“Oh my god! Ainsley!” I throw my door open and get stopped by a police officer as soon as I get close to her car.
“Sir, please…” He puts his hand on me.
“She’s…” I tremble. Fear runs through me. Pain. Anguish. “She’s my fucking everything, man. Let me through.”
I don’t know if it’s the look in my eyes or the fact that I’m already balling up my fist to level him that makes the police officer let go, but he does. I make it to the stretcher as the paramedics get her loaded on it. She has cuts and abrasions. Her eyes are closed. I can’t tell how bad it is, but it doesn’t look good.
“I’m riding with you.” I grab the door of the ambulance and pull myself up into the back.
I hold her hand as I listen to the paramedics talk. Possible concussion. It might be worse. She’s in this fucking ambulance because of me. I put her here. All I had to do was keep my damn mouth shut, and we would be in my bedroom right now. She’d be wearing one of her costumes, and I’d be enjoying every second of it, even if it wasn’t exactly how I hoped our evening would go. I’d savor a million of her fantasies to have her in my arms right now.
But all I can do is hold her hand.
Ainsley doesn’t wake up on the ride to the hospital. I finally have to let go of her hand so the paramedics can take her away. I relocate to the waiting room, alternating between a cup of coffee and a quick smoke outside while I wait for a doctor to come tell me how she is.
I’m ravaged by guilt. My mind is going to every dark place it can. All the terrible things that could happen to her fuck with me as the minutes go by. Then it’s an hour. Then it’s two. I just want to know if she’s okay.
I should call someone, but I don’t know her mom’s number. Hell, I don’t even know her mom’s name. Andrews. Cedar Grove. There are probably a few of them even in a small town, and who has a land line these days anyway. I shouldn’t be the one who delivers this news, but I’ll do it if I have to.
A doctor walks out. He doesn’t even get a chance to say her name, but I run to him.
“How is she?” My heart slams into my chest.
“Are you family?” He raises an eyebrow.
“I’m the only one here, Doc. How is she?” I exhale sharply.
“She has a concussion, but she seems to be okay other than that. We’re going to keep her overnight for observation.” He glances at his chart.
“When can I see her?” I’m relieved, but not enough to sit back down.
“Give me a few minutes. I’ll see what I can do.” He pats me on the shoulder and walks back into the ER.
She’s not okay, but she isn’t in serious danger. That’s good news for the moment. There are still a million things I need to say. She may not even want to hear them.
The doctor finally returns and leads me to a room. Ainsley has her eyes closed. That makes me nervous.
“Should she be sleeping if she has a concussion?” I give him a worried glance.
“We’ve already done a CT Scan, so it’s fine. She may need the rest.” He motions for me to enter the room.
My heart finally starts to beat somewhat normal again when I get to her bedside. I pull a chair over, sit, and reach for her hand. The doctors have done a good job of cleaning up her cuts and tending to her wounds. I only see one stitch along the bottom of her chin. She’s still beautiful. So fucking beautiful.
“Ainsley, I’m so sorry.” I squeeze her hand. “I know you can’t hear me, but I’m a fucking idiot. I shouldn’t have said all of that. Please forgive me.”
She can’t hear me. I’m rambling. I’ll have to say all of this again when she finally does wake up, but I’m just overcome with emotions right now.
“I never thought I’d meet someone like you. I never thought I’d feel this way again.” I lower my head and sigh. “I think I’m in love with you. As crazy as that sounds. Screw it, I know I am. I don’t care how crazy it is.”
“I think I’m in love with you too.” A weak, but absolutely adorable voice responds to me.
“You’re awake?” I lift my head in shock.
“I closed my eyes for a minute.” She tries to smile. “The light is kind of bright in here.”
“You heard everything.” I lift her hand to my lips. “I don’t care, I meant it.”
“I was on my way back to your apartment when the accident happened.” She blinks a couple of times. “You pretty much said everything I wanted to say to you.”
“I’m going to make this up to you; I promise.” I kiss her hand again.
“How did you even find out I was in the hospital anyway?” She grimaces from the pain.
“I tried to chase you down.” I sigh. “Then I saw you being pulled out of your car.”
I have so many emotions hitting me at the same time. Have I fallen in love with a girl I met last weekend? Absolutely, I have. We’re going to have problems. We’re going to have fights. This may not even be the worst one we have, but hopefully none of the others lead to something like this. We walked a twisted path to get to where we are, and now we’re going to walk it together. Hand-in-hand. I’ll never take what we have for granted again, whether it’s one of her fantasies or the two of us laying together skin-on-skin. She can call me Daddy all that she wants. I’d rather be her daddy than watch her walk away from me again.
“They called my mom.” She looks over at me. “She’s on the way here now.”
“I don’t want to leave you.” I squeeze her hand. “But I will if you think it’s best. I’ll just be a stranger in the waiting room.”
“No.” She shakes her head and grimaces. “You’re going to have to meet her eventually, right?”
“Not exactly the best circumstances.” I stifle a chuckle.
“I’m not ashamed of what we have. I promised her I’d start telling her the truth. I might as well start now.” She sighs.
“Okay.” I nod.
Ainsley closes her eyes, and I can’t tell if she’s bothered by the light or trying to get some rest. There’s no way to dim them any more than they actually are without plunging the room into pitch black. I don’t think that’s the best way for her mother to meet me. I’m not even sure this is the best way for her to meet me, but it’s the hand we’ve been dealt. I don’t want to leave Ainsley’s side, no matter what.
“You know…” Ainsley opens her eyes. “I bet all of my costumes are being picked through by police officers, firefighters, and paramedics right now.”
“Heh.” I laugh. “Well, they’ll never get to see you in them, will they?”
“Maybe it’s for the best.” She sighs. “I need to stop living in a fantasy world anyway. The real one is so much better.”
“Nah, I’ve lived in the real world enough to know that isn’t true.” I shake my head. “It wasn’t that great until you came along.”
“Maybe we can compromise?” She turns her head toward me and grimaces. “Give each of them equal time?”
“We can do whatever you want.” I squeeze her hand. “If I have you, I don’t care what you’re wearing; although, I’ll admit, I prefer it when you’re not wearing anything at all.”
“What? You’ve never had a bloody patient fantasy?” She forces a grin. “You can be my doctor if you want.”
We both laugh. I can’t believe I took this for granted. After going to depths of my own despair, I should have better sense. I can’t change that. I can’t erase the guilt. All I can do is try to find a way to prove how much she means to me. I’ve had more chances than one man deserves. As a father. As a friend. Now I’m going to get one more with Ainsley, and I’ll be damned if I waste it.
I’ll never take her for granted again.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Ainsley
I had a guardian angel looking out for me tonight. It could’ve been a whole lot worse. I’m lucky to be here in this bed with Lawson by my side. I always run from my problems. It’s about time I got a receipt for it. The pain is an eye-opener. It’s a damn good on
e too, even if all I want to do right now is close them.
“Ainsley! Oh my god!” My mom rushes into my room like a tornado. “I talked to the doctor. How are you feeling?”
“Hey, Mom…” I force myself to smile.
Lawson lets go of my hand and walks to the door. If my mom notices him, she doesn’t mention it. She’s in full mother-hen mode right now.
I grimace as I explain what happened, but it’s mainly just a formality. She knows more than I do. The other driver was drunk and ran a red light. The doctor has already given her an update on my condition. She’s even planning to call a lawyer on Monday morning in case I need one—not that I feel like I do; she just wants to cover all the bases.
I can’t believe I ever took her for granted. She drove three hours to see me as soon as she found out I was in an accident. She would do anything for me.
“Thank you for coming.” I let out a sigh. “I’m sorry, Mom.”
“You have nothing to apologize for, Ainsley.” She pats my hand. “Try to get some rest. I’m going to get a cup of coffee.”
“Thanks.” I nod to her.
I do need sleep. The doctor said it would be fine, but he didn’t want to give me anything to hurry it along. I’m not sure I can fall asleep on my own right now. My head is aching too much, and while the light is dim, it still bothers me. I can see the halo of it when I close my eyes. I’d like to shut it off, but I feel like things need to calm down a little bit first.
My mom is gone longer than it should take to get a cup of coffee. That worries me. Lawson is … somewhere. I want to introduce them, but he left the room as soon as she arrived. I’m not sure I could coherently explain it or answer any questions if she asked them. My brain isn’t foggy, but the world is kind of hazy. It probably is all in my head, but that’s how it feels right now.
“Okay, I’m back.” My mom walks into my room. “I talked with the doctor again. He’s going to have the nurse bring you something to help you sleep.”
“I thought he didn’t want to give me anything?” I blink a couple of times in confusion.
“If there was anything to worry about, it would have showed up on the CT Scan.” She sits next to me. “He was hoping you would be able to go to sleep on your own, but I told him you’re clearly in pain.”
“I am…” I let out a sigh.
I look at the ceiling for a couple of minutes while I wait for the nurse to arrive. My head isn’t the only thing that hurts. The cut on my chin aches, and I know they stitched it up. It’ll probably scar. I’ll have a reminder of this night every time I look in the mirror. At least not all of the memories are bad.
“By the way, there’s a gentleman sitting outside your room. It doesn’t look like he has any intention of leaving—same one who was in here when I arrived.” My mom tilts her head slightly. “Nice looking guy. I’d ask if he’s single, but I have a feeling I already know the answer to that.”
“His name is Lawson.” I sigh. “Lawson Brooks.”
“Is he the reason you didn’t come home last weekend?” She raises an eyebrow.
“Yeah.” I can’t stop the smile that forces its way through the pain.
“There wasn’t anyone in the car with you when you had your accident.” She seems to be contemplating her statement. “Little late for a drive…”
“I know.” I realize she’s going to keep digging, so I give her the details she’s fishing for. “We had a fight. It was stupid. I was on my way back to his place when the accident happened.”
“I want what’s best for you, Ainsley. I always have. I’m not going to do what my parents did and judge you for who you decide to date, but he’s a good bit older than you.” She sighs. “Be careful…”
I don’t get a chance to respond. The door open, and the nurse comes into my room. She takes all of my vitals, jots them down on a chart, and then administers the medicine that the doctor prescribed. It doesn’t take me long to feel it.
“I’m going to turn out the lights and let you get some sleep.” My mother stands and reaches for the light switch behind me.
“Thank you, Mom.” I feel my eyelids flutter for a moment before they close.
I’m not completely knocked out. Not yet at least. The pain evaporates, and I’m very comfortable, almost like I’m floating through the sky. It isn't the same as being high, but it’s very close. I feel happy and content as sleep prepares to take me into my dreams.
I wake up the next morning to the sound of laughter. My mom’s laughter? It’s been a while since I’ve heard that. I slowly open an eye, cautiously at first due to the light, and find that it isn’t nearly as bad as it was last night. I see Lawson on my left. My mom on my right. Both of them seem to be happy and are talking. They don’t notice me stir, so I close my eyes. Maybe it’s wrong to eavesdrop, but I’m curious to know what they are talking about.
“When Ainsley was five, we threw her a birthday party.” My mom pauses to laugh. “She wanted a pony more than anything else in the world. I’m a single mom. We live in the suburbs. How am I going to get her a pony? I’m going to disappoint my little girl…”
“Come on, now. I bet she wasn’t disappointed,” Lawson responds.
“I stressed about it for weeks and weeks. I tried to find a pony that we could rent for the party. I even talked to a farmer who was willing to let me keep a pony at his place as long as I paid for the food.” My mom sighs. “Do you know how expensive ponies are?”
“I can imagine.” Lawson chuckles.
“Well, the day of the party comes. I’m a nervous wreck. I even had a little nip of wine…” My mom lowers her voice. “Before the party. Don’t judge me.”
“I wouldn’t,” he scoffs.
“Yeah, so I go overboard on the party. Trying to make up for the fact that I don’t have a pony for my little girl. It’s finally time to open the presents. Ainsley doesn’t even notice. She is so excited by everything else she got that she doesn’t mention a pony at all.” My mom sighs. “All of that stress for nothing.”
I can’t help but smile at her story. I remember that party.
“Well, Mom.” I force my eyes open. “I stopped wanting a pony because Hannah Silverman told me that when they get old, they get turned into glue. It was very depressing.”
“You’re awake!” My mom leans over to check on me. “I’ll get the nurse.”
“I’ll get her.” Lawson holds up his hand and stands.
Lawson walks toward the door. I glance nervously at my mom. She’s obviously spent a long time with him. She was telling stories and laughing. I hope that’s a good sign. Still, I’m scared to draw an easy breath.
“Lawson is a very nice man.” She nods, and the look in her eyes reveals that she’s impressed. “Maybe you need a guy who has a few years on you—he might keep you out of jail.”
“Come on, Mom. That was only once.” I roll my eyes, and that actually does hurt, so I grimace.
“Does he make you happy?” She tilts her head slightly.
“He does.” I smile.
“As long as he does that, then he’s fine in my book.” She pats my hand. “Now where is that nurse…”
Lawson returns with the nurse, almost on cue, and she takes my vitals. My mom stays until that is done, but when they bring my breakfast, she decides to go to the cafeteria to get something to eat herself.
“I’m sure you’ll be out of here in no time.” Lawson helps me sit up so I can eat.
“I ruined our weekend.” I look down and sigh. “I’m really sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize.” He shakes his head. “It’s not how I expected things to go, but I’ve been able to spend a lot of time with you. I also got to meet your mom.”
“She seems to be as impressed with you as I am.” I laugh as I reach for my fork.
“I have that effect on women.” He shrugs. “Can’t help it; they like me.”
“Don’t get arrogant.” I give him a nudge with my foot. “If you hurt me, she’ll c
ut you.”
“Oh, I figured that out when I introduced myself.” He laughs. “But if you want to talk about people who will cut you, wait until you meet my daughter.”
“Is that what we’re doing?” I raise an eyebrow. “Meeting the families…”
“It’s probably too soon, but I don’t care. You mean everything to me. I want everyone in my life to meet the woman who taught me how to smile again.” He nods.
Challenges are inevitable. Our relationship is still new. There are so many things that we haven’t worked out yet. Despite all of that, I can’t find a single reason in my heart not to keep falling in love with this incredible man. I’m sure we’ll fight again. Hopefully, I won’t end up in the hospital after the next one. The only thing that matters is that we learn from it. That we find our way back to each other after the hurt has worn off.
I spent so long living in my fantasies that I almost lost touch with the real world. Now I see that it can be so much better than a fantasy. Having him here with me means more than playing dress up or calling him Daddy. He’s proven that he’s willing to explore my needs, and I have to do the same for him.
Right now, the only thing I want in the world is to be the woman he holds close.
The woman he loves.
The woman who loves him.
Epilogue
Lawson
It’s been eight months since Ainsley’s accident. Time has blown by so fast it feels like it was just yesterday that she was a criminal trashing my office. Every day that passes makes me love her even more than the one before it.
We don’t get to see each other as much I would like. She kept her word, went back to school, and that keeps her busy. I pass the time without her by diving headfirst into work, but I don’t get consumed with it like I used to. I know how to shut that part of my mind off when I get a chance to be with her.
Like this weekend. She’s on her way to see me, and we have something planned that makes me a little nervous.
Don't Call Me Daddy (Once Upon a Daddy) Page 16