by Amber Monroe
“I’m no good for you, anyways. I’m no good for anybody. Jemar damaged me.” I said while letting go of his hand.
“I have an opportunity to leave DC and have a fresh start. Come with me.”
“My baby is due is in about a month.”
“They have doctors where I’m going. And I have enough money to take care of us.”
“Ricky, I can’t just drop all my baggage and damage on you. You go wherever you’re going without somebody else shit. You don’t need or deserve that.”
“A rose is still a rose. Bre, I care about you…..a lot.”
“You shouldn’t.”
“Bre you’re not-”
“I am. And you should leave. He’s probably coming back, and I don’t want to cause any more damage. You don’t need to get caught up in my shit.”
“Bre-”
“Just go!” I yelled. I didn’t mean to, but I was really fucked up now. I probably had a whole ass, good dude, in my life this entire time, and I overlooked him for a piece of shit. I didn’t deserve his kindness and protection. “Just go, please. I want to be alone.” I said then put my head down. He didn’t say, and shortly I felt him get up off the floor and leave the room. Part of me wanted him to stay or go with him. It was too late, and now I have to figure out what I’m going to do because I can’t live like this. I won’t live like this.
15. Raquel
May 2016
“It’s hot in here,” Heaven complained for the hundredth time tonight. I rolled my eyes and took a sip from my drink. I decided to hang out with my cousins Kiara and Heaven, since I was now home from college. We were actually celebrating Kiara’s and my birthdays early since I already made plans to be in Cancun for my birthday next week. Kiara’s birthday was the week after mine, but she said she really didn’t have plans. Heaven was already twenty-two, and Kiara would be turning twenty-two as well. They didn’t mind hanging around my soon to be twenty-year-old ass. Natasha was closer to my age, but we honestly didn’t have much in common, and just like her brothers, she really didn’t hang with the family too much. Anywho, I only came to visit for two weeks then I was taking my ass back to Florida. However, since I hardly hang with my family when I’m home, I decided to hang out with these hoes for the night. Most of my time home was already booked, and I doubt I would have any time to chill for a minute.
“Having fun?” I asked Kiara. She had been quiet the most and didn’t seem like herself.
“I’m fine. It’s just been a long day.” She said, just staring down at her drink.
“We didn’t have to come to the club. We could’ve gone out to eat or did something more chill.” I said. We all loved going out, getting cute, dancing and sipping on free drinks from guys that will never get a chance from us. However, as much as I liked going out, I enjoyed staying in and binge-watching tv shows.
“I needed the distraction,” Kiara said. I don’t think she even realized that the words left her before she could stop them. Kiara and I were very similar; bougie, sometimes ratchet, and very private. We were close, but she was closer to Heaven than me because they were raised in the same household. When our grandparents took her and her siblings in, they let her stay with our Aunt Loretta, who is Heaven’s mom. Heaven wasn’t naturally bougie like Kiara and me, however,Aunt Loretta acted like she was. She was a basic bitch compared to me and Kiara. She thought copping every Michael Kors, and Coach bag was doing it big. And most of her designer stuff was knock-offs anyways. Kiara and I paid for our shit at the store or online. And most of the time, we had men who gifted us with endless gifts. Heaven really didn’t care for that stuff but pretended because that’s what Kiara was into. I honestly don’t think Kiara cared if she did or not because she genuinely liked being around Heaven.
Kiara and I used to be cool and even had plans to go to Spelman together. But for some reason she changed her mind and stayed home to attend Maryland University. I didn’t want to go to Atlanta without her, so when I heard that some classmates were headed to FAMU, I applied, and you know the rest. Kiara never told me why she no longer wanted to attend, I always assumed she was scared to leave home.
“Is everything okay?” I asked her again.
“It’s just the overwhelmingness of work and school.”
“I get it. This semester was a lot for me, too, since I’m a part of so much. At least you’re graduating in December.” I said. Kiara ended up taking off a semester last year and was supposed to be graduating this year. However, she got back on track and would be done with school in December.
“I know. I’m so over school. I wish I would’ve just taken my ass to Spelman.”
“Why didn’t you?” I asked.
“I fell in love.” She admitted and shocked me. Kiara never really shared shit like that or acted like love was something she wanted. After her heartbreak from Demi, one of Wayne’s friends, she vowed to never fall in love again. I definitely understood because he did her dirty, and he was like four years older than her. She was sixteen at the time, probably shouldn’t have been talking to him at first, but nobody could tell her anything. I didn’t realize it was a bad thing for a twenty-year-old to be talking to a sixteen-year-old because, honestly, he had the mentality of a teenager. Demi was very childish, but he manipulated girls like a grown man. Wayne tried to stop them, but they just went behind his back, and by the time he found out, Kiara’s poor heart had already been broken. Kiara never really explained what happened, and I never really asked because she seemed really torn about it. And as far as Demi, he ended up getting arrested for a drug-related crime a year after they broke up. We never brought him back up.
“I’m going to get another drink, want anything?” She said, taking me out of my thoughts. I was about to reply, but I felt my phone vibrating in my purse.
“No, I’m fine. I need to take this.” I said as I got up from our table and quickly tried to find an area that wasn’t as loud to talk in.
“Hello,” I said, putting a finger on my ear to block out the background noise.
“Raquel?” He said, unsure.
“Did you mean to call someone else?” I joked.
“Of course not. It’s just very loud, and I didn’t take you for a clubber.”
“I’m really not, but I’m out with my cousins.”
“Well I won’t hold you, I just wanted to let you know that I booked the room for our Cancun trip.”
“You could’ve texted that.”
“I know, but I kind of wanted to hear your voice.”
“Aww, that’s so sweet. I’m not going to be long, I’ll call you when I get home. We’re still on for coffee in the morning, right?”
“Yes, we are, and I’ll look forward to your call. Talk to you in a few, Raquel.”
“Okay, Antonio.” I blushed. I know I said I probably wouldn’t see him again, but during our first night together, we shared a lot of chemistry, and I really liked him. Although it was against the rules, we communicated outside of the agency and he even came to visit me while I was in Florida. I honestly don’t know where this was going, but I enjoyed his company.
When I made my way back to our table, Kiara was finally coming back with a drink in her hand.
“You just now coming back?” I asked after I sat back down.
“Yeah. Wayne and Roon got a section in here. I saw them and told him we were here, and he said to come to join them.” Kiara said. I instantly rolled my eyes because I wasn’t trying to be around Roon. Ever since I broke up with him almost three years ago, he always wanted to get me back. We were in love, but when I decided to work for the agency, I knew I couldn’t continue to date him. I was afraid of his disapproval and judgment; he was my first love, and I cared a lot about what he thought. However, making money, my own money was necessary at the time. I didn’t want him to eventually find out and break his heart.
“Come on, they have bottles and weed over there,” Kiara said, not really giving us a choice to object. We gathered our things and made our w
ay to Wayne’s section. The music wasn’t as loud over there, and they had more space to move around. My eyes instantly roamed around to find Roon, who was entertaining some bitch. My body immediately started to tense up, and I thought I was somewhat jealous. Even though I was the one to end things, I still cared about him.
“What’s up, sis!” Wayne said as he got up to hug me. I missed his ass and was happy to hang with him for the night. “Roon, look who’s here.” He said. Roon took his eyes off the girl for a minute to look at me and give me a head nod. I was offended! Never in the years, I’ve known him, had he ever given me a nod. Even after we broke up, he still showed love and was always begging to give me to give him another chance. I guess he grew tired of waiting and finally moved on.
“Roon!” Heaven shouted. I rolled my eyes because she could be extra sometimes. There was no secret that she had a crush on Roon, but he always made it evident that he liked me. That was another reason why I wasn’t really close to her. I think she was trying to steal him from me like how her mother did her sister, Aunt Charlotte. Like mother, like daughter.
“My bad, Heaven. I was in the middle of something. I was going to come over and speak. How have you been?” He said as he got up to hug her. He proceeded to give Kiara a hug as well but purposely left me out. I didn’t want to hug him anyway, even though he smelled so good. Roon was always too clean and polished, even when he didn’t have much money. And looking at him now, money was only adding to his already developed swag. Even in his black graphic shirt, yellow and black flannel shirt, distressed blue jeans, and yellow and black Jordan 1s, he looked so fine. He picked up a little weight, mainly muscles, and it looked so good on his body. Those waves on top of his head were shining and so well kept. And he was growing out a beard. Damn. Get it together, Rah!
“Oh, you don’t see Quel?” Kiara said to him after he hugged her. I saw the smirk he gave her and rolled my eyes. I took a seat next to Wayne, who was cheesing hard with his phone close to his face. I hope he wasn’t texting Aniyah’s hoe ass. I couldn’t believe how she did my brother after everything he did for her. Kiara, Heaven, Natasha, and I have definitely been talking about pulling up on her and beating her ass. I would’ve gotten Keisha, but according to Kiara, she was pregnant now along with Bre. I can see why they were so close, probably planning a damn pregnancy pact.
“What’s up, Raquel?” Roon said. Raquel? I’ve always been Rah to him. Hell, I even kept that nickname he gave me and used it around my school.
“Maroon,” I said, then crossed my arms over my chest. He chuckled, shook his head, and headed back to his hoe. She was kind of cute. She reminded me of the model, Tori Brixx.
“Y’all might as well get back together.” Wayne teased after putting his phone away.
“Please. I’m good.” I said and meant. “Who you on the phone, caking with?” I said, trying to change the subject. He knew Roon was a sensitive subject for me. He didn’t know why I broke his friend’s heart, but he knew it was hard for me to deal with too.
“My friend.” He smiled.
“What, friend? It better not be Aniyah.”
“Fuck, no! I’m done with that bitch. I’ve been cooling with somebody new.”
“A new girlfriend?”
“I wouldn’t say she’s my girl, but we are cooling.”
“Fucking?” I corrected him. He laughed. I knew my brother and was actually happy that he was moving on. Hopefully, he wasn’t getting into another relationship or having another baby.
“Well, you seem happy, so I’m not going to get in your shit.”
“About what?”
“About jumping into another relationship. Enjoy the single life, be a hoe.”
“Be a hoe? Your ass is tripping. Men can’t be hoes. Can’t be something we keep.”
“Whatever. Just enjoy being single for a while, then try that relationship shit again when you hit your thirties.”
“So, you want me to be a bachelor for nine years?”
“Or until you’re ready for another relationship.”
“Okay. I hear you, baby sis. I’ll listen to you if you listen to me.”
“About?”
“Give my boy another shot.” He said as he nodded towards Roon, who now had that hoe in his lap and coincidently looked over at us. He was really staring at me, but I played it off and rolled my eyes.
“That chapter is closed, big bro,” I said and glanced over at Roon, who was now tonguing the girl down. “I’m never going back there.”
17. Eric
“Eric it’s almost time for us to go. Your mom might be home soon.” Chianne whined. I kissed her lips because I couldn’t get enough of her. We were standing in the middle of my room, chest to chest. I know she had to feel my erection poking her in the stomach. It’s only been about two months since we lost our virginities and we were finally getting comfortable with each others’ bodies. I think I was becoming a fiend for her because I invited her over to my house for a quickie. My mother had calmed down a little, she was still tripping, but I was willing to risk it all for Chianne.
“Eric, I don’t want to get in trouble with your mother or get you in trouble.” She said, trying to break from our kiss.
“We’re not. She has to pick Alexis up first then she’ll be home. We have about forty-five minutes and that’s all I need.” I said while unhooking her bra. Chianne’s body was perfect. I don’t know if having sex enhanced her body, but she was definitely looking different. Her breasts seemed fuller, hips widened a bit and butt was getting rounder. I don’t know maybe it was just my hormones that had me lusting even more after her.
“Condom, Eric.” She said.
“Let’s just do it without it this one time. I want to really feel you. I heard the feeling is much better without a condom. We’ll be fine. You're on birth control, right?”
“I just started it Eric. It’s probably not effective yet.”
“I’ll pull out. It’s only this one time, okay? You trust me, right?” I added.
“Yes.” She said, looking me in my eyes. I smiled then pulled my boxer down and got in my bed. Laying right on top of the covers.
“Come and get on top.” I said then licked my lips. She blushed then stepped out of her panties. I slowly examined her body as if I was seeing it for the first time. She slowly walked over to me then climbed on top of me. She lifted up and waited for me to enter inside of her. Once I slowly entered, I saw her eyes close and watched how her breathing slowed up. I kept my eyes on her because I loved watching her facial expressions.
“You ready to take all of it?” I asked. I’ve been patient with Chianne and didn’t rush anything. I understood that our experience would be different because there wasn’t any discomfort on my end.
“Yes, but go slow.” She said with her eyes still closed.
“Always.” I smiled. I forced my penis in, little by little and just watched her facial expression to know if it was fine or not to keep going. Now I didn’t have no damn mandingo slayer, but I was atleast about 8 ½ inches and it was pretty thick.
“You okay?” I asked, she was quiet, but her face was sending mixed emotions.
“Mhmm.. Just a little discomfort, but I’m okay. Pick up the pace, a little.” She said. That was music to my ear. I grabbed her hips more then slowly started to bounce her up and down.
“Is that fine?” I said, trying to hold in my moan because she felt amazing. Chianne was always so warm and wet and now that I actually experienced it without a condom, I don’t think I can go back to using them. I mean, we’re only seeing each other and she’s on birth control, we should be good.
“Oooh shit, yes!” She screamed out. I smiled.
“Look at me.” I commanded gently. I wanted to see her beautiful brown eyes. She opened her eyes and looked down at me. The room was filled with our skins slapping against each other and our soft moans. I can’t lie, I was fighting not to bust quick, but Chianne wasn’t making it any easier. Her direct eye contact and sexy lov
e making faces, was about to send me over.
“Baby….” She moaned then placed her hands on my chest as she bounced harder. She was getting comfortable and finding her groove.
“Damn, Chi. Ride this dick.” I encouraged her and that’s exactly what she needed because she added more force on my chest with her hands and was rotating her hips. I moved her long wavy hair from in front of her breast and leaned up to give them a kiss. Just as I was leaning back, Chianne grabbed my face and leaned down to kiss me.
“I love you!” She said.
“I love you too.” I said. I stayed up and continued to kiss her breast, making sure to leave saliva on them as I went from one to the next and back.
“Eric….I think I’m about to cum.” She whispered.
“Let’s cum together.” I said as I grabbed her hips and thrusted more into her and she continued to thrust back. This was probably the best feeling ever.
“Aaaaaaghhhhhhhh.” She screamed, I looked her in her eyes again as my eyes started to roll to the back of my head.
“Fuck.” I said right as I felt myself explode inside of her.
“Mmmmmm.” She hummed as she leaned down and put all her weight on me. Our bodies were sweaty and I know the room smelled like hot sex. I probably should’ve pulled out, but shit happened and I trusted Chianne. Her dreams meant a lot to her and she was responsible. She’ll probably curse me out later for not pulling out, but I’ll deal with that later.
“So about that date?” Chianne asked as she rolled off me and onto her back, next to me.
“You still want that? That’s something you do before sex, babe.” I joked. She punched me in my arm. “Ouch!” I said as I rubbed my arm.
“Don’t play with me Eric!” She said as she crossed her arms over her chest.
“I’m just joking, I haven’t forgotten. I’ve been trying to put in some hours at work so I can take you somewhere nice.” I honestly said. I did like Chianne and she deserved something nice for putting up with my ass.