Nobody’s Darling

by Nobody’s Darling (retail) (epub)

  * * *

  At nine o’clock, Lizzie sat in the rocking chair, her mind fleeting from one thought to the next. Another week gone and still Ted was out of work. Lizzie wondered whether she would ever have peace of mind. The childer were fast and hard asleep in their beds; all but Ruby, who was sitting outside on the front doorstep with Johnny Ackroyd. Ted was snoozing in the chair opposite, and only the ticking of the clock disturbed her troubled thoughts. Through the parlour window she could see the sun going down. It would be a while yet before the sky was darkened and the night set in. She felt uneasy, strangely unsettled. Uppermost on her mind was Ruby, and then the question of how they would manage if Ted didn’t soon get work. Suddenly she felt the need to get out of the house.

  ‘Where are you off to, Mam?’ Ruby was surprised to see Lizzie come out wearing her best Sunday shawl and her navy straw hat pulled over her hair.

  ‘I’m off to stretch my legs.’

  ‘Do you want me to come with you?’

  ‘No, lass. I’ll not be gone long,’ came the reply, and with that Lizzie went at a smart pace down the street.

  ‘I’m glad she didn’t want you to go with her.’ Johnny loved to be close to Ruby, and the thought that she’d been willing to leave him there cut through him like a knife. ‘There’s things I want to talk about,’ he explained.

  Ruby looked at him with inquisitive dark eyes and his heart turned over. ‘What things?’ she asked.

  ‘Oh, just “things”,’ he said lamely. How could he tell her that he intended to wed her one day, and that he wanted her promise right now? She was so unpredictable. If he said the wrong thing she would be up and off. He didn’t want that. No. Happen it would be best if he just sat here and enjoyed her company for a while. ‘You look real pretty tonight,’ he said softly, hesitantly touching her hair and cursing himself when she inched away from him. ‘Our Maureen’s been asking after you,’ he added swiftly, changing the subject.

  ‘Will it be all right if I come and sit with her awhile tomorrow?’ Ruby’s eyes lit up at the thought. But her heart had leaped at the touch of his fingers. Johnny was so handsome, so gentle with her, and when he touched her like that, she could almost forget the other things she wanted out of life – and it was this which frightened her. Being poor was bad. She must never forget that.

  * * *

  St Peter’s church was where Lizzie’s mam and dad were buried. Whenever there was something deeply troubling her, she always came here. Now, a forlorn figure kneeling at the altar, she let the quietness and solitude wash over her and then asked in a whisper, ‘Please help him to find work, Lord, for all our sakes. And I think you know what’s on my mind where our Ruby’s concerned. It were a cruel stroke o’ fate as took her to Jeffrey Banks’s house. Oh, dear God… if she were ever to find out that he were her father, there’d be no rest for any of us! Oh, I know it’s hardly likely, ’cause there’s only you and me knows the truth, ain’t there Lord? Neither Ted nor Jeffrey Banks has any inkling of it but our Ruby’s a restless, wanting little soul, and I’m afeared she’s got the taste for finery in her blood.’

  The tears spilled down Lizzie’s face at the thought of how she herself was once a maid at the Banks household and how, in one unforgiveable weak moment, she and the man of the house were drawn to each other. ‘Forgive me, Lord,’ she asked. ‘It ain’t her fault. She’s the dearest little soul on this ’ere earth, and I’m asking you please to keep the lass safe from harm.’

  As Lizzie walked home, she felt lighter of spirit. In all these years she had never confided the truth in anyone, and she never would. But then, the Good Lord had always known, and she felt in her heart that he had forgiven her long since.

  Chapter Three

  It was the last Friday in July and still Ted hadn’t found work. At five o’clock that morning, even before the knocker-upper made his rounds, he stood on the doorstep of the little house on Fisher Street, leaving Lizzie with the same hope he’d given her every morning since losing his job at Arnold’s foundry, ‘Today, lass. I’ll get work today, you see if I don’t.’

  Lizzie smiled and encouraged him ‘’Course yer will,’ she murmured warmly, then pouted her lips for a kiss, put the snap-tin in his hand, and waved him away down the street until he was out of sight. Then she visibly sagged and the smile fell from her face. ‘God go with yer,’ she sighed, before going back inside to her little parlour where she would make herself busy so as not to brood about the future. Money was desperately short now, and she didn’t know for how much longer she could keep things going.

  Upstairs, Ruby remained at the window a while longer. She too had watched her father go down Fisher Street. She too had waved him out of sight. But she didn’t make her presence known. Something told her that these few minutes when her mam and dad hugged on the doorstop were precious and meant only for the two of them. ‘You’ll get work, Dad, I know you will,’ she whispered, staring at the place at the bottom of the street where she’d last seen his familiar figure. But she had said the same thing every day for the past few weeks, and still he was searching from morning to night. To make matters worse, twenty men had been laid off from Waterfall Mill and there were rumours of others to follow. ‘You’re a good worker, Dad, and everybody knows it,’ Ruby added forlornly. ‘All the same, it’s a miserable day to be trudging the streets.’

  She stared out at the grey skies. All week it had rained with a vengeance, and even now there was no sign of it letting up. Any minute now the skies would darken and the clouds would burst asunder to drench everything below. ‘There’s no use moaning though,’ Ruby said aloud, her dark eyes following the drips that fell past her window from the guttering above. ‘They do say as how every cloud has a silver lining.’ With that thought in mind, she drew the curtains back together again, until only a narrow chink was left to admit the half-light of the morning, then she collected her work-clothes from the far wall where they were hanging on the picture-rail and tiptoed her way to the door. She didn’t want to wake Dolly at this early hour. Besides, she needed a quiet word with her mam before the whole house was awake.

  ‘I’m cold,’ Dolly’s voice whimpered into the gloom, causing Ruby to redirect her steps to the bed where she pulled the blankets over the shivering child.

  ‘Keep still then, and you’ll soon get warm again,’ she whispered.

  ‘I won’t!’ The child didn’t open her eyes. Instead, she put out her arm and felt for Ruby’s hand. ‘I need you to cuddle,’ she said, grabbing Ruby’s thumb tight. ‘Come back to bed, Ruby.’

  Her answer was to wrap the blanket more firmly round the child. ‘Go back to sleep,’ she told her softly. This old house was damp at the best of times, but when it rained the air was especially dank and it seemed to strike right to the bone. Then there was the smell, a damp sweet smell that clogged the throat and clung to everything. It was that which Ruby hated most because even when she had put a distance between her and Fisher Street and was standing in Cicely’s beautiful bedroom, that awful pungent smell seemed to follow her, until she could almost taste it.

  ‘You won’t be long, will you?’

  ‘No, I won’t be long.’

  ‘All right then.’ Dolly smiled as she wormed down under the blanket. In no time at all she was fast asleep and Ruby left the room, softly closing the door behind her.

  ‘Aw, lass, there was no need for you to get up so early.’ Lizzie was astonished to see Ruby come into the room, still wearing her night-shift and with her work-clothes draped over her arm. ‘I would have called you in plenty of time for you to catch the seven o’clock tram.’ She was busy setting out the breakfast things, although it was becoming harder and harder to satisfy the many mouths that gathered round the table. On seeing Ruby, she straightened her back from the task and looked at the girl with concerned eyes. ‘Yer could have slept another half-hour yet, lass,’ she muttered.

  ‘Once I woke up, I couldn’t get back to sleep,’ Ruby said truthfully, coming to the table and laying
her clothes over the nearest chair.

  ‘What about the others?’ Usually Lizzie loved to have her childer about her, but right now she felt low and couldn’t be doing with their aimless chatter. ‘They ain’t follering yer, are they?’

  ‘It’s all right,’ Ruby assured her. ‘They’re all hard and fast asleep. Dolly woke up because she was cold, but I tucked the blanket round her and she soon went off again.’ She reached up to kiss her mammy on the cheek. ‘If you want to sit down, I’ll set the table for you,’ she offered.

  ‘No lass. I’ll tell yer what though, yer can keep a look out for Joe’s horse and cart, ’cause there’s only just enough milk to make the childer’s pobs. I’ve washed the small churn ready. But there’s time enough for yer to get your wash afore the others come down and fill the place up. They all need a lick over afore they come to the table.’ She laughed then. ‘I sometimes wonder whether it wouldn’t be easier to put the buggers in the dolly tub one after the other.’

  The laughter was a strange choking chuckle, and then, as though it had opened a dam somewhere inside, another sound followed – a low sobbing that startled Ruby. She was sitting in the chair about to put on her boots. She looked up, staring at Lizzie curiously, not certain whether her mam was laughing or crying. When she saw the tears running down that darling face, she prepared to spring up and throw her arms round her, but Lizzie was having none of it. Whatever troubles she and Ted shared were not to worry the childer. ‘By! I reckon I’ve got a chill on me,’ she lied, taking out the hankie from her pinnie pocket and dabbing feverishly at her sore little eyes. At the same time she turned away from Ruby and continued with the setting of the table. ‘There’s hot water in the kettle,’ she said. ‘Use it for your wash then fill it up again, will yer? Be sharp though, lass, ’cause they’ll all be down the stairs soon enough, then it’ll be like all hell’s let loose on us!’

  Ruby made no reply but bent her head and fastened the laces on her boots. She knew her mam had been crying, and she knew why. Yet no amount of reassurance from her would help her mam just now. The only thing that would bring the smile back to Lizzie’s face was the sight of her fella going to a regular place of work again. Ruby could do nothing about that. She felt helpless, and hated herself for not being able to do more. Suddenly she recalled something her dad had said last night, and a thought had crossed her mind. It cheered her, yet she daren’t think too hard on it. Not yet. And she daren’t mention it to her mam or there would be hell to pay.

  Twenty minutes later, Ruby was washed and dressed, her face scrubbed and her dark blue eyes shining. In her light grey, long-sleeved blouse and the dark over-smock, she looked smart as a new pin. She had worn the same outfit all week but each day, on arriving home, would heat up the flat-iron and press out all the creases; afterwards she would hang the two garments very carefully on the picture-rail in her bedroom, where they would stay until morning. On Friday evening she washed them and hung them out to dry in the back yard, before putting them away in the big cupboard in her mam’s room, where they would stay until Monday morning. ‘Shall I go and wake the young ’uns?’ she asked, seeing that the table was laid and the bread-pobs were boiling in the pan on the gas-ring. When her dad was in work, there were boiled eggs and soldiers too, but not now, not any more.

  ‘By! Look at you.’ Lizzie was astonished at how quickly Ruby had got herself ready. ‘What’s the hurry, eh?’ She winked cheekily and into her mind came the image of that nice young man, Johnny Ackroyd. The whole street knew about the love-hate relationship between these two. Lizzie had longed hoped that in the fullness of time Fate might smile favourably on them, because she knew that if Ruby were to search far and wide, she would be hard put to find a more suitable and hard-working young fellow. ‘You ain’t looking to walk the length of Fisher Street on the arm of young Mr Ackroyd, are yer?’ she asked mischievously, adding in a more serious voice, ‘You’re too young yet for serious thoughts, my girl!’

  ‘Don’t be daft, our mam,’ Ruby chided, and a hot blush suffused her face until she wished the earth would open and swallow her whole. ‘It’s just that I want to catch the first tram this morning.’

  Lizzie’s eyes popped open in surprise. ‘Oh? Why’s that?’

  ‘No particular reason, except I might get paid extra if I show up early.’ She wasn’t about to reveal the real reason for wanting to get to the big house before Mr Banks left for his office. Not when she suspected her mam’s strong views would swiftly put paid to her little idea.

  ‘I shouldn’t count on it, my girl,’ Lizzie remarked with a cautious smile. ‘In my experience the gentry are more fond of taking than giving. I wouldn’t want you to go working extra hours with the wrong idea that you might get paid for it.’ She cast a suspicious glance on her daughter. ‘Mr Banks hasn’t asked you, has he? To work extra time, I mean?’ Always at the back of her mind was the fact that every minute Ruby spent in Jeffrey Banks’s house was a minute too long. However, there was no chance the lass could find out that he were her father, and it was nigh on impossible that the fellow himself should suspect anything; even though Ruby had a certain look that put Lizzie in mind of Jeffrey Banks… the dark blue eyes that were speckled black, and that particular proud way she held herself. ‘Afore yer go, lass, take a look out in the street and see if Joe’s there.’

  Joe was already halfway down the street and his cart was surrounded by women, each carrying a churn, and each waiting to be served. By the time Ruby got there, most of them were already making their way back to their parlours with a gill of milk securely poured from Joe’s ladle into their cans. The only people still waiting were a young lad and Mrs Donaldson from number ten, a big friendly woman who owned a wardrobe of nice clothes and a parlour that was reputed to be the ‘grandest’ in Fisher Street thanks to her five sons who were all earning. But nobody begrudged her that, because she was a widow, and had never found a man to take her late husband’s place.

  ‘Serve the lass first,’ she told Joe when he’d filled the boy’s can and been paid for it. She smiled at Ruby, noting her smart smock and knowing the girl was employed in one of the big houses off Preston New Road. ‘Off to work, are you?’

  ‘Thank you, Mrs Donaldson. Yes, I mean to catch the first tram if I’m not too late.’

  ‘Best hurry then, eh?’ Mrs Donaldson turned to smile at a neighbour who had joined them. ‘The lass is in a hurry,’ she explained, and while Joe set about filling Ruby’s can, the two women got talking about lace and shawls and feather trimmings, and how the drapers in Ainsworth Street was selling a new range of ‘the cheekiest little hats’. Mrs Donaldson vowed to get herself one that very day, while Mrs Armstrong tutted at the idea. ‘I’ve got much more important things to spend me money on than “cheeky bloody hats”!’ she retorted, swinging round and rolling her eyes at Lizzie who had just come out to send Ruby on her way before the tram went off without her.

  ‘That’ll be tuppence.’ Seeming reluctant to give the full milk-can to Ruby, Joe held out his hand for payment.

  ‘Oh, that’s all right,’ she said cheerfully, stretching out her two arms to take the can from him. ‘Put it on Mam’s bill.’ She hadn’t seen Lizzie come up behind her.

  Joe shook his head and frowned, though his voice was kindly. ‘Sorry, luv. No money, no milk.’

  ‘But you always put it on Mam’s bill!’ Ruby was shocked, and when she realised that everyone standing behind had gone quiet, she blushed red with humiliation. ‘We’re not likely to run away without paying,’ she said, summoning her dignity.

  ‘Can’t do it. There’s too many folk owing me money, and by all accounts your dad ain’t got no work.’

  As far as Ruby was concerned, he had said the wrong thing. Now, when she stared up at him, her dark eyes glittered with tears. ‘That’s only a matter of time,’ she said proudly. ‘But when he does find work, you can be sure of one thing… we won’t be getting our milk from you any more!’ She swung away and was surprised when Lizzie stepped forwar
d to tell the milkman, ‘Joe Leyland, I’m surprised at yer. Haven’t I allus paid me way?’ He nodded and she went on, ‘How do yer expect me to manage with six young ’uns and not a drop of milk in the pantry, eh?’

  ‘Sorry, Mrs Miller, but I’m having to be careful. I’m owed money everywhere, d’you see?’ He seemed relieved when Lizzie nodded her head and dropped her gaze.

  ‘Well, I’m more fortunate than most, so you can put it on my bill.’ Mrs Donaldson snatched the can from his hand and pushed it into Ruby’s. ‘Take yer mam home, lass,’ she said softly.

  Thank you, Mrs Donaldson,’ Ruby said, holding the can out, ‘but we can manage all right.’ Her mam had never accepted charity, and as far as Ruby was concerned, she was not about to start now. If needs be, she would buy milk from Cook and pay out of her wages next week.

  ‘No, child,’ Lizzie’s sad voice intervened as she closed her fingers over Ruby’s small hand and pressed it down until the can was almost touching the floor. ‘We mustn’t be ungrateful.’

  Turning to Mrs Donaldson, she said, ‘It’s very kind of yer, but we can’t accept.’

  ‘Would you do the same for me?’

  Lizzie smiled. ‘Aye,’ she admitted, ‘yer know I would.’

  ‘Then let me help. Treat it as a loan.’

  Lizzie nodded her head. ‘Thank you,’ she murmured. ‘You know I’ll pay yer back soon as ever my husband fetches a wage home. And, God willing, that won’t be too long.’

  ‘Thank you, Lizzie. I’m only doing what any one of us would do for the other. What are good neighbours for, eh?’ Mrs Donaldson’s comment brought a murmur of encouragement from others who had appeared and, as Lizzie began her way home with Ruby at her side, they thanked the Good Lord that their own husbands were still in work, and that he shouldn’t overlook Lizzie Miller in these hard times because she was one of the best.