by Amber Monroe
“Fuck you, Eric.” I heard her cry out. Shit, I made her cry. And before I could apologize, she ended the call. And I know for a fact, she was already in motion to block me.
“Hola Mami,” DaVon said to this little Latino chick who walked past. She was pretty with her long black hair and semi-thick shape. I licked my lips and gave her the look. That always worked on the females, and she wouldn’t be any different, or so I thought. She rolled her eyes and kept walking—that shit kind of damaged my ego. I was the one who bagged the joints and gave her friends to my friends. Who did she think she was?
“Aye!” I called after her. She continued to walk, so I followed her so I wouldn’t cause a scene. I ended up following her into Victoria Secrets.
“Do I need to get mall security?” She said once she realized that I was still behind her.
“Mall security? You must not be from around here, talking like that.” I laughed.
“I’m not, and?”
“Mall security ain’t gon do shit. Them rent-a-cops are lazy as fuck. Where you from?”
“VA.”
“What part?”
“Damn, you nosey.” She laughed.
“Not really, just trying to get to know my future wife.”
“Boy, bye.” She blushed. I was breaking her down.
“What part and why you up here?”
“Richmond. I’m visiting some family for the holidays. What you doing here? Damn sure not buying shit.” She smirked then walked over to the panty section of the store.
“I order my shit online like people with short patience for mall lines. I just came to chill with my mans and shit for a minute.” I said as I watched her put a couple of panties in her bag. I wasn’t with that stealing shit, but I wasn’t knocking babygirl’s hustle.
“Eric!” I heard someone yell from outside of the store. I turned around and saw Roon walking over with some bad brown skin chick with him. She quickly walked to the PINK side of the store and left him with all the bags.
“What’s up, bro?” I said while giving him dap. He was definitely making big money now because he looked like money. Roon was never a bummy nigga, but you could tell that his financial bracket changed.
“Nothing much, getting this shopping shit out of the way. I only shop for two people, but grams don’t be asking for much. It’s just this one over here who needs ten pairs of shoes and expensive ass make-up.” He said as he pointed to the brown skin chick.
“Who is that?” I asked.
“My little sister, Kay. You don’t remember her, huh?” He asked.
“Nah, not really. Wow.” I said, checking her out.
“Nigga, don’t get your head knocked off.” He said as he peeped me checking out his sister.
“I’m just settling the score. You did more than check out Raquel.” I smirked.
“That’s the past, and that’s really between Wayne and me. Now, if it was Bre, then you and I could have a problem.”
“Nah, you and the jail system would’ve had that problem.” I laughed.
“Shit you right. How is Bre? Wayne told me what happened.” He said.
“I don’t know. She hasn’t been answering anybody’s calls or responding to our texts. I don’t think she even went to school before our break started.”
“Word? That doesn't seems like her, though. I know her lil’ boyfriend….do y’all need me to reach out to that nigga and check on lil’ sis? You know your sisters are like sisters to me.”
“Except Raquel, but yeah, see what you can do. I know shit is crazy, but we just want to make sure she’s good.”
“I gotcha, let me get this girl before she spends any more money. You good, though?” He said while trying to offer me money. I could use a couple of dollars, but I wasn’t about to accept it in front of shawty, who was still standing here, surprisingly.
“I’m straight, brah,” I said. He walked away to join his sister, who was in line with mad shit in her hands. I laughed as I saw him arguing with her about how much she had.
“How you know, Roon?” Shawty asked me.
“How do you know, Roon?”
“I don’t, I’ve just heard about him. He’s making big moving up here, and his name is traveling fast down to VA.”
“Yeah...I guess.” I said, skeptically. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know what Roon did for a living, but I wasn’t about to confirm that with her. I didn’t know her, but she seemed to know and be impressed by Roon. And just like that, I wasn’t interested anymore and just started walking away.
“Hey, wait!” She called out. I paused for a second.
“What’s up?” I said nonchalantly.
“You not going to ask me for my number?”
“I don’t even know you like that.”
“But, you followed me to this store not too long ago.”
“Right, it was a mistake. Take care, love.” I said, then started walking away.
“A mistake?” She said as she followed behind me.
“Yeah. I don’t like how you seemed all interested in my mans.”
“It wasn’t anything like that. It’s just I have a thing for bad boys. I first saw him at a house party that I went to not too long ago when I visited my cousins. You must be a bad boy if you know Roon and y'all cool like that.” She said. I stopped in my tracks with a smirk on my face. My ego had been restored, and I had her right where I wanted her.
“You like bad boys, huh?” I asked while turning to face her. I handed her my phone, so she could put her number in.
“What’s your name?”
“Tiffany Henríquez.” She smiled.
8.Bre
As much as I want to say that my mother was right, she was, but you won’t hear me say it. Living with Jemar was okay at first, like the first two weeks. He seemed to be concerned and caring when I first moved in, but it seemed like it was all an act. He never came back like he said he would. After the third day, I gave up and asked Chianne to come to get me. Then yesterday, my mother finally had my phone turned off. So even if Jemar did call, I wouldn’t know, but I doubt he did.
“Merry Christmas, bestie!” Chianne said as she walked into her bedroom. I was sitting on bed still in my pajamas, just lost in thought. She handed me a gift bag, and I rolled my eyes because we agreed to not get each other a gift this year. After all, I couldn’t afford to get her anything.
“It’s not for you.” She said. I took the gift out of the bag and saw that it was a pink baby gift set. It had a pink and white swaddle blanket, pink leather loafers, white crocheted Bunny Rattle, and a teddy bear
“Awww thanks, Chi. But why did you get pink? I don’t know what I’m having yet.”
“Godmommy’s intuition. Merry Christmas, baby mama,” Chianne said while rubbing my now growing belly.
“Thanks,” I said dryly.
“No, no, no. We are not going to let that asshole ruin this day for us. I know you’re sad, but don’t let this ruin Christmas.”
“It’s not just him, though. This is my first Christmas without being home and around my family. No Christmas breakfast, no hearing Alexis and my nieces screaming about their present or hearing my mom say how she didn’t do much, but seeing hundreds of gifts under the tree.” I said while starting to tear up. I missed home and my family. And if I would’ve known that my mother was cutting my phone off, I would’ve answered my siblings’ calls. I was even ignoring my dad’s calls, and I know he was pissed. After dealing with my mother, I couldn’t face my father and see his disappointment.
“I know it’s hard Bre, but you still got me, and I’m not going anywhere,” Chianne said as she wrapped her arms around me.
“Can I use your phone?” I asked her. She probably thought I was about to call Jemar again, but I was over him for the moment. I needed to hear voices that meant something to me.
“I thought you were done with me,” Eric answered. I scrunch my face up because I was confused. But, I brushed it off because he probably thought it was one o
f his many hoes calling him to wish him a merry Christmas.
“Hey, big head,” I said.
“Bre?”
“Duh...who did you think was calling you? Chianne? You have her number?” I questioned while looking at Chianne. She was pretending to be focused on picking out something to wear for the day.
“What’s up? Merry Christmas!” He said, trying to change the subject. I’ll ask Chianne about that later.
“Merry Christmas!” I said.
“We’ve been calling your baked bean head ass.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. I was going to call, but your mother had my phone cut off yesterday. I don’t know when I’ll get a new phone. I’m at Chianne’s.”
“That’s where you’re staying?”
“No, just wanted to spend Christmas with her.” I lied. I did want to spend Christmas with my bestie, but I was hoping to spend the day with my baby’s father.
“Where is your baby daddy at?”
“Look, I didn’t call for all that. I wanted to call y’all and say Merry Christmas, but if you’re gonna act like your mama, we can end it right here.”
“I’m sorry. You’re my little sister, and I’m just worried. I miss your egghead ass.”
“I miss your bean pie head ass too. What are y’all doing?”
“We just finished opening up gifts. Ma and Raquel are in the kitchen cooking breakfast. And Alexis is playing with her new toys.”
“Where is Wayne?”
“He spent Christmas morning with Aniyah and the kids. They’re supposed to come by later for dinner. Dad is supposed to come too.”
“Don’t tell him you talked to me. I don’t want to add any more fuel to whatever fire is brewing within him.”
“Well, you need to handle that soon because he’s been on my ass about being your big brother and not looking after you.”
“I will.”
“Is that Bre?” I heard Raquel ask in the background. I rolled my eyes instantly because I wasn’t in the mood for her twenty-one questions. Raquel was a cool big sister, but she could be like my mother at times, and I didn’t feel like hearing that shit now.
“Bre?” Raquel said into the phone.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey? I’m not about to get into your shit now, but we need to talk soon. I want to see you before I head back to school.”
“Okay.”
“I’m serious, Binky.” She had to add that stupid ass nickname she gave me. I rolled my eyes hard.
“I hear you. I don’t know when I’ll be able to get a new phone since your mother had mine disconnected, so I’ll call you when I get a chance.”
“She did that?” She said, sounding shocked.
“Yeah, and I’m not surprised. She washed her hands with me, and I did the same.”
“You know you can always ask me for help. I’m making good money now, so I’m more resourceful.”
“Don’t worry about me. Use your money for school. I’m good. -Look, I have to go now, but I’ll call you. Tell Alexis and Wayne I said Merry Christmas,” I said quickly and ended the call. I was hoping that she took the hint and wouldn’t call back. I had to get my shit together and soon because it wasn’t just me that I had to care for. My baby would be here in about five-six months, so far I did nothing to prove that I was prepared. I barely had a roof over my head, and I needed some type of stability in life to prove my mother wrong.
∞∞∞
“Bre!” Chianne yelled from the living room. I got up from the bed and made my way to her.
“Yes?” I said as I saw that she was standing by her front door with her arms crossed against her chest. Chianne has lived with her dad’s grandmother in a three-bedroom house since he was in prison. Her father, Kyle, would be getting out soon and made plans for him and her to move to California to start over. Chianne already had it in her mind that she didn’t want to go, but I encouraged her to hear him out at least. I mean, I understood where she was coming from since she hardly knew him. Her mother gave birth to her when he was in prison, and after a DNA test with his mother, her mother left her and Jasmine behind. They haven’t seen their mother for over ten years, and she only saw her father a couple times when her grandmother took her to visit him. Her sister Jasmine was placed in foster care because their grandmother couldn’t take care of both of them. It’s honestly, a sad story, and hopefully one day you’ll hear about it.
“You have a visitor.” She said while rolling her eyes and walking away. I walked to the door and understood her attitude instantly.
“What?” I said to Jemar as he stood on the other side of the screen door.
“Can we talk for a minute?” He asked.
“Talk.”
“Without the screen door in between us.” I rolled my eyes then grabbed my coat that was nearby. I closed the front door behind me and stood on the steps while Jemar stood in front of me.
“I tried calling you.” He said.
“My mother had my phone cut off,” I said dryly.
“Damn.”
“You could’ve called Chianne’s phone,” I stated matter of factly.
“I didn’t think about that.” He lied. And I knew it was a lie because any other time he couldn’t reach me, he had no problem calling Chianne.
“Well, what’s up? It’s cold out here.” I said while rubbing my hands together.
“Fuck it then. I came over here to apologize for being gone longer than expected. I know you were probably down about spending the day without your family, so I figured I would come home and surprise you, but you were gone. I figured you had to be over Chianne’s, so I came straight here. But I guess you are still pissed and are over this shit, so I won’t hold you. I just ask that you keep me updated with the baby’s health and if y’all need anything.” He said then started walking towards his car, a new car at that. It was a white 2015 BMW 335i xDrive Sedan. Now I didn’t know much about the drug game, but that seemed like a car worth above his little weed business pay rate. I probably should have questioned him more about that, but that wasn’t my focus.
“That’s it? You come over here after days of being missing, and you’re mad because I’m mad that this is my first seeing you? You didn’t explain why I haven’t seen you, but you’re ready to throw in the towel already? I hate to say that my mother is right, but she hit it right on the head about you. One little problem that you created and you are ready to throw us away and dead your responsibilities. Whatever, I don’t need you. Me and mine will be good. So go back to wherever you’ve been, and do you!” I said, then headed up the step to go back into the house. However, I felt my arm being yanked back.
“Don’t fucking walk away from me!” Jemar yelled at me once I was facing him. I grabbed my arm and immediately rubbed it because it was so sore from being pulled so sudden.
“Ouch. That hurt!” I screamed and pushed him.
“I’m sorry. It’s just I don’t like when people walk away from me. My mother walked away from me…” He shared, and I already knew where this was going.
“I wasn’t trying to...I didn’t mean to. I was just over this conversation, and I’m cold.”
“Can we just go home and talk?”
“Home? I thought you just broke up with me.”
“I was just pissed, baby. I’m sorry. I just want to spend the rest of this day with my girl and baby.” He said, putting his hand on my stomach. I probably should have told him no and asked for a break, but I let my heart lead instead of my mind.
“Okay.” I sighed. I told him I needed to grab my belongings and say bye to Chianne.
“You good?” Chianne asked as soon as I walked in. She was sitting on the couch with the tv on mute.
“Yeah. I’m going back to his crib to talk. I’ll call you whenever I get a chance. Thanks for everything.” I said as I walked over to hug her. I quickly walked to her room and grabbed my overnight bag.
“Things are not always as they seem; the first appearance deceives many.” Sh
e quoted from Phaedrus. She was always citing ancient people.
“I’m good, Chi. Trust me.” I said as I hugged her.
∞∞∞
“I’ll get your bag, bae,” Jemar said as he pulled up in front of the apartment building. I just smiled and took a minute to admire his car. It was nice and smelled new. I needed to hurry up and get my license because I couldn’t depend on him taking me around or getting on the bus once my baby was here.
“You like it?” He asked after he turned the car off.
“Yes, it’s nice.”
“I got it for us. It’s enough for a baby’s car seat in the back.” He said. I smiled because, for the first-ever, he was thinking about our child without being told to do so.
“That’s good, Jemar,” I said, then reached for the handle, but stopped immediately because my arm was still sore. “Ouch,” I said as I rubbed my arm.
“I’m so sorry about that, baby. I didn’t mean to grab you that hard, I was just trying to stop you from going in the house. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“It’s fine. I just need to put some ice on it or soak in a nice warm bath with Epsom salt.”
“I’ll make the bath for you once we get in.”
“The tub probably needs to be cleaned first,” I said.
“I’ll clean it.” He said then started to get out of the car. He ran to open the door for me and kissed my cheek as I got out. He grabbed my bag, locked up the car, then headed up to the apartment. I was right behind him, but something caught my attention before I followed behind him. There was a group of old heads on the corner, carrying on and drinking. One person caught my attention because she reminded me of my mother.
“Aunt Kourtnee?” I mumbled to myself. Kourtnee was my cousin Keisha’s mother and has been MIA for over ten years. She left Keisha and her younger siblings and never came back from them. After that, they have been with our grandparents since then. Unfortunately, our Papa Kel passed about six years ago, so Grandma Pep took on the full responsibility of the kids. Nobody could explain or think of a reason why Kourtnee would leave her kids like that. It has been years since I’ve seen her. But I remember her face because my mother kept pictures of her all around our house. She honestly looked the same; same beige skin, long dark brown hair, and such a beautiful smile. I always said that she reminded me of a model or vixen. I tried to get a little closer so I could get a good look at her. It was hard because she was carrying on with the old heads out there. I couldn’t tell if she was drinking too, but she seemed to have a good time. I know that she battled with a drug addiction since her early teens, but I didn’t want to assume anything. I honestly didn’t know what to do, so I just decided to try my luck and call out her name.