by Sadie Moss
But I was so certain that angels were all good and demons were all bad. And now I’m seeing it sort of flipped around. I don’t know what to do with that. My whole existence, I’ve been taught that we’re in a war and we’re on the side of good. But how can we be if we’re not acting good ourselves? What does it all mean?
The others are all settling in, deciding who will take first watch and dividing up duties to keep us safe in this hellish city overnight. I know I should sleep, but I’m too restless to lie down yet. My body feels a bit numb. I think this is some kind of shock.
I go outside, where it’s still quiet but more wide open, and I sit down on the dirt, staring up at the smoke-filled sky, my back against the building. There’s no proper sky here. Or at least it doesn’t feel like it. I feel like I’m in a massive cave, and even though I can’t see the ceiling because the smoke obscures it, I know it’s there.
That’s the opposite of Heaven. Upstairs, we’re in the sky, looking down, and sometimes it feels like there’ll be nothing to catch you if you fall.
Someone emerges from the building. With the smoke and shadow all around, it takes me a moment to realize it’s Remi.
“Hey.” He sits down next to me, our shoulders bumping up against each other. “How’re you feeling?”
I shrug. “I’m just struggling a little, I guess. With this whole idea that maybe my brethren aren’t as all-around great as I thought they were, and that corrupted can still be good at times. I thought humans were gray. Demons and angels, black and white. Simple as that. We were the opposite ends of the spectrum. Now I don’t know.”
“Nothing in creation is all one thing or all another,” he points out, his voice soft. “Not even my brothers and me.”
“I thought you were at first too,” I confess, guilt rising up in my chest. “I was ready for you all to just be your sin and nothing else. I figured you’d all enjoy corrupting people and tempting them into doing horrible things.”
Remi snorts. “That sounds like a lot more effort than any of us are willing to put into it.”
I laugh softly, in spite of myself. Remi wraps his arm around my shoulders and I lean into his chest, sighing.
“In my experience,” he says carefully, “nobody can possibly be just one thing or another. No one can live forever in those extremes. It’s not possible. Nobody’s that simple. You can be inclined more toward one thing than another. But not even animals are just one thing. That’s not how life works. It’s what I love about humans—how they’re a mix of so many different sides. Angels and demons are influenced by humans, so how could they not have some gray areas too?” He looks at me. “Does that make any sense?”
“You sound very wise,” I admit, partially teasing him but also entirely serious.
Remi shrugs. “I’ve been around for a pretty long time. You’d hope I’d pick up on a wise thing or two.”
“I think you have.”
“I know that all of this is confusing.” He smiles. “When you first walked into my restaurant, you had such a simple conviction of knowing what you wanted. Knowing what you needed to do—what was right. It was adorable. And now I can see that you’re not sure anymore. You probably feel lost, and I’m sorry about that. But I’m not sorry I met you, or that we all got to do this together, even with all the insanity that’s come with it.”
That makes me smile and melt inside, and we kiss, soft and slow.
I really do love him, I think.
Oh.
Uh oh.
Chapter Twelve
FORD
I can’t fuckin’ sleep.
I should be sleeping, because we’ve all gotta stay in the best fighting shape we can. We need to be sharp and alert to protect the angel.
We can’t afford to fuck up. To slip up.
I can’t afford to fail someone else I love.
Fuckin’ hell. I love her.
For a long damn time, I convinced myself I hated her. That all the emotions knocking around inside my chest were because I didn’t trust her and didn’t want her around. Should’ve seen the damn truth sooner—I was fighting the truth, because that’s what I do. I fight.
Even love, I fight.
Because the truth is, I’m scared as fuck that as soon as I get attached to something, I’ll lose it. I’ve already lost my brothers once, when the rift between Ryland and Beckett blew things all to hell. And a long time ago, I lost the only other person I ever loved. Because I couldn’t keep her safe.
Beck and Ry are in the other room strategizing. Knight is on watch, and Sawyer, Remi, and Nix are asleep, as far as I know. Trin’s probably asleep too.
As I think of the little angel, an overwhelming urge rises up in me. I need to see her. I need to make sure she’s here and alive and breathing. She could’ve gotten fuckin’ killed today, and even though I saw with my own eyes that we all escaped, I still need to see.
Throwing off the ratty blanket, I slip out of the makeshift stone bed, my feet silent on the floor as I stalk to the door and throw it open. I’ll just look. Just like I did back at Beck’s place all those weeks ago when I watched her sleep in his guest room. I wasn’t sure what compelled me back then, but I sure as fuck know what compels me now.
I love her.
My jaw clenches as I move down the hall. I haven’t said those words out loud to her. Hell, I’ve barely even admitted them to myself inside my own damn head. But the thing is, it doesn’t really matter if I admit it or deny it. The way I feel about Trin infects my every action, my every decision. My life has reformed itself around a singular goal.
Keep her safe.
Always.
The door to her room is cracked open a little, as if even in sleep, she didn’t want to cut herself off from us entirely.
Good. I like that.
I push it open farther and slip inside, then close it behind me. Dim light streams through the window, which is dirty as fuck but has no curtain covering it. The Hellish moonlight is a sickly sort of gray, but even that can’t diminish Trin’s beauty.
She looks small and fragile and beautiful as she sleeps peacefully, but there’s a set to her jaw that speaks of strength too. It makes the emotions inside me thrash even more violently in my chest, and as they do, Trinity’s eyes blink open.
Did she hear my fuckin’ heart crashing against my ribs?
Can she tell how hard it’s beating?
“Ford?” she murmurs, her voice sleepy.
Shit. I shouldn’t have woken her up. But now that she’s awake, her gaze locked with mine, I can’t bring myself to turn around and leave, to let her drift back into sleep.
She’s a siren, and she’s calling to me. Everything about her calls to me, and it always will.
With a low growl, I stride across the room, coiled fury and barely leashed violence. I can’t control my own emotions right now, and no matter what else I’m feeling, wrath is always present.
But Trinity doesn’t flinch back as I stalk toward her. Instead, she opens her arms and welcomes me, shoving the covers off and throwing herself into my arms as soon as I reach the bed.
My arms band around her. I lower her back down to the bed, my body covering hers, and for a moment, I don’t worry about my weight being too much for her. I need to feel the press of our bodies, and from the way her legs go around me, I think maybe she does too.
I could stay like this for-fuckin’-ever, but I don’t want to crush her, so I lift up onto my forearms, gazing down at her in the darkness.
And then, like someone turned a damn faucet on, words start pourin’ out of me.
“I lost someone once, angel. And I’ll never forgive myself.” I bury my face in her neck as I speak, breathing her in, reminding myself I haven’t lost her yet. “The only damn woman I ever loved until I met you.”
She inhales sharply, and I know she just heard what I admitted without so many words. “Ford… I…”
I don’t know if she’s about to tell me she loves me too or about to give me a brush-o
ff, but I don’t think I’m ready to hear either. So I forge ahead.
“She was Roman, a woman named Cassia. I met her when I was fighting as a gladiator. She was supernatural, a shifter. Not immortal like me, but blessed with a long, long life. We should’ve had at least a hundred years together. Instead, we only had one. She was attacked one night on her way to meet me. I heard her screaming in the street and I ran out, but by the time I got there…” My jaw clenches, old fury rising up in me like poison. “By the time I got there, it was too late. She was dead. Killed for the contents of her purse.”
I draw back, gazing down into Trinity’s sad brown eyes. I want her to see my face, to know the monster inside me as I speak.
“I killed every one of her attackers. I tore them to shreds until the street ran red with blood and there was nothing left but unrecognizable pieces. And then I went looking for more. Others who would attack people like her. I wanted her back. I wanted to bring her back to life, and since I couldn’t do that, I brought death instead. To as many as I could.”
My muscles have gone rigid as rage pours through me. Even now, I can remember every moment of that night in vivid detail. Of course I can. I’ve nursed the memories, tending to them like a fuckin’ garden, keeping them alive even when time should’ve made them begin to wilt.
My nostrils flare, and I lift my head to stare down at Trin with something almost like a challenge in my eyes. This isn’t what I came in here to do, but this fuckin’ woman gets so deep under my skin that she pulled my deepest secret out without even tryin’ to.
And now she’s gonna hate me for it.
Now she’s gonna look at me with revulsion and fear.
I fuckin’ asked for it, I guess, with the story I just told her. But I can’t help the bitter anger that fills my veins at the idea of Trinity hating me.
“Oh, Ford.” She swallows, and the action makes the muscles in her throat work. Her eyes are shadowed, but I can feel her gaze on my face. Then she lifts a hand to cup the side of my face, her fingers soft and warm on my jaw. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
My heart stops.
For once, the furious beat in my chest calms, leaving nothing but the whispered breaths that stir the air between Trin and me.
She’s not looking at me like she hates me.
She’s looking at me in a way that hits a raw nerve inside me—only instead of hurting, the look in her eyes makes my pulse go crazy for another reason entirely.
I move fast, the same way I do when I’m fighting, dropping my head to kiss her as heat flares between us like an inferno. Like almost everything I do, things ramp up from zero to one hundred between us in the space of a few short seconds, and I grind against her as need surges inside me.
But she doesn’t shrink back from the violence of my need. Instead, her tongue meets mine stroke for stroke, sucking and licking as our teeth clash.
This is why she’s so fuckin’ perfect for me.
Because she’s soft to my hard, but she’s got a hardness of her own too. She’s sweet and gentle, but she’s not as fragile as she looks.
She’s strong as hell.
Fierce as fuck.
She doesn’t just withstand the brutal need inside me—she matches it.
Her hips are moving against mine, her heels digging into my ass as she tries to smash our bodies closer together.
“Fuck,” I grunt.
I roll my hips against hers a few more times, then pull back quickly, tugging her shirt off as I do. I pull my own clothes off in a rush before finishing up with hers, and when I’ve got us both naked, I roll over and lie back on the bed.
She makes a move to climb on top of me, and as much as I fuckin’ love her aggression, there’s somethin’ else I want right now.
“Uh uh, sweetheart. Turn around.” I slap her ass lightly, making her yelp. I can smell the burst of arousal that follows, and I grin into the darkness. She liked that.
“Turn around?” she pants, and the note of confusion in her voice makes my balls tighten. I don’t think she’s ever done this before, and I can’t fuckin’ wait to be her first.
“Sit on my face,” I clarify, loving the way she draws in a sharp breath at my words. “Sit on my face and then put your mouth on my cock.”
“Oh. Oh!”
Her words are a breathy whisper, and a second later, she scrambles to comply. She mutters under her breath as she clambers awkwardly into position, and I help her, loving every fuckin’ minute of this.
She might be new to this, but she’s enthusiastic as fuck, and I plan to make sure she loves this.
When she’s settled over my face with her knees on either side of my head, I grip her thighs, holding them wide open as I run my tongue up the length of her slit. She’s soaked already, and she tastes so damn sweet I can’t resist licking her again, and again.
She moans, and her upper body drapes over mine. I keep licking and suckling at her folds, teasing her clit with my tongue as she wraps her small fist around the base of my shaft, holding me in position. When her lips wrap around my cock head, I just about blow inside her mouth.
It’s too fucking good. The taste of her alone is enough to have me on edge, but as she begins to tentatively bob her head, I grunt against her pussy, driving my tongue inside her.
She makes a strangled noise in her throat, falling out of rhythm as she pants around my cock. I can tell she’s having a hard time focusing, and I make it my goal to distract her as much as possible.
My tongue lashes back and forth over her clit in harsh strokes, and she cries out. The vibrations of the sound travel down my dick all the way to my balls, and I thrust up into her mouth before I can stop myself. Her hand tightens on my thigh, her fingernails digging into my skin as her other hand grips my cock harder.
Fuck, I’m not gonna last long.
But she’s gonna come on my face before a single drop of my cum hits her tongue.
I yank her body down against mine, lapping at her like my life fuckin’ depends on it. She’s shaking on top of me, groaning around my cock, and I think that’s my new favorite sound in the world.
“You want more, angel?” I mutter against her heated flesh, my lips wet from her arousal. “Can you take more?”
I’m not even sure she can hear me with my face buried between her legs like this. But whether she hears me or not, she shows me exactly what she needs, rolling her hips and grinding against me as she rides my face.
My cock is hard as steel. It’s obvious she hasn’t had a lot of practice, but it doesn’t fuckin’ matter. Her lips wrapped around me are pure perfection. My body goes tense as I hold myself back from fucking her face, not wanting to hurt her or scare her.
It takes every scrap of my willpower to keep my baser animal instincts in check, and I take it all out on her pussy instead, licking and sucking and nipping at her clit until she’s writhing on top of me.
But I still want more. I want every fuckin’ thing she has to give.
Shifting my grip on her, I release one of her thighs and bring my hand up to her ass instead, squeezing one of the perfect, round cheeks before slipping my hand between them. When I press against the tightness of her back hole, I feel her whole body react, and her cream wets my tongue as she lets out a ragged moan.
Shit. Fuckin’ hell. I want to hear that again.
My finger slips farther inside, and she arches her back a little, urging me on.
“Yes. That’s it, angel. Come for me. Come. Right now.”
I thrust my tongue into her pussy at the same moment I slide my finger in deeper, and she gives a muffled scream around my cock as her whole body jerks and shakes.
That’s all I can fuckin’ take.
“I’m gonna come,” I grunt in between furious swipes of my tongue, tryin’ to warn her. I hope like fuck she hears me, but she doesn’t stop what she’s doin’.
Instead, she keeps working her lips desperately up and down my cock. Drool and precum coat my shaft, and her movements are slo
ppy and uncoordinated as the orgasm tears through her. But it’s still one of the best damn things I’ve ever felt.
I explode in her mouth, jet after jet of my cum hitting the back of her throat. She swallows some, and some of it dribbles back down my shaft as we both shudder and shake like we just got electrocuted.
It takes a bit for me to feel like I can move again, and I’m still breathing hard as I slowly drag my finger from her back hole and give her delicious pussy one last kiss. Then I lift her easily, scooting us both up on the bed a little before pulling her back into my arms with her head tucked against my chest.
She looks up at me, her gorgeous eyes glinting, a sheen of sweat making her skin look like it’s glowing in the dim light. “That was dirty, Wrath.”
I grin at the breathless glee in her voice. “Did you like it?”
She nods, biting her bottom lip.
I tilt her chin up a little and kiss her, letting her taste herself on my tongue just like I can taste myself on hers. When I pull back, I keep my grip on her chin. “Maybe someday I’ll fuck you in that hole. Would you like that?”
Her eyes fly wide, and if it wasn’t for my fingers on her jaw, I think her mouth would be hanging open. Then she swallows, seeming to think about it. Her eyes darken—not with fear, but with desire.
“Yes,” she whispers.
“Fuckin’ hell, angel.” My cock twitches, and I chuckle as I draw her tighter against my chest. “You’re gonna kill me.”
I can feel her smile against my skin as she presses a kiss to my pec. “Never.”
She’s so sweet and so damn dirty at the same time.
She’s fuckin’ perfect.
And she’s mine.
Ours.
I’ll protect her with everything I have in me, and I won’t let anything hurt her.
I can be a monster sometimes, I know that. I’m the living personification of wrath.
But sometimes it takes a monster to keep a precious thing safe.
Chapter Thirteen
TRINITY