by M. S. Parker
I'd have given up all of it just to have her. But that would never happen. Could never happen.
I looked up at the apartment building where Mrs. Prinz lived, where Nori and I had made love last night.
It could never happen.
Could it?
I leaned forward and asked the driver if he could help me.
Chapter Eleven
Nori
It turned out that getting my parents to agree to share the same apartment was actually the easiest thing I did all day. Telling X that we couldn't be together was the hardest. Everything else was somewhere in-between.
It'd taken nearly three hours to finally get all of the discharge stuff done, and I'd used that time to contact a home health-care company that was actually open on a Sunday afternoon. She'd met us at the apartment and helped me get my parents settled in, then stayed with them while I went out to get all the things we apparently needed.
And that was how I found myself back at my mom's apartment, standing in the middle of the living room, trying to figure out what the hell I was going to do. I mean, I knew what I was here to do. I had the list my mom dictated to me of everything she'd need until she could get back to her own place. A part of me was surprised that Mom hadn't insisted on Dad moving in here, but I couldn't deny that another part of me wasn't surprised at all. Aside from his place being bigger, she'd never gotten over him, and he had stayed in our family's old apartment. Maybe she thought that being there together again, all three of us, could change things.
I wasn't holding out hope, but I supposed anything was possible.
I sighed and yanked out my hair tie. I'd had a headache since I left the hospital, and the medicine I'd taken back at Dad's hadn't even taken the edge off. I had a bad feeling I was going to spend the next couple months with pretty much a constant headache. My parents had managed not to fight for nearly an entire day, and that was longer than they'd gone since before Logan died. I wasn't planning on that being the norm though. The next few months of my life were going to be full of arguments and all of the uncomfortable shit that I'd left Texas to get away from.
And all I wanted was to go back to Philadelphia with X.
I swallowed hard and closed my eyes against the tears burning in them. I'd worked really hard not to give into all of the disappointment and heartache that had come with my decision. Staying busy had made that possible, and I'd thought I would keep being busy until tonight when I finally collapsed in my old bedroom and cried myself to sleep.
I hadn't thought that once I stepped foot back in the apartment, I'd be overwhelmed by memories. I'd had those few perfect hours with X, thinking we'd have a future together. I hadn't known what that future would be, but now I knew that whatever it could've been was gone.
I took a slow shaky breath and rubbed the heels of my hands against my eyelids. I needed to get the things on my mother's list and get back to the apartment. The nurse was already planning to stay tonight so I could go into tomorrow with a decent night's sleep, but I still didn't want to leave her home alone with my parents longer than necessary.
That would just be cruel.
I headed back into my mother's room and went into her closet. It was tiny, packed with dress clothes that she didn't need. On the floor, however, was her suitcase. I put it on the bed and went to her dresser. I forced myself to think about finding each item on her list. Comfortable pants and t-shirts. Nightgowns. Undergarments. Then into the bathroom for toiletries.
I didn't blame her there. Dad pretty much only bought the cheapest stuff he could find. He didn't care about quality, just that he was clean, and I was pretty sure that was only because he'd get in trouble at work if he went in smelling like a distillery.
I packed up what she'd asked for and then checked my list again. I was almost done, but I was starting to wish that I had more to do. I didn't want to go back, but it was better than the alternative – staying here and having to think about what I'd given up. At some point, I knew I'd have to go there, but I didn't want it to be now.
Suddenly, I realized that someone was knocking on the door. I sighed as I headed for the living room. I really hoped it wasn't the neighbor across the hall. Candace Wilder was the nosiest person I'd ever met, and the most obnoxious. Every time I happened to see her, she'd start asking me way too many personal questions, usually about my love life. And considering the noise we'd made last night...
That was definitely the last thing I wanted to talk about right now.
Except when I opened the door, it wasn't Candace Wilder on the other side. In fact, it wasn't any of my mother's neighbors.
It was X.
I stared, not quite believing that it was him. Why was he here? What did he want? For a few wild seconds, I almost hoped that he'd come back for me, but then I remembered that he'd left his bag here when we left this morning, and all that hope came crashing down. He just wanted his things.
“Come in,” I said dully.
I walked over to the couch, then realized where I was standing and flushed. I’d have to find some way to convince my mom to get rid of it and get a new one. I'd never be able to sit on it again without thinking about X and what we'd done.
“Your bag's where you left it.” I folded my arms and tried not to look at him.
“Nori,” he said softly.
I still didn't look at him. “No need to make a big deal about it, X.” I waited to hear him walk away, hear him get his things and leave.
Except he didn't.
Instead, I saw him out of the corner of my eye moving toward me. Then I could feel him, not just the heat of his body but that sense of hyper awareness I had with him.
“Look at me.”
His tone wasn't rough, but there wasn't any gentleness in his words either. They were a command, no doubt about it, and the Sub inside me had already started obeying before I'd thought it through. Then my eyes met his, and I couldn't look away.
“I went to the warehouse,” he said.
My eyes widened. He'd gone back there? To the place where he'd been hurt so badly? I knew he had nightmares about it, that he suffered from post-traumatic stress. Sometimes, people had to face the thing that scared them, that hurt them.
“I tried going to the base first, but then I realized that wasn't where I wanted to be.”
“And you wanted to be at the warehouse?” I was confused. I didn't understand why he was telling me this.
“No.” He shook his head. “That's what I realized at the warehouse. I didn't want to be there, or anywhere else that wasn't where you were.”
I swallowed hard. I wanted to believe him so badly, wanted to believe that it could mean we could be together, but there was just too much in the way.
“I know you said you had to stay here to take care of your parents, that you didn't know when, or if, you'd ever go back to Philadelphia.”
I nodded. All of that was true.
Even if I didn't want it to be.
Then he did the last thing in the world I thought he'd do. In fact, if he'd started doing a tap dance, I wouldn't have been less shocked.
Okay, maybe a little.
He went down on one knee.
X was down on one fucking knee in the middle of my mother's living room.
What the hell was he doing?
“I don't care if you're going to be in Philadelphia, San Antonio, or the fucking moon.” He dug into his pocket and pulled out a small, square box.
Oh shit.
“I want to be with you, Nori, no matter where you are. I don't care where I live, as long as you're mine.”
I couldn't breathe or think or do anything I was supposed to be doing. This couldn't be happening.
Could it?
“I know our relationship has been...strange,” he continued. “Not a typical sort of thing.”
He could say that again.
“But I can say now what I've been too afraid to say.” His expression was serious. “I love you, Nori, and I want to spend the res
t of my life with you. Will you marry me?”
Oh shit.
Oh shit.
Oh shit.
I was dreaming, right? There wasn't any way this could really be happening. X couldn't be proposing to me after I'd basically told him that we couldn't be together. It didn't make any sense. Whenever we'd gotten close, he'd pushed me away, said something hurtful.
Except...earlier today, he hadn't done that. He'd accepted my decision.
“Nori?”
It wasn't until he said my name that I realized I hadn't given him an answer.
“Do I have permission to touch you?” I asked softly.
He looked puzzled but nodded. I reached out and cupped his face, watching his eyes light up as he realized I wasn't turning him down. I bent my head and brushed my mouth across his.
“Yes,” I whispered, my face still close to his. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you too.”
It was his turn to stare at me, and I wondered what he was thinking. Had he not expected that answer?
Then he was reaching for me, pulling me down to my knees, and I knew everything would be okay. His mouth covered mine, devouring, greedy. He buried his fingers in my hair, and I made a sound that was half pleasure, half pain. I leaned into him, needing to feel his hard body against mine.
“Need you,” he growled as his hands tugged at my shorts. “Now.”
I nodded, my own desire just as desperate. It still felt too much like a dream. I needed to feel him inside me, needed him to make it real.
“Turn around.” His voice was hoarse. “Hands and knees.”
Fuck.
I did as he said, and by the time my palms were on the cheap, scratchy carpet, X was yanking my pants down over my ass. He didn't bother with my panties. Instead, I heard his zipper, then felt him pull the crotch of my underwear to the side. I gasped when he nudged at my entrance.
“This will be fast,” he said. His fingers dug into my hip. “Can you handle it?”
“Please.” I pushed back against him and the tip of him slid inside me. I moaned. “Please, X.”
His name turned into a scream as he snapped his hips forward, burying himself inside me. I was too tight, and not even close to wet enough.
He curled his body over mine, scraped his teeth over my neck. A shudder ran through me, and he groaned. The sound made me shiver, drawing another noise from him.
“I need to move,” he muttered.
I nodded, unable to manage any words, any sounds. My arms were shaking, my body on fire. Every inch of me was intimately aware of the man above me, behind me.
Inside me.
His first thrust made me whimper. The second drew a strangled cry. After that, I lost count, lost myself. He filled me over and over, drove the air from my lungs even as I tried to scream. The hand on my hip slid around and under, fingers moving over my clit until I was sobbing for release.
“Come for me, Nori.” He wrapped my hair around his hand. “Come on, baby. Come for me.”
He pulled hard on my hair, my back slamming into his chest. His teeth bit down on my neck, and I shattered.
Except I didn't shatter alone. He was there, my climax bringing his. And we weren't two people having separate orgasms. We were one. Complete. Whole.
“Mine.” X's arms tightened around me as he lowered us both to the floor.
I nodded. “Yours.” I sighed as I settled against him. “But once we can move again, I'd like to see my ring.”
Chapter Twelve
Xavier
June in San Antonio, Texas, was fucking hot, I thought as I walked back up the driveway. Not quite as hot as it was in July, and definitely not as hot as it was during the day, but still enough so that I breathed a sigh of relief when I opened the door and stepped into the air conditioning.
It'd been nearly a year since Nori and I had moved from Philadelphia to San Antonio, and I didn't miss it at all. I missed Father O'Toole, of course, but I'd always miss him. Especially at times like this. I didn't miss the city though, or even the house. I knew it was being put to good use as a shelter for homeless veterans. The Doron O'Toole House. I knew the father had never been big on recognition, but I figured he'd have understood this one.
Nori and I had only gone back to Philly once since our engagement. The day of Father O'Toole's funeral, we'd flown back, taken care of all of the legal stuff, and then returned to Texas. Tanner had lent us his private jet for the trip.
I had to admit, I actually did like the guy. I really thought I'd hate him, knowing about his history with the woman I loved, but he was such a great guy that it was nearly impossible to hate him. Hell, I couldn't even really dislike him.
He'd be there tomorrow, at the wedding, as one of the witnesses. Since Nori and I's circle of friends and family was small, we were going with a non-traditional ceremony. Tanner and Zed would be the witnesses, and the only other guests aside from my soon-to-be in-laws.
At least they were getting along better since the accident. Nori had ended up essentially forcing them into therapy, and it'd done them a lot of good. Even though neither of them had said anything, I suspected they were sleeping together sometimes. I didn't know if they'd ever get back together officially, but I was just happy that I didn't have to worry about them ruining the wedding.
It was funny, I thought as I set the front door alarm. Nori and I could've afforded the most extravagant wedding anyone could've wanted. Once the father's assets had been liquidated – excluding the house and its trust – I'd ended up with a little more than what the lawyer had predicted. Neither Nori nor I, however, were the sort of people who wanted to flaunt or spend money.
Once her parents had been able to take care of themselves, we'd bought this house just outside of the city. Sensible, but new cars. Taken care of her parents. We'd also put money toward education. Both of us were currently taking classes to become psychologists. Our goal was to have a joint practice where I would work with members of the military and law enforcement while Nori worked with the families. It was still a few years off, but we both knew this was what we were supposed to do.
Tanner had ended up being a big help with that too. He'd steered me toward good investments, told me who I could trust. With his help, Nori and I wouldn't just be set for life, we'd be able to do some serious good for others like me and her brother.
Father O'Toole would've been proud.
I pushed thoughts of the father out of my mind as I walked up the stairs. There was only one person I wanted to focus on right now.
I opened the bedroom door and took a moment to admire my handiwork. Before I'd gone downstairs, I'd gotten Nori all settled into bed. She was completely naked, every inch of her glorious body on display. I'd put her hair in a braid so it wouldn't catch on the restraints around her wrists or the blindfold I'd used to cover her eyes. Her arms were stretched above her head, tied to the headboard with only enough give to keep her from being hurt. Her legs were spread wide, ankles tied to the posts at the foot of the bed. I rarely restrained her legs, but the moment I'd seen that she'd shaved her pussy for tomorrow, I'd known that I needed to see it like this.
“X?” Her voice had a slight edge to it. The chance of someone else coming into our room – however slim – existed, and it was that anticipation I heard.
“Right here, baby,” I said as I walked toward the bed.
As soon as I spoke, her body relaxed, then tensed again, shifting from anxious to eager. In the time we'd been together, I'd thought my appetite for her would lessen, that the two of us would become used to the other and we'd settle into something more...traditional. That hadn't been the case though. Nearly a year, and I still couldn't keep my hands off her, and she was the same way. She wasn't one of those people who tolerated sex for the sake of her partner, or who even wanted it only after a lot of foreplay. She was insatiable. We'd fucked and made love in crazy places, quickies and long, drawn-out bouts. And I knew it wasn't going to stop just because we got married.
“You're wet,” I said as I stripped off my clothes. I could see her skin glistening, and blood rushed south. I'd already been half-hard from getting her situated, but now I was fully erect, desperate to be buried deep inside her.
“Yes,” she said. She squirmed, her full breasts jiggling with the movement.
Damn.
I knelt between her legs on the bed. We'd considered spending the night apart, even abstaining from sex for the week leading up to our wedding, but in the end, we'd admitted that neither one of us really cared about that. We didn't want to be apart.
I ran my fingers along her calves, and up her thighs, keeping my eyes on her face. I loved watching her react to my touch. There were still times, out in public, where I felt self-conscious about my scars, but with her, it was never an issue. She never saw me as anything other than whole, even when I still sometimes fought to be that way. Falling in love with her had given me the strength and desire to get better, but it didn't mean I was magically cured.
When I was with her like this, though, nothing else existed except the two of us.
I stretched out, reminded again how grateful I was that Nori had talked me into getting a custom-made bed that would allow us to indulge ourselves more comfortably. My feet hung over the edge, but the rest of me was on the mattress. Since I didn't have to worry about my legs falling asleep or anything like that, I was able to spend as much time as I wanted doing one of my favorite things.
She gasped, arching up into my mouth as I licked her in one long swipe. I grabbed her hips and held her as I worked my tongue into her. The flavor of her burst across my taste buds and I groaned. I could do this for hours, and I had, going down on her until she'd literally passed out. That wasn't the goal for tonight though.
I brought her to the edge, enjoying every sound that fell from her lips, then backed off. She swore, pulling against her restraints, begging me to let her come.
“Not yet,” I said as I moved up her body.