I followed Five-Star to the room where the kids usually played, but on the way, I heard a woman’s voice. Tahani emerged from the bathroom, smiling and happy, on her phone.
“Baby, I will be upstairs when you’re done.” She cooed.
“Nah, get up out of here,” Five-Star let her know, holding the door to the playroom open for me.
“No, I thought—”
“Tahani, dip. Go be with our son. I got some shit to do today.” Five-Star followed me into the room, closing the door without giving her a chance to respond.
“Why is she here? I’ve told you hundreds of times to not have her here when I’m bringing Island.” I hissed, sitting down.
“I told her ass to leave this morning, but she didn’t. Somebody is coming through later when I get back from the studio, and I don’t want her ass here either.” He smirked.
“I don’t like Tahani or Liza, but you’re trash.”
“Ain’t my fault. I can fuck whomever I want. I’m a single man.”
“But you know how they feel about you. They shout it from the rooftops, just for you to make them look stupid twenty-four hours later.”
“Again, how is that my fault, Blaise?”
“Whatever. I don’t care about them hoes anyway.” I sat Island next to me as he took a seat in the recliner adjacent to us. “I wanted to talk to you, Jelani, because this court stuff is stupid. All we’re going to do is spend money and waste time when we know what the outcome will be.”
“Do we?”
“Yes.” I rolled my eyes. “You know damn well no judge is going to take Island away from me. For one, I am her mother, and I’m very much fit to take care of her. Secondly, I have insurmountable evidence to prove that you neglected me my whole pregnancy, missed the birth, then our past child support issues with you choosing not to pay when I wouldn’t fuck you or be with you. No judge is going to give you custody of Island, and you’ll be back in the media with all your business on front page.”
Five-Star sucked his teeth and looked off, knowing I was right.
Placing his elbows on his knees and intertwining his fingers, he said, “Listen, Blaise. I get that you think you’re in love and shit, but she is mine. That’s my daughter.” He wore a deeply embedded scowl.
“Jelani, I know that, and I never said she wasn’t. I didn’t tell her to call him daddy, and I apologize for the fact that she did.”
“Mommy, I play?” Island pointed to the toy kitchenette.
“Yes, baby. Go ahead.” I helped her down off the couch, and she rushed toward it, but Five-Star stopped her on the way.
“Hey, give me a kiss.” He palmed her tummy, kissing her round cheek. As soon as he let her go, she dashed off.
“Jelani, I want us to be civil. I don’t like fighting with you, and I especially don’t like doing anything that will take time away from my family and my work.”
“Your family.” He scoffed. “So you’re sure you wanna be with that nigga? Forever? Because I’m telling you right now, Blaise, that I love you and I want you.”
“Even though I just had his baby.” My brows dipped.
“Shit happens. So what? We both got kids by other people, and we was broken up when it happened.” He got up to come sit by me. “I’ll be different for you, I swear. No more of these other females and just co-parenting with Tahani and Liza. I’ve always loved you.”
It was crazy, because when Island was still in my belly, this was exactly what I wanted to hear. I would’ve been rejoicing at the sound of those words flowing from his lips, but now it meant nothing to me.
And even if there was no Belly and I still did have feelings for Five-Star, I knew that what he was promising would only be temporary. His word would be bond for a few months, and then he’d be back to his old ways.
I would be a fool to want to go back to someone who made me feel the way he did back then. I’d never had such low self-esteem in my life. Nor had I cried so much, or been so depressed. Plus, the fact that he claimed to love me even then was crazy. I could only imagine if he didn’t love me.
Belly was different. Yes, he’d hurt me, broken my heart, but he’d changed, and I knew it wasn’t easy for him. I also knew he didn’t want to let his harem go, but he did it, because he loved me more than he loved having a bunch of hoes.
That was the type of man I wanted because that was the type of man who would do anything for me, even if it meant sacrificing his own pleasures. And although Belly was one of the rudest, most disrespectful niggas I’d ever run across, he would never be that way to me, no matter what; I knew it.
“I appreciate that, Jelani, but it’s over, okay?”
“It don’t have to be! Just let that nigga know—”
“I’m not with him because I’m captured. I’m with him because I want to be. I love him. There is no one on this planet that could convince me to leave Cortez. I don’t care what he’s offering me. You need to understand that it’s possible for a woman to love someone that is not you. The same feeling you get when you’re about to have sex with a new bitch, that’s how I feel at just the thought of Cortez.”
Five-Star turned away from me, shaking his head.
“Mommy, I cook!” Island showed me the fake frying pan.
“Wow, can I have some?” She started over to me with the pan and then reached it out to me. I noticed Five-Star watching her, so I asked, “Can daddy have some too?”
Island glanced his way with that same uncomfortable look she bore at Disneyland.
“Can I?” Five-Star inquired for himself.
“Island, do you know who that is?” I smiled, but when she shook her head ‘no’, I became annoyed. “Island, stop it. Yes you do. That’s your daddy.”
“Not daddy,” she finally expressed, stirring the fake over easy eggs in the pan. Pressing my phone so it’d light up, she pointed, “Mommy, Daddy,” on the picture of Belly and me.
“Island, baby, no. This is your daddy.” I turned her little face to look at Five-Star.
“That’s mommy, and I’m daddy.” Five-Star backed me up, pointing like she did.
Next thing I knew, Island had burst into tears, and even though I wanted to keep practicing with her, I felt bad because she was confused. Picking her up, I kissed her face and hugged her tightly as she cried.
“What the fuck is wrong with her? She acts like I’m the fucking devil or some shit!”
“Stop it, Jelani. She’s upset because she doesn’t understand.” As I consoled Island, hugging her, I added, “I don’t even feel sorry for you. You had years to be around her in the way you were supposed to be, but you didn’t care until another man did it for you.”
“Maybe leave her here with me for a night.”
“No, I can’t. I told you, you have to do more before I feel comfortable leaving her with you alone.”
“Aight, then you stay a little bit for the day.”
“I thought you had to work?”
“I can push it back. Come on. My chef should be finished making lunch, and we can eat.” He got up.
By this time, Island had calmed down, so I stood up, still holding her. Five-Star reached his arms out, but Island wouldn’t go, so we just left to head to the dining room.
As soon as the three of us were seated, with the chef delivering our plates, Tahani came in.
“Jelani.” I clenched my teeth.
“I knew you were still fucking her! That’s why you barely see me, always send me home, leave town without telling me—”
“Girl, I am not fucking this nigga, someone else is. Or should I say some other people are.” Turning to Five-Star, I said, “Put her out or we’re leaving.”
He was already getting up, and he caught Tahani just as she tried to rush toward me and get her ass whooped. I didn’t even flinch. I just kept eating my food.
I listened until their voices faded, then the front door slammed. Five-Star returned a couple minutes later, and as soon as he sat down, Island began laughing, so we both follo
wed suit.
“She’s crazy, right, baby girl?” Five-Star spoke to Island before sipping his drink.
“Crazy crazy.” Island nodded, dancing in her seat as she chewed her food.
Hopefully, things would stay as civil as they were in this moment.
Manny
“Fuck!” I shouted as I came to a red light, because for the hundredth time today, my phone was going off. And nah, I’m not exaggerating on the number. I’d started counting once call number twenty hit, and now the shit was at one hundred. “Nandy, what?” I finally answered the 105th call once I’d reached Jasmine’s place.
“What took you so long?”
“What the fuck you mean? We broke up, and I was busy with some shit. If I didn’t answer the first two times, you should’ve gathered that.”
“I’m sorry. Hey, so I know we ended on a bad note, but I was wondering if I could come over and talk to you. I want—”
“Nah, Nandy. I’m busy all day today, and I just don’t think we have shit to talk about.”
“Manuel, please, I really need to talk to you. It’s important for me to say what I have to say.” She sniffled, worrying me.
I was starting to think she was pregnant or some shit, but I was hoping not. That would fuck my whole world up. Not only did I not want a damn baby with Nandy, I didn’t want a new baby at fucking all. I was just starting to spend more time with Jasiel, so I didn’t have any extra.
Not to mention, Alivia was pregnant, and for some reason, her having a baby with another nigga and me having one with someone else at the same time, sounded horrible as fuck.
I was trying to get over her ass, and shit, I thought I was, until she pulled up on me to talk. I was too pissed that she’d let that nigga knock her up, so I wasn’t interested. What the fuck could she say? There was nothing she could do to fix the fact that she was carrying the very nigga’s baby that I didn’t want her working with. The same muthafucka that had been lingering over our relationship since the beginning. I scoffed thinking about her saying she loved me as Nandy ran off in my ear about bullshit.
“Nandy, I told you no. I got shit to handle, and I’m not in the mood. We are done. There is nothing for us to say to one another. And if it’s that important, tell me right now while I’m on the phone.”
The silence had my heart beating fast as fuck, but when I heard the dial tone, I exhaled, happy she hung up. Crazy ass.
I got out of the car then went to ring Jasmine’s doorbell. She took a minute, but I didn’t mind because I was thinking about a lot of shit. Even though I was happy to be off the phone with Nandy, I wondered what the fuck she had to tell me.
“He’s eating right now, but as soon as he is done, you can take him.” Jasmine brought Jasiel’s bag to the front living room where I was.
“Cool.” I looked her up and down. “I told my mama about Jasiel.”
“Your mom? You have a mother?”
“Yeah, everybody got a damn mother. What are you talking about?” I frowned.
“I know that technically, but you never talk about her, and I don’t remember seeing you with a mom.”
“By the time you came over here, my mama had moved up out of the hood and shit. I was only coming through to be with my brother occasionally. When I got grown, I moved out, so I was over here a lot.”
“Oh. I guess I never paid you that much attention.” She half smiled, leaning up against the stair rail.
“Yeah right. You always wanted this dick.” I ran my hand over my head. “But she wants to meet you.”
“Umm, why? She knows we’re not together, right?”
“Yes. She knows. I ain’t say that, but I made it obvious that we weren’t two people in love who made a baby.”
“Right.” Jasmine looked down at her small feet.
“I care about you though, because you’re my son’s mother.”
“You mean now you do.”
“Nah. I always have. I may have been embarrassed about our situation, but I didn’t want you to die or nothing like that. And I don’t buy Gucci purses for females I don’t care about.”
Jasmine chuckled, nodding her head as she pushed her hair behind her ears.
“I appreciate that. Next baby I have will be by a man I love and vice versa though.”
“Shit, same here.” I ran my hands down my jeans. “So I’ll hit you up, and we can meet my mama for dinner, or she and I can just stop by.”
“Sounds good.”
“You going somewhere this weekend?” I saw her suitcase up here as well, so it had me wanting to know. Plus, her hair looked fresh and so did her nails.
“Yeah. Siggy has a show in Miami this weekend, and he wants me to come.”
“For what? You his damn manager or something?” I knew why, but I wanted to be an asshole.
“No, Manny. I’m going for the same reason a lot of men in entertainment bring their women places. He’s gonna perform, and then it’s gonna be a baecation for us.”
I laughed.
“Oh, so he got you thinking you’re his main girl now and shit, huh?” I laughed harder, forcing it, because I wanted her to think I knew something.
“I don’t see what’s funny about that. I am his main girl. You don’t even chill with Siggy like that to know his personal business.”
“I’m Belly’s brother. We still all be together despite me not fucking with him like that. You ain’t his main bitch. I know this for a fact. But fine, take yo’ ass down there and watch he leave you to be with a groupie after the show.”
“You are so jealous, it’s ridiculous.”
“Jealous? I don’t wanna be with you.” I turned my lip up. She was a damn fool if she thought that.
“I didn’t say you did, and trust me, nigga, you are not exactly fresh and hot to the market. You’re about to go on clearance and expire.” She started chortling hard as hell at her own joke as I stared her down until it dissipated. “What I meant was, you’re jealous that I have someone, and you don’t.”
“I got a few hoes actually.” I sat back, smirking.
“Yeah, but you don’t have that deejay girl. That’s who you really want, and she’s got a new man. They’re so cute on social media.”
“Fuck you, Jasmine.”
“Nigga, you wish.” She turned around to go upstairs to her bedroom, I guess.
I didn’t shy away from admiring her perfectly round ass. That soon turned into thoughts of how good her pussy was, but that’s how I got in the situation I was in now.
“Daddy!” Jasiel rushed out of the kitchen, and I grabbed him up.
“’Sup, man. What we doing tonight?”
“Scary movies, popcorn, umm, new toys.”
We both laughed together as I shook my head.
“You always want some new toys. We can get the toys tomorrow. Is that aight?”
“Okay.”
I took Jasiel up to say bye to his mother, and then we got his bag to leave. I stopped by the grocery store to let him pick out some snacks because the last few times he complained about how I ain’t have shit like Jasmine did.
Even though I’d been changing my ways with how I dealt with my son for a minute now, I was still learning on the way. And honestly, I regretted the past four years of me hiding him.
I used to view Jasiel as not necessarily a burden, but someone I had to take care of, and someone I had to deal with. It was only because I barely spent any fucking time with him. Now that I had, I liked it. My son was actually a cool ass little dude.
After I spent over $100 on shit he wanted, we headed to my crib so we could start this chill session.
“Daddy, we go see Belly fight tomorrow?” Jasiel inquired.
“Yeah. He has practice, so we can watch him, aight?” I handed him the lightest bag as I got the rest. I turned to walk up my driveway, but spotted Nandy sitting on my porch. She lifted her head at the sound of our movements, and immediately, her eyes locked onto Jasiel. Fuck.
“Hi!” Jasiel waved as
we neared my door.
“Hey, sweetheart.” Nandy smiled, looking at me briefly before focusing back on Jasiel.
“Aye, go inside, okay? Open one of your candies.” I pushed the unlocked door in, setting the bags in my hand on the floor, after allowing Jasiel to go inside. Making sure he did what I said, I slowly shut the door and asked, “Nandy, what the fuck you doing here? I told you—”
“Who is that little boy?” She pointed as if he was still out here.
I wanted to lie, but not for the same reasons as before. I didn’t want Nandy knowing shit about my personal life now that I was done with her ass. I was starting to sense that maybe she wasn’t all there, and I ain’t want her having any information on my son. However, I couldn’t do him like that.
“My son, Nandy.” I looked off, shaking my head at the fact that I had to tell her the shit. “You need to go.”
“Introduce me.” She smiled giddily.
Frowning, I stared down into her face for a bit, studying her ass. Was she serious?
“Introduce you? We ain’t even fucking with one another no more. Why the fuck would I introduce you to my son?”
“Manny, I’m sorry about how I acted, but you have to take some responsibility for this shit too. You were texting Alivia behind my back, saying things that you shouldn’t even be saying to a woman who is supposedly your ex. How would you feel if you looked in your girl’s phone and saw her sending that type of shit to her old nigga?”
Inhaling sharply, I took a moment to think. Yeah, Nandy was crazy, but what woman wasn’t? Shit, she wasn’t half as crazy as Blaise’s ass, two different types of crazy sure, but Belly was about to marry her. Blaise was fine as fuck though. Nandy too, but Blaise had face, body, and her own career, whereas Nandy only had the face and career.
“Aight, Nandy, but you gotta realize we can’t move as fast as you want. We gotta take this shit step by step.”
Nandy had a point, and she made me think about how I felt every time Alivia ran her ass back to Yono. That shit definitely made me crazy, so I could see how my antics with Alivia did the same to her.
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