by Fine, L. J.
“You really shouldn’t worry so much,” Adam said bumping her knee with his under the table. “You won’t see him tonight.”
Without having to ask, she knew he referred to his twin rather than who the real threat ought to be. “You spoke to him, didn’t you?”
Even as her eyes narrowed on him, he flashed her an unrepentant smile. “Well, I did think it was strange to get a strict edict from Chloe to leave my brother out tonight. Especially as I know you’re sleeping with him, if the state of my spare room is any indication.”
Groaning, Emma dropped her face into her hands, feeling the heat from her cheeks seep into her fingers.
“So you called him?” Her voice came out muffled by her fingers but he heard her.
He shrugged. “What can I say? I’m a nosey bastard. He told me about Paul’s threat and I had to swear on my life that I would look after you tonight in exchange for him keeping his distance. So please stop worrying.”
It should be a relief that Ben wouldn’t show up to her farewell cocktail hour. So why did she feel the bitter sting of disappointment instead? Well, at least his insistence that Adam look out for her showed that he worried about her. That should count for something, shouldn’t it?
The clink of a glass as someone set it firmly on the table brought her back to the here and now. Turning, she discovered a glass of red wine sitting in front of her and an expectant look on Chloe’s face.
Oh, what the hell? If she had to endure the forced merriment she might as well make the most of it. Right then she made the decision to get shitfaced drunk and reached for the glass.
The drinks kept coming as she engaged in pleasant chat with Chloe and Mina and she started to feel nicely fuzzy and numb around the edges. A very welcome change of pace from the racing turmoil her mind had been in since this morning and it made her grateful for Chloe’s insistence they do this tonight. She could at least forget about her problems for a little while anyway. Besides, Tyler, Adam and Brian were here with them so she would say she was as safe as she could be at the moment.
A delightful fog rolled over her senses and soon she found herself out on the dance floor with her friends. Tyler had dragged Mina out there with him and she and Chloe followed while Adam and Brian cooled it at the table. Well, Brian cooled it with a beer, watching Chloe. Adam occupied himself by flirting with the pretty blonde at the next table. Emma giggled and rolled her eyes.
Her mirth slowly died when she turned back to the dance floor and caught a glimpse of Tyler with Mina. The way he held her, the way she looked up at him had that same ache pulsing through her heart that she had felt the day she met them. She’d had a taste of what affection like that felt like and this time as she watched them, that yearning grew into pain. Now she had a name and a face to assign to her “Prince Charming” but that happy ending was more out of her reach now than it had ever been.
These solemn, melancholy thoughts were killing her buzz. She couldn’t have that. Squaring her shoulders, she plastered on a smile and motioned to Chloe that she was going to get another drink. Chloe happily waved and danced off toward her boyfriend.
Emma opened her mouth to get the bartender’s attention when a familiar slur cut her off.
“Well, if it isn’t the little whore, out and about without her pimp.” Paul leaned into her, his tequila-laden breath fanning out over her face causing her to grimace.
Her pulse spiked into her throat and her buzz completely dissipated before she remembered that they were in a crowded bar with her friends only a few feet away. He couldn’t hurt her here but that knowledge didn’t make his presence any more agreeable.
“Oh look, it’s Paul at the bar with a drink in his hand. I’m shocked.” She didn’t spare him another glance as she turned back to the bar to order that drink of her own.
“I am surprised you came out tonight after reading my love note. You did see it, didn’t you?” His finger trailed down her bare arm and she fought back her gag reflex as she ripped away from him.
He scowled. “Where is your boyfriend, anyway? I would have thought he wouldn’t let you out of his sight. What happened? He get bored with you already?”
She opened her mouth to give him some flippant retort when a low, menacing voice came from behind her, effectively cutting her off. “I’m right here, asshole.”
Spinning around, she found Ben standing next to the bar, glaring at Paul.
Instead of backing down like any sane person would, Paul gave a smug smile and made to reply. But before any words could escape his lips, Ben was in his face insinuating his body between Paul and Emma.
“I’m only gonna say this once and you’re gonna fucking listen to me. Stay away from Emma. I find out you so much as breathe the same fucking air as her? You’ll be the one in so many pieces no one will even begin to know how to put you back together. Got me?”
“Why are you so protective of this bitch all of a sudden? You never gave a shit about what happened to anyone else you supposedly cared about?”
The obvious reference to Tim made Emma wince and she watched Ben carefully, unsure of what he would do. Though that muscle started ticking in his jaw, he didn’t react in the explosive way she thought he might.
“You and I both know that I cared about him more than you ever did. Maybe if you hadn’t been such a shit brother things would have turned out differently. You probably don’t even really care now as much as you say you do. You’re just milking it for all it’s worth, enjoying the attention of playing the victim.” He spit the last word out in a venomous growl. “All you ever cared about was yourself and not a damn thing has changed.”
Rage, vivid and red, pooled under Paul’s skin, distorting his features as he snarled. Had he been in possession of all his wits and faculties, Emma felt sure that the sheer force of his animosity would be something to be reckoned with. As it was, his alcohol addled brain made his movements sluggish and predictable. Ben saw him think about swinging before he even raised his arm to follow through.
Ben caught Paul’s wrist as it sailed by, twisting it before spinning him around to bring his arm up at a painful angle and slamming his cheek against the counter of the bar.
Startled, Emma barley jumped out of their way as Paul’s face made impact. All chatter around them ceased as the bar patrons watched the scene unfold in front of them. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Adam and Tyler slowly approaching. They didn’t interfere but she felt their silent presence like a reassurance that they would either calm Ben down or have his back if shit got critical. Whichever came first.
Though Ben surely knew he drew a crowd of spectators, all of his aggressive focus zeroed on Paul. He’d never looked more frightening or dangerous and she had a moment to worry for Paul’s overall wellbeing.
“Understand me when I tell you that I’m done being your whipping boy,” Ben growled in Paul’s ear, ever word a threat waiting to be carried out. “You need to own up to all of your bullshit, Paul, and get some fucking help. Tim would be disgusted by the poisonous man you’ve become.” Ben leaned into Paul’s jacked up arm, causing the other man to howl in pain. “Stay the fuck away from my girl. You get it?”
Paul nodded as best he could, face smashed up against the counter like that. After a few tense moments, Ben dropped his hold on him, leaving him in a drunken, broken slump against one of the barstools.
As he backed away, Emma could see a fine tremor causing Ben’s hands to shake. She knew it was checked fury, rather than nerves or even adrenaline. She knew because she would have felt the same exact way. And then he brought his gaze to hers and she contemplated it no more. The severe look in his eyes pierced her and sent unwanted sparks of awareness through her veins. Obviously, the anger still rode him but she had never wanted to launch herself at someone more in her life.
The inexplicable pull between them had him taking an almost reluctant step toward her. She held her breath and waited for him to take another but his boots remained rooted to the floor. Slowly, th
e longer he stared at her, that fierce expression turned to one of longing and sorrow.
She wanted to go to him, wrap her arms around him and erase the bitterness she saw in his eyes. But she stood frozen, caught in his tormented gaze, and couldn’t move. All too soon, his expression once again hardened and he averted his eyes, moving past her to walk out of the bar without so much as a backward glance.
All the air left her body at once and she collapsed back into the bar. Luckily there was a barstool directly behind her or she would have fallen on her ass. She reached out a hand to steady herself on the stool and found her own hands shaking.
He left. Just walked right out of there without saying a word to her. She had just started getting grudgingly used to the idea that he was out of her life, that she would never see him again. Then he showed up, revealing that he had been watching her, saved her ass and then he just fucking left. His sudden reappearance had been a jolt to her system and that intense look he shot her before he bailed put her firmly back at square one, agonizing over all the things she could have said or done differently but didn’t.
The shock coursing through her system turned to anger and she had half a mind to follow him to vent it all out on him. For just leaving her this way.
“Emma, are you okay?” Chloe’s frantic question snapped Emma out of her thoughts and she realized she’d been staring at the door for who-knew-how-long. Like her disbelief would make him walk back through it.
Taking a deep breath, she turned toward her friend. “Yeah, I’m good.”
Chloe continued to eye her dubiously and she noticed that the rest of her friends wore matching expressions. She knew what they were thinking and chose to ignore it. No way could she give them the reassurances they needed. She had none and didn’t think she’d last through such a conversation.
“What happened to Paul?” she asked by way of deflection. And to satisfy genuine curiosity because the bastard was nowhere in sight.
Chloe sneered. “Couple of his friends picked his sorry ass up off the floor and took him out the back way.”
“Good,” Emma bit out, happy to have him somewhere other than near her. Wanting to wipe away that worried expression on Chloe’s face, she offered her a small smile. “Now I really need a drink.”
Chloe blew out a nervous laugh. “Me too. I’m buying.”
With relief, Emma saw that her friends could read her body language and leave the subject of Ben alone. And with fresh drinks all around, the tension of the night’s events slowly evaporated and soon the conversation once again became easy.
Emma excused herself to use the restroom and on the way back Adam snagged her wrist and pulled her to an empty table in the corner.
“I’m sorry,” he said by way of explanation. “I didn’t know Ben was going to be here.”
Of all the people to be apologizing to her, it really shouldn’t have been Adam. “No, it wasn’t your fault. I understand why you called him earlier so there’s no reason to apologize.”
His mouth formed into a mean line as he shook his head. “I should have known he would go all stalker on you tonight. He’s been acting so damn weird when it comes to you.” He regarded her closely for a few seconds before he dropped his eyes and murmured. “I also should have been paying more attention. If I had been, Paul never would have made it up to the bar beside you.”
Anger coursed through her once again but it didn’t have a thing to do with Adam. It was all about Paul. “Don’t apologize because of that shithead. You know, maybe it’s a good thing it happened. Didn’t seem like Ben ever stood up to him like that before on his own behalf. Maybe he got some closure from it.”
Adam’s head snapped up at her sharp tone and then an amused smile curved his lips. “I don’t give a shit what my dumbass brother says. You’re good for him, you know that.” It wasn’t a question and she got his meaning. “Just give him some time. He’ll figure it out.”
She laughed and shook her head. “I’m glad you’re so sure. Does he know that?”
His smile turned into a sly grin. “He will.”
The end of their little corner conversation was meant to be helpful and as she rejoined her friends, she was aware of that. The problem was, she wasn’t sure any amount of time would bring with it a revelation in Ben’s eyes. Nothing anyone said or did was going to change the way he felt about himself, make him see what he was giving up between them. Only he could do that. All Emma could do was accept his decision and pray to God that one day, she would get over him.
Chapter Fourteen
“Emma! You should go on vacations more often. The revisions you’ve made to your novel are exactly what this story needed,” Jessica gushed from the large overstuffed armchair directly across the coffee table from Emma. But they might as well have been talking about the weather for all the attention Emma paid her. Instead, she took in her surroundings with an unnatural attention to detail that would have been missed had she been more socially engaged. The bookstore was unusually packed for a Tuesday night, though. Made Emma glad they had gotten here early to nab these chairs in a semi-secluded area of the store.
“Hello.” Jessica snapped her fingers in front of Emma’s face, pulling her back into the conversation. “You still with me, sweetie?”
Jessica’s praise didn’t exactly fall on deaf ears. Emma was elated by her mentor’s excitement about her novel’s improvements. Emma had just been having trouble really focusing on anything since she came home over a week ago. Even, or maybe especially, her novel’s revisions weren’t keeping her engaged. Most of them she had written before she had come home, anyway. Every time she went back over her writing, it reminded her in some new and torturous way of Ben. She couldn’t deny that his contributions to her plot and writing style immensely improved her work. And she needed to shove on with her career. This was her dream job. She couldn’t let it fall through the cracks because she had a broken heart.
So, she had bitten the bullet and pieced her story back together, trying to force that delicious and infuriating man from her thoughts. For the most part, she had succeeded and was able to present her new and improved manuscript to Jessica at last week’s meeting.
Surprisingly, though, she wasn’t as eager for her feedback this time as she had been the first and it wasn’t because she worried that it would be negative.
“I’m sorry. Yes, I’m still here. Zoned out for a second is all. There are just so many people here,” she said plastering a fake smile on her face.
That was another thing that had changed. Along with her usually intense focus, went her natural inclination to smile often. To put it frankly, she was miserable. She missed Ben and the thought of him alone and miserable as well because he didn’t think he deserved any better was almost as unbearable as not seeing him at all.
She kept hoping to see or hear from him but knew in her heart of hearts that it wouldn’t happen. He had made himself clear and was just stubborn enough that she knew he wouldn’t budge.
“ – and I think you’re ready to start submitting this manuscript for publication.” Emma caught the tail end of what Jessica was saying. When the other woman looked at her expectantly, she felt her face flame. She had zoned out again and got caught.
“I’m sorry.” She gave a sheepish smile. “What were you saying?”
A concerned frown marred Jessica’s lovely features as she leaned forward in her chair. “What’s bothering you, Emma?”
She froze. She knew she wasn’t exactly acting like herself, but she thought she could at least fake her way through this conversation.
“Nothing, I’m fine.” She lied.
From the narrowed expression on Jessica’s face, she could tell.
“I’m sitting here going on and on about how wonderful your novel now is and you’re a million miles away. That’s not like you. This is too important for you to brush off.” She sat back in her chair and folded her arms across her chest. “Who did you meet while you were away? I’m going to hazard a guess
and say this is about him.”
Shit. Was it really that obvious that this was a bout a man? There could be any number of problems going on in her life that didn’t involve the male of their species. Granted, the intimacy between her male and female characters had improved so vastly in her story and she didn’t think that one could simply research that kind of connection on the internet. Still, she decided to play dumb. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Jessica cocked an eyebrow. “Right. Just like I’m sure you have no idea who that Adonis staring holes into your back over by the door is, either.”
Emma spun around so fast she almost got whiplash. Sure enough, Ben stood just inside the door, amber eyes glued to her. Immediately, on sight, her heart started thumbing to the point her pulse felt like it might escape right out of her suddenly very dry throat. What was he doing here?
As usual, he looked amazing. His dark hair was in sexy disarray on his head, his jaw rough with the beginnings of dark stubble giving him that devilish look that never failed to make her panties wet. He wore his black leather jacket over a dark gray t-shirt and those dark worn jeans rested dangerously low on his hips in a way that should be illegal. But it was those whiskey-colored eyes that caught her attention. They looked haunted, but at the same time, determined.
When their eyes connected the only change to his expression was that lush mouth forming into a straight line. Neither of them moved and soon she became aware of how silly they must look just staring at each other from across the room. So she made the first move.
“Excuse me,” she mumbled to Jessica, ignoring the knowing smile breaking out across the woman’s face.
“Hi,” she said lamely when she reached him for lack of knowing what else to say.
“Hi,” he replied in kind, shoving his hands into his pockets.