by Sarah Noffke
For a half-beat, Liv’s eyes closed. “No, Rudolf. No, you can’t.”
“Yes, I can!” he argued.
“Is this like that time you made a sandwich and Serena announced she was hungry a minute later, and you thought you could see the future?” she questioned.
“No. Well, sort of. You see, this morning, while doing our fertility ritual where Serena steps over a dead man and then me—”
“Which is totally disgusting,” Liv cut in.
Rudolf shot her a look of offense. “I don’t see what’s so strange about stepping over your own husband. It’s probably being uptight like this that keeps you from getting married.”
“Yes, that’s the problem,” Liv stated dryly.
“Anyway, I accidentally fell asleep during the ritual, which Bermuda stated could lead to a lazy child,” Rudolf explained.
“Totally. That seems like a perfectly reasonable assumption.”
“It’s science, Liv,” Rudolf protested.
“Yes, and I’m an astronaut.”
“Oh, cool. Good to know. I might hit you up for a ride later. But for right now, will you stay focused? We’re talking about me, not about you being a rocket doctor.”
“There are so many things wrong with those sentences…but yes, please continue,” Liv said.
“Anyway, I woke up suddenly, afraid I’d messed up the fertility practice. My hands flew out and I accidentally touched Serena, nearly tripping her. However, as soon as I had my wits about me—”
“Which took an act of God, right?”
Rudolf shot her a confused expression. “I don’t know what you mean. But anyway, I got a very real message, not from Serena but rather through her. About her. It was from Gordon.”
“Who was the dead guy lying beside you?” Liv asked, wondering why she was even having this conversation.
“Yes, exactly. We had to replace the last dead guy because he had started to smell,” Rudolf explained.
“As they tend to do.”
“Right,” Rudolf said, nodding. “I knew the voice in my head was Gordon’s. He was very clearly saying, ‘I’m tired of doing this ritual.’”
“And after that moment, you assumed you could speak to the dead if you touched a living person they were trying to communicate with. Is that right?” Liv asked.
He nodded proudly. “So I decided to end the ritual and offer my talent to my people. Isn’t that noble of me?”
Liv let out a deep breath. “Do you think it’s entirely possible that you were the one tired of doing the ritual and you transferred that feeling onto Gordon?”
Rudolf shook his head. “No, I didn’t even know Gordon. How would I know his likes and dislikes?”
“Ru, how long have you been lying on a floor and having Serena walk back and forth across you and a dead man?”
He began counting on his fingers. “Twice a day for three thousand steps. Carry the one. Divided by donut.”
“Do you mean pi?” Liv asked.
He shook his head. “Wow, and you think I’m uneducated. You can’t divide numbers by a pie. A donut is the number zero. That’s obviously the right number for this equation.”
“Right…”
“Anyway, we’ve been doing the ritual a lot. Let’s just put it that way.”
Liv nodded. “And although I know you want to have a child—”
“Need,” Rudolf corrected. “Serena doesn’t have that long. Maybe fifty years. Maybe sixty.”
“Fine. You need to,” Liv amended. “Do you think it’s possible that you’re tired of spending all your time doing these strange rituals?”
Rudolf scratched his head. “Well, when you put it that way, I guess Gordon and I have a lot in common.”
Liv stopped her hand from strangling Rudolf. “No, I don’t think you and Gordon have that much in common besides both being brain dead. I was insinuating that you don’t want to spend all your time doing these fertility rituals.”
The king of the fae seemed to consider this. “The floor is hard and has been hurting my back lately. And the dirt milkshakes I have to drink aren’t that good. But if these things don’t work, we’re going to have to revert to something drastic.”
“More drastic than including a dead man in your practices?” Liv asked.
He nodded. “Yes, and I’m not sure I’m up for marathoning DC Comics movies.”
“Ummm, I’m unsurprisingly confused.”
A loud sigh fell from his mouth. “Well, I’m a Marvel fan, and that’s why—”
Liv held up her hand, halting him from saying another word. “I don’t think there is anything you can say that will help me understand this any better. Why don’t you quit doing all the fertility rituals? Just relax and focus on what you want. You know, a lot of people try and try, and actually conceive when they give up and adopt.”
“But it’s supposed to be tough for mortals and fae to mate,” Rudolf reasoned.
“Yes, but you’re a king. Just relax. It will happen.”
He considered this and then nodded, a wide smile forming on his mouth. “Okay, Liv. That’s what I’ll do. I’ve tried literally almost everything else. Including wearing—”
Frantically, Liv shook her head. “I’m certain I don’t need you to finish that sentence.”
“Well, thanks for the help,” Rudolf said, holding out his hand. “Would you like me to talk to anybody dead you know?”
Liv let out a steadying breath. “Of any of the people you touched, did you accurately read anything about their dead relatives?”
He thought for a moment. “Well, there was the woman who said she didn’t have an Aunt Judy but did have an uncle who dressed in drag and I could have been mistaking her for him.”
“That’s what I thought,” Liv stated. “I’m sorry to break it to you, but you can’t speak to the dead. What you thought you heard Gordon say was actually your thoughts.”
Rudolf clapped his hand to his mouth. “That makes so much sense.” He let out a relieved breath. “This is good news. I was thinking I’d never be able to touch Serena again without hearing her Grandpa Joe tell me how hungry he was.”
“Again,” Liv said slowing, trying to quell her impatience, “when you touched Serena and heard this, were you by chance hungry?”
“Well, yes, but that’s because we’d just got finished doing…well, you know…”
Liv nodded, swallowing to keep her lunch down. “Sure. I know what you mean.”
Rudolf rubbed his stomach. “I don’t know about you, but Pilates always makes me fiercely hungry.”
“Wait, do you actually mean that you were doing Pilates?” Liv asked.
He gawked at her. “Yes. What did you think I meant?”
“Why didn’t you just say you just got finished doing Pilates, instead of hinting at something more?”
“More?” Rudolf asked. “Like Pilates with TRX? What do you think I am? Insane?”
Liv’s eyes fluttered with annoyance. “No, I’m obviously the one who is insane. And I have to get out of here. I’m already late.”
“Okay, well, don’t forget we have a board meeting coming up,” Rudolf said, striding back to the crowd.
“I’ll be there,” Liv said, backing toward Subner’s shop.
“And remember, it’s your turn to bring the donuts,” he reminded her.
“It’s my first meeting,” she stated.
“Yes, and that’s how it works.” He waved. “Besides, how are we going to do math if you don’t bring the donuts?”
Liv thought about answering him but decided that there was absolutely no reason to. “Yeah, don’t worry. I’ll be there with donuts.”
“Great!” he called. “I’ll find a place for you to park your spaceship.”
Chapter Eighteen
Knowing she needed to make up for lost time, Liv sprinted all the way to Subner’s shop. She didn’t slow until she’d stumbled over the threshold, doubling over from having to weave around groups talking about the fae wh
o spoke to the dead.
“H-h-hey,” she stammered between breaths. “I’m here.”
“I know,” Subner said, not glancing up from his metalwork.
“I’m sorry I’m late. Kin—”
“Papa Creola knew you’d have to intervene with Rudolf,” he stated matter-of-factly.
“So, what does that mean?” Liv asked, catching her breath as she strode into the shop.
“It means he knew exactly when you’d get here, and the timing was arranged based on knowing there would need to be an intervention in the Rudolf situation.”
Liv rolled her eyes. “That’s charming. So I was set up.”
“Sure,” Subner stated, eyeing the glowing red ball that lay on the plate in front of him. It had just rolled out of a strange contraption onto a holder on the counter.
“All right, so I’m here. What does Papa need? I’m guessing he’s gone, keeping it on the low down.”
“I believe it’s ‘the down low,’” Subner corrected.
She shook her head. “I don’t think so.”
Ignoring her, Subner scooted off his stool and strode around the counter to the main showroom. “There’s an ancient evil that’s returned.”
Liv yawned. “Man, this is how every day of my life begins.”
Subner shot her a frustrated expression. “This is serious.”
“Like when the SandMan came back and tried to put the mortals asleep?”
He shook his head. “No, not like that.”
“Oh, then like when a Lophos attacked me, and I had to bring myself back from the dead?”
“Nope, not at all like that.”
Liv sighed. “Oh, then is it like—”
“No, Warrior Beaufont,” Subner cut her off. “It’s like someone woke Cerberus, the three-headed dog who guards the underworld.”
Liv paused. Gulped. Tried twice to compose herself. This was bigger than the SandMan. It was possibly bigger than anything she’d encountered thus far…maybe. “Oh, so is Cerberus going after mortals?”
Subner shook his head. “We call him Russ.”
“That makes sense,” Liv said, realizing Subner didn’t find this as humorous as she did. “So is Russ going after mortals?”
“No,” he answered. “He doesn’t want mortals.”
“Then Papa Creola, right?” she asked.
He shook his head again. “No.”
“Okay, then I give up,” she said, too overworked to play this game with the grumpy gnome. “Who is he after?”
“I can’t tell you,” Subner answered.
Liv nodded. “Again, that seems about right.”
“All I can tell you is that it’s a being as old as Russ. One who has lasted longer than they should have. Russ’s job is to confine those who are supposed to be in the underworld there.”
“Okay, so I’ll go after him,” Liv stated, ready to get started. She needed this mission to take her mind off Plato and wherever he was and wouldn’t tell her.
“The thing is, you can’t go after Russ yet,” Subner stated.
“Of course, I can’t,” Liv replied dryly.
“First, I need you to go on an errand.”
“Are you out of milk?” Liv asked.
He shot her a look of offense. “I’m lactose-intolerant.”
“And I’m a jerk for not knowing that,” she stated. “So what do you need?”
“I need the feather from the elusive phoenix,” he said like he was simply asking her to stroll down to the market to pick up bread.
Liv let out an annoyed sigh. “Cool. And where do I find these elusive birds?”
“They are only known to reside on one island,” Subner stated.
“Oh, well, that narrows it down, for once,” Liv stated, slightly relieved.
“But they are tricky.”
Liv sighed. “I’d expect no less.”
“Recover one of their feathers and return to me promptly.” He extended a hand.
She reached out, allowing him to drop something light into her palm.
“There you will find the unknown, uncharted location of the Phoenix. Please be careful, as there are many who will want to follow you, but only you must go. And once you’re there, know that many will want to prevent you from your quest, knowing that the Phoenix is endangered and keeping it that way is important.”
Liv unrolled the parchment and read. She nodded. “Yes, this seems about right.”
Chapter Nineteen
The island of Jaco was located where the Banda Sea and the Timor Sea meet, and it is therefore considered a sacred place by the natives. That was a good enough reason to keep people off the island, but it definitely wasn’t the truth. What few knew was that this island in Indonesia was the only place the incredible Phoenix could be found.
The legendary birds, although harmless, was guarded by many dangerous creatures. Liv didn’t know what those might be, since Bermuda Lauren’s book, Mysterious Creatures, didn’t go into detail. Apparently, the explorer had been too apprehensive to actually venture onto the island to research the bird. She was, of course, excited that Liv was going to go to the island, and asked her to take notes on the vegetation, local animal life, and of course, the Phoenix.
“If, and that’s a big if, you return, I’ll be happy to learn from your adventure,” the giantess had said.
“Thanks for the well-wishes,” Liv had replied before hanging up the phone, realizing that Bermuda wasn’t going to be any help at all.
Since portaling to the island wasn’t an option, Liv had to hire a local native to boat her over to Jaco. Although it was considered sacred and visitors weren’t allowed, for a wad of cash, the fisherman was happy to drop Liv off on the beach. When she asked about a ride back, the guy had waved her off, stating something about how that shouldn’t be a problem.
“Like, you’ll be back sometime soon?” Liv had asked him.
“Sure,” he had said, appearing not completely honest.
“Just drive by on your way home this afternoon,” Liv stated. “If you see me on the beach, please swing by and pick me up.”
“Right,” he answered, shaking his head.
Liv realized that most never left the island. She pictured a tomb of bones somewhere on Jaco, full of all the travelers who had never made it back to the beach to flag down the fishing boat to return home.
Once the fisherman sped away, leaving Liv alone on the island, she half-expected Plato to materialize as he usually did. For five years, he had been there even when she’d felt alone. Even at her lowest, she’d always had him. Even when she thought she couldn’t escape a horrible evil or would die at the hands of a treacherous villain, Plato had always been there to save her. But that wasn’t going to happen this time. For some strange reason, she could feel his total absence. It was like when the winds were stagnant. There wasn’t anything missing that a person could point to, but for those looking for a bit of respite, they sorely missed that small, gentle breeze.
Liv’s boot sank into the moist sand. She looked down at her all-black outfit, thinking she probably could have worn something a bit more practical to a deserted island with the scorching sun overhead.
“Like a casket,” she joked morbidly as she peered at the trees in front of her. Several pairs of yellow eyes stared out of the darkness at her, blinking and shifting their gaze back and forth, almost as if they were communicating with one another.
Liv was going to pull Bellator when she ventured under the dark canopy of the trees. However, she decided it was probably best not to be on the offensive upon entering the jungle. Liv imagined that many tough guys had probably raided the island, showing their weapons and muscles, looking tough. Whatever protected Jaco and the phoenix wouldn’t be impressed by her giant-made sword. If anything, that would make whatever it was more likely to attack.
Instead, Liv should show the island’s residents that she wasn’t a threat. She began whistling like she was casually strolling through a garden. She was only there to
get a single feather from a phoenix. She had learned from Mysterious Creatures that the phoenix was worshipped in Egypt, but ironically not at all close to that area.
Legend had stated that only one phoenix could exist at a time. Upon its death, it would burst into flames, and a new phoenix would take its place. Or the same one. There wasn’t a lot known about the elusive bird. All Liv knew for sure was that they were a symbol of immortality, which was strange, since after this she had to go after Russ, who was hunting a being who had cheated death for a long time, apparently.
The jungle was so dark that Liv had to stop for her eyes to adjust. She was strangely seeing spots from being in the bright sun on the ocean. After closing her eyes for half a beat, she found it much easier to see.
She went to take a step forward, but her foot was stuck. Looking down, Liv didn’t see her boots. They had sunk into the soft sand. Quicksand.
Chapter Twenty
Liv had watched enough eighties movies to know that struggling would only make her sink faster. She wasn’t sure why, but everyone seemed to get trapped in quicksand in older movies. Maybe that was before they’d concreted everything, getting rid of much of the deadly danger.
That’s what this island needs, Liv thought bitterly. Sidewalks. And maybe a Starbucks.
The sand, which was much more like mud than anything else, was quickly rising. It was already up to her knees. Liv pulled out Bellator, not only because it was weighing her down, but because it was probably her only hope of getting out of the sandpit alive. As far as she could tell, she was solidly in the middle of it, with fifteen feet dividing her from any place of safety. The closest tree or branch was farther because that made for a perfect trap.
She held Bellator over her head like a spear and launched it. The sword stuck several yards away, landing with a satisfying thud, shaking back and forth. To her relief, it didn’t sink.
“Now I just need some rope,” Liv muttered, wondering if she could conjure some. When her hands remained empty after trying three times, she realized that she couldn’t. There was a protective spell around the quicksand, it seemed. Whatever was protecting the phoenix and the island had thought this far ahead, at least.