Nobody’s Darling

by Nobody’s Darling (retail) (epub)

  ‘I know.’ Ruby felt what was in her friend’s heart. She knew what Maureen was trying to say, and the truth was that sometimes she even frightened herself.

  * * *

  That night, Ruby lay awake in her bed, unable to sleep. Maureen’s words dripped into her thoughts like raindrops wearing away a stone. ‘Oh, Ruby, it’s because you love him, and you’re afraid he might make you forget these other things.’ For the very first time she began to wonder whether she was wrong in preferring riches to someone special like Johnny. But then she thought about this tiny house with its cold damp rooms and windows where the rain poured in; she pictured her three brothers in the room across the landing, all sleeping in the same narrow bed and huddling together to keep warm. She thought about the empty food cupboard downstairs, and remembered how her mam had cried herself to sleep so many times. And her resolve was strengthened. Just now there had been a moment, one fleeting moment when she had questioned the wisdom of her ambitions. That was what ‘love’ did. That was why Johnny ‘frightened’ her. And that was why she vowed never again to lose sight of her goal.

  The sound from her parents’ room attracted Ruby’s attention; a low murmuring at first, then the familiar rhythmic squeak as the bed went up and down beneath her dad’s weight. Ruby was embarrassed. She knew about these things, because Meg Brown at school had told how she caught her mam and dad in the act when she went bursting into their room one Sunday morning.

  The sounds from next door intensified and Ruby’s face grew a dark shade of pink. Burying her head in the pillow, she cuddled up to Dolly. Strange pictures rushed through her mind, of her mam and dad, frantic shapes locked together. The sounds grew louder, there was an agonised moan, and then silence.

  Ruby wondered what it was like, to have someone make love to you. Someone like Johnny. The thought had popped into her mind without her realising it. Quickly she thrust it out, wrapped the blanket over her ears and forced herself to think about the clothes that Cicely had promised her. She wondered whether any of them could be made to fit her mam.

  Chapter Four

  Cicely announced her intention to invite Oliver Arnold and his son Luke to the Christmas Eve party.

  Her father’s voice betrayed astonishment but not total disapproval; in fact he seemed a little amused by the idea. ‘Are you saying you really mean to invite Oliver Arnold inside this house? Have you forgotten how he intended to add your inheritance to his own endless list of properties?’

  Cicely smiled and kissed him lightly on the face, ‘No, Father, I haven’t forgotten. But that little war is over now and we have to build bridges. It won’t do to make enemies of our rivals… and there’s nothing wrong with having rivals, you’ve told me that often enough.’

  He laughed. ‘Very true. And, of course, I have it on the best authority that Mr Arnold has abandoned the idea of acquiring the foundry. Any good businessman knows when to give up the ghost, and he must realise by now there was never any chance of him becoming the owner of my foundry.’ Sinking into deep thought, he pursed his lips and played his finger and thumb over his chin, his eyes downcast for the while as he said in a soft voice, ‘Yes, indeed. I feel the man is a little wiser than I gave him credit for. Perhaps, after all, it would be a sensible move… to invite him here and bury old bones, eh?’

  ‘I think so.’ Although she hated being hostess at any time, Cicely was obliged by tradition to arrange this end of year celebration, and had long toyed with the notion of using it as a means by which Mr Arnold and her father might meet on social terms, rather than communicating through solicitors. Indeed, she saw it as a charitable gesture that was long overdue. ‘You have said yourself that, although he has a reputation for being shrewd and tenacious, Mr Arnold has also earned the reputation of being a gentleman, with much the same principles as yourself?’

  ‘So I’m given to understand.’

  ‘And he has abandoned the prospect of buying you out?’

  ‘By all accounts.’ He chuckled, putting his arm round her and walking her to the half-dressed tree. ‘No doubt he saw the measure of my own determination.’

  ‘Then there are no objections to my sending him an invitation?’

  ‘My dear, you are the woman of the house. The guest list has always been your responsibility. And no, I have no objections to speak of.’ At first he had been surprised and reluctant, but now the idea was growing on him by the minute. ‘Do what you think best, my dear.’

  ‘But do you think it’s for the best?’ Cicely sensed that her father was not wholeheartedly convinced.

  He looked at her then, a long hard look that betrayed his deep love for her. ‘What I think is this… you and me are two of a kind, Cicely Banks, too forgiving and soft-hearted by half.’ He put his hands on her shoulders and held her at arms’ length. ‘You don’t like us having enemies, do you, child?’ he asked lovingly.

  ‘I think it’s a great pity that we can’t see the best in each other.’

  He gazed at her with a father’s pride. ‘You make me feel ashamed,’ he told her, his eyes darkening when he warned in a serious voice, ‘It’s a sad truth but sometimes we do come across people who are all bad. You’re such a gentle, trusting soul, child. I pray no one will ever take advantage of that.’

  When she seemed troubled by his words, he shook her gently, his wide smile beaming down on her. ‘But of course you’re right. Yes! Yes, indeed! I think it’s a very good idea to invite Arnold Oliver. Oh, and his son of course. By all means add them to the guest list.’ He chuckled, and she could almost see him thinking. ‘Besides, I do believe it could be fun,’ he said mischievously, and when she began outlining her plans, bent his head to hers and concentrated on her every word. He was well aware that she was apprehensive about the occasion, although he was immensely proud of the fact that she grew more capable and accomplished with every such event.

  Suddenly, Ruby came rushing into the hall, breathless and excited and carrying a large wicker basket which hid her from sight. ‘I found it!’ she cried, surging forward and almost going headlong when she caught her toe in the carpet-edge. ‘I found the old decorations. Oh, but what a business! I tell you Miss Cicely, I hope you never send me up the attic again. A draught from above blew the lamp out and it was pitch black, except for the chink of moonlight coming in through the hole in the roof-tiles.’

  She was obviously unnerved by the experience, ‘And, do you know, I swear I could hear rats scurrying about. I didn’t waste much time, I can tell you. I found what I was looking for and then I took myself out of there like the devil was after me…’ She peeped round the side of the basket and was even more flustered when she saw the master looking at her with curious eyes.

  ‘Oh, I’m sorry, sir,’ she remarked, ‘I didn’t know you were here.’

  She realised she might have interrupted a deep discussion between father and daughter. ‘I’ve been helping Miss Cicely to decorate the tree,’ she explained, pushing the basket from her with the intention of carefully setting it down before she departed. Instead, it fell from her arms and clattered to the floor, spilling its contents across her feet.

  ‘I am sorry, sir.’ She apologised, her aching arms falling to her sides. She stared from one to the other, feeling a fit of giggles coming on when she saw that Cicely was trying not to laugh. Ruby wasn’t to know what a sight she looked, with her dishevelled hair covered in cobwebs and her apron belt dangling lopsidedly to her boot; there were dusty marks all over her uniform, and a smut of dirt reaching from one side of her face to the other.

  ‘No, leave it, child.’ Jeffrey Banks stepped forward when Ruby stooped to retrieve the paper and glitter that was strewn across her feet. On seeing him come towards her, she straightened up and feared the worst. Fancy barging in like that, when these two were talking privately. He was standing before her now, surveying her from top to toe, and when he spoke, she was relieved to hear it was in tones of amusement. ‘Good heavens, child. You look as if you’ve been twice up the chimney and
back down again.’

  ‘Yes, sir.’ Out of the corner of her eye, Ruby could see Cicely smiling, and prayed that the tickling feeling in her own stomach would not erupt into laughter, because while the master was kindly, he would never tolerate such rude behaviour.

  ‘I’ll have the roof-tile fixed, of course.’

  ‘Yes, sir.’

  ‘We can’t have the wind and rain coming in and rotting the timbers, can we now, eh?’

  ‘No, sir.’

  ‘Still, you found what you wanted, and you’re to be commended.’

  ‘Yes, sir.’

  He looked at her more closely, scrutinising her lovely face, and seeming to search for something there. Suddenly time fled away and he was looking at her mother; Ruby had the same trim figure that Lizzie had had at her age, and the same proud presence. He remembered how she had felt in his arms on the night when they had made illicit love, when each was married to another and he the father of that little girl who was now Cicely, woman of the house. So many years, so much had happened between, and still he suffered a deal of affection for the young maid who had worked in this house and whom he had taken shameful advantage of, although he believed with all his heart that Lizzie had loved him too. There were days and nights when he had fought hard against his instincts to persuade her away from her husband. Even now, deep down inside, he still regretted the day when she turned her back on him; even though she had since become a plump and motherly soul. He and she had come face to face some two years back when he was walking through the town. He knew her at once, and there was still a great warmth between them. Her eyes were still bright and pretty, and she had that certain feminine way that attracted a man and made him feel comfortable inside. He had wanted so much to talk with her, but Lizzie appeared greatly flustered, hurrying away before he could stop her.

  ‘Shall I clear the mess away now, sir?’ Both Cicely and Ruby were puzzled by his long silence.

  He felt his face colour, and was smitten with a cruel pang of conscience as he brought his attention back to her. What would Lizzie’s daughter say, he wondered, if she knew how he had seduced her mother? He liked the name by which Lizzie had called her. Ruby was a handsome name, with a particular strength. The girl had the most marvellous eyes, deepest blue and marbled with black… they were fathomless. He thought how they were nothing like her mother’s eyes; oddly enough, he clearly recalled Lizzie’s eyes which were not particularly unique but the warmest, prettiest shade of brown.

  Suddenly a great feeling of loneliness came over him and he longed to see her again. It didn’t matter that she was not slim or young any more. All that mattered was that they had shared wonderful moments together; perhaps even more wonderful because they were forbidden. It wasn’t just a master taking advantage of his maidservant. Lizzie Miller had made him feel like a real man, and he truly loved her. He wondered if he did still. He wondered also whether he would ever shake off the memory of Lizzie. ‘Your mother was maidservant here, did you know that?’ he asked in a strained voice. ‘You bring the same delight into this house as she did.’

  Such was the strangeness of his voice that Ruby was made to stare at him and Cicely actually stepped forward. At once he sensed their curiosity and smiled brightly, saying, ‘But of course you know. If I remember rightly, you gave your mother as a reference when you applied?’

  ‘I did, sir.’

  ‘And is she well?’ He was greatly relieved that the moment had passed, and warned himself never to lower his guard like that again.

  ‘She’s very well, sir, thank you.’

  ‘Like yourself, she was a very valued member of this household. You do her proud. Tell her that, won’t you?’

  ‘Thank you, sir. I will.’

  ‘Good!’ He began to turn away. ‘Very well then. I’ll leave you two young people to your task.’

  ‘Excuse me, sir.’ When he stopped and turned to face her, Ruby came forward.

  ‘What is it, child?’

  ‘I want to thank you… for helping my dad to get a job in your foundry.’

  Seeming embarrassed, he waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. ‘No need to thank me,’ he said abruptly. He glanced at Ruby and thought again of Lizzie, then he smiled at his daughter and thought of her mother, the woman who had deserted them both. The comparison was painful to him, and he went quickly from the room.

  When the tree was dressed, Cicely took Ruby up to her room. ‘These are for you,’ she said. One by one she brought out a number of dresses and laid them gently over the brass bedhead.

  Ruby could hardly believe her eyes. The dresses were the loveliest she had ever seen. There was a sea green one with black lace at the hem and throat, a slimmer cream-coloured one with a little evening bag to match, a blue one with a huge flouncy skirt, and a most beautiful dress in richest burgundy, with layer upon layer of fine ribbon encircling the skirt from hem to waist. ‘Oh!’ That was all she could say, because the breath caught in her throat and choked her. She felt the tears well up in her eyes as she collected the burgundy gown and pressed it to her face; it felt like smooth running water against her skin.

  ‘Try it on.’ Cicely was excited, taking Ruby by the hand and ushering her to the long mirror where she told her, ‘Look! Oh, Ruby, it’s just the right colour for you. Try it on. Do try it on!’

  ‘I can’t. I’ve still got a deal of work to do before I’m finished, and Cook will be chasing after me any minute now.’

  ‘Then we’ll just have to chase her away, won’t we?’ Cicely laughed. She was thoroughly enjoying herself. ‘Oh, Ruby. You must try it on. Please?’ Seeing how Ruby was just itching to try the dress on, she began undoing the buttons on the back of her work-dress. ‘With your dark eyes and rich brown hair, the colour is perfect for you.’ She chatted on, working quickly to undress the slim small figure. ‘Of course, it will need to be shortened and altered here and there, but you’re not to worry about that. I’ll arrange for the dressmaker to come in and we’ll get you a fitting.’ She looked in the mirror and saw her own excitement reflected in Ruby’s face. Somehow it made her sad. ‘You’re so lovely, Ruby… far more beautiful that I could ever be. You should always be dressed in the finest gowns that money can buy.’

  Ruby shivered exquisitely as the gown touched her bare shoulders. ‘Don’t say that,’ she chastised gently. ‘I think you are beautiful.’ Just like the china doll in the window, she thought.

  Cicely made no reply. She knew her own limitations, and knew too that Ruby was very special. It had often crossed her mind how cruel Fate was, to give one girl such beauty yet place her where she might never know the better things in life, and to make another girl merely plain and pleasant, with all the money and material things that she could ever want. But then she reminded herself of how she had only her father, while Ruby had her family, a family she doted on. Life was a strange and unpredictable carousel of ups and downs, and it was a great pity when some people had more than their fair share of downs. ‘Let me look at you,’ she said, dashing with her handkerchief at the smut on Ruby’s face.

  Taking up the silver-backed hair-brush from the dresser, she swept it through Ruby’s thick dark-brown hair. Then she fastened the last button at the tiny waist and fluffed out the sleeves of the gown before drawing Ruby into the centre of the room. ‘Where I can see you better,’ she explained, stepping back to take a look. And she looked so wonderful that Cicely was moved to cry out, ‘Oh, Ruby! You look like a princess.’ Even though the hem of the dress trailed on the carpet, and the sleeves were too long, the gown might have been made for her. It was as though wearing it had touched something deep inside her, making her especially vibrant and grand; she appeared much taller and wonderfully elegant. Her hair shone in the light from the window, and her eyes glowed like burning embers. She was proud and defiant and exquisite, and Cicely was suddenly afraid that she had unlocked some dark and wonderful demon. ‘You look… different,’ she said, her voice quiet and strangely reverent. In all her life she had
never seen such loveliness.

  ‘I feel wonderful!’ Ruby cried, spinning round and round until she was dizzy. ‘Oh, Miss Cicely. I never dreamed I would own anything so fine.’ When she came to a stop, Ruby was laughing so much she was crying, ‘How can I ever thank you?’ she asked sincerely.

  Cicely’s answer was to grab Ruby in her arms and dance her round the room. ‘By coming to the Christmas Eve celebrations, that’s how!’ she replied, breathless with excitement. The idea had occurred to her in the moment when she first saw Ruby in the gown, and already she was having fun thinking about how the other guests would react to Ruby’s flawless beauty. ‘Everyone will think you’re the most exquisite creature they’ve ever seen.’ She brought Ruby to a halt and stared at her with wide childlike eyes. ‘Oh, Ruby, you know how I hate these parties. Please say you’ll come? It will be such a treat for both of us.’

  Ruby was thrilled and horrified all at the same time. ‘I can’t do that,’ she protested. ‘Whatever would your father say? And my mam too?’ she added with a shock.

  ‘They won’t say anything, because we won’t tell them.’

  ‘But they’ll find out, and then there’ll be hell to pay,’ Ruby said. Her stomach was turning somersaults and she wanted to fling her arms round Cicely’s neck and shout: ‘I DON’T CARE WHAT THEY SAY.’ But she was afraid. And she was angry because she was afraid.

  Cicely was laughing. ‘Oh, what fun! Can you imagine their faces when I bring you in? All the young men will be panting to meet you, and every woman in the room will hate you at first sight.’

  ‘You devil. You’ll get us both locked up,’ Ruby chided, but in her mind’s eye she could see it all: the music playing from the stand, the guests all dressed in their finery, then she would sweep in beside the hostess and all eyes would turn in their direction. It wouldn’t frighten her. She wouldn’t want to hide behind Cicely. Instead she would be proud and defiant, and she would look them in the eyes and say in her mind, ‘This is me, and I’m as good as any of you.’ Oh, how wonderful it would be! The thought excited her beyond reason. ‘Oh, Cicely, you’re right. It would be fun,’ she had to agree.