Nobody’s Darling

by Nobody’s Darling (retail) (epub)

  At first, Ruby was stunned. In all the heated arguments she and Cicely had exchanged with regard to Luke, never once had Ruby seen beneath that cool exterior. She saw beneath it now though, and suddenly the truth came to her like a bolt out of the blue.

  ‘You know?’ she murmured, disbelievingly. ‘You know he’s bad, don’t you?’

  Ruby wondered whether her own insistence over these past weeks had made Cicely think hard. Or had she somehow discovered for herself that the man she was to marry was a cheat and a womaniser?

  ‘I wouldn’t lie to you,’ she promised. ‘Everything I’ve said about him is true.’ If ever there was a time to show Cicely just how evil he was, it had to be now. Now, while she was vulnerable and uncertain, while she was open to the truth at last. ‘And yes, he did as good as tell me that he was using you to get at your father’s money. There’s a lot of hate in him, don’t you see? There’s something wrong with him. Something dangerous. Oh, Cicely, send him on his way. Be rid of him once and for all. There’ll be a young man for you one day, good and worthy of you. Not him, though. Not Luke Arnold.’

  ‘Is that all?’ Cicely’s voice was cold now.

  For a long awful moment, Ruby wondered whether she should tell of that night in the alley. It was a strange and inexplicable thing, but she felt dirtied by that incident. Time and again she had looked back over it and searched her heart. Was there any time when she might have given a glance, one look, that could have given him the impression that she was easy game? Always the answer came back: No. All she had ever felt for Luke was a certain revulsion. But wait, she reminded herself. Wasn’t there just one moment, one fleeting instant when she thought him deeply attractive? She closed her mind against such disturbing thoughts. Cicely was waiting. Would she tell or wouldn’t she?

  Ruby faced those startling blue eyes with a fierce strength. Reluctantly, she spoke out. ‘I know he doesn’t love you, Cicely.’ Every word was bitter on her tongue. ‘I know it because he’s even made approaches to me. One evening some time back, when I missed my tram… he…’ She hesitated, but if she didn’t thrust that last awful truth home, Ruby knew that the moment would be gone and it would be too late. ‘It was dark. He waited for me… pushed me into the alley.’ She hated herself, but if she could make Cicely see sense, it would be worth it. ‘He said he wanted me. If I hadn’t managed to get away,’ she closed her eyes at the memory, ‘God only knows what might have happened.’

  While Ruby was speaking, the tears were flowing down Cicely’s face. She didn’t doubt Ruby’s words because she had seen the way Luke’s eyes were drawn to her when he thought no one was watching. Deep down, Cicely knew that he was a womaniser, and possibly that he did have ulterior motives for marrying her. But, like all women in love, she tried not to see the obvious. It was far less painful to pretend. And anyway, she had high hopes that, once they were married, he would make a good and loyal husband. To her mind, a life with Luke was better than the lonely existence she suffered now. She could not send him away. Nor could she let the world know her humiliation; especially not Ruby, who was unusually perceptive, and would fight tooth and nail for her friends. The last thing Cicely wanted was for Ruby to come between her and Luke. And so she fought for at least a semblance of dignity. ‘You’re a liar.’

  ‘You know I’m not.’

  ‘Leave me. I want you out of my sight… out of this house.’

  ‘You’re dismissing me?’ Ruby could hardly believe her ears. Her only intention had been to show Cicely what she was letting herself in for, and somehow it had all rebounded.

  ‘Get your things and leave. Your wages will be sent on to you.’

  It was painful for Cicely to send Ruby away, but she had been left with no choice. If it was all to come right between her and Luke, it was better for Ruby to be out of the way. Out of his way. Ruby loved her, she knew that. She knew also that she would never find a truer friend. But it was Luke she wanted now, and only him. These past months he had crept up on her like a disease, until suddenly there was no room in her life for anyone else. She was shocked to find that also included her own dear father. In that moment she realised just how much she was sacrificing for this man whom she hardly knew. But then, where love was concerned, the heart dictated and all reason flew out the window.

  ‘Do you really want me to go… and never come back?’ Ruby’s dark eyes were like a blue turbulent ocean as she looked up at this woman who had been so close to her.

  Cicely couldn’t bear to see Ruby’s face, and so she turned away. ‘I never want to see you again,’ she murmured. ‘And if I hear you have spoken to my father about any of this, I will never forgive you.’ Behind her the hush was deafening. She heard the soft footsteps going across the room, and it took all of her will-power not to turn about and call Ruby back. Then she thought of Luke, and he was all that mattered now. The door closed. She went to the armchair and sank into it.

  ‘I’m sorry, Ruby,’ she whispered. ‘I can’t lose him because of you.’ There were no tears now. Her face was set like stone. She closed her eyes and gave herself up to thoughts of her wedding. Somehow, though, all her excitement was gone. Instead she felt only anxiety, and a determination to be so good a wife to him that he would never want to part from her.

  * * *

  At the bottom of the stairs, Ruby paused to look back. The full implications of the scene in Cicely’s room had only just sunk in. ‘I never want to see you again’, that’s what Cicely had said! Stunned, she sat on the bottom step, her head bent into her hands. It was really true. She was dismissed, and she was never to set foot in this house again.

  ‘God almighty, what have I done?’ she asked herself. Now she would not be able to keep an eye on Cicely as she had planned. At one time there had been mention of her going with Cicely, should she and Luke find themselves a new house. Now she would be at his mercy. ‘You’re a big mouth, Ruby Miller,’ she told herself. ‘When will you ever learn?’ Another thought struck her so hard that she sat up straight and cried out loud, ‘Whatever will I tell me mam?’

  Jeffrey Banks was rounding the corner from his study when he heard her. ‘Is everything all right, Ruby?’ he asked, striding towards her.

  Flustered by his sudden appearance, she sprang up to face him. ‘Sorry, sir?’ she muttered. She was thoroughly miserable, and it showed. ‘I were just thinking out loud.’

  ‘You’re upset about something, I can see that, Ruby.’ There was something not quite right here, he thought. His glance went up the stairs in the direction of Cicely’s room before coming back to examine Ruby’s face. ‘Do you want to talk about it?’

  ‘Not really, sir.’

  He smiled in that kindly way she had come to know. ‘I might be able to help,’ he suggested. ‘Whatever it is, I’m sure it can’t be all that bad.’

  Ruby took a deep breath. ‘I’ve been dismissed, sir.’ He would know soon enough anyway.

  Visibly shocked, Jeffrey told her to: ‘Make your way to my study. I’ll be along in a moment.’ He waited until Ruby had done as she was bid, after which he went up the stairs and into Cicely’s room.

  Outside, the wretched girl scurried along the landing, gaily flicking her feather duster over the many paintings that lined the walls. When she came to Cicely’s room and heard the raised voices, she glanced furtively about. Then, satisfied that she was alone, bent her ear to the keyhole. ‘Well, I never!’ she declared, ‘Well, I never!’

  A few minutes later she was tripping her way down the stairs and into the kitchen, where she related the entire episode to Cook. ‘Ruby’s been sent packing,’ she said, all wide-eyed and excited. ‘The master’s upstairs now, taking Miss Cicely to task, but she won’t give way. “I can’t have her around any more.” That’s what she told him. ‘‘Ruby’s become too full of herself, and it’s no good sending her below stairs because she’s been spoiled, and there’s no longer anywhere she can suitably fit into this household.”’

  Cook was ecstatic. ‘I knew it!’ s
he cried jubilantly. ‘I knew that young woman would overstep the mark.’ She returned her attention to rolling out the pastry. ‘I told her didn’t I, eh?’ she demanded. ‘“It’ll all end in tears,” that’s what I said. And now it has. She was so pleased that she could hardly contain herself. In fact, the wretched girl was startled out of her wits, when Cook suddenly instructed her to, ‘Sit yourself down, girl. We’ll partake of a drop o’ brandy together.’

  * * *

  Jeffrey Banks waited for an answer. When none was forthcoming, he repeated his question. ‘What happened between you two, Ruby?’ He was standing in his study, with Ruby facing him. ‘You’ve always been such good friends.’ He couldn’t understand it. Just now when he spoke to Cicely, he had been distressed to see how adamant she was.

  ‘I’d rather not say, sir.’

  ‘I’m deeply disappointed, Ruby.’ She was barely an arm’s reach away, and he was amazed at her beauty. The night of the party, when he had foolishly allowed that little charade, there had been many comments from the other guests. Astonishing comments that had made him think for a long time afterwards. To save face and deter the curious, Ruby had been introduced as being close to the family. Strangely enough, not once, but many times the observation was made to him that she bore a strong resemblance to himself.

  At the time he had taken little notice. But later, when he had time to think, he wondered. And the more he thought on it, the more likely it seemed. He looked at Ruby now: that sweetheart face and those strong dark eyes that twinkled blue in one light and black in another. He let his gaze surreptitiously rove to her hair, abundant brown hair the colour of rich chocolate. It stabbed at his heart when he realised that it was true what those people had said. Ruby did have the look of him! Certainly, though his hair was now streaked with grey, there had been a time when it was the same colour and texture as Ruby’s. And those eyes, those blue eyes that were speckled black. Why! He might have been looking in a mirror.

  Seeing her there, in these circumstances, he had the strongest urge to take her in his fatherly arms and comfort her. After all, it would have been the most natural thing in the world, because now he was convinced. Lizzie’s daughter was his daughter too.

  ‘Won’t you tell me what took place between you and my daughter?’ he asked fondly. Thinking, my other daughter. It wasn’t the first time a master had fathered a child out of wedlock, and it wouldn’t be the last. But somehow he held himself above all others, and was determined secretly to do his best by Lizzie’s girl. ‘You don’t want to leave, do you?’

  ‘It’s for the best, sir.’ Ruby didn’t like lying to this man, but she felt cornered. She had not forgotten Cicely’s warning: ‘If I hear you’ve spoken to my father about any of this, I will never forgive you.’ If she was to tell him the truth, then any faint chance of a reconciliation with Cicely would be gone forever. She daren’t risk that.

  ‘Why do you say it’s for the best?’ he wanted to know. ‘I don’t understand. You and Cicely have been so good for each other.’ He gazed at her for a considerable time during which Ruby felt decidedly uncomfortable. Presently he said, ‘Whatever it is that’s caused you and Cicely to fight, I’m sure it’s no more than a storm in a teacup.’

  ‘Cicely has dismissed me, sir, and I think it’s best if I go now.’

  ‘But I don’t want you to go.’ When Ruby looked at him with clear steadfast eyes, he folded his two hands behind his head, then raising his face to the ceiling, sighed. ‘Women!’ he muttered. ‘There’s no fathoming them.’ He sighed again, as though there was a great weight upon him. He felt trapped, and angry, and truly believed that here was his own daughter, yet he had no right to claim her as such. All the same, he found he couldn’t let her go so easily. ‘Ruby, I want to know what happened between you and Cicely.’ His voice was firm and he stared at her with serious eyes. ‘I have asked her and she won’t speak of it. So now I’m asking you.’

  ‘It’s best left alone, sir.’ She felt threatened. The more he probed, the more she felt the need to run. ‘If Cicely wanted you to know what we disagreed about, she would have told you.’

  ‘Ah! So you did disagree about something. I knew there was more to this than met the eye.’ Something occurred to him then, though for the life of him he couldn’t think why it should. ‘Was it because of my future son-in-law? Did you disagree about him?’ He was inwardly shocked that such a thing should come into his mind.

  Ruby was also shocked – so much so that the truth slipped out. ‘I don’t like him, sir.’ The minute the words left her lips she cursed herself.

  He answered in measured tones, ‘You don’t like him? Now why would you say a thing like that, child?’ He asked himself much the same question. Why would he think the two young women had fought because of Luke Arnold? He watched Ruby closely, and realised that she was already regretting her admission. He was afraid there might be a deeper motive for the fight between her and Cicely. ‘You love my daughter, don’t you?’

  ‘Very much, sir.’

  ‘Yet you say you don’t like her husband-to-be? I can see now that you were brave, or foolish, enough to tell this to my daughter. She was deeply offended, and that was why she dismissed you.’ He waited for Ruby to confirm this, but she remained silent. Her silence told him a great deal. He decided not to press her further. ‘Very well, Ruby. I won’t badger you,’ he promised. ‘Perhaps in time, you and Cicely will mend your differences?’

  Her eyes shone then. ‘Oh, I do hope so, sir, I really do.’

  For one dreadful moment there, she’d believed he would not let her go until she had confessed everything. She was tempted to. There would have been great satisfaction in telling him about the villainous Luke, how he meant to steal all of Cicely’s inheritance, and how he felt nothing for her but contempt. Ruby was fearful of what the master would say if he knew Luke had propositioned her. She so much wanted to spill it all out and wholly discredit him in this man’s eyes. Only the knowledge that Cicely would hate her forever made her hold back. Still and all, wherever she was, she would do her utmost to keep an eye out for Cicely’s well-being. If it ever became known to Ruby that Luke was ill-treating Cicely, she would move heaven and earth to punish him.

  Without realising it, Ruby had stirred Jeffrey’s suspicions, but on seeing the set of her pretty mouth, and knowing how reluctant she had been to speak all along, he realised that Ruby had said as much as she was going to. He admired her loyalty to Cicely. ‘Yes. Perhaps the two of you will do better without interference from me,’ he agreed. ‘But what will you do now? Have you work that you can go to?’ He knew Lizzie’s family lived from day to day, and it worried him.

  ‘No, sir. I have no work. But I’ll find it soon enough.’

  ‘Where will you look? There isn’t much to be had.’ He felt responsible for her.

  ‘Don’t worry about me, sir. I have a good strong back, and I can turn my hand to anything.’

  ‘Hmmm.’ He was mentally weighing the situation. ‘Tell me something, Ruby?’

  ‘Yes, sir?’

  ‘What would you like to do?’ He added swiftly, ‘I believe you would prefer to stay here with my daughter, but other than that, what would you like to do?’

  At first, she was surprised and puzzled by his question. ‘What? You mean, if I had a choice and I wasn’t poor?’

  That hurt him. She shouldn’t be poor. Lizzie shouldn’t be poor either. ‘Yes, that’s what I mean,’ he confirmed.

  Ruby didn’t have to think twice. ‘Why, I’d like to have my own milliner’s. Later, when I’ve saved enough, that’s what I mean to do. I’m good at making and mending hats, d’you see, sir.’ In fact, it had already crossed her mind to approach Cicely’s own milliner, to ask Widow Reece if she needed an assistant.

  He smiled then. ‘Your own milliner’s, eh? I didn’t realise you were so ambitious.’

  He had unwittingly stumbled on to Ruby’s dream, ‘Oh, yes, sir,’ she said, and her whole face was aglow. ‘One day I me
an to get my mam and dad and the childer out of Fisher Street and into a nice place. A place where there ain’t no bugs to suck your blood when you’re asleep, where the rats don’t run about in the yard and the rain don’t stream down the bedroom walls.’

  Realising she was getting carried away, she clamped her mouth shut and dropped her gaze to the carpet. By! If her mam was here, there would be hell to pay. Fancy opening her heart to the gentry like that! ‘I’d really like to leave now, sir.’

  ‘Of course.’ He strode to the door and watched her walk towards him. She moved gracefully and he was proud to think he had fathered her. When the two of them were facing each other, he kept the door closed, telling her, ‘I’ll try my best to make Cicely see reason. Meanwhile, I’ll arrange for your wages to be sent to you.’ He touched her arm and she stared at him in astonishment.

  ‘Thank you, sir.’ He drew away, and it was as though the incident had never happened. ‘But I’d be grateful if you didn’t upset Cicely on my account. It might make things worse between us,’ Ruby warned.

  He nodded. ‘I understand.’ Opening the door, he allowed her through, quietly closing it behind her. Going to his desk, he sat heavily in the chair and leaned back, his forehead creased in thought as he mulled over what had transpired.

  ‘So perhaps Ruby has seen something in that young man that I’ve missed?’ he mused.

  He was both intrigued and disturbed. Cicely was very precious to him, and he would hate to think he had misjudged the young man who had asked for her hand in marriage. Though he himself had seen Luke as a presentable and eligible fellow, hard-working and devoted to his father’s business, Ruby had other ideas. But then he reminded himself, ‘Isn’t it natural that she should feel perhaps a little jealous? After all, she and Cicely have been so close, and now Cicely is to be married.’