She looked up at him in genuine surprise. “That’s very whimsical of you.”
“I have that side to myself.”
She looked behind him at the glen and the trail he’d just taken. “From whence did you just come?”
“The Millers’.”
“Ah.” She smiled and went back to her painting as she talked, dipping the brush again and adding some gold to the watery green. “How are they settling in?”
“Well enough. It’s their home, after all. I only visited to assure them of my plans to expand the sheep herd this year, and to ask them if they might consider putting the energy they usually have in sowing into extra corral building.” He examined her downturned expression. “I’m sorry if this is boring you.”
She looked up with a bright smile. “Not at all! Although if you’re looking at wool as well as mutton you should also think about an extra spinning wheel or two. That task will take twice as long as the fence mending, I assure you.”
He nodded. It was a good thought, and he had finally come to the point where he expected good thoughts of Nora. He sat up, his hands feeling suddenly nervous, his heart beating.
“Miss Pembroke, I’m actually rather glad that I found you alone.”
She raised her head and he saw a question in her gentle eyes. “Yes?”
“I’ve been meaning to speak with you on a rather sensitive subject.”
“Go on.”
Why was it so hard to find the words that had been walking around in his heart ever since they’d come home to Holcombe? He found that he was fumbling through his thoughts the way a schoolboy fumbled through a lesson he hadn’t studied, and yet Gerard had been studying Nora as he’d never studied another person before her.
“I…I would like to revisit our agreement, what we discussed in London about our courtship. It was to last until the end of the London season.”
Her fingers froze on the painting, and though she kept her head lowered as though she was still working, he could see that every muscle was attentive to his words. “Yes, and the season is now over.”
“I know that originally we discussed this courtship as a way to better your reputation and to give me time to heal from my father’s death without the pestering of my mother for an immediate marriage.”
She laid aside the paintbrush and looked up, her face a shade paler than it had been. “I believe we were successful in both areas, for your mother would never pester you to marry me and you have bettered my reputation considerably. For the latter, I am very thankful.” Her eyes were earnest, but he detected a sadness in them as well. “I am glad that you brought this topic to the forefront, for I have been thinking for some time that I ought to set you free from this agreement now that the season has drawn to a close.”
Gerard blinked. She was taking quite a different tack than he’d been intending, and for a moment he thought to go along with her dismissive words. He knew that it would be easy enough to agree with her, and to let the matter go. But looking at her dark hair and her kind expression, he knew that he would not be satisfied with such an arrangement. He gathered his courage.
“Actually, Miss Pembroke, I was wishing for quite the contrary. I believe that we began our courtship as a sort of ruse, and I would like to request that you consider extending that ruse into something genuine, for I wish to continue courting you after the season has ended, with intention for marriage.”
Her face froze again, and then the light came over it by degrees. It was a beautiful thing to see, stretching from her lips to her eyes. She smiled.
“I don’t understand. You wish to court me in reality?”
“I have come to see some very worthwhile qualities in you, Miss Pembroke, and while I cannot say I am yet ready to read the bans in church, I can also say that you appear to be the sort of woman I could spend the rest of my life with. I would like the chance to at least explore the possibility in earnest rather than under a pretence.”
Nora put a hand to her mouth in amazement. “I confess I am taken quite aback.”
“Is the idea agreeable to you?”
She nodded slowly, the smile still dancing there in her face. “Yes, Lord Colbourne. The idea of courting you in earnest is, as you say, agreeable.”
“Then it is settled.” He stood and brushed the twigs and moss off his trousers before bowing to her where she still sat, a bit dazed and delighted against the tree. “Then I will disturb you no further. Only know that you have made me very happy this day.”
She nodded in response, and as he walked away from her, he felt a lightness taking wing inside his heart.
Chapter 24
The last few days of Nora’s visit at Holcombe, after Gerard’s proclamation, were like living in a different world. It had taken her quite off guard to learn that Gerard had been considering a genuine courtship, and the realisation filled her world with hope.
Where before she had been careful to remind herself at regular intervals that a real relationship with him was impossible, that it was all an act and that she oughtn’t to get too attached to Holcombe and Diana and, of course, Gerard – now she began to let herself walk in confidence around the grounds and truly appreciate everything that she saw.
She loved, above all, seeing Gerard in his own environment, surrounded by the lands of Holcombe and the responsibilities of his father. He was more relaxed and seemed to grow so by the day. He put undue pressure on himself to be perfect in his handling of affairs, and yet Nora noticed during her visit with one of the tenants that they seemed to have more confidence in him than he had in himself. They were proceeding with the trial period as discussed, but whatever Gerard had said to them when he went to ask them home had made an impact.
“He was always a good young master,” one of the older women said while Gerard slipped outside to talk with her husband by the wood pile. “A sweet and bright lad, but with the grain gone we thought we would be more of a burden to the family than a help. And furthermore, how could we know that he was going to take the reins and not just leave it all to the land agent?”
“He convinced you otherwise?” Nora asked.
“He did indeed.” The woman smiled, the gesture wrinkling the skin about her eyes beautifully. “You should have heard the way he spoke to us – as though we were parliament itself and he a lord presenting a great and noble case, and yet we felt like family. His father used to speak like that. When he left, I turned to my Edward and said, ‘I’ll be taken for a goat if we don’t go right on back to Holcombe this very week.’”
It warmed Nora to hear a man she held such fondness for spoken of with such obvious love and respect, and the responsibilities he bore only made him more attractive to her. Still, there was a small doubt growing inside her as he went about his work.
She couldn’t help but remember the whispered bits of gossip she had heard during her time in London, and though to Lady Colbourne’s knowledge nothing significant had changed between Nora and Gerard, her continued coldness had a new meaning to Nora now that she understood the legitimacy of the courtship.
Once, in London, her mother had returned all in an uproar about a conversation she had overheard at the tailor – two women talking about the young Miss Pembroke and her new paramour.
“They were absolutely dreadful,” Fanny had said, sinking into a couch and fluttering her kerchief anxiously. “They kept going on and on about how dramatic you are in public, Nora, and how free you are with your mouth. And then Mrs Wallace actually told her friend that she thought you would be the ruin of the Colbourne name.”
At the time, Nora had allowed the words to slide off of her back. She hadn’t wanted to dwell on the further embarrassment of her current reputation, and she hadn’t cared overmuch what two stuffy gossips might be talking about during their millinery appointment, but now their words, relayed through her anxious mother, came back to haunt her. She looked at Gerard, so handsome and caring and unbelievably interested in her, and she wondered if true love would have the stre
ngth to let him find someone better suited to his own interests.
And yet, as much as she saw herself as ill-suited to Gerard, she couldn’t help but see all the ways that he would make her life more beautiful. Marriage with him would not be a sentence to silence and propriety but would allow her to do some of things she had always wanted to do. She thought about the Colbournes’ proclivity for travel and couldn’t help but imagine herself in Paris, painting in some of the great halls of artists, standing before cathedrals and walking amid the water lilies she had dreamed about for so long. That would be her life with Gerard – exciting, as well as full of love.
She felt a twinge of guilt whenever these thoughts came into her mind, however, for she could see first-hand how well he cared for his family and his tenants, and here she was shuffling all that to the side to dwell on her own goals and ambitions. And yet she would care for what he cared for, wouldn’t she? They would be a beautiful team.
It was with these thoughts at war inside of her that she came down the stairs that last time to bid goodbye to the Colbourne family. William was accompanying her home and was already up on his horse when she came out and handed her last valise to the footman by the carriage.
Diana was standing by Lady Colbourne’s side, looking very dreary indeed despite her fine clothes and elegant bearing. She wasn’t crying, for such a thing would have been considered by her mother to be a public display quite unforgiveable, but her eyes showed how greatly she felt the loss of her new friend.
“You will write, won’t you?” she asked earnestly, taking Nora’s hands in her own.
“Of course I will,” Nora answered. “And I think I can say with considerably more confidence that I will see you again.” She thought of the sweet moment she’d shared with Gerard and wondered if Diana could sense the change and confidence that had developed between her brother and the woman he was courting.
Lady Colbourne gave a brief, shallow curtsy. “It was a great honour to host one of the Pembroke family,” she said with a quick smile. “I’m sure we would be happy to welcome your family here at any time.”
It was remarkable, really, how she managed to both be polite and put distance between them at the same time. Nora nodded her head. “Holcombe has been very kind to me. I hope to see you again soon.”
“It is a long journey,” Lady Holcombe said simply.
Gerard came up beside Nora then, so near that she felt their arms would almost brush if she leaned to the side.
“May I accompany you to the carriage?” he asked.
She nodded and, with one last glance at Diana, took his arm and walked slowly across the courtyard towards the vehicle. Gerard stopped her a few feet away and turned to face her.
“I will miss you, Miss Pembroke. Is that too forward a proclamation for me to make?”
“It is the truth,” she answered quietly. “And I think that we ought always to have the truth between us, do you not?”
He smiled. “Then can I hope that you will miss me a little as well?”
She felt all her defences and confusion crumbling in the face of his dark eyes and kind heart. She curtsied and met his gaze with full force. “I think that, under the circumstances, I might miss you a little.”
“That is all a fellow could ask for from one so lovely,” he said quietly. It was the most forward he had ever been with her, and she found it made the parting even more difficult.
As they rode away, Nora craned her neck until the last view of Holcombe had disappeared. Diana and Lady Colbourne went inside almost as soon as the carriage disappeared, but until the last moment when the trees blocked the estate completely, Nora could still see a tall, dark figure watching her carriage roll away.
Chapter 25
Gerard turned, Nora’s carriage at last out of view, and walked slowly back into the estate. That last moment before she’d climbed into the carriage, he had been tempted to seize her by the shoulders and beg her to stay. It felt so strange, letting her drive away when they’d only just reached a genuine understanding.
It was a strange thing, but he felt that he had inadvertently stumbled upon the perfect wife – he hadn’t imagined that his heart would be ready for love after the grief of the last year, but then this woman, not making any pretext at his heart, had slipped into it nonetheless.
He knew that it was proper to allow her to return home and to continue their courtship over a proper length of time, but he found that his real desire was to make their marriage a reality. He stopped at the bottom of the steps inside, letting his imagination paint a picture of what would happen if he were to run to the stables and gallop after her, demand that she marry him as soon as the bans could be read, and take her back home as his own.
He shook his head with a smile, wondering at the spontaneity that she brought out in him. If it were Nora in his position, she would do it – but he was still too careful about such things. He turned and made his way into the parlour where Diana had curled up in the window seat with a book and his mother had seated herself by her correspondence desk. Diana was not really reading the book, only holding it in her lap and looking out on the garden.
“The summer can be so dreary, can’t it?” she asked as he stepped into the room, sensing, rather than seeing, his presence. “It’s so hot and there’s less to do than in the winter months it seems.”
“That is a particularly dark way of viewing the situation,” Gerard said, coming and laying a hand on his sister’s shoulder. “Don’t let all the magic Miss Pembroke brought to your countenance dissipate so quickly, sister.”
“I hardly think we can credit Miss Pembroke with all the wonder of the London season,” Lady Colbourne said drily. “I don’t know that Diana is mourning her loss as much as she is mourning the loss of companionship.”
“No,” Diana said stiffly, standing with the book in her hand. “I assure you it is Miss Pembroke I wish was here, not all of London society.” She turned to go, but Lady Colbourne interrupted her without looking up from her letters.
“What do you say when you leave a room, dear?”
“I would like to read in privacy. Is that agreeable to you?”
“Yes, thank you.” Lady Colbourne waited until her daughter had gone before looking up with a sigh at Gerard. “I say, Gerard. Sometimes I feel that parenting a daughter is more difficult than caring for a son. I see myself in her, and I wish to keep her from my own mistakes. She’s a bright little thing, too. And I worry that her curiosity needs companionship to be shaped in the right vein.”
“Miss Pembroke was a good influence,” Gerard said thoughtfully, sitting down in one of the chairs.
Lady Colbourne sat up a little straighter and pulled out a letter that she’d clearly opened and read. “I’m glad that you are of that opinion, Gerard, for it came to me that the best way to combat Diana’s milieu in the absence of her special friend was to secure another companion for her as soon as possible.”
Gerard frowned. “Diana will still be able to write to Miss Pembroke.”
“Yes, but nothing substitutes for daily modelling of fine character and conversation,” Lady Colbourne said with a wave of her hand. “No, I think she needs something more substantive, and so I have taken the opportunity to invite another lady of high society here to stay for a time – a lady that you will no doubt agree is as good, if not better, of an influence on our dear Diana.”
Gerard took the letter from his mother’s hand and read it. It was in a fine, elegant hand, accepting in no simple terms an implied invitation.
“Lady Katherine,” he said dully.
“And her mother,” Lady Colbourne said brightly. “I do so appreciate them both, and it always pains me to have to leave good company behind in London. It will do me well to spend time with them and be reminded of the true elegance of a young lady of society.”
Gerard could read the thinly veiled comments she was making about Nora. She had not given up the quest, it seemed, to acquaint her son with a woman more refined than Nor
a, although Gerard couldn’t help but think his mother had to be blind to have missed so completely Nora’s charms.
A Baron Worth Loving: A Historical Regency Romance Book Page 15