by Sadie Moss
I want his cock inside of me—
No. Wait.
I do want those things, yeah, but this isn’t how I want them to happen. He’s just trying to avoid talking about it with me, to avoid telling me what happened between him and Valentina. He’s using sex as a tactic, and no matter how turned on I am right now, I don’t do that.
“Sawyer,” I grit out, trying to get my breathing under control. “You’re deflecting.”
“And?” His hand slides between my legs.
My hips buck toward his fingers instinctively, but I use the jolt of movement to snap myself out of the daze of lust.
I slap his hand away. “Hey. You.”
“Yes?”
Dammit. Why does everything he say sound sexy? Even that one word makes me almost forget what I was doing.
Argh! Focus, Trin!
I snap my fingers in his face. “Eyes up here. Hands off. We’re going to talk about this. You can’t keep using sex as a wall to keep people away.”
“Oh, I can’t? Are you sure about that?” He sounds genuinely amused.
And much as I hate to admit it, I can kind of see where his confidence comes from. He did what I asked and isn’t even touching me anymore, but the fog of arousal clouding my head has barely faded. His mere proximity is enough to make my skin tingle with electric heat.
“Yes, I am sure,” I shoot back. “I know what you’re doing.”
I squeeze my thighs together, although I don’t know if that makes it better or worse. The action sends a pulse of pleasure though my core. I blow out a breath, scooting back a few inches on the couch.
“I may not be the most experienced person in the world, but I’m not stupid either. And I’m not as naïve as I once was.” I fold my arms and glare at him as best I can with overwhelming desire still pulsing through my body. “Just be real with me for once, is that so hard?”
Sawyer gets an odd look on his face. The amber of his eyes, which burns like fire when he’s in full-on Lust mode, darkens a little. His jaw clenches and he looks away, swallowing. “Maybe it is that hard,” he admits, his voice low and rough.
The arousal in me fades. It’s still there, it’s not gone completely, but I no longer feel like I’m being hit with wave after invisible wave of desire. Like Sawyer’s finally turned it off.
He’s still unbearably handsome. That hasn’t changed. But I don’t feel like I’m being hit with pure lust anymore. Whatever arousal is left in my body is there because I’m genuinely attracted to him, and that won’t change no matter what kind of magic he uses.
I can think a little more clearly now, and now that my head isn’t fogged up with lust, I can see what Sawyer was trying to hide from me.
His fear.
“You know that I like your scars?” I whisper. “I think they make you look more… real. Less like some crazy-beautiful god that I’ll never get to have, that nobody can have. You look like a genuine person.”
Sawyer glances up at me, and I can see vulnerability in his gaze. Like he feels naked. I feel like I can see him clearly for the first time, and I wonder if he fears that he’s not enough. That he has to use his power of lust to convince people to want him, that maybe they would reject him if they weren’t going crazy with hormones.
And if that’s what he thinks—oh, man, how wrong he is.
I take his face in my hands and bring it back to me, and I kiss him.
It starts out slow. Gentle and soft. Not because I don’t have an inferno of desire burning in my belly, but because I don’t want this moment to be about that. I want it to be about showing Sawyer how much he means to me.
How much I care about him.
I want him to know I see him.
He responds instantly, his mouth moving against mine, his tongue darting out to taste mine as our lips part. I scoot a little closer to him on the couch, my hands coming up to run through his soft brown hair. When that’s no longer enough, I crawl onto his lap, my knees going on either side of his lean hips.
There’s tension in his body as I settle on top of him, and I can feel the wave of lust rising up in him. His hands land on my hips, squeezing gently as his cock stiffens beneath me. But he tamps the magical lust down, holding the inferno in check as I take my time exploring him. I draw my lips away from his, taking the opportunity to kiss his scars, his cheekbones, the bridge of his nose.
I want to touch and feel and taste every part of him.
And he’s letting me.
He’s letting me touch him in a way that’s almost more intimate than it is sexual, and I know somehow, deep in my bones, that this is hard for him.
It’s getting harder and harder for me too, honestly. Because I do want him. I’m attracted to him, in more ways than one, and it’s becoming more difficult to sit on his lap and kiss him like this without grinding down hard against his cock, trying to ease some of the ache building in my core.
He stays still, letting me push us both as far as we can take it. We kiss again, our tongues sliding together as we breathe each other in, and my hand slips under his shirt to find the flat, hard plane of his stomach.
When my fingertips move downward, Sawyer’s self-control finally seems to snap.
“Fuck, angel,” he mutters against my lips as he surges to his feet, his strong arms wrapping around me to pin me to his body.
Then he strides down the hall, never breaking our kiss.
Chapter Five
TRINITY
Sawyer keeps kissing me as he walks, and it’s distracting for both of us. I can’t quite tell where we’re going, and I hope he knows the layout of the house well enough to find a bedroom.
Or at least a room with a door. I’m not really all that picky at this point.
We keep crashing into the walls because he’s not paying close attention to where he’s walking, and when it happens for the third time, he apparently decides to stop fighting it. Instead of pulling me away from the wall to keep walking down the hallway, he just pins me up against it, grinding his hips against mine as he kisses the breath out of me.
Holy crap.
Our kisses were sweet and chaste when they started, but now it feels like we could burn the whole house down. My whole body feels like it’s on fire, my lips swollen and sensitive, and as he thrusts his hips in a rhythm that matches his tongue, I groan into his mouth.
“Bedroom,” I whimper, wishing now that I’d gotten us onto a bed before I started kissing him. I should’ve known the spark between us would turn into a raging blaze.
“Fuck,” is all he says, nipping at my bottom lip as his breath comes faster. I can feel his heart slamming against mine in his chest, and the thought that I’ve gotten Lust himself so worked up, teetering on the edge of control like this?
Well, it’s quite an ego boost, I’ll tell you that.
Not that I’m in control myself. I’m squirming against him, trying to press against the wall to get closer to him, arching my back to press my boobs against his chest as my legs tighten around his waist.
Finally, Sawyer heaves me away from the wall and staggers a few feet to the left, shoving open a door.
I have a second of giddy amusement as I realize how freaking close we were to the bedroom before Sawyer gave up and dry-humped me against the wall. Like he couldn’t wait even those few extra seconds.
The door shuts behind us, and he sets me down on my feet, his hands immediately going to the hem of my shirt. I mirror his movements, and we tussle with our clothes as we each try to get the other undressed at lightning speed.
We stumble across the room, almost tripping as we kick off our pants, and when Sawyer reaches for my panties and tugs them down over my hips, I realize he’s shaking a little.
This is so different than the man I know, so different than the casual, languid ease he always seems to project. He seems desperate and intense, almost a little nervous, and that thought revs me up just as much as his deep kiss did earlier.
He’s still tamping down his lust power,
I realize. This isn’t some magical aphrodisiac, it’s just me and him. Sawyer, raw and open and real.
We make it to the bed, which I only realize when my legs hit the edge of the mattress, and Sawyer picks me up and deposits me on the soft bedding before draping his body over mine. He settles between my legs, and I can feel the press of his hot, hard cock against my thigh.
There’s no preamble.
No long, drawn out foreplay.
He just notches his thick length at my entrance and then drives home. A noise that’s half squeak and half grunt falls from my lips as he fills me. It’s shocking, the sudden change from being empty to being so full, but it feels amazing. It feels incredible the way my body stretches to allow him in, the way my slick wetness makes it easy for him to slide inside.
I tighten my legs around his waist as he buries his face in the crook of my neck, biting and kissing my skin as he drives into me. It’s rough and hard and fast, and the bed creaks beneath us as his pace picks up even more, our bodies slapping together.
With a deep groan, he grinds his hips against mine, making my clit throb with pleasure as he pulses inside me, coming hard.
The bed stops shaking, and we lie like that for several long moments, catching our breath. He’s totally relaxed on top of me, his lean, tattooed form draped over mine. His face is still resting in the little nook where my neck and shoulder meet, and I can feel the puffs of his breath against my skin.
“Fuck,” he groans, and it’s the most satisfied sound I think I’ve ever heard in my life.
I grin up at the ceiling, hooking my ankles at his lower back and brushing my hands up and down his back. He’s got scars here too, and I can feel the texture of them beneath my fingertips.
“Believe it or not,” he says with a low chuckle, “that really never has happened to me before.”
“What?”
He lifts his head a little to look down at me. His amber eyes still burn with heat, but there’s something a little sheepish in his expression too. “I’m Lust. I’m the literal personification of sex and sensuality. I’ve never… uh, finished so fast before.”
I bite my lip to hide my smile. “You mean you’ve never come before your partner did?”
He looks irritated at himself. “No.”
“Never?”
He rolls his eyes, lifting one hand from the mattress and gesturing at himself. “Lust. Remember?”
“Well, sure.” I squeeze my inner walls around him, making his pupils flare. Then I wrap my arms around his shoulders for good measure. “But there are other reasons for having sex besides just orgasms. I mean, I know I don’t have a lot of experience, but that’s what I think, anyway. I didn’t come, but I still liked it. I liked feeling how bad you needed me.”
I bring one hand up to cup the side of his face, and he surprises me by leaning into my touch as I brush my thumb over his cheekbone. He gazes down at me, some new emotion rising up behind his beautiful amber eyes. Then he shocks me again by turning his head even more and pressing a kiss to the palm of my hand.
“I’ve never known anyone like you, Trinity,” he murmurs. “You look at the world, and all you see is the good.”
I shrug, my gaze glued to him as he kisses my palm again, sending little tingles up my arm. “No, I see the bad parts too. Or at least, I think I do.”
He looks back down at me, a smile pulling at his lips. “But you don’t let them turn you hard. You hold on to your hope, even while you try to make things better.”
“Yeah.” I shrug again. I’m not quite sure what to say, but I like the way he’s looking at me. I like the softness in his eyes, the way the heat in them mingles with tenderness.
“I was never sure I loved Valentina,” he says after a pause, and my eyebrows shoot up. That’s not what I expected him to say. I sort of figured the subject of his ex, or whatever she is, would be closed after our talk in the living room.
“You weren’t?” I whisper.
“No. I knew she loved me though, and I felt… something for her. The things I felt scared me, and I cared about her enough to know that I’d never be able to give her what she needed. I’d never be able to love her as much as she loved me.”
“I don’t think that’s true.” I shake my head, thinking of the way Sawyer is with his brothers, how he obviously loves all six of them, even if he doesn’t get all sentimental about it. “I don’t think Valentina thought so either.”
I remember what she said to him in her shop, about how the scars she left on him weren’t meant to be a curse. Was she trying to break down his armor somehow? To make him just a little more human? Enough that he might realize he could let someone in?
Sawyer purses his lips, letting out a breath as he considers my answer. He’s still buried inside me, and having this conversation while our bodies are still literally connected makes it feel even more intimate somehow.
“I don’t know,” he says finally. “And I guess I’ll never know. I don’t feel those things for her anymore. We’ve both moved on.”
A little bubble of relief rises in my chest, and I try not to let it show in my face. Maybe Sawyer sees a hint of it though, because his smile softens. He catches my hand in his, bracing his other on the mattress as he looks down at me.
“For a long time, I didn’t think I was built for love,” he says quietly. “For sex, for lust, for desire, yes. But not for love.” He presses my hand to his bare chest, right over the spot where his heart beats. “Now, though? I’m not so sure.”
Oh.
Holy crap.
I’m glad we’re feeling his heart and not mine in this moment, because if his palm was pressed to my chest, he’d feel my heart pounding a mile a minute.
Did Sawyer just tell me he might love me?
I swallow and lick my lips, trying to work up the nerve to say something. I’m not even sure what exactly I’ll say, but before I can speak, he drops his head and kisses me. It’s slow and deep, and it makes the arousal that was building up inside me come roaring back.
He slides out of me, and I feel a slick gush as his cum spills down my thigh. His amber eyes are warm and wicked as he draws back a little, hovering over me.
“Turn over, love,” he murmurs.
A little shiver of anticipation works its way down my spine, and I do as he says eagerly. I don’t know what exactly he has in mind, and there’s a certain vulnerability in lying face down like this. But I trust Sawyer completely. He may be the personification of sin, but I know he’d never hurt me.
“Fuck, you’re gorgeous.”
His palms drag down my body, following the curve of my spine before grabbing two handfuls of my ass and squeezing. I bite my lip, squirming a little against the bed, and he chuckles before grabbing a pillow and propping it under my hips. That lifts my ass in the air, tilting it up and putting me on display, and my toes curl a little as I press my cheek against the blanket, watching Sawyer out of the corner of my eye.
He takes his time just like I did earlier, exploring my body and peppering my skin with kisses. And when I’m just as close to losing control as he was, he finally slides into me again, giving me what I so desperately need.
He braces himself above me and drives into me, and I grip the covers in both hands, pressing my forehead into the mattress as sensation ricochets through my body.
When he slips one hand between me and the pillow, finding my clit with the pads of two fingers, I go off like a bomb. My back arches, my ass jiggling with every thrust of his hips as I clench hard around him.
But he doesn’t stop. The steady movement of his hips slows a little, and his fingertips find a new rhythm, sliding over my slippery clit in tight, fast circles.
“Sawyer,” I pant, “I’m gonna… come… again.”
“Fuck yeah, you are, love.” There’s a delicious note of determination in his voice, and when I follow through on my promise and come all over his cock again, he lets out a low groan.
He still doesn’t stop though. He brushes
his fingers up and down over my clit, gentling his touch just enough to let me recover, and when my hips start shifting on the pillow again, he picks up the pace, pinching my clit between two fingers as he slams into me.
“Oh, fuck,” I whisper.
It’s all I can say.
All I’m physically capable of saying.
“That’s right.” There’s amusement in Sawyer’s voice, along with a rough strain as his body tenses above mine. “That’s exactly what I’m doing to you, angel. And I love that you love it. Say it again. Scream it. And scream my name.”
As if the words alone might not be enough to make me wholeheartedly comply, his fingers become a blur on my clit, pushing the pleasure inside me over the tipping point one more time.
I convulse beneath him, clenching around him so tightly that I’d actually be worried I might hurt him—if I could still think about anything other than the sensations barreling through me.
“Fuck! Sawyer!”
Maybe it’s the sound of me cursing and screaming his name like he demanded, or maybe he just can’t hold back anymore. But with two more deep strokes, he empties himself inside me, his cock thickening and pulsing as he comes.
We’re both sweaty and breathless as he pulls out of me again. More cum drips from me, but I’m too sated and exhausted to worry about it.
Luckily, I don’t have to. Sawyer presses a warm kiss to my shoulder and then crawls off the bed. He returns from the attached bathroom a moment later and uses a damp towel to help me clean up, tossing the ruined pillow onto the floor before dropping to his back and pulling me into the crook of his arm. One of my legs flops over his as I rest my cheek against his chest, and even though I’m still basically boneless, I find the strength to smile.
“That was nice,” I murmur, in the understatement of the freaking century.
“It was.”
Sawyer brushes my dark hair away from my face, and I can hear the smile in his voice. He’s quiet for a moment, and when he speaks again, his words are a low murmur.
“I don’t know what we did to deserve you, angel. Probably nothing. But I’m glad as hell that we found you.”