We have a boatload of cousins, so the ranking was fairly decent. I was addicted to winning, though, and couldn’t let the statement go. “Who could possibly be higher on the list than me?”
“Um ... Lexie. And depending on the day, Derrick — although not today, because I hate his baby mama — and Jordan.”
I frowned. Jordan and Mario were a month apart in age and spent a lot of time together. He was still nowhere near as much fun as me. “Derrick can never be higher on the list than me. As for Lexie, the only reason she’s higher is because she’s giving you free yoga lessons so you can stare at women in leggings and get your rocks off.”
His expression turned haughty. “I will have you know that women are people. Just because they look like they’re smuggling huge apples in the back of their pants, that doesn’t mean I’m some dirty pervert. I care about what they think, not how they look.”
That was a load of hogwash if I ever heard one. “You’re full of it.”
He held my gaze for a long beat and then offered up a mischievous grin. “Okay. Hot chicks are better than ugly chicks. I’m not a total monster, though. I appreciate a good personality ... as a friend.”
“That’s what I thought.” I focused on Eliot. “I’m your favorite, right?”
“Actually, I think Rocky is my favorite these days. He purrs and cuddles without leaving any drool behind.”
I furrowed my brow at mention of our new cat. Kitten, actually. He was growing fast and taking over the house. It was almost as if we were parents, except that our child could be left alone for hours at a time and crapped in a box. Otherwise, it was exactly the same.
“I don’t even know why I visit this place,” I complained, turning on my heel to leave. I was feeling out of sorts, unappreciated, and totally annoyed. Then I saw that the rain was coming down in a torrent.
“Maybe you like hanging out here because you hate it when your hair gets wet,” Eliot whispered in my ear.
His proximity caused me to jolt. I had no idea how he’d managed to sneak up on me without me hearing a sound. “I guess I could be persuaded to stay for a bit,” I hedged. “You need to beg, though.”
“Fine. Please stay with me.” He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me in for a hug. It was a nice moment, full of emotion and romance ... and then I felt his hand brush the back of my head, where I’d been struck weeks earlier while attempting to save a teenager from being abducted from a Halloween corn maze. I’d been knocked unconscious, and then plagued by doubts and fear for a few days. But I was completely back to normal now.
Well, mostly. I was still bothered by a few nightmares, but I kept that tidbit to myself.
“I’m fine,” I reminded him, forcing what I hoped was a pleasant smile as I turned to meet his steady gaze. “You need to stop worrying about me.”
Eliot adopted an air of innocence that didn’t quite fit his personality. “Who says I’m worried about you? That sounds completely unlike me.”
In reality, he’d been hovering like a mother hen since we took down a human trafficking ring. He’d become my shadow — though with broader shoulders and better hair.
“Eliot ... .” I let out a sigh, the sound long and drawn out.
“Hey, if you guys are going to fight you need to wait for me to get my phone ready,” Mario interjected. “There are people out there who will pay big money to watch you two spar ... especially if you’re willing to make up right after.”
I twisted to glare at my cousin over Eliot’s shoulder. “Why are you even here?”
Mario didn’t miss a beat. “I’m Eliot’s temporary helper. He had to hire me because the last woman he hired lasted all of two days before she ran screaming from the building because she was afraid of you.”
That wasn’t how I remembered things. “That’s not what happened.”
“That’s totally what happened,” Eliot countered, briefly resting his cheek against my forehead before separating. I knew what he was doing. He was checking for fever. I was perfectly fine, and yet he was constantly checking for signs that I was about to succumb to illness. It was getting old.
“No, it’s not.” I refused to take responsibility for the blonde twit leaving. I wasn’t even certain why Eliot had hired her in the first place. He said he needed someone young and hot to work behind the counter because that brought in the men. He didn’t mention anything about needing an idiot.
Oh, and Claire had been an idiot. That was her name, even though she looked like a Barbie or a Dakota. Actually, she looked like she should’ve had one of those trendy names that celebrity parents constantly give their kids, like Apple or Kleenex. From the moment I saw her, I knew she would be trouble.
She was a giggler. Oh, do I hate gigglers. She watched Eliot with adoring eyes and then frowned when he introduced me as his girlfriend. Just like the woman she was replacing, it was obvious she’d already developed a crush on Eliot ... and that would never result in a comfortable environment for any of us.
Of course, to be fair, the only reason Eliot even needed a temporary clerk was because of me. He’d fired Fawn, the woman who’d had the job for several years, after she took me on one too many times. In the wake of the attack, Eliot couldn’t take even a hint of strife where I was concerned. Sure, Fawn’s firing was inevitable. He’d ousted her before he was ready, though, and now we were left scrambling.
That’s why Mario was here. There was no one else until Eliot had a chance to vet his applicants.
“Listen, Trouble, I’m not sure why you’re here. I’m always glad to see you, but it would be helpful if you told me what you were talking about.” Eliot returned to his spot behind the counter and grabbed his ledger. “I can’t get excited about whatever it is you’re talking about unless I know what topic we’ve landed on for the day.”
“Wait.” Mario had his phone in his hand, the camera pointed at me, and he looked disappointed. “Are you guys not going to fight? There’s this politician who approached me and offered me a lot of money if I got video of the two of you doing illegal stuff. I figure if you have sex in a public place, that counts.”
I was officially disgusted ... and mildly intrigued. “First off, that’s gross.” I jabbed a finger in his direction. “Secondly, Tad Ludington is the Devil and if you sell any information on me to him I will shave your back and Super Glue all the hair to your eyelids.”
Mario’s mouth dropped open. “That’s a horrible thing to threaten.”
“I will do it.”
“Fine.” His eyes flashed. “Now I know why that first chick quit. This is a hostile work environment.”
“She didn’t quit,” Eliot countered. “I fired her. Also, this was only a hostile work environment after she made it that way. Before, it was perfectly fine.”
He was putting a gloss on what had happened. I guess I couldn’t blame him. I was worried that Fawn would try to sue him — and me by extension — but she hadn’t pulled that trigger — at least not yet. By all accounts, she melted down when Eliot informed her he was terminating her employment.
She yelled, screamed, burned him in effigy. She called me names even though I wasn’t present. She threatened to have every male relative in her family hunt Eliot down and shoot him. Then she cried crocodile tears, promised to be better and begged Eliot to reconsider. When he told her that wasn’t possible, she went back to threatening him.
Now, I’m not the sort of person who worries needlessly about things, but I sensed trouble where Fawn was concerned. She was the type to sue ... and if she did, our personal business would be up for public consumption, because I had a lot of enemies, including Tad.
Today was not the day to worry about Fawn, though. Today was about Tad, the bane of my existence.
“Tad is exactly why I’m here,” I explained. “He’s running for another term on the county board, in case you didn’t know. Our mission is to make sure he doesn’t get it.”
Always calm and collected, Eliot leaned against the counter and
folded his arms over his chest. “I thought your job was to report the news,” he challenged. “Last time I checked, it’s not the reporter’s job to influence the news.”
“What ninny told you that?”
“Um ... I believe her name was Avery Shaw.”
“Well, then she must’ve been hopped up on pain meds at the time.” There was no way I delivered that statement with a straight face. It was either meant as a joke or he was making it up. I had every intention of influencing the outcome of Tad’s election. There was no way I could let him win. “His opponent’s name is Leona Garvey. She’s a Democrat and his district happens to be fairly well split. It’s going to be a tough race, but I believe that we can take him down if we work together.”
Amusement lit Eliot’s eyes. “We? Since when am I a part of your ‘Take Down Tad’ club?”
“Um, since we met and I first got naked for you.”
His eyebrows hopped. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me.” There was no way I would back down now. “When we had sex the first time, relationship rules were enacted.”
“What rules?”
“The ones where you’re contractually obligated to hate the people I hate.”
His lips quirked. “How come I’ve never heard of these rules?”
“It’s a given. Everyone knows about the relationship rules. When I was a teenager, Jake had to hate all the cheerleaders even though they threw themselves at him. He never once put up an argument.”
“Did you really have to bring up Jake?” Eliot made a face. He and Jake were close. They met during their military stints and had a falling out over an incident they both preferred keeping in the past. Ever since Eliot had come into my life, though, they’d been forced to call a truce. Jake and I might’ve abandoned our romantic relationship years ago, but the friendship remained strong. Eliot had no choice but to put up with our almost daily interaction, though there were times it chafed him.
“I’m just saying that it’s your duty to hate Tad because I hate him.” This was non-negotiable in my book. “We live together. We share a cat. If you don’t agree with my fundamental right to hate that guy, then all of this was for nothing.”
“I love it when you get dramatic,” he drawled. “It makes me feel all ... manly. That dramatic thing you do is the girliest thing in your repertoire.”
That sounded like an insult. “Listen ... .”
“No, you listen.” He shook his head to cut me off. “I dislike who I dislike. You don’t get a say in it. That said, Ludington is the turd clinging to the bottom of a shoe and I hate him on general principle. You don’t have to worry about that.”
“So ... you’ll help me ensure he loses the election?”
“I’m willing to listen to your idea,” he clarified. “No offense, baby, but I’m not willing to tamper with an election for you. I’m also not willing to lock Ludington in the trunk of your car so he can’t be sworn in if he wins. If you come up with a reasonable plan, I’m willing to help.”
He was essentially saying there was a line. The location of that line was what I was most interested in. “Let’s go back to talking about Leona, shall we?” I pasted on the sunniest smile in my arsenal. “She’s our new best friend.”
“And why is that?”
“Because she’s a woman who just happens to be Tad’s opponent. It’s going to be bad enough for him to lose the election. Losing to a woman will be even more painful. We need to make sure she wins.”
“And how do you suggest we do that?” Eliot appeared legitimately curious. “I’m not knocking off Republican voters for you.”
“I have no intention of knocking off voters. You know me. I don’t care what party you vote for as long as you vote. It’s the people who can’t be bothered to vote who truly bug me. I just don’t want anyone voting for Tad, because he’s the world’s biggest tool.”
“Who you used to date,” Mario pointed out helpfully. “Don’t you ever wonder if you made the wrong choice settling down with her, Eliot? I mean ... she did date Tad Ludington. That means she has terrible taste. What if you’re a bad choice too? What if she’s a bad choice for you? You guys are now locked together with real estate. I mean ... that’s terrifying.”
Eliot, fairly patient where Mario was concerned, shot my cousin a dark look. “She’s a good choice for me, and I’m the best choice for her. Stop putting nonsense in her head. You know she’ll take it and run with it, because that’s what she does.”
“I don’t run with nonsense,” I countered. “I’m the most together person I know.”
“Oh, well, now I’m insulted,” Eliot deadpanned, shaking his head. “Listen, Avery, I know you don’t want Ludington to win the election. You hate him. I get that.”
“We all get that,” Mario intoned.
“But you can’t control the government,” Eliot continued. “You can only control your part in the universe. You’re going to have to sit back and watch as this plays out. You might get your way. You might not. You can’t change what’s going to happen.”
I scowled. “Did you just meet me?”
He leveled a warning eye at me. “Avery, if you insert yourself into this election then Ludington is going to get in your face. Then, because I hate him with a fiery passion, I’m going to have to get in his face.”
“I like it when you get in his face. It makes me go all girly and gooey for you.”
He grinned. “That’s good to know. The thing is, after what happened to you in the corn maze, I was hoping you would keep things quiet over the holidays. This is our first Christmas living together. Don’t you want to make a big deal out of it?”
“It’s not even Thanksgiving yet,” I reminded him. “Also, I’m a great multitasker. I can terrorize Tad and dress up like a human present so you can unwrap me without even breaking a sweat.”
“Doh!” Mario smacked his hand against his forehead. “This just went to a creepy sexual place. I’m scarred for life.”
Eliot and I ignored him.
“I just don’t want you to get hurt again.” Eliot was earnest. “It feels as if you’re barely back on your feet.”
“I’ve been back on my feet since the day after. I’m perfectly fine.”
“And that means you’re going to stalk Ludington until you make him do something stupid in public and hopefully sway the election to this Leona person.”
“Pretty much.” I grinned and bobbed my head. “In fact, I’m hoping today is the first step to my overwhelming victory. Tad is hosting a news conference in front of the county building and, will you look at that? The rain has stopped. That means I’ll be able to torture him without an umbrella.”
“That’s actually a good thing, because I’ve seen you use an umbrella as a weapon,” Mario noted.
“That was Lexie. I prefer a baseball bat ... or my razor-sharp tongue.”
Eliot let loose a sigh, resigned. “Fine. Do what you want. Just remember, if Ludington comes after you, I’m going to go after him. I could be in jail for Christmas if that happens. If you expect to get a mountain of gifts from me, you’ll have to make sure I don’t go to jail. This is all on you.”
Most people balked at having that much pressure heaped on them. I was not most people.
“I have everything under control,” I promised him. “You have absolutely nothing to worry about. Trust me.”
2 Two
Fall is my favorite time of year in Michigan.
The leaves turn and I can suck down warm (and fattening) drinks to my heart’s content. I like the cute boots and the fact that I can still wear my Converse. I like flannel and comfortable coats.
What I don’t like is rain, or the way my fingers go numb when it starts getting cold. That was on full display today as I made my way toward the county building.
Downtown Mount Clemens doesn’t have much in common with other metropolitan hubs. The courthouse and county building are responsible for most of the traffic. There are restaurants but no nightlife to spe
ak of. Cities like Royal Oak and Ferndale made names for themselves as party places. After six o’clock, Mount Clemens is a dead zone ... and I’d always thought that the traffic flow was designed by drunken pirates.
I left my car in front of Eliot’s shop. After the news conference I would return to write my article — there was really no need to head back to the newspaper office in the internet age — and then we would go out to dinner. The dampness permeating my bones told me it was a comfort food night, and diner food was just the ticket.
A crowd gathered in front of the county building, all media faces I knew from around metropolitan Detroit. It looked like all three television stations and two of the radio stations were accounted for, which was enough to give me pause. Tad was known for making a spectacle of himself. He liked to stand in front of the crowd, thump his chest, and pretend he was somehow king of the suburban jungle. In reality, he was something of a joke. Nobody respected him. From a journalism standpoint, he was a godsend. If there was a slow news day, all you had to do was poke the ridiculous bear in the mismatched tutu. Despite that, I couldn’t figure out how he’d managed to get so many big names to what should’ve been a boring political announcement during election season.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
I jolted at the voice, turning quickly to find Devon Lange, my cousin Derrick’s fiancée. A reporter for Channel 4, we’d butted heads on more than one occasion. She was bundled up, a wool coat cinched around her expanding waistline. She was pregnant — enough so that she was fairly big compared to the onscreen svelte that was her normal — and she was the belle of our weekly family dinners because she was delivering the family’s first great-grandchild.
I hated her before she stole my thunder. Now I really disliked her.
“Hey.” I always felt awkward in her presence. Never a hair out of place, Devon always looked put together, with a matching outfit and expensive shoes. Today she wore what looked to be expensive gloves and sipped a cup from the coffee shop.
New Media & Old Grudges Page 2