by Zora Marie
“There.” He handed the book and pencil over. “Don’t worry if your writing is atrocious to begin with, even mine looks horrible when I haven’t written in a while.”
She picked up the pencil and it sat awkwardly in her hand.
“Have you ever had a writing utensil before?”
“No. I learned to write my letters in dirt and dust where it could be wiped away at a moment’s notice.”
“Ah. May I?” He gestured to her hand. When she shrugged, he reached across her to adjust her fingers around the pencil. Something in her stirred at his touch and she shivered. “There. It’ll take some getting used to, but I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it. Feel free to scribble for a few to get a feel for it.”
She watched him go, the lack of contact leaving her feeling cold and alone. Prying her gaze away, she forced herself to try to write. The tip of the pencil didn’t go where she wanted it to, but she did eventually manage to write a couple of very shaky letters. They were so shaky that they hardly even resembled what Fen wrote. Frustrated, she watched Fen pick his way across a patch of vine covered ground. He tilted his head this way and that, rolling the large green fruits around, clearly debating which one he wanted to pick. He paused and stooped to pulled a knife from the side of his boot. Rina stared at the knife. She hadn’t noticed Fen carried it, and it bothered her. She noted the two daggers Fen wore at his side as he cut the watermelon’s stem, and didn’t see any other weapons on him.
She knew better than to not pay attention to her surroundings, to the people around her. Sure, Fen wasn’t going to hurt her, but that still didn’t mean she was safe. Awareness had kept her alive this long and she shouldn’t have let it go, not when she had a reason to live again.
She scanned the garden and mentally marked the familiar plants from those Tomilin had raised, and the guards hidden in animal form. A silver wolf with dark green eyes lay in a patch of flowers across the garden, seemingly thrilled to be there in the dense swath of white blooms as he glowered in their general direction.
Fen followed her gaze as he came to her side with a large watermelon in hand, and smiled. “Rengard, is that you?”
The wolf grumbled its response.
“Would you like a slice?” Fen asked.
“Another old friend of Dorn’s?” Rina asked.
The wolf stood and shifted to his fae form as he stepped out of the flowers. His silver hair was plated back in a long braid and he was armed with everything from two swords to more knives than she could discreetly count as he came to join them.
“Yes. Ash and I chose warriors we consider friends.”
“Consider? Such a fragile choice of words, lordling.” Rengard ruffed Fen’s hair.
Huffing, Fen rolled his eyes. “Unfortunately, them being family friends means they get away with more than the others.”
Rengard eyed her up and down. “I take it you’re Rina, you definitely got Lyra’s looks.”
“Thank you, I think.” Rina had never really thought herself beautiful like her mother, or even Ash or Amber. Then again, she’d never paid much attention to anyone’s appearance. She’d always been far more focused on surviving.
“It’s a good thing. So, watermelon?” Rengard grinned as he gave a pointed look at the green fruit.
“Yes, yes.” Fen cut a slice from the watermelon and popped it loose to reveal a red inside spotted with black seeds. “Now back to the flowers before Ash comes around and lights a fire under you.”
Rengard chuckled as he took the piece from Fen. “Like it would do her any good.”
“No, but I think she enjoys watching you dance as repayment for all those pranks you pulled on her when she was young.”
“She’s still young, as are you, but she’s all right. Well, thank you for the watermelon and nice to meet you, Rina.” He tipped his head toward her before meandering back to the flower patch.
“You too.” She watched the warrior take a bite of pink inside before he disappeared behind a taller patch of flowers.
Plopping down beside her, Fen sliced off another chunk. “You might want to put the book to the side and lean forward.”
He waited until she did as he asked to hand over the slice. She eyed the way pink changed to white, then to green before taking a bite. It was sweet and aptly named as juice dribbled down her chin.
Fen pulled a white cloth from a pocket in his pants and held it out for her. “Here. I love watermelon, but it’s kind of messy unless you cut it into little pieces first. Of course, then you just make a mess cutting it up.”
Their fingers brushed as she took the cloth and her magic stirred at the contact. What the…? She hastily wiped her mouth and stomped down on the magic that flared. “So… what do you think of the whole heir to the throne thing?” She pried, hoping for a better answer this time. There was a reason Fen had been there during that conversation earlier, she just didn’t know what it was. Maybe it has something to do with whatever that was.
“Well, I’m not really sure what to think about it. I know ruling isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, not if you actually care about your people at least. I’ve seen how ruling one court has taxed Father, especially on his own. But ruling over all the courts would mean we could put an end to slavery and institute equal rights for females across the realms.”
“True, but Farin’s not alone. He has all of you around him.”
“Still.” Fen shrugged and his quiet longing shifted to something else, something that was warmer and fuzzier as it brushed against her senses. “Of course, if you chose to rule, you would have us, too.”
Rina nodded and cringed the moment she did. Even the magic in her veins fell silent.
“Your head?” Worry laced Fen’s tone.
“Yeah. I need to remember to stop nodding.”
“Should you even be up yet?”
“Probably not,” she admitted as her vision blurred with the throbbing in her head, “but I don’t really like being inside.”
“I understand. As much as I love the library and kitchen, I’d rather be outside too.”
30
Fen
Fen fidgeted with the watermelon rind as he ate the last bite of its juicy inside. Silently, he sliced them both another piece. He wanted to know more about Rina, but he didn’t know how without bringing up the darker parts of her past. Or without breaking his promise to Arlen that he wouldn’t pry or push her to talk.
“What’s wrong?” Rina asked.
“Nothing, I just—” Fen stopped as Rina gave him the same look Dorn used when he knew someone was lying. “I want to know more about you. Like… what do you like to do for fun?”
“I don’t know. I like to go for walks in the woods, but Dorn wants me to stay close to the house for now.”
“Surely there’s something else.”
Rina shrugged. “I’ve always liked archery, though I don’t really like shooting animals. I only hunted because I had to. How about you? What do you like to do? Other than being great at cooking?”
Heat rose up his cheeks. “Thank you, I had good teachers. Other than that, I love to garden and read stories, and I like knife throwing.”
“What? You don’t like sword fighting.” Rina gave him a knowing smirk and he laughed as he resisted the urge to give her a light shove.
“That’s not nice.”
Rina shrugged. “No worries, it’s not like I’ll be beating anyone anytime soon.”
“Hey, you’re the one who went all master of light on Trazar and handed him his backside. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone beat a lord but another lord.”
“More like I was a very lucky, angry novice—if I can even be considered a novice since Dorn and Arlen still haven’t really explained what exactly my power is.” Her smile faded. “Besides, you’re the one who put yourself between me and Trazar. He could have killed you.”
“Maybe, but I couldn’t stand to watch him hurt you anymore than you could watch him hurt Arlen.”
Rin
a gave the slightest of nods, stopping midway. “I don’t want to see any of you get hurt, but I have a feeling I might before the end of all of this.”
There was a hollowness in her tone that had him reaching for her hand. Fen didn’t want her to feel that way. It wasn’t like she wanted any of this to happen. He wanted to tell her that but knew those words alone wouldn’t help her. Yet, he didn’t know what words would help. So he settled for intertwining his fingers with hers instead.
She squeezed his hand back and he leaned a little closer, enjoying her presence even when she was lost in sadness and guilt. Perhaps he loved her even more for her sea of emotions because while they may not be for him as her mate, they were for all of them as her family. She may have been hurt, but she still loved.
“Fen.”
“Yes?”
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For treating me like an equal rather than a child that needs rescued, even though I did need help.” She ran her gaze over the garden and heart wrenching longing echoed through their newly forming bond. “Tomilin would have loved this place.”
“You really loved him, didn’t you?”
“Yes. I may have raised him, but he’s the one who saved me—gave me a reason to live.”
Her grief washed over him and he squeezed her hand. I wish there was something I could do or say that would help.
Closing her eyes, she whispered, “Sorry. I need to stop thinking that way.”
“It’s all right. Just know that I’m here if you need me. I promise to try not to be a mother hen like Dorn, though I admit he may have rubbed off on me. Too many hours in the garden together.”
“Maybe just a few.” Rina’s nose scrunched a little bit as she smiled.
Her emotions still felt sad to him, but at least she wasn’t diving into a pit of despair anymore. As the grass whispered of someone’s approach, he sighed dramatically, “Speaking of mother hen.”
“Be nice,” Rina said, taking her hand from his.
Her touch left a lingering emptiness in its absence, but he was glad she had broken the connection so he wouldn’t have to.
“You two done with that watermelon, or are you planning on eating the whole thing?” Dorn asked.
“Hm, I don’t know,” Rina hummed. “Is that how you’re supposed to ask for some?”
Dorn blinked at her, dumfounded, and Fen laughed. “Your face,” he gasped. “What? Don’t like a taste of your own medicine?” He glanced at Rina and was glad to find amusement dancing in her eyes.
“You are a mess,” Dorn said to him. “If you two are not going to eat the watermelon, may I have it to distribute between the rest of us?”
Fen sighed as he beat down his own amusement enough that he could keep a straight face. “I don’t know. What do you think, Rina?”
“That was a poor attempt at manors, but I’ll let it slide.”
Dorn smirked. “Why thank you. When you’re done making a mess out here, I need to speak with you, Rina.”
“Well that’s not foreboding in the slightest.”
Fen huffed. “She has a point.”
Rolling his eyes, Dorn scooped up the rest of the watermelon. “I just need to talk to her about mating bonds.”
Fen froze, every muscle in his body tense. This could be a good thing or a very, very bad thing for him. Rina either didn’t notice or chose to ignore his reaction as she waved Dorn off. “Go eat your watermelon, I’ll be in in a few.”
As Dorn left, Rina nudged him with her shoulder. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” He raised his hand to run it through his hair and paused when he realized what a sticky mess it was. “Think we can get Rengard to lick our fingers clean?”
A grumbling growl came from across the garden and Rina laughed. “I’m guessing that was a no.”
They sat in compatible silence as they ate the rest of their watermelon. The sound of wind rustling leaves and birds their only companions. When they’d both finished, Rina leaned back against the tree. “I guess I should go get this talk with Dorn over with.”
“Maybe,” Fen frowned. He didn’t want to let her go. He wished they could sit like this for the rest of their lives, but it wasn’t fair to her. He needed to let her go. Let her decide what she wanted to do with the bond growing between them. “I’ll be in the training field if you want to talk or anything when you’re done. Here,” he gestured to the watermelon rinds, “I’ll take care of those.”
“Thanks, Fen.” She handed over the rinds and his handkerchief before snatching up the book she’d been practicing the alphabet in. He watched her go before staring at the watermelon rinds, as if they held the answers he sought.
31
Rina
Rina and Dorn sat on the couch in their sitting room. She would have rather sat outside, but there were so many guards around now that they’d have a hard time finding privacy close to the house. Dorn even went so far as to put an emotional barrier around them, to drown out the emotional noise that seeped in from outside. Dorn’s own nervousness made her want to squirm. What is it about the mating bond that has them all so worked up?
“So… mating bonds are complicated, or at least their history is. Because of how difficult it is for fae to have children, bonds such as mine with Arlen are not traditionally recognized. Actually, they still are not recognized in three of the courts.”
“Is that why you left the Fire Court?”
“Yes and no. I never really liked the Fire Court, so meeting Arlen has always just felt like fate and we’ve all built a family here. That said, the main thing you need to know right now is how to know when you’ve found your mate. It’s a little different for everyone, some fae just know it the moment they catch someone’s scent and for others it's more of a feeling or attraction. Some bonds are sexual in nature and others are more of an emotional bond. As a rule, empaths have more of an emotional bond with their partner. I’m also guessing that since you’ve grown up in your human form, you likely won’t recognize your bond by scent, which means you’ll have to pay more attention to who you’re drawn to emotionally.”
“So, what does it feel like to be around your mate?” Rina asked, not really certain she wanted to hear the answer. It felt like she was prying into the most personal parts of Dorn’s relationship with Arlen, and it made her feel icky.
“Personally, I feel more at peace with Arlen than anyone else. I’ve also had problems blocking him, so if you still sense him through my block, that’s why.”
“Um…” Arlen isn’t the only one I can feel through Dorn’s block. “Do mates sometimes feel each other, even through someone else’s block?”
“Yes, especially with stronger empaths and projectors. Why?”
“You’re blocking for me right now, right?”
“Yes.” There was a hint of amusement in Dorn’s emotions.
Rina couldn’t help but glare at him before building a wall with her own emotions. She didn’t think Dorn was playing a trick on her, but she wanted to be sure. The throbbing in her head grew worse as she drew her emotion inside the wall. Dorn and Arlen’s presence disappeared, but Fen’s quiet presence persisted.
“Rina, please don’t push yourself.”
She dropped her shield and her emotions slammed into Dorn’s shield as she glared at him again. “You knew and didn’t say anything.”
“Knew what?” Dorn’s amusement flowed around her like a babbling brook.
“Don’t play that way with me, or if you are, at least block me first. How long have you known Fen is my mate?”
Dorn smiled, then sighed, clearly preparing himself to face the brunt of her frustration. Maybe that’s why the others didn’t want to have this conversation. She didn’t really care that Fen was her mate, but it bothered her that they all knew and had chosen to keep it from her. At least that explained why Fen had been so nervous and withdrawn around her.
“We wanted you to recognize the bond in your own time. Of course,
he didn’t realize you were his mate until you shifted, though I think he suspected you might be before that. When he showed up at the door the first night you were here, we questioned and dismissed the idea.”
“Why?” Rina needed to know everything so she could decide for certain if this thing, this connection she felt was right.
“Because he didn’t kick the door in to get to you. I know Arlen would have to get to me, but Fen shows a considerable level of restraint and consideration as to how things will affect you. That restraint probably kept him from getting himself killed when he stepped between you and Trazar.”
Rina sighed and rubbed her temples. She wasn’t sure she even wanted a mate. She had never wanted to marry or be with anyone. All she had ever wanted was to be safe and to see Tomilin happy, and now it seemed she would never have either of those things. Not now that Tomilin was gone and Trazar had taken away her chance to just be safe.
“You don’t have to accept the bond. We would never force you to be with someone.”
“But the other Lords would.” Rina knew all too well what they had all hinted at. Her own opinions wouldn’t matter to the other lords, only her mate’s would.
“Yes, and most of them don’t care if you’re with your true mate. My parents were not true mates, my father found his mate a few decades after I was born.”
“What happened?”
“Well, each court has its own rules in regard to that. Here Farin doesn’t allow anyone to be forced into a relationship, but some of the courts allow it for power and alliance reasons. In the Fire Court it’s different for males than females. Males can take a mistress and can disown their wife if they do not yet have a child.” Dorn trailed off and his emotions shifted to a mix of anger and sadness.