Nobody’s Darling

by Nobody’s Darling (retail) (epub)

  Maureen had heard Ruby refer to the other maid-servant before, and now she voiced her curiosity. ‘Why do you call her “the wretched girl”?’ she asked. ‘Doesn’t she have a name?’

  Ruby thought about that at length. Presently she replied with a frown, ‘I did once ask her what her name was, but she didn’t tell me. So, if she does have another name, I don’t know it. I’ve only ever heard Cook call her “the wretched girl”. “Do this, you wretched girl. Do that, you wretched girl.” She doesn’t seem to mind anyway,’ Ruby said with a bright smile.

  ‘Well, I would!’ Maureen declared with astonishment. But her astonishment reverted to curiosity as she returned to the question of the party. ‘Did Cook ask whether you would be waiting on at the party?’

  Yes. But Cicely just told her not to concern herself about anything, that it was all taken care of.’

  Well, I never!’ Maureen’s eyes grew big and round as Ruby’s story began to take shape. ‘Aren’t you afraid of being amongst all them fancy folk, and pretending to be someone you’re not?’ The very idea of walking into a roomful of such people filled her with dread. ‘Oh, Ruby, I don’t think you should. What if the master recognises you? He’s bound to wonder. You could lose your work.’ She hesitated, another possibility filling her with a worse horror. ‘You could even be put in prison if you’re found out.’

  Ruby was unmoved. She had already said all these things to Cicely, and was assured there was no danger of anyone finding out the truth. There was only one person who could put a stop to it now, and Ruby prayed that she was being talked round at this very moment. ‘It’s up to our dad now,’ she murmured hopefully.

  ‘Tell me about the dress again.’ Seeing that Ruby would not be talked out of it, Maureen let herself be drawn in and, as Ruby told her over again, the whole exciting plan became an adventure, a wonderful secret between the two of them, something that could only happen once in a lifetime, a tale to tell their children, and the children that came after.

  Johnny was on his way up the stairs when he heard Ruby saying goodnight. He met her at the top of the stairs. ‘Aw, you’re not going yet, are you?’ he asked. ‘I was hoping to sit with you and Maureen awhile. Afterwards, I was going to walk you home.’ He glanced down at the cup in his hand. Thankfully, the milky liquid was still steaming. ‘I’m just on my way up with Maureen’s drink. I’ll not be a minute. Will you wait?’

  Above them the lamp burned softly, bathing them in a warm halo of light. He thought he had never seen Ruby more lovely, nor more vulnerable, ‘Let me walk you home,’ he asked in a whisper, his arms aching to hold her. In this moment, with her dark eyes glowing and her hair tousled, she seemed like a small child. And his fear for her was tenfold.

  ‘I’d like that,’ she answered softly, smiling when she saw that her reply had surprised him. His closeness was strangely comforting to her; little things she had never noticed before sent a thrill through her senses. The brush of his trousers against her skirt, the way his shirt-sleeves were rolled up over the thickness of his arms, with the top buttons undone to show the broad strength of his chest. He was a good deal taller than her, and when he looked down with those magnificent eyes, she felt herself trembling. He was so close, so very close. In her mind’s eye she saw his arms reach out, she felt them wind around her, she remembered his kiss, and suddenly she wanted him to kiss her again. It was her eyes that told him. Those sea blue eyes that lit her whole face with emotion, raising such hopes in him that he could hardly breathe.

  Slowly, he bent his head, touching his mouth against hers. When he felt her press into him, he placed the cup on the step above and slid his two arms round her waist, drawing her into him. ‘Wait for me,’ he murmured against her mouth, and she shuddered in his arms. A long wonderful moment when they stayed locked in each other’s arms and then he was going up the stairs two at a time. At the top he glanced back to make sure she was still there. When he saw that she was, he went quickly to Maureen’s room where he put the cup into her hands.

  ‘It’s nearly cold,’ she remarked with surprise. Normally when Johnny brought her late-night drink it was piping hot. When he apologised, she looked at him with a curious expression. He was breathless, and his handsome face was deeply flushed. Of course! Now she understood. ‘Did you meet Ruby on the way down?’ she asked mischievously.

  He prepared to give an answer that would allay her suspicions, but she was smiling, teasing, and he knew she’d guessed. ‘You little vixen!’ he laughed.

  ‘You’d best not keep her waiting,’ she warned, ‘Ruby’s like the shadows on the wall. One minute she’s here, and then she’s gone.’

  Without a word, he rushed out. Even before he reached the top of the stairs he knew she was not there. The warmth had gone from the house. The magic she always brought with her had evaporated, like the shadows Maureen had described. He fled down the stairs two at a time, along the passage and out into the street, just in time to see her disappear into her own house. He called but it was too late. Behind him he could hear his mother’s voice. Sadly, he returned to her.

  ‘Whatever’s the matter with you?’ she demanded. ‘Rushing out of the house like that, and leaving the door open when there’s such a cold breeze?’ A thought occurred to her. ‘Ruby’s gone, has she? He looked at her without speaking. ‘Have you two had words?’ she wanted to know.

  ‘I wanted to see her home safely, that’s all,’ he explained. ‘I’m sorry for leaving the door open.’ He brushed past her, but she laid her hand on his shoulder.

  ‘Is there anything between you two that I need to worry about?’ she wanted to know.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  Oh, I think you know what I mean,’ she replied impatiently. Ruby’s what?… fifteen? The pair of you are far too young to be thinking serious.’

  He touched her hand, and when he spoke the corners of his mouth were uplifted in a wry little smile. ‘Listen to you,’ he chided. ‘And who was it that got wed at sixteen?’

  She was cornered and she knew it. ‘Oh, all right, son. But if I could turn the clock back, I would have waited longer. Besides, things were different then.’ She thought about her husband, and her mood saddened. ‘Don’t rush into anything,’ she pleaded softly. ‘If you get the lass in trouble, you’ll have to wed her whether you like it or not. How does the old saying go? “Marry in haste, repent at leisure”.’

  He looked at her anxious face, and was sorry. All the same, she couldn’t know how he felt about Ruby, how he had felt these many years, ever since she was old enough to toddle down the street holding hands with him. He could never envisage a future without Ruby at the heart of it. Tonight she had given him hope, and then cruelly snatched it away. Yet she wasn’t cruel, only misguided, and driven by something he could never understand. A great weight pulled his spirit down. ‘Leave it be, Mam. Ruby’s all right.’

  ‘I never said she wasn’t… only that you were both too young.’

  ‘Do you want me to wait up for Dad?’

  ‘No. You’ve to be up early in the morning.’ Realising he had deliberately changed the subject, she wisely went along with it. ‘Didn’t you say that old Thomas has need of you this Christmas Eve? Something about the carriage and horses being got ready to take Oliver Arnold and his family to a particular party?’

  ‘That’s right, Mam.’

  ‘Goodnight then.’

  ‘Goodnight, Mam.’ He bent down to kiss her. ‘If he’s not in soon, wake me and I’ll go and find him,’ he told her.

  ‘I’ll do no such thing!’ she retorted. ‘If he isn’t in soon, I’m going to my own bed and your father can bloody well stay out.’ She closed the door and followed him down the passage. She watched him go upstairs, his broad shoulders stooped and a heaviness to his steps. And she knew that it was all for Ruby.

  Upstairs, Johnny sat on the edge of his sister’s bed, his face confirming Maureen’s suspicions. ‘She wasn’t there when you went down, was she?’ she asked kindly.

&nb
sp; ‘No.’

  ‘Did you go after her?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘She chose not to wait. It was her decision.’

  ‘Ruby doesn’t always make the right decision. She’s impulsive.’

  ‘I know it.’

  ‘She is fond of you though.’

  He looked up then, his dark eyes searching her face, ‘Has she told you that?’

  Not wanting to betray her friend’s confidence, she answered simply, ‘I just know, that’s all.’

  His strong fingers wrapped over hers as he said in a warm voice, ‘I shouldn’t be confiding my troubles in you, Sis. You’ve got enough to contend with.’

  She looked at him for a while, thinking how much she loved these two. Ruby and Johnny were made for each other, yet there was always something that kept them apart. But they were very young, time was on their side and she would not despair. ‘The day you stop confiding in me, I’ll shrivel up and die,’ she said, patting the back of his hand.

  ‘I’ll pretend you never said that,’ he remarked grimly. Then, ‘I expect Ruby confides in you too, doesn’t she?’ he asked hopefully.

  ‘And if she does, you wouldn’t want me to break a confidence, would you?’

  He shook his head and smiled. ‘Only if it was to my advantage,’ he replied cheekily. When she remained silent, he told her in a serious voice, ‘I’m glad you have Ruby for a friend. But then she and I are both lucky to have you. A man couldn’t have a finer sister.’ He reached out and drew her head on to his shoulder, his fingers lovingly stroking her hair. ‘I pray for the day when you can go out, Sis,’ he murmured.

  ‘Where will you take me?’

  ‘Where would you like to go?’

  ‘Corporation Park… a picnic!’ She twisted her neck to look up at him. ‘I’d love to go on a picnic, Johnny… you, me and Ruby.’ Excitement rushed through her at the thought. Then, to his horror, her breath caught in a sob and she was taken by a coughing fit.

  Cradling his two hands over her thin shoulders, he eased her away, gently pressing her head into the pillow. ‘You’ve had a long day, sweetheart,’ he said firmly. ‘And I’m all kinds of a fool for keeping you awake.’ He kissed her on the forehead, ‘Goodnight, God bless.’

  She gazed up at him with soulful eyes, ‘Don’t worry too much about her, Johnny.’

  ‘I won’t,’ he promised. ‘Now get off to sleep.’ Her eyes flickered and closed. ‘Goodnight, Sis,’ he murmured, then took the candle from the bedside cupboard and placed it on the dresser at the far side of the room. When his mother came up to check Maureen, she would take it away with her.

  In his narrow room next door, Johnny lay awake for some long time, listening for his father to come home, thinking of Maureen and praying that she would get well. But, most of all, his heart was filled with thoughts of Ruby. Maureen had asked him to ‘look out for her’, and it was this that was playing on his mind. Tomorrow night Ruby would be mingling with the gentry. How in God’s name could he keep an eye on her there, when he was duty bound to old Thomas and Arnold House? And, even if he wasn’t working, he could never get within a mile of her, what with Cicely Banks there, and the gentry all around. Maureen was right to be afraid for her strong-minded friend because she was playing a very dangerous game. But when Ruby made up her mind to do something, hell and high water wouldn’t stop her, he thought savagely. Yet she was his whole life, and he could no more give up on her than he could stop breathing.

  Maureen dreamed awhile, stirred then woke. Ruby was still on her mind, so real it was as though she was there in the room with her. ‘Look after her, Lord,’ she asked. ‘Sometimes she has strange notions of grandeur, and she’s so determined to make life easier for her family. She can never do that, you and I know it. But you have to make her know it too. Deep down, she’s good and well-meaning so, please, Lord, don’t let her come to no harm.’

  Downstairs, Mrs Ackroyd waited for her wandering husband to come home. She was tired of these vigils. Her mind turned to thoughts of her daughter. She gave thanks to God that Maureen was making progress. It would be wonderful when the girl could go outside, but now that winter was rushing in with a vengeance, it would probably be spring before she could feel the sun on her face. Still, she was never lonely. Johnny spent many an hour with her. And it was good that Ruby came so often to sit with her. She was a fine and thoughtful creature, who had always been a loyal friend to Maureen.

  Suddenly, Mrs Ackroyd recalled how Johnny had rushed into the street just now, leaving the door wide open behind him. He had deliberately given her the impression that he had walked Ruby home, when in fact it was plain to see that he must have been rushing after her. There was something brewing between these two, she thought, and them so young, so inexperienced. Yet, for all that, Johnny was a man, the breadwinner in this house, and he had a mind of his own. All the same, she couldn’t help but feel that there would be tears before there was laughter.

  In that quiet house, the thoughts of three people found a common bond. And the house was alive with Ruby’s presence.

  * * *

  ‘Get off, before I change me mind!’ Lizzie grabbed the infant from Ruby’s arms. ‘Go on. I’ll see to the young ’uns. And get a move on or you’ll have to run like the wind to catch that tram.’ Ruby got her coat from the nail behind the door. ‘If you’re sure, our mam,’ she said, going to Dolly and giving her a hug. She would have hugged the twins, but they pushed her away, ‘Gerrof. We’re not babies!’ they protested in unison. Lenny was wolfing down his breakfast, but made time to glare at her. ‘You’d better not hug me neither,’ he warned. And looking at his miserable face, Ruby thought there were umpteen things she would rather do.

  Dolly sprang from her chair and ran to be hugged a second time. ‘I want you to come home tonight,’ she wailed.

  ‘Aw.’ Ruby held her tight. ‘Will you miss me then?’

  ‘Yes, ’cause there won’t be nobody to keep me warm.’

  ‘You ain’t sleeping with us,’ the twins yelled.

  ‘I don’t want to,’ Dolly replied indignantly. ‘You’ve got stinky feet.’ At that there was uproar, and after rushing into the scullery to fetch the rolling-pin, Lizzie banged it on the table. ‘Which one of yer wants to cause trouble then?’ she asked, glaring from one to the other and daring them to speak out. The silence was deafening until the infant started screaming and thrashing in Lizzie’s arms. ‘Go on, our Ruby,’ her mother cried impatiently, plonking herself in the chair and pulling out a withered old tit which she crammed into the child’s mouth. ‘And mind you keep an account of yer hours. We don’t want the buggers short-changing yer.’

  Shrugging herself into her coat, Ruby came over to where her mam was seated. Lizzie’s words might have put the fear of God into her, but she had mentioned to Cicely that her mam would be looking for extra wages if she didn’t come home on Christmas Eve. Cicely had got it all in hand, so everything was all right, ‘I’ll be back tomorrow, Mam,’ she said, fastening her arms round Lizzie’s neck, then stiffened against her. ‘Sorry, Mam,’ she said softly. ‘I know you’re angry I gave my word without asking you first.’ In that moment she was riddled with guilt. She had a strong urge to spill out the truth. But she stopped herself. ‘Miss Cicely said she’ll see I get home all right tomorrow.’ As Cicely had rightly pointed out, there was no transport on Christmas Day.

  Lizzie shook her away. ‘She’ll do no such thing, my girl!’ she said angrily. ‘I’ll not have you turning up in this street in some fancy carriage. Besides, you’ve not been asked to work on Christmas Day, have yer?’

  ‘No. The family are going out straight after breakfast, visiting an old aunt, and they won’t be back until late.’

  ‘Right. So, I’ll expect you home no later than mid-day. And not in no posh carriage neither, ’cause you’ll walk. After all, it’s no more than two or three mile from Billenge End to Fisher Street.’

  ‘It’s more like five!’ Lenny interru
pted with a snigger. ‘But it’ll serve her right.’ Lizzie shut him up with a withering glance. ‘You’d best get off,’ she told Ruby. ‘You’re wasting precious time.’ She bent her head to the infant and kept it there, even when she sensed Ruby glancing back at her just before she went into the passage and out of the house.

  ‘I’m sorry, lass,’ she murmured beneath the ensuing bedlam. ‘But I don’t hold with yer sleeping at no gentry’s house, an’ I never will.’ All the same, even when she was yelling at the young ’uns to: ‘Stop yer noise or I’ll tan yer arses!’ she was thinking of her eldest daughter. In fact, it took only a few minutes before she deeply regretted not saying cheerio with a better heart.

  Putting the infant into its bed, she rushed down the passage. ‘Ruby!’ she called out. ‘Ruby, lass!’ She flung the door open and looked anxiously down the street. There was a stream of mill-workers, and others going to the foundry, but there was no sign of her bonny child. ‘Damn and bugger it, Lizzie Miller!’ she moaned. ‘Yer an old fool, and yer should be ashamed.’

  Dejected, she returned to the parlour where Dolly told her with tearful eyes, ‘You never kissed our Ruby goodbye.’ ‘Never mind, sweetheart,’ Lizzie told her, ‘I’ll hug her twice over when she comes home the morrow, and we’ll bake her a nice little cake for her birthday. What d’yer say to that, eh?’ Dolly laughed and clapped her hands. ‘Can I put a silver threepence in it?’ she cried jubilantly.

  ‘We’ll see, lass. Happen I’ve got one tucked away in me purse somewhere.’

  ‘Huh!’ Lenny snorted, giving the table leg a sound kick. ‘I never got a silver threepence on my birthday.’

  ‘That’s because Dad got you a pair of boxing gloves from the tatter-man, and they cost fourpence,’ Frank reminded him.