by Amber Monroe
“Ugh! Why must you use him against me, that’s not fair. You know he’s my weakness.”
“I know. So do what you gotta do, so I can do what I gotta do.” I smirked. I felt my phone vibrating and took it out of my pocket because it was probably Roon saying to hurry up since he was double-parked. “This bitch.” I sucked my teeth and ignored the call.
“Babymama?” Mikayla asked as she noticed my attitude change. Aniyah has been doing that to me lately, and it seemed like she was getting a rise off of pissing me off.
“Yeah. I don’t feel like dealing with her right now.” I said.
“Don’t let her stress you out. You just need to get custody of the kids and let her be. She has a whole nother’ kid to worry about and another one on the way.”
“Facts. Thank God I was right about that baby not being mine. I was lunchin’ that night, but wasn’t that fucking dumb.” When Aniyah finally had her baby, I went ahead and got a test in case I did slip up, but God was on my side, and the baby wasn’t mine. I think Mikayla was relieved too because she was on my case about taking the test in the first place.
“I know, well, let me go. I’ll call you when I land.” She said, then backed away from our embrace.
“Aye Mikayla!” I said before she got in line. She walked a little close to me. “Live your life, okay? What we have is special, but I don’t want you missing out on life because you holding on your life back here.”
“What? Where is this coming from? I know you wanted to pursue something after I graduated, but are you changing your mind? Is there someone else?” I could tell her heart was hurt.
“Yes, there is,” I admitted.
“Who? What’s her name?” She said as a tear fell down, I tried to wipe it, but she moved her face back. I grabbed her by the waist and forced her to look at me.
“She’s a badass woman that I’ve been feeling and waited for the right time to approach her on my grown man shit,” I said. She frowned, then rolled her eyes and tried to move my hands off her waist. I had a firm grip, so she wasn’t going anywhere. “Let me finish with your jealous ass,” I smirked.
“I don’t need to hear about your new bitch. Do you hear me telling you about the guys at school I’ve encountered.”
“Encountered like what? Class, around campus, or the dorms? Don’t play with me Mikayla, don’t make me buy a ticket with you.”
“Now, who’s jealous?” She smirked.
“Whatever. Like I was saying, she’s bad. She’s about twenty-two, just got her degree in Social Work, she loves 90’s R&B, she tends to snort when she laughs too hard, she’s sweet and loves pleasing me just as much as I love pleasing her. I’m trying to give her time to settle into her career before I put a baby in her, but she’s making it so hard because she’s good with my daughters, and I know how much she wants to be a mother one day. She’s patient and deserves the world, and I’m going to give her that. You see, I met her when she was sixteen, and I patiently waited until she lived her life and let her choose me. I was hoping that she did after being away from me for four years. We haven’t said I love you yet, but I know we both feel it and one day we will. Hopefully, I'll make her wife before my baby mama, but I don’t think she cares because she knows she has my heart.” I expressed.
“Is she the future version of me?” Mikayla cried. I kissed her tears and placed my forehead against hers.
“She is.”
“Better be!” She joked. My phone started ringing again, and I saw that it was Roon.
“I gotta go, but get your ass on that flight, handle your business, and live your life until you’re ready for me. I’ll be here waiting for you.” I kissed her nose, then released her. I waited until she got in line then ran out of the airport before Roon called again.
“Fuck, was y’all doing?” Roon asked as he was leaned against his car.
“My bad, I waited until she got through TSA.” I lied. I wasn’t ready to tell him how I felt about his sister just yet. I wanted to give Mikayla time to live before we made things official. I was going to wait for her, but I was going to do me too. I didn’t want Roon to worry about if I was going to break his sister’s heart while she was away.
“Yeah, mhm. Let’s go because these cops trippin’ around this bitch. That’s why I keep my ass in DC, Maryland be too pressed.” He said as he got into the car. I got into the passenger seat. He pulled off fast, and we headed back to the city.
It was quiet for the first twenty minutes of the ride. We let Future fill the car with his music, but I could tell Roon was in his thoughts.
“You really care about Kay?” He asked, keeping his eyes ahead on the road. I did the same.
“Yeah, I do. But don’t worry, I’m not trying to pursue anything until she graduates. If it’s meant to be, we will find our way back to each other.” I said, honestly.
“You love her?”
“I have love for her.”
“Nigga, that’s not the same.”
“It’s not, but it’s the truth. I have love for her, and I can see myself falling in love with her one day if she lets me.” He didn’t say anything but just nodded.
“No disrespect, though. I know we’re brothers, and at one point I did look at Mikayla like a little sister, but she grew up, and I grew up too. When I was reintroduced to her that night at the club, I felt for somebody else. Even after learning who she really was, I couldn’t look at her as a sister anymore.”
“I get it. Kay is growing up, and I guess if she was to be with anyone, you would be a great second choice.” He smirked.
“I’ll take that. I know who would be her first, though.” I smirked, hoping he caught my drift after that little comment he made. The smirk instantly left his face and he focused more on the road.
“Sucka for love ass nigga.” He mumbled. I just laughed because he definitely caught my drift, but he brought it on himself.
“Whatever y’all end up doing, just don’t hurt my sister because I don’t know what will happen to our relationship. You’re my bro, but that’s my sister- blood sister, and I’ll go to war for her.”
“I would too,” I said, then looked at him. I had no intention of hurting Mikayla. The only thing I wanted to was love her and make her my wife. Yeah, I said it—my wife.
“So what’s up with you and Quel. She’s back for good and transferred to Morgan State. Y’all getting back together or something? That’s my sister- blood sister, and I’ll go to war for her too.” I mimicked him. He smirked.
“I’m cooling man. Yeah, we kind of rekindled after Bre had the baby, but she ghosted my ass and went back to Florida. I’m not chasing your sister no more, I’m over that shit. It’s getting old and tired. If she wants me, she knows where I am.” He said, trying to convince himself more than me.
“Yeah, sure,” I said.
“But, I’m not even on that shit because I got bigger shit to worry about.”
“Like?”
“You remember that lil’ bitch from the club. The night your big head ass sister was there with your big head ass cousins.”
“That bad redbone joint with the short red hair?” I definitely remembered her because she was bad, but she was trying to get at me on the low. I told Roon, but he brushed it off because he said she was for anybody.
“Yeah, that hoe. She had a baby about two months ago and said I was the daddy.”
“I thought you left her alone after I told you how she tried to approach me.”
“I did, but she got some fire head, and I may have hit it off and on for the past year.”
“So, that’s your baby?”
“I didn’t think so at first because she probably had endless niggas in and out of that pussy. But I took the test to get her off my line.”
“And? What it say? Why you dragging this shit out?” I was irritated when niggas stalled or dragged shit out.
“I’m the daddy.” He said as he put his head down for a minute then ran his hand over his face.
�
��Damn…” I mumbled.
“Right! Damn, she got my ass.”
“So what you gon’ do?”
“As much as I want to be a deadbeat because I feel like that bitch trapped me, she had a boy, and I always wanted a son….so I guess I’ll be in the lil nigga’s life.”
“What, fool? You guess?” I laughed. Roon was a fool, he knows his ass was happy to have a son, I could the smile trying to form on his face.
“Imma just playin’. Ima be in his life. You know I’m not a deadbeat like my father.”
“I know, but whatever happened to that fool?”
“His ass is around, just not around me.” He joked, but I could tell that bothered him.
“Well, it’s your turn to break the cycle,” I said.
“I am and will. I already got the crib baby ready.”
“What about the mama?”
“I don’t know. We’ve been spending time together because of the baby, and I'm kind of feeling her. She’s cool, maybe if the circumstance was different on how we met, I would pursue something serious, but I don’t know. I did tell her ass that she can’t fuck with other niggas or have them around my son.”
“Sounds like you putting claims on her. What’s my nephew’s name?”
“Maroon Jr, fool. Fuck you thought I was going to name him?”
“Crimson, da fuck!” He looked at me, and we both fell out laughing.
“That shit does sound good. I’ll save that if I have another kid.”
“Well, welcome to the father club,” I said sarcastically.
“Thanks, bitch. I feel so damn welcomed. And since you making plans with my sister, my son can make plans with your daughters or niece.”
“Fuck you, if Mikayla and I got married, my daughters would be his cousins, and my niece would also be his cousin by marriage.”
“But they not blood-related.”
“Nigga, it’s the principle, they would be family, and if MJ grows up with you as a father, I’m keeping my kids and niece far away from his ass.”
“What’s that’s supposed to mean?” He said like he was offended. I was happy that we were back at the apartment because I wanted to get out of this car with his ass.
“What you about to do?” Roon asked as he parked then cut the car off.
“Shit, nothing. I’ll probably call Aniyah’s annoying ass back to see what I can see my kids.”
“Damn, she still being petty?”
“Yep, then she had a letter sent to me about child support. I don’t get it, I barely see my kids, and she expects me to support them financially, and she won’t even let me spend time with them. It’s October, and I’ve only seen them five times this year. I’m tired of this shit with her. She cheated and mad because I don’t want her back.”
“Bitch is delusional or something. I heard she’s pregnant again.”
“Me too, but I haven’t seen her verify if it’s true or not. I honestly don’t because it’s not mine, but if she plans to use my money to support all of her kids, she got me fucked up.” I said as we got out of the car.
“Facts. I know the courts don’t be in the father’s favor, but you should see about getting custody or something in writing about seeing the kids more.”
“I thought about doing, I reached out to a lawyer, coincidently, Jemar’s mother to help me.”
“Word? Small world, huh? That nigga been around his seed?” Roon asked we started to walk into our building.
“Shit as far as I know, not really. Ricardo has been more like a father to Nelle more than her own biological dad. That nigga came with his whole mother bitching about being in Nelle’s life, just for him to be active for like a couple months then come around occasionally.”
“Shit is sad. I still can’t believe he was putting hands on Bre. Just say the word, and I got him.” Roon said as he started to climb the stairs, I followed behind.
“Trust me, I’ve thought about it, but that’s Jenelle’s father, and even though I know Bre doesn’t want his ass anymore, I know she would weep for Nelle.”
“You’re right. I’ll respect that for now.” He smirked. I shook my head because Roon was a crazy nigga. We stopped on his floor. “Let go up to my place to get my stash and some beer.”
“Aight’, the door will be unlocked.” Roon as I started up the next flight. “Aye!” He yelled before I made it up.
“You ready to put in this really work?” He asked.
“I’d rather it be me than Eric,” I admitted. Yeah, I knew about Eric cross up with Tino Henríquez, and even though he told Roon not to tell me, Roon knew he couldn't hold that. I was his big brother, and it was my job to protect him. Tino Henríquez wasn’t going to just let Eric go and knew him going to the military program was a trick to get out of his obligations. Even though Tino could’ve picked another nigga to take Eric’s spot, he somehow felt like he had great potential with Eric. It was strange how he felt like he kind of owned Eric or something. When Roon told me he wasn’t trying to let up, I volunteered my service to get my brother off the hook. I know I said I was trying to get too deep, but this was the only option. I didn’t want anything to happen to my little brother, and I could’ve prevented it. Eric no longer had to go away, but he needed to grow as a man and figure his shit out. I did too, but I was older and was planning to find a way out before Tino got me too deep.
“Don’t worry, we gon’ put that work in, then get the fuck out,” Roon assured. I nodded, then headed upstairs. However, before I made it to the top, I saw two small feet hanging off the top step.
“Ariana?” I said as I walked up and saw Ariana laying against my front door with Asia in her lap. They were knocked out and looked a little dirty like they haven’t bathed in a couple of days. I noticed their belongings scattered around my door. My blood was boiling, and I wanted to kill Aniyah if she did what I thought she did.
“Ari.” I shook her, and her eyes popped open, and she leaped into my arms. She woke Asia up, who started to whine a little. I hugged them both tightly. Ariana cried softly in my arms, and that shit almost broke me.
“How you get here?” I asked.
“Mommy left us and said we were going to live with you for now on.” She cried.
“You damn right, you are,” I said, trying to hold back my tears because I was so damn mad. How could Aniyah do this? No telling how long they were waiting for me, and she didn’t know this building or my neighbors.
“Y’all good? Anybody touch you or hurt you?”
“No, mommy just left, and we were so sleepy, so I laid on the door. Are you mad at us, daddy? Is mommy mad? Is that why she left us? She doesn’t want us anymore?” Ariana asked.
“I will never be mad at y’all. I love y’all. Your mama got issues, but it’s okay because y’all are with me now. I’m going to always make sure y’all are good and safe. When was the last time you had a bath?”
“Ummm….I can’t remember.”
“Have you been going to daycare?”
“No, mommy said Ms.Brenda doesn’t care about us, and we haven’t been in months.”
“That lying bitch,” I mumbled. I’ve been giving Aniyah money for daycare, and they weren’t even going. Hell, I just gave her a payment last week even though she hasn’t let me see my kids. I can’t believe how evil Aniyah was being, and it wasn’t even just affecting me, but the kids directly. Who just leaves their kids in front of a door without warning? I know she called me, but the kids were probably already here. I didn’t stay home last night because I wanted to spend time with my family before Eric left.
“How long have you been out here?” I asked, I finally got them to stop crying.
“Ummm, the last time I saw a clock, it said 6:05 am.”
“Y’all be out here for six hours!” I yelled. I scared Ariana and she probably thought I was mad at her. She started crying again, and that made Asia cry. “Sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to yell. I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at your mother.” I tried to soothe them. I got my key
s out and opened the door to let them in. This was about to be my new normal because Aniyah was never getting these kids back, and she better stay clear because I swear I’m going to body that bitch the next time I see.
36. Raquel
“Right here,” I told my Uber driver as he pulled up in front of Wayne’s building. I was in the area again and decided to stop for a minute. I got out of the car and walked into the building, taking slow steps. I don’t know why I was so nervous. Maybe it’s because a lot has changed within the past year. Going back to Florida for my junior year was different for me, and I was becoming so homesick. The time I spent home and being around my family did something to me, and I was missing it. While mama and Bre were working on their relationship, I decided to work on my relationship with my mother as well. I expressed to her how growing up with so many responsibilities pushed me away from her because I started to resent her.
I know she didn’t mean any harm, but I felt like she was forcing me to grow up too fast. So we’ve been working on repairing our relationship, and things have been well. I also wanted to be close to Bre and Nelle since Jemar wasn’t really around. She needed all of the support she could get, and I could since I had money saved up. So during winter break, I decided not to go back to FAMU and transferred to Morgan State. I still wanted a little distance between my family, but I was only like forty-five minutes away and could always drive home. After ending things with Antonio, I was able to think about my life and reevaluate some things. I was ready to leave the escort business, but before having my epiphany, I signed on for two more years. I was hoping to find a client like Antonio, who would hold me over for the last year. So far, I’ve been meeting men in their thirties who have been a pain the ass. And speaking of Antonio, we speak every now and then and occasionally meet up for coffee. Last time we talked, he told me how his now ex-wife was arrested for fraud and identity theft. He was loving his life now and mentioned that he had become a grandfather for the second time. I was happy for him and looked forward to my new found freedom. I was nowhere near where I wanted to be, but I was working on it. And being around Antonio also opened up some old feelings for me, so that’s why I was here. I hope I’m doing the right thing. I’m trying to follow my heart