Nobody’s Darling

by Nobody’s Darling (retail) (epub)

  He was only a few steps away from his own front door when the tragedy happened. It was pitch dark now, with only the lone street lamp at the top of Fisher Street to guide him. He heard the carriage coming at full pelt behind him, and remembered thinking what a fool the driver was, to rush around like that, especially in the dark and on icy cobbled roads. When it thundered closer, he slowed his pace and turned round. He didn’t see the man spring out of the doorway, but he felt the jolt when he was pushed hard from the side and sent hurtling across the road – straight into the path of the oncoming vehicle. As his face crunched against the cobbles, he was aware of the driver standing up, yelling fearfully as the carriage brakes screeched and the whole ensemble seemed to veer away from him. There was a glancing thud, which rolled him backwards, flicking him sideways before his head cracked into the kerb and he lost consciousness. In the split second as his senses left him, he saw the dark shadowy figure running away. And then he knew no more.

  All along Fisher Street the doors were flung open and folk came rushing out. ‘What happened?’ Ma Collins yelled. She had been coaxing Mrs Wentworth’s first bairn into the world, and that poor young woman had given a good account of herself, yelling and crying enough to wake the dead. When all the noise broke outside, she was miraculously silenced and the bairn popped into the world without any further ado. Now that the newborn was lying safely on its mammy’s breast, Ma Collins had taken the opportunity to investigate what dreadful happening had taken place in the street outside. While everyone stood around the huddled figure on the ground, she forced her way through. At once recognising Ted, she asked in a shocked and quiet voice, ‘Where’s Lizzie?’

  Even as she looked up, the crowd parted and Lizzie stood there. At first she stared curiously at the faces around her, then she stared at Ma Collins, and what she saw there made Lizzie shift her gaze to the misshapen bundle on the ground. When she realised that it was her own dear Ted lying there, she cried out his name, falling to her knees beside him and gathering him roughly into her arms. She didn’t utter a single word after that. She continued to stare at his face which seemed the colour of chalk in the light of the street lamp, her horrified gaze followed the thin red river surging down his temples, smudging her own arms. Burying her face against his, she rocked him back and forth, softly crying, and silently praying.

  For what seemed an age, the silence all around her was impenetrable. Suddenly, Ruby was on the ground beside her, one arm round her mam and the other stroking her father’s hair. ‘He’ll be all right, Mam,’ she murmured. ‘He’ll be all right.’ It was then that Ma Collins drew the two of them away. ‘We’ll get him to the infirmary,’ she promised. ‘After that, you must trust in the Lord.’

  The carriage driver was frantic. ‘It weren’t my fault,’ he moaned, wiping his hands down his face as though to shut out the sight before him. ‘He just fell into the road in front of me,’ he insisted. ‘There weren’t nothing I could do.’ As the men gently laid Ted into the back of his empty carriage, he openly wept. It didn’t matter that his seats were smeared with blood. All that mattered was that these people should believe it wasn’t his fault. ‘Will he be all right?’ he asked Ma Collins.

  ‘He’ll have a better chance if yer stop bawling and get the poor sod to the infirmary as fast as yer can,’ she answered. While he swiftly clambered back into his seat, Ruby helped her mam into the carriage and then climbed in beside her. Ted lay across the seat before them, unmoving and crumpled, his face like a mask and his eyes closed against the world. As Lizzie slid into the seat beside him to cradle his head against her breast, Ruby sat opposite, desperately afraid yet ever hopeful. ‘Will you watch the childer?’ she asked, leaning out of the window to speak to Ma Collins as the carriage pulled away. Dolly and the twins watched from the upstairs window. Lenny stood in the doorway. When she saw the tears glittering on his face, Ruby suddenly realised that he was still only a frightened child at heart.

  ‘Aye, don’t worry about them,’ answered Ma Collins. ‘They’ll be tekken care of.’ A chorus of agreement went up from every woman there. Thankful, Ruby returned her attention to the two inside the carriage.

  All the way to Blackburn Infirmary she watched in anguish while her mam bent her own body close to this man whom she loved, desperate to instil her own warm life into his veins, and dying a little inside herself when he remained cold and still in her arms.

  When they rushed Ted into the infirmary, one of the nurses told Ruby that there was ‘a flicker of life’. And so they waited outside in the corridor, deeply anxious and deriving comfort from each other while the doctor and nurses urgently attended him.

  When, after a while, the grey-haired doctor came softly towards them, Lizzie and Ruby each saw the truth written on his tired old face. ‘I’m so sorry,’ he murmured. He went on to explain how Ted’s skull had been shattered, but neither Lizzie nor Ruby heard. Lizzie had collapsed in her daughter’s arms, and the only thing they understood in that awful moment was that he would never come home again. It was a shocking thing to realise. And as she held on to her distraught mam, Ruby could only think that it was Christmas. It was Christmas Eve, and her dad was never coming home again.

  * * *

  It was early in the morning when Ruby brought her mam back to the house on Fisher Street. Inside, Ma Collins waited for news. She saw straight away that it was not good. ‘The childer are sound asleep,’ she told Ruby. ‘All but Lenny, and he’s gone out into the night.’

  Lizzie spoke then. Looking at Ruby with eyes that were red and sore from crying, she whispered, ‘He idolised yer dad. Find him, lass. Find him and bring him home.’

  Her voice broke on a sob, and Ma Collins led her to the chair by the fireplace. ‘We’ll sit here, you and me,’ she suggested kindly. ‘And we’ll talk all night if you want.’ She turned to Ruby, saw how devastated she was and asked, ‘Or d’you want me to find your brother, lass?’

  ‘No,’ Ruby replied. ‘Thank you, but I think I know where to find him.’ She glanced anxiously at her mam who pleaded, ‘Break it to him gently, lass, for he’ll take it awful hard.’

  Outside, Ruby stood on the doorstep, a solitary and lonely soul, trying to come to terms with what had happened. In spite of her awful grief she hadn’t cried. For her mam’s sake she had been a tower of strength. Now, though, she was numb all over. She felt so strange. All knotted up inside, yet floating, as though she was not in control of herself. ‘Be strong for them,’ she murmured into the darkness. ‘They’ll need you more than ever now.’

  Johnny had come home late, and was shocked to hear about Ted Miller’s accident. Now he came out of the house and saw her standing there. Hurrying the short distance between them, he stopped just an arm’s reach away. He saw how she stood slumped against the door and feared the worst. ‘Ruby?’ His voice crept into her thoughts. She glanced up at him, and he knew her terrible grief.

  ‘He’s dead,’ she murmured, and her voice was like that of a stranger. When he stepped forward and opened his arms to her, she tumbled forward, safe in the warmth of his embrace. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the crumpled Christmas tree propped against the wall. Someone had said Ted was carrying the tree when he was run down. Suddenly the tears she had kept back welled up inside her. Then it was like a dam opening as they gushed up, burning her eyes, spilling over to flow freely down her face. ‘Our dad’s dead,’ she sobbed, over and over she told him. ‘He’s never coming home again.’

  Johnny held her tight. ‘Shh,’ he whispered. ‘Shh, my darling.’ And his heart went out to her.

  Together they went in search of Lenny. Just as Ruby suspected, he was sitting on the bridge over Blakewater, dangling his legs in mid-air and staring into the distance towards the foundry where his dad had worked. ‘He always told me that one day he would get me a job there,’ he told Ruby and Johnny. Then he broke down and cried. Johnny told Ruby it was the best thing that could happen. ‘Grief is better out than in,’ he said. And she knew he was right.
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  Part Three

  1895

  Loneliness

  Chapter Fifteen

  ‘It might as well have been made for you, Mrs Lacey.’ Ruby smiled into the mirror at the woman’s dainty image. Mrs Lacey had been a regular client at the milliner’s for almost two years now; about the same length of time as Ruby had been there. She was a pretty woman with an oval-shaped face and long fluttering lashes. Every one of the four hats she had tried would have flattered her, but the neat cream creation with its tiny lace veil that reached just below the eyes was something very special. ‘This one suits you best of all,’ Ruby remarked truthfully, at the same time tilting the hat at an attractive angle on the woman’s swirl of dark hair.

  Reaching forward in her seat, the woman examined the hat from every side. At length, she returned Ruby’s warm smile. ‘As usual, you’re right, my dear,’ she declared. ‘I’ll take it.’ And, being a woman of decision, she quickly summoned her waiting driver, who dutifully collected the cumbersome hat-box and afterwards accompanied his mistress out to the waiting carriage.

  After entering the item on Mrs Lacey’s account, Ruby watched them drive away down the road. Returning inside, where she glanced at the small marble clock on the new elegant fireplace, she was astonished and relieved to see that it was almost five. With a sigh, she turned the door sign over to read CLOSED. Normally, she would have remained open a while longer, but on this glorious June Saturday she felt unusually weary. Besides, she had other business to attend to, and was concerned that Widow Reece had not returned. These past twelve months, that poor woman had been in considerable pain, the delicate bones in her hands growing increasingly troublesome, and after a great deal of persuasion from Ruby, she had finally made an appointment to visit the doctor.

  Ruby was clearing the counter, deep in thought, when the girl emerged from the back room. She was a slight fair-haired young creature with a nervous way about her, though she was a quick learner and Ruby was delighted with her progress. ‘I’ve finished my work, Miss Miller,’ she said in a peculiar high-pitched voice. ‘Is there anything else you’d like me to do before I go?’

  ‘No, thank you, Katie, it’s already gone five,’ Ruby answered. ‘You get off now. You don’t want to miss your tram.’ At first, Ruby had been reluctant to take on a girl who was so young and inexperienced. But her wages were small, and already she was proving to be a godsend. She worked hard and she had a natural aptitude that ran through all her work. Besides which, she had a flair for colour and design that prompted Widow Reece to tell Ruby ‘The girl reminds me of you when you first came here.’

  ‘Goodnight then,’ she called out as she closed the shop door behind her. After locking the door, Ruby went into the back room. As usual it was left neat and tidy, much as she herself liked to leave it. She thought fondly of that first day when she came to work here. ‘Was it really almost two years ago?’ she mused aloud. It only seemed like yesterday to her.

  So much had happened in that time; so many memories were made, some good and some bad. On the good side, Lenny was making a fine young man, and the other three childer were making strides at the Church school; Lottie was a fine sturdy infant, with an amiable and delightful nature. Thanks to Ruby’s growing affluence and Lenny’s considerable contribution, they were all well clothed, and hunger was a thing of the past in the Miller household. On the work-front, Ruby had eagerly absorbed everything Widow Reece had taught her, and more besides. She had grown competent and knowledgeable where the business side was concerned; so much so that Widow Reece had gradually relinquished the greater responsibility, until it was now Ruby who virtually ran the business. Profits had exceeded all expectations. Her savings had grown considerably, and she felt as though at long last she had achieved something. Yet, Ruby looked on it only as a beginning. More and more she felt in charge of her own destiny, and it was a good feeling.

  Her only regret was Johnny. She loved him as much as she had always loved him, and she knew instinctively that he loved her; although he didn’t tell her so any more. Instead, he smiled and talked with her. He congratulated her on realising part of her ambitions, and he was the perfect gentleman. But he rarely stayed when she was around, nor did he make any attempt to cross her path. Oh, there were times when she wanted him to, when she remembered that glorious night of love and longed to be held close in his strong loving arms. For a while after that night, Ruby had thought she was with child. But then it proved not to be. Often she wondered whether she would have been satisfied and happy with such an event, married to Johnny and raising their children. But the thought frightened her and so she launched herself deeper into her work. To her, Johnny still represented a life she wanted no part of.

  On the bad side, her mam had been prematurely widowed and Ruby herself, along with the other childer, had lost a caring father. Since her man had been taken two years ago this coming Christmas Eve, Lizzie was a changed woman, less active, quick to temper and prone to deep silent moods. The atmosphere in that little house on Fisher Street was different somehow. This was one of the reasons why Ruby had finally decided it was time to move the family away. She had already paid an advance rent on a bigger property, and tonight she would break the news to her mam. In view of Lizzie’s set ways and vehement opposition to any change for the better, Ruby didn’t relish the idea of telling her.

  Besides being deeply concerned about her mam, Ruby was disturbed about things she had heard with regard to Cicely. There were growing rumours that Luke Arnold was not the wonderful husband Cicely had hoped he would be, and it was claimed by some that he was blatantly unfaithful. So many times, Ruby had toyed with the idea of visiting her in that grand house on Preston New Road; a palatial place chosen by Luke and paid for by her father as a wedding present. But she thought better of it. Cicely had made her feelings plain long ago, when she cruelly dismissed Ruby; she certainly wouldn’t thank her for turning up on the doorstep now.

  Ruby was visibly startled when a voice spoke quite close to her. ‘My, you are deep in thought, aren’t you?’ It was Widow Reece, and Ruby hadn’t even heard her come in. She was even more startled, some moments later, when she realised that the other woman had not only been to the doctor’s but had attended a meeting with none other than a representative of Gabriel’s Fashions, a fast growing chain of stores that was spreading throughout the North West and sold everything from pins to overcoats. ‘They want to buy us out,’ she told Ruby. ‘And to be honest, I am greatly tempted.’

  Ruby was horrified. ‘Buy us out?’ she gasped. ‘We can’t do that!’ For one fleeting awful minute she saw all their good work going out the window.

  Widow Reece took off her coat and with slow studied movements laid it over the back of the chair. Then she folded the front of the ankle-length skirt between her hands and seated herself, at the same time giving Ruby a long hard look. ‘I’m sorry to spring it on you like this, Ruby,’ she said softly. ‘No one knows better than I how hard you’ve worked here. I know this must come as a shock, but Gabriel’s approached me some four months ago and I’ve been at my wits’ end ever since. They don’t know that I’ve sold a share of the business to you, and I kept that to myself because I didn’t want them talking to you. I didn’t want to tell you then and I don’t want to let you down now.’

  ‘Then don’t,’ Ruby pleaded. She was no fool. She knew that if Widow Reece sold her larger share of this business, it would put her in a very vulnerable position. However, what she heard next tempered her anger.

  ‘I have no choice, you see,’ Widow Reece went on. ‘As you know, I’ve been to see the doctor.’ She made a little sob in the back of her throat, but her face remained remarkably impassive as she continued in a subdued voice, ‘The news was worse than I’d feared.’

  Seeing that the woman was distressed, Ruby came and sat on the chair opposite, ‘What is it?’ she asked gently. ‘What did the doctor have to say?’

  For answer, Widow Reece raised her hands and made an effort to stretch the
gnarled fingers. They made a grotesque sight, twisted and thin, like brittle twigs that had been trodden underfoot. ‘Even to lift a sheet of paper has become agonising.’ She laughed, but it was a pitiful sound. ‘Do you really want to know what the doctor told me?’ Ruby nodded her head, her eyes intent on the other woman’s face. ‘He told me that it’s only a matter of time before the crippling disease spreads to other joints. Then who knows?’ She raised her wretched eyes. ‘I’ve tried. You know I’ve tried, Ruby.’ The sigh she made reached deep inside. Her head bowed a little as though a mighty weight was slowly crushing it down. ‘It’s time to rest now, I think,’ she said. ‘Time to say goodbye to this place and go to live in Scarborough with my sister. As you know, she’s been badgering me for some time now.’ She roved her quiet gaze around the shop. ‘I shall miss it, you know. And I shall miss you.’

  Ruby was ashamed. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I didn’t realise your condition was worsening. Why did you never say anything?’

  ‘Because I wanted to fool myself, I suppose,’ she confessed. ‘And I can be very devious when I want. I’ve become adept at hiding my ugly hands, and keeping my emotions from prying eyes.’ Realising how cruel that might sound, she quickly retracted her remark. ‘Oh! I didn’t mean you… I mean… you’ve been so kind and understanding. Please, Ruby, understand now. The harsh truth is this… I simply can’t go on.’