Alice stepped forward. “We would never ask you to do something you weren’t comfortable with. If you don’t think it’s safe to help Maggie with compulsion, then we trust your decision. It hadn’t even been something that crossed our minds until Evander said it. But he’s right about one thing. You need to face whatever is inside you now, before we leave the island.”
Nodding, I lowered my head. I knew they were right, but it didn’t make it any easier. We had too many problems coming at us, and I didn’t know how to handle all of them together. Prime could be coming for us any day, and we didn’t have enough hunters on the island to stand a chance against him. Furthermore, we had no weapon to kill him with, even if we had the numbers to fight his army.
The need to find the Sea Witch and the Obsidian Caves continued to frustrate me, and now we had to figure out what the blood of the sea was. The swirling darkness could sense my imminent breakdown and was taking advantage of me being so overwhelmed.
Jameson proceeded to explain to them what we found in the journals and where we were headed. He asked if they wanted to join us, but they were unable.
“We’re going to go check on the children and bring them food. Let us know when you need us.” Henry grabbed Alice’s hand while she offered me a smile.
Once they were gone, Jameson pulled me from the dining area and led me outside. When the sun reached me, I sucked in a deep breath, letting the warm rays soothe the anxiety racing through me. We kept walking to the beach and took a seat in the sand, just out of reach from the shallow waves.
“Talk to me,” Jameson whispered as he grabbed my hand.
Running my free hand through my hair, I took another deep breath to steady myself before beginning. If I had any chance of moving forward, I needed to talk about my issues, and I had done a terrible job of it as of late. It was time to face who I really was.
“My vampire side is growing. You’ve seen me getting faster and physically stronger, but there are other changes I haven’t told you about yet.”
“Whatever it is, we can handle it together.”
Pulling my hand from his touch, I wrapped my arms around my knees and stared out into the open sea. “That other side of me has taken on its own thoughts, constantly urging me to do more with my powers, but I don’t know how to tell if it’s good or bad. When I used the compulsion on Evander, I was a completely different person for a short time, because you were missing. I didn’t care about anything other than getting you back and killing Prime. I was dangerous. I’m afraid if I use it again, I won’t be able to find my way back to who I am.”
“People are constantly changing, and that’s not always a bad thing. You don’t have to be afraid of change, Lavinia. It is to be expected. And it’s not always going to be easy, but we will get through it together. Unfortunately, you’re not like most vampires, and your journey is going to be harder than others, but I know you can handle it.”
I hesitated on the next part. There was one other thing I had to tell him, something I had yet to even acknowledge myself, but he should know in case I lost control. I needed to be certain that someone would keep others around me safe if I could no longer be trusted.
“Blood has called to me lately,” I murmured, ashamed.
Jameson lifted my head toward his with a grin on his face. “Don’t sound so mortified. There’s nothing wrong with the cravings. I actually expected it to happen sooner. We can get you animal blood.”
He didn’t understand what I meant. I had been around Jameson when he drank his animal blood and it repulsed me. The blood that called to me was that of my friends. Human blood.
Using my eyes, I pleaded with him to understand my thoughts without me having to express them with words, but he didn’t, and it forced me to admit something I didn’t want.
“I don’t know that I want to drink animal blood.”
“Oh,” was all he said.
I tucked my head into my knees, so I didn’t have to see the disappointment in his eyes. Tears streaked down my cheeks as I silently cried over my inability to be normal. I couldn’t even be a regular vampire.
I was different.
Broken.
“Lavinia, look at me,” Jameson demanded, but I refused.
His hands sneaked under my chin, forcing my face up, and he used his thumbs to wipe the tears from my cheeks. “There is nothing wrong with you. I told you earlier about bonding with my dagger, but I only skimmed over the time before I found you. There was a reason I was alone. I didn’t trust myself around the others. The animal blood is definitely an acquired taste, but one I know you can handle, especially if we mix it with something else your first time.”
I felt awful that his previous suffering made me feel better, but I couldn’t deny that it did. “Thank you for sharing that. It means a lot.”
“There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you, Lavinia. You just have to let me know what you need, so I can help you. Don’t let the darkness steal your light. I can see what it’s doing to you, and you have to fight it.”
I nodded. “I’m sorry I didn’t say something sooner. I thought it would just go away.”
“There’s a lot I didn’t tell you at first, either, so I understand.”
We sat there silently while I focused on all of my admissions, as well as the darkness within. It was calmer now that I wasn’t carrying all my burdens on my own, and I wished I had voiced my concerns sooner.
Nathan came to find us a short time later; his presence worried me, along with the racing of his heart—I could hear it even from the distance between us.
“What’s wrong?” Jameson asked.
“Alice and Henry were telling me about what you found in the books, and Lavinia’s theory to find the blood of the sea instead. We didn’t know he was listening.”
Evander. That could be the only person in the house who would cause Nathan such disdain. For some reason, we hadn’t been able to convince Nathan that Evander was no longer loyal to Prime. Some days, I had to remind myself as well, so I couldn’t blame Nathan for his reservations.
“What did he say?” Jameson asked.
“He’s refusing to say anything more. He said he needed to only speak with Lavinia but was smart enough not to interrupt your time with Jameson, so I came. As much as I despise him, he seemed pretty certain he knew something that could help us.”
I had no doubt. Evander had seen a lot in his time as a vampire, and even though he had been difficult, he had also helped us more than acted against us since we met him.
“Well, let’s go see what he has to say.” I stood up from the sand, shaking out my dress as Jameson brushed off his trousers.
Hurriedly, we followed Nathan back into the house, and no words were spoken between the three of us. This had been the most stressful day off in the weeks since we had been on the island, and it was making me wish for the physical ache of training instead of all the anxiety I was currently experiencing.
When we entered the house, Alice and Henry were nowhere to be seen, and very few hunters were found. Most people kept to their quarters on rest days; they were much smarter than we had been this morning when we answered Nathan’s knock on our door.
“Evander is waiting for you in his room,” Nathan informed. “He said he only wanted to speak with Lavinia.”
Jameson tensed beside me, waiting to see if I would agree, and I appreciated that he didn’t automatically disagree with Evander’s request. He knew if I wanted to comply that I could handle myself, but I was a stubborn woman and Evander would not get his request.
“He’s going to be disappointed, then.” I pulled Jameson along the hallway and toward the stairs. Evander’s room was on the third level of the house—farther away from the other hunters. He was a bit of a recluse, only seeming to appear at the most inconvenient of times.
Just as I was about to knock on his door, he pulled it open. “Did Nathan not pass along my wishes?”
“He did, and I ignored them. Is that a problem?”
Evander eyed Jameson for a moment, then returned his eyes to me. “No, it’s not. Come in.” He closed the door behind us, and we took a seat at the small table in the center of his quarters.
“What do you know about the blood of the sea?” Jameson asked, but Evander’s eyes remained on me.
“You need to unlock your vampire side before I tell you what I know. I need to know you’re willing to do what it takes to defeat Prime.”
“Have you not seen me training every day? I’m full vampire whether I like it or not.” I crossed my arms, irritated that he would question me.
“No, you’re holding back, and I can sense it. I was connected to you when you were at your strongest thus far, and I know you can do better than you’ve done since we arrived here.” Evander’s voice remained calm, but insistent.
“What do you want from me?” I asked.
“If you can successfully use your compulsion on Maggie, then I’ll tell you where to find the blood of the sea.”
Chapter Four
I had never wanted to punch someone more than I did when those words left Evander’s mouth. He didn’t understand what he was asking of me. Nobody did. It wasn’t fair to play with a child’s life, especially when we weren’t absolutely certain it was the right choice.
“I know you think I’m being unreasonable, but you need to be pushed,” Evander explained, leaning closer and looking down on me. “I have every reason to want to see you succeed. Do you think Prime will take me back if you lose? No, he’ll kill me the second he sees me. I need you to do better than you have been.”
His green eyes were almost pleading, yet remained serious, and I watched as bits of red entered the irises. His emotions were all over the place, and I fought to keep mine from rising to match them. This was a battle of wills, and deep down, the darkness stirred as I fought for control over the situation.
“Why does me exploring compulsion mean so much to you?” I asked him the question that everyone was thinking. He had become obsessed with my ability, and it was getting aggravating.
“Why does exploring your abilities make you so uncomfortable?” he countered, more red bleeding into his eyes.
Glaring at him, I refused to answer. He had no right to pry into my personal life like he was.
Evander continued to prod me, moving closer and pressuring me for an answer. My anger and frustration had finally hit the tipping point, and the words left my mouth before I could stop them. It had been either screaming at him or hitting him. He was lucky I chose the former.
“Because I’m afraid I’ll lose myself! Does that make you feel better?” I yelled in his face before standing from the table and stalking to the corner of the room. My hands flexed and unflexed as I tried to calm. “This ability is connected to something dark inside me, and it wants me to use it. It wants me to explore everything it can offer, but I can’t. I can’t let it take over me.”
“You shouldn’t fear it,” he added, with more compassion than I expected after all his pushing.
Jerking my head up, I found him looking at the floor while his hands clenched just like mine had. “What do you mean?”
“You shouldn’t fear the darkness inside. You view it as something bad… but it’s not.” He sighed before glancing up at me again—his eyes were back to their emerald-green color. “You view vampires as evil, and most of us are, but the venom coursing through all of our veins started out as a gift from the Sea Witch. We got lost along the way, yet there is a chance to make everything right again. All of your training shall serve you well when we face Prime, but it isn’t going to give you the answers you seek. Neither will any of those books you have been searching through.”
“And where do you suggest we get these answers from? From you?” Jameson asked before I could.
“I don’t have them all, but I do have some. Though, I stand by my decision not to share them until Lavinia accepts what she is. Until then, there isn’t any point.”
Annoyed with his cryptic response, I huffed and started pacing the floor. The two men in the room remained still while I worked through everything.
The more I paced, the more Evander’s words began to resonate with me. I hated to admit it, but what he said was starting to make sense in a strange way. I wasn’t human anymore. I was far more than that now, but the darkness inside still terrified me, even if I half-agreed with him.
Understanding eyes watched me as I took a seat in the settee. Before I agreed or refused anything, I really needed to think about the facts I knew without a doubt. Evander was right, I did believe vampires were bad, but I knew not all of them were. Jameson and Solomon were proof of that. Even Evander had his moments, though they were mostly selfish.
Was it possible that whatever was swirling within me wasn’t trying to destroy me but make me stronger, and I was just too stubborn and afraid to let it? I had thought the shadows threatened to overthrow everything that I was, but maybe it was the answer to becoming everything I needed to be. Just because some vampires were evil, didn’t mean I would be if I fully embraced who I was.
The choice was mine.
I didn’t have to become a monster.
That last thought gave me pause, and I leaned my head back, staring at the ceiling. What was a monster? Prime was one, with absolutely no regard for human life. Yet, I was the exact opposite of everything that Prime stood for, and I knew I could never be like that. I was more human than any vampire in existence. I may have turned into one, but my humanity was still intact. Although there was darkness within me now, I could either let the fear of it rule me, or I could confront it and bend it to my will.
Curse that strange vampire pirate for actually making sense.
“I’ll do it.” I stood, turning to face them. “In the morning, I’ll try the compulsion on Maggie.”
They had identical looks of surprise on their faces, but I ignored them. Instead, I strode to the door and opened it, gesturing for Jameson to follow with a head nod. Without hesitation, he made his way toward me. Once we stepped out of the room, he grasped my hand, offering support, but waited for me to open up when I was ready.
We made it back to our room in absolute silence. Even though I was still conflicted, deep down I felt that I had made the right decision by agreeing to Evander’s terms. I would do anything to help Maggie be a normal child again, even if it meant exploring a side of me that I’d rather leave buried. Getting answers about how to find the Sea Witch would just be a bonus if everything else worked.
There was nothing we could do about it until the morning. Instead, I planned to spend the rest of our supposed day off with Jameson.
A soft click announced that Jameson had shut the door behind us, and I turned to him just as he faced me. Leaning back against the door, he crossed his arms over his chest and stared at me. The white linen shirt he wore fit him almost too well. His rolled-up sleeves emphasized his arm muscles, and I watched as they bunched and flexed with each movement he made.
It may have been because my emotions were erratic, but suddenly, everything I felt for him rushed to the surface, erasing the troubles I had to face until there was only him. Jameson’s blue eyes sparked in response, with such intensity that I felt everything in me tighten as heat washed over my body.
Without any hesitation, we lunged toward each other. His hands wrapped around my waist, and he lifted me effortlessly against him. Our mouths clashed in a kiss that was filled with heat, and my arms clamped around his neck. Eager teeth scraped against my lip, and a moan slipped out of me—a sound that I had never before made.
Jameson lifted me higher so that I was level with his lips. My legs wrapped around him of their own volition, and he took the invitation to press closer. This was the most passionate we had ever been, and nothing had ever felt better.
A hand drifted up my side, then stopped just shy of my ribs. His other hand found its way to the nape of my neck, urgent fingers pressing against my scalp, making me groan against his lips.
&nb
sp; We had never expressed this much passion with no end in sight before, and I never wanted the moment to end. If it did, that meant we needed to return to our reality, and I was not ready to face any of what I had just agreed to do. I was perfectly happy kissing Jameson while ignoring all of our problems. In that moment, it was just the two of us and nothing else mattered.
Though, all good things came to an end. Soon after I pushed our reality aside to enjoy Jameson’s lips on my neck, he slowed his attention on the sensitive spot. I groaned, hating that he was pulling back when I didn’t want to stop. The normal fear I felt when we were intimate was nowhere to be found, and I had wanted nothing more than to take advantage of that.
He chuckled against my lips, kissing me gently and making his way across my cheek, then back to my neck as my emotions calmed.
When my breathing was back to normal, he rested his face against my shoulder and took a deep breath. I played with his hair as he remained pressed against me, and we both returned to reality.
“Are you upset about what happened earlier?” I asked, referencing the talk with Evander.
He shook his head while letting out a heavy sigh. “I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. You are a force. No one should stand in your way, and that’s exactly why I’m not doing so now. You can do anything you set your mind to, and if you think Evander is right, I trust you.”
“Thank you for always supporting me. I love you,” I answered, feeling tears well in my eyes.
“I love you, too,” he replied, placing his lips to mine once more before letting me slide down the door until my feet found the floor. “Now, as much as I would love to continue what we were doing a moment ago, we have somewhere to be.”
“Where?” I asked, feeling a smile spread across my face at his playful behavior.
“We have dinner plans.”
“Dinner plans?”
“Yes, and we’re supposed to meet them at sunset, meaning we need to hurry or we’ll be late.”
Obsidian Horizon Page 3