip and shoulder are screaming in pain.
“Damn it, Alicia.” Cesare picks me up. I flinch at first, the anger in his voice scares me but below the anger I hear the panic, his fear. His arms are tight around me. “You should have called for me. Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself? Do you want me to call the doctor back?”
Shaking my head, I tighten my arms around his neck. “Sorry.”
“I’m sorry I yelled. I was worried. You have to be careful, sweetheart.”
I nod as I snuggle back into him.
“Don’t sleep just yet. A few sips take a few sips for me.” A straw is pushed against my lips. I open my mouth and take a few sips the pain isn’t as bad as it was this morning but my throat still hurts. “Good girl, thank you.”
He lets me sleep.
This time when I wake up I’m wrapped in Cesare’s arms in spoon fashion. I hate this position, I prefer his heart under my ear. I’m thirsty and even though the last thing I did was pee, I have to go again. Oh, my throat doesn’t hurt to swallow. It’s still thick, but the pain is gone.
“You want to get up?”
“Please, I need to pee and I’m thirsty.”
“Okay.” Cesare carries me into the bathroom. He hits the lights and only now do I realize the lights were off and Cesare was asleep in the bedroom. He sets me down gently. “You don’t try to stand. You pee then you call me back.”
After what happened last time I don’t even consider arguing. “Yes, okay.” It’s nice to talk again without pain, only I still sound scratchy. When I’m done, I call Cesare. “I want to brush my teeth and wash my hands, please.”
“We can do that. I’ll set you down, my arm around your waist.”
I nod. Even though I was sure I would be able to stand on my own, his arm tightens around me when I sway the second I’m on my feet. Dang it. I’m clumsy as I brush my teeth. I’m exhausted by the small task. Cesare picks me up again. This time he puts me on the edge of the bed. He puts a straw up to my mouth, several deep gulps are needed before I’m satisfied.
“Are you hungry, sweetheart? You haven’t eaten anything all day.”
I am but I don’t know what I want. I nod.
“How about some soup? Claudine got some chicken soup with noodles, then there is beef and barley. Which one sounds good?”
“Chicken, can I have some toast with butter?”
“Anything you want. I’ll be right back.” With a kiss on my forehead he’s gone.
With a happy sigh I lean up against the headboard. Curious about the time I look down at my phone. Holy shit, it’s three in the morning. Immediately I’m hit with guilt at waking Cesare up so early. Memories come back in small flashes, Cesare wiping my face with a cool wash cloth, Cesare on his cell phone talking above me as he held me, small kisses pressed against my forehead.
“You stayed with me all day.” It’s not really a question, the words come out as Cesare comes into the bedroom with a tray holding a bowl of soup, a glass of orange juice and a small plate of Italian bread toasted with butter.
He nods as he settles the tray over my lap. “You got upset every time I tried to move away. Soon enough I realized I didn’t really want to leave you, anyway.”
I open my mouth for the spoon he has at my mouth. I’m pretty sure I could feed myself only I like Cesare doing it. I chew slowly and thoroughly even though my throat doesn’t hurt it’s still sore. I’m offered a bite of the toast. “I’m sorry you missed work.”
“I’m not. You scared the hell out of me. I was beginning to wonder if your fever would ever break. Dante was more than happy to cover for me and I was able to cancel the few appointments I have today.”
The spoon is back before I can ask a question. I open my mouth but a glass of orange juice with a straw in it is offered to me. Sipping carefully, I sigh with relief, it’s slightly watered down. “I’m sorry it’s three in the morning and you have to be up in a few hours for work.”
“I’m working from home today. I want to keep an eye on you and make sure you’re okay.”
“Really?” Cesare has always been sweet and taken care of me in small ways, like refusing to let me cook every night of the week, ordering dinner in some evenings or Dante and Enzo cooking others. Then there was the time I took a tumble because of Grover getting overexcited and tripping me. Even though all I did was hurt my knee, my bum knee and my hand Cesare acted like I should be in a wheelchair carrying me all over the place while he yelled at Grover. After finally talking him out of the need to have my knee X-rayed I gave in to his insistence of a knee wrap which he put on himself every morning then checking on during our lunch for a week. He was so sweet I might have exaggerated the pain for a day or two.
“Yes, really. Stop looking so wide-eyed and adorable. I can’t kiss you right now.” Another spoonful of soup is almost thrust into my mouth. Fighting a smile my eyes go down. Ah, he’s wearing pajama bottoms. Cesare hasn’t slept in pajamas the six months I’ve been here. It reminds me of the long nightgown I’m in. Huh, I forgot I even have this. It was a gift from Bethany one year. Normally I slept in an oversized shirt and panties, this was for when she came to visit to protect her delicate sensibilities, so she didn’t have to see my ass hanging out of my panties. The material is cotton but stiff from lack of use, it’s a Victorian style buttoned up to the neck, thankfully someone had unbuttoned it so I could breathe. When I’m standing it goes past my knees to my shins. Now that I’m feeling a little better I hate it. “Stop tugging on the nightgown, it stays on.”
“I hate it. Why does it have to stay on? Why can’t you kiss me?” I ask after dutifully taking a sip of my juice.
His forehead wrinkles as if he can’t believe I asked him the questions. “Because you’re sick. You need rest. That nightgown is the equivalent of a cold shower. And when I kiss you the last thing I want to do is, let you rest.”
Oh, okay. There’s a goofy smile on my face but I can’t stop it. I open my mouth for another spoonful of soup. Cesare kisses my nose. He is being so sweet I’m getting all gooey inside. “I really am sorry for waking you up in the middle of the night.”
“You don’t have to say you’re sorry. You’re going to thank me by taking care of yourself and getting better, so I can return the favor by replacing the hours we should have been sleeping with fucking you mercilessly.”
Hmm... yes please. Those eyes are hungry, heavy, and as needy as I feel as they run over me. I swallow my juice in one gulp. “I’m feeling better.”
He smiles. “Don’t tempt me, witch. No, another day or two. The waiting will make the payoff so much better.”
I forgot how cruel he could be sometimes. When I try to argue, bread is stuffed into my mouth. Dang him. With a kiss on my forehead he’s up, taking the tray with him.
***
Alicia
When the alarm goes off I startle. What the heck? I don’t even remember falling asleep. One moment Cesare was walking away with the tray he fed me with and now it’s... six in the morning. I wonder where Cesare is, he had to have reset the alarm from his usual five o’clock wake up time but he must have woken up around the same despite being awake at three. I consider getting up, but my eyes make the decision for me and I fall asleep again.
This time I wake up with a happy sigh. Opening my eyes, I find Cesare on the edge of the bed. A finger runs down my cheek.
“I’m sorry I woke you. I wanted to check on you, but I can’t keep my hands to myself with you in the same room.”
His finger glides over my smiling lips. I capture the finger and press a kiss against it. “I love when you wake me up. You as the first thing I see in the morning is the best way in the world to wake up.”
A groan comes out of him as he leans down to kiss my forehead. “Tell me you’re feeling better.”
“I’m feeling better.” I respond dutifully as I run a hand down his chest only covered in a tight white shirt.
With a sigh he shakes his head. “Not yet, not for what I want to do to you.”
“I am though.” I whine. I don’t care how I sound, I want him to make love to me.
“Alicia, you aren’t. Now, do you want to get up for breakfast or do you want me to bring it into you?” I’m pouting, I hate being sick. I hate Cesare. His sigh is loud. “Fine, I’m going back to work.”
“Cesare.” What the hell? Why am I crying?
I’m in his arms, “Sweetheart, please don’t cry. Y0u’re sick. I want to make love to you but not when you aren’t well.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m crying. I feel awful.”
“Shh... it’s okay. It’s okay to cry. You don’t feel well, it’s normal.”
Cesare’s arms around me make everything better. Wow, I had no idea I was so dang clingy. I should be embarrassed only Cesare’s sweet response won’t let me.
The tears die down slowly. Cesare pulls back, “All right, cara?”
“Yes, but... I’m dying for a shower.”
He squeezes his eyes shut. “Neither of us are strong enough for a shower. How about a bath?”
I’m sad he won’t be holding me in his arms. “Okay.”
A gentle kiss to my cheek and he’s going into the bathroom. He knows I like an extra hot bath. I slide to the edge of the bed and take the odious nightgown off. I’m considering having Claudine burn the damn thing. Cesare is shaking his head as he sees me. I’m in his arms again as he carries me into the bathroom. Gently, he lowers me into the steaming bath.
“Relax, enjoy the water. Call me when you’re ready to get out.” Another kiss and he’s gone.
Stupid strep throat.
I take my time in the bath. When my fingers start to get wrinkly I reach for the shampoo, I had wanted to leave washing my hair until I was ready to get out. Heat flashes over me, I look up to find Cesare watching me, leaning against the open door of the bathroom.
“I wanted to check on you. You’ve been falling asleep in the blink of an eye, I was afraid you’d fall asleep.”
“No, I just want to wash my hair and then I’m done.”
He moves with an easy grace I can only marvel at in someone so large, he’s beside the bathtub on his knees. Taking the shampoo from me, he opens it then pours a small amount in his palm. He’s washed my hair before, he loves my hair and because of the way he loves it, I’ll never do more than trim it again for the rest of my life. A sigh escapes me. His large hands massage the shampoo into my scalp, slow, gentle, he brings the soap to a lather. He tilts my head back as he pours water over my hair, again and again, until the water runs clear.
Done, he pushes the release for the water then helps me stand. He hands me one towel for my hair. I squeeze out the excess water than wrap my hair in the towel. Cesare uses another towel to dry me off, I’m biting my lip as I watch his hands move over me, they aren’t steady, and th
e sight makes me wet for him all over again. Wrapping the towel around me, I’m up in his arms again.
He sets me down on the bed. “Any requests for clothes?”
“No, whatever you pick is fine with me.” I work on my hair while he’s gone.
I’m handed a silky soft stretchy camisole, panties and lounge pants in a soft cotton. Cesare helps me dress. Once I’m covered, he scoops me up again. I rest my head on his shoulder. God, I’m already tired again. But I’m also hungry.
Claudine smiles when she sees me. “How are you feeling today?”
“Better, thank you for helping take care of me yesterday.”
“No problem at all dear. What would you like for breakfast?”
“Scrambled eggs and toast and coffee is fine.”
Claudine looks to Cesare. Setting me down at the dining table Cesare takes my hand as he sits down beside me. “Sweetheart, the doctor said no caffeine. How about some hot chocolate?”
No coffee? Cesare squeezes my hand. I remember the doctor from yesterday. Between his strict orders and Cesare’s concern it’s futile to argue. “Fine. Hot chocolate sounds good. Can I have marshmallows?”
After breakfast, Cesare wants to take me back to bed. I refuse. I want to go sit in his office with him. I’ve slept like twenty hours over the last twenty-four hours. I refuse to admit I’m dying to go back to bed.
Nodding, Cesare carries me into his office. He sets me down on the couch. I’m covered in the fleece soft throw I keep in here for when I read while he works before I even my mouth to ask for it. “Want me to get your tablet?”
“Yes, please.”
Cesare is gone then back in minutes. He hands me the tablet then presses a kiss to the edge of my mouth. For a while all I do is watch him, no story is as interesting as Cesare. Gradually though it’s harder to keep my eyes open. Before I know it I’m asleep again.
I wake up to Cesare speaking Italian, the words flow over me. I’m smiling as I open my eyes. I find his eyes on me. It reminds me of our trip to Italy last month, we had spent a week in Florence our days slow as we roamed the streets hand in hand. I begged Cesare to teach me Italian, I’m not sure I’ll ever have the same fluency as he does but I loved the phrases he taught me and his rewards for when I got things right. On the plane home he apologized, confessing he wanted us to go on vacation again after our Venice trip sooner only work got crazy and he wanted our time to be devoted to us, not him concerned with work. He asked me where I would like to go next time. I thought for a moment, in Italy? His laughter made all my bones melt at the change in him. No, anywhere in the world I wanted to go. He told me to think it over and let him know.