Family.
She didn’t sleep, since the pain was too…present. It refused to abate as it tried to heal. Sleep was the necessary ingredient for long-lived healing and she wasn’t getting any, which was a problem.
Instead, she listened to them whisper.
“The only female gladiator has some…dangerous fans,” Mat said carefully. “How bad is it really?”
“They beat the fuck out of her, Mat. If you consider how long they had her…I’m amazed she’s not a husk of a thing. We’ve met prior Andinna females in situations where they get used like this…”
“Most are husks. Takes years for those who can heal to begin living a real life, if they make it to that.”
“Yeah, but she’s here in a world of males who want her dead. When she’s taken from here, it’s brutal. She comes back here and must be alert, on guard to stay alive. Then she can talk about having a quick fuck with a new gladiator before they hate her. She’s so…used to this and not broken from it. Did you hear what she said?”
I’m a freak. There is something wrong with me.
“They want her to scream so she remains silent.” Mat growled, low and deep in his chest. “I cleaned her blades and I’ll work on the armor next. You stay near the bed in case there’s anything missed, like internal damage. Sing to her that lullaby, the one in Andena everyone grew up with. That might help her sleep. She’s not out yet.”
“You…that’s a really good idea.” She opened her eyes to see him moving to sit next to her on the floor. He smiled at her. “It’s an Andinna tune my mother learned when she found out she was pregnant with me. Every mother and father I know can sing it from heart. Let’s hope I remember it well enough.”
So he sang. He had an enchanting voice, soft like clouds or the best velvet. She didn’t know the words. He sang it so softly that no one outside the room would hear it.
But she could.
It stirred a memory. A woman’s voice. Her mother’s, she thought.
That, brought on by this male’s voice, took Mave into sleep, the deep healing sleep she needed to be in.
9
Matesh
Matesh cleaned her armor slowly, watching her sleeping form from his place on her floor. His temper raged inside him, but not at her. No, she was strong and a warrior beyond measure, he now saw. To take what she had taken, refusing to scream, refusing to break…
That made her a Champion in his eyes. Not what he heard about from her time on the sands. Just that.
His rage was focused on the Elvasi males he knew did this to her. On all the Elvasi. How dare they. How dare they take this female and work so hard to destroy her. To do this to her flesh, trying to break her mind.
I’m going to slaughter them. I’m going to make then fall to their knees and beg for the mercy they don’t understand.
He couldn’t show the temper, though. No, he needed to keep it contained while she fell into a deep healing sleep thanks to Rainev’s gentle song. Rain had a great singing voice, one Mat had missed since they got captured, since singing would probably get him beaten.
He scrubbed her armor harder as Rain lay down on the floor completely, getting to sleep himself. His nephew had claimed her - in Andena of all things. Illo amyr, big sister. He’d made himself a member of her nonexistent mayara without even letting her know that was his intention.
Mat wasn’t going to give the younger male a hard time for it. If any female truly needed a mayara, this one did. The family unit centered on a female. Since females were always rarer, even when they had prospered as a race, their entire family structure was centered on her.
I wish I could make it official. Tell her that I would pledge myself to her protection if it was needed. It was like a call in his chest. It was an instinctual thing for Andinna males, to see a female alone, with no one and need to be there for her. It didn’t matter what role he was given by her, he just needed to answer the call. Friend, family, or lover. It didn’t matter at all.
Well. I have a preference. I don’t want to see her as family.
He was done with her armor before dawn. He could feel it in his bones that the sun was going to rise soon, but wasn’t up just yet. It meant he couldn’t sleep himself, not even a nap. Someone would have to help her rise from the deep healing sleep she’d settled in. Before his eyes, the bruises lightened, her nose set, and the swelling went down. If an Andinna couldn’t get into a good healing sleep, they healed as slowly as the damn humans or dwarves. But this was something they shared with the Elvasi, which is why he knew those fucking Elvasi knew exactly how far they could take the damage with her without completely ruining the Empress’ favored gladiator, her personal property.
He knew when he needed to help her rise, but he went to Rain first. He couldn’t touch her, that warning still clear in his mind. I wouldn’t want someone touching me who might want me after an ordeal like that either.
“Nephew,” he whispered. “Bodyra.” That made Rain’s eyes jump open, hearing nephew in Andena. “Time to wake. Bell hasn’t rung yet, but I need you to wake her so she doesn’t…” He didn’t want to make her start her morning feeling threatened by him. “Plus, she’ll need to eat before training.”
“K. Yeah. I can do that,” Rain mumbled, yawning afterwards. He rose slowly. “How long?”
“We have time for you to do it slowly.” Mat stepped back for Rain to do his thing.
Rain leaned over her and touched her shoulder gently. “Mave-”
It happened fast. She was up and her hand was on Rain’s throat. She flipped him, snarling as she moved over his body on her cot. His wings were jammed and uncomfortable-looking. Hers strained against their bonds. Her tail wrapped and grabbed his, holding it.
Mat didn’t move. If he jumped in, this could become deadly. He knew his nephew was smart enough to talk her down. He was still in slight shock that she had jumped out of the healing sleep so quickly. He’d never seen that from the long-lived races, not an Elvasi or Andinna. It was unheard-of. The deep healing sleep was near coma-like.
“Hey, Mave,” he whispered. “It’s me, Rain. It’s okay. We figured you would want to get up and use the bathroom, get ready for breakfast.”
She growled and twisted her head to see Mat. He didn’t move, his hands up to show her he wasn’t a threat. He saw her hand loosen on Rain’s throat, slowly.
Then she was off the bed and across the room. As far from them as she could be. “You both waited here last night. That guard let you come in with me.” Her eyes darted wildly between them. “Why?”
Because I couldn’t tolerate not knowing if you were okay or not.
“We were worried,” Rain coughed out. Mat didn’t like how bruised his throat was, but it wouldn’t be permanent. It was more he didn’t like how easily she did the damage. She was obviously out of it, trying to wake up and catch up. “Thank the Skies we were. You needed a helping hand.”
“You can’t…you can’t do stuff like that,” she growled, looking scared. It was in her eyes. “It gets people in trouble.”
“Now, you wait a minute,” Mat growled back at her. He wasn’t going to let the pits make him any less of the good male his parents had raised him to be. He’d seen her hurting and he was going to help, beating be damned. “We saw that our ally got pulled out of the damn chow hall. You came back looking like you were beaten half to death. We had to help you.”
“You can’t!” she snapped out, fury and fear passing over her face. “That gets people in trouble. You can’t care so damn much. You just can’t. It gets attention drawn to us. Too much shit like that and they’ll think we’re becoming friends, real…” She trailed off, looking forlorn. “The previous Twenty-Two and Twenty-Three…they were a part of Seventy-Two’s group. They had become good friends. They would miss meals together. Some said they were lovers - not just a quick fuck, but something serious. They were put on the sands against each other. For one to survive, they had to kill the other. Those all end the same way. They kill each
other. They die together. They find something fucking good and instead of losing it, they both fucking die.” She shook her head, closing her eyes. The forlorn look turned to one of pain. “You can’t care so much.”
“Damn that,” Rain said, sitting up. “Damn the Skies and that. You can not care about us, but I’m going to care about you. I meant what I said last night. Illo amyr, my big sister. We’re not that close, but you need family. I’m going to be that. Last night, I decided I would be your family. As I am the illi bodyr, little brother, I get to be annoying and in your way and do what you don’t want me to do. I might be a grown-ass male, but I can still be an annoying shit if I need to.”
“He has you there,” Mat said, chuckling, since Rain was being serious. The younger male could still channel that youthful annoying shit from his younger days, if it was called for. It didn’t help he was still the youngest of the Ivory Shadows and they all treated him like the kid brother and baby nephew too much.
He could understand her fear, though. She’d been watching others keep each other at arm’s length to protect themselves. They kept her even further away. This was new and dangerous to her.
To him and Rain, it was the right thing to do.
Mat was damn sure never calling her amyr though. He didn’t think of her in a sisterly way. If she weren’t so aggravating, so Elvasi in her way of talking, so withdrawn and dangerous, he would want to be much more than just a brother. He had admitted she was pretty.
No, I definitely do not want to be her family.
“This is not safe,” she repeated. “Not at all.”
“Then we keep it private. Here. We’re here every damn night-”
“That must end. You cannot stay the night anymore. No, it’s-”
“I didn’t mean staying the night,” Mat cut her back off. Aggravating female. This was the first time they ever had. They knew the shit they could get for this. “I mean in our downtime after the evening training, before anyone is getting to sleep. The only time people don’t think we’re in here fucking, since all the gladiators in this hall have others over and could hear it happen anyway. It won’t happen, by the way. I’m not a Skies-damned idiot enough to try.”
I’m not stupid enough because I know you’ll say no and then try to kill me. Which is more arousing than I would like to ever admit.
That stopped her from responding. She looked confused, a little angry, but he could see the effort she was putting into making her face blank again. Damn, she was good at it. He watched the emotion bleed away like the rain was washing it away. In a matter of moments, she was back to detachment. Back to the face that gave him nothing, to eyes that were hard and unforgiving like stones.
Shields and walls. He realized that there was so much underneath the face now. She held powerful emotions, ones that rattled her. She hides them to stay alive. That’s what this world has done to her. I want more of the underneath. The anger, the passion, the fire.
“Okay. Now, the bell will ring soon. I’m going to do my business.” She turned and left the room. He knew she was going to the tiny room at the end of the hall for this sort of thing. They were scattered around the pits. Holes that led into the city’s sewage tunnels, just beneath the pits, for them to do said business. Elliar was a marvel of a city and there was no denying that, even if it irked him the Elvasi built it. He hated the pointy-eared shits.
He sighed and looked down to Rainev. “She’s not easy to wake up.”
“I wonder if the bell would have woken her up so well. That was fast as shit. Makes me wonder who all has tried to jump her in her sleep before.”
Not if someone tried. Who. There was no question that it happened before, more than once.
Mat hated the males in the pits nearly as much as he hated the Elvasi now. A beaten female, who needed to heal…only to get preyed upon by her own people. I have a feeling I’m not going to feel bad for killing them on the sands.
“Let’s go with her. I need to take a fucking piss too.” Mat walked out, letting his nephew catch up.
They all met back up near the door to leave the hallway. She was pulled back and withdrawn again, but he figured that was her natural response, a way to show that there was nothing between them to the rest of the gladiators. He didn’t think it was going to work, but he would play along. People were already noticing the Champion had comrades, and he wasn’t very well-liked by the other gladiators.
They were in the chow hall as the bell rang and the windows were opened for the other slaves to serve them. He saw her stop and look down at a spot near the bottom of the stairs. She knelt slowly, rubbed her hand over it. He could see just a drop of blood on her fingers.
“They missed a spot,” she mumbled.
“Was that yours?” he asked, heading for the bowls. Other gladiators were slowly coming in, the smaller groups.
“Yes.” She didn’t say anything else as they got their slop breakfast. She told them it was a bread or grain concoction they could make cheaply to feed everyone. He knew what it was and had even eaten it before the pits. Rain was the one who had never experienced the shit, even though it was a common poor food. Something soldiers would eat on the road. He hadn’t had it since the War and right after it, when they were scrambled and trying to find a safe place to go.
They ate in silence, trying to act like nothing was different. Too bad the swelling and bruising all over Mave’s face made it nearly impossible.
“Another day and the whore gets what she deserves at someone’s hands,” a male commented, sneering as he walked near them to his own table. “At least someone gets a fucking piece of it.”
Matesh’s hands shook in anger at the comment. How dare he say something like that to a female? The only female. A female whose life was hard enough. Matesh just couldn’t believe this. Every time one of them opened their mouths, they proved to be further and further from what a good Andinna male should be like. He was raging inside, begging for blood and retribution. He barely even liked her sometimes, and yet every offense to her from these other males was killing him.
Rainev elbowed him to calm him down, break him out of the temper. He looked over to her and saw the comment hadn’t even fazed her. It was a telling sign. She had known it was going to happen.
“How long will it go on?” he asked softly, to keep the question private.
“Until the last of the bruising heals. Then one will say they can’t wait to see it happen again. They get used and beaten too, but never as bad as me.” She was so calm, so detached.
It made him ache. He’d never known any Andinna to confront such injustice with a stoic, blank face. It was aggravating to him since it was unnatural, but also a testament to her strength, a strength that made him honored to share space with her.
Breakfast ended and they headed for the training area. Immediately, things were different today.
“Everyone’s had a chance to settle the fuck in and such. Today, we’re going to declare some spars and bring you front and center. We’ve been watching all week. Pay attention. This is us deciding who you might fight against.” A lenasti stood up on the balcony for the building they lived in, talking down at them. Other lenasti were waiting. “Champion and Seventy-Two. You’re up first.”
She didn’t say anything as she left them to watch. Seventy-Two met her in the ring. No handshakes, no words. Just two warriors ready to judge their skills against each other.
She handed her steel blades to a lenasti, who tucked them under an arm while another gave her two wooden blades. She couldn’t use live steel against other gladiators, it seemed. Not when she was required to spar. He noted that. She couldn’t accidentally kill any of them. Knowing some of the stories from her time in the pits, he figured she had probably done it before.
“Fight!”
It was a flurry. Seventy-Two used a longsword like him and wasn’t as slow as most of the other fighters. She was death, though. He knew she held back a little since she used live steel on him. This was her looking de
ath down and saying she was better.
When Seventy-Two charged her, she caught the swing on the hilt of her right gladius and forced it away. Her left slammed into his side without a thought, making him groan and drop his blade. He backed away from her and she kicked his wooden longsword along with him.
“Again. You can do better, Seventy-Two.” The lenasti sounded patient, even if bored with what he’d just seen.
This time, when he was ready, she charged him. Seventy-Two did do better, deflecting several of the flurries of blows she rained on him. A crucial one hit one of his wrists, though, and Mat could hear the crack. With live steel, he would have lost the hand. Mat wondered if it was broken.
These males weren’t bad, but they weren’t her. They were also getting lazy, he thought, only fighting each other in the rough world of the pits. None of them used proper form anymore, only a cheap imitation of it.
Seventy-Two, if he was the best that they could match to her, was a sad sight.
“Don’t challenge me, come the day,” she said calmly. “You’ll lose.”
“Stop with that, Champion. He can challenge you if he wants to.” The lenasti, surprisingly, didn’t sound angry, but more teasing. It was like those Elvasi males knew that she was unstoppable and the rest were just playing games of war against her.
Interesting.
“You can step off, you two. Twenty-Three, I’ll put you against Eighty-Nine. Get in here and let’s see what some Ivory Shadow can do.”
Shit.
“What?” Seventy-Two looked at him, his eyes wide. Mat looked to Rainev for a moment, who was just as unamused by the lenasti outing them.
“Ha! You all haven’t heard?” Another lenasti was laughing. “We have a couple of real mercenaries in the bunch with those two. They are here to be broken for the Empress before they give up everything about their company. Now get in the fucking ring, Twenty-Three.”
He did, keeping his mouth shut. Eighty-Nine walked in, swinging his mace. It wasn’t a real mace, but Mat knew it was weighted to feel like one. It could still break bones.
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