by C. R. Jane
She nods her ascent bravely and he gathers her up in his arms, holding her close as the snake suddenly opens its mouth, showing a pair of menacing, several inches long, needle-like fangs. It lunges into the girl and she cries out, tears streaming down her face as she stands there, not doing anything to get the snake off of her. After what seems like an eternity, Aiden utters a command and the snake releases her. She immediately falls into a dead faint in Aiden’s arms.
Aiden sinks down to the ground with her, murmuring sweet nothings into her ear as he tenderly strokes her hair. I’m struck at the juxtaposition in the image. The girl’s skin is deathly white, the golden hue that was present before leached out of her skin. There’s blood dribbling down her neck. Yet he’s holding her like they’ve just finished making love.
“Eva,” comes a somewhat frantic voice and I open my eyes to find myself staring up at Professor Oliver.
He helps me to sit up and I wrap my arms around my body, trying to hold myself together.
“Do I need to call the doctor?” he asks, looking very concerned.
“No, no. I’m totally fine,” I tell him, giving him my most reassuring smile which seems to scatter something in his brain for a moment. “I just am prone to fainting spells since I got sick,” I explain. “The doctor says that it’s totally normal and that it will take me a few more months to get all of my strength back.”
I keep my eyes averted from the painting that he’s placed on the floor next to me when he came to my aid.
Professor Oliver looks unconvinced and makes me let him call me a cab before I’m allowed to leave his office. I thank him profusely and get into the cab quickly when it arrives, feeling embarrassed about what just happened in a professor’s office. It seems that I am unable to have a normal interaction nowadays, even in a simple project meeting.
I’m so flustered that I completely forget to conjure my glamour before I walk into the lobby. The security team looks shocked and horrified as I walk by. I ignore them, too tired to give them an explanation for how I escaped the building without their notice. It’s really not their fault. If the guys truly wanted to keep me locked up, they should have hired a security team with some powers rather than a group of humans. I ignore the group waiting for me in the hall outside the penthouse as well and walk inside, heading to my bedroom to lay down.
As I sink down into my pillow and drift off to sleep almost immediately, I welcome the dreams that come.
The plan is simple, rather than focusing on what I can do myself, Damon has pushed me to look at what I can do with my subjects and the relations that the Fey realm has always had with other worlds.
“If Fairie falls, then they’re next,” is a simple argument but one that resonates profoundly with me. It’s clear that I’m not ready to defeat Aiden myself, but with other’s help, maybe it’s possible.
Damon, Lexi, and I meet in different places in the dead of the night. I’ve at least been able to master a glamour that allows me to slip out of the palace without Aiden’s spies catching sight of me and reporting that I’ve left.
Despite our secrecy, I’m constantly looking over my shoulder as if Aiden might be standing right behind me, listening in on our plans, or watching me with that magical spy bubble of his.
Damon is scarily intelligent, his mind a veritable gold mine of battle tactics and strategies from a millennium spent fighting the Fallen. He’s very closed off, and after a month of meeting with him I feel like I’m no closer to knowing his secrets than before.
I trust him though. For no explainable reason there’s no doubt in my mind that he’s on my side, that he’ll do whatever it takes to win this. His eyes watch me when he thinks I’m not paying attention. The imprint of them stays with me when I lie in bed at night, my mind so full that I’m unable to catch any sleep.
I get to our planned meeting place a few minutes early one day and find him already there waiting for me. Lexi’s nowhere to be found though and I give him an inquiring glance.
“She found another book she wants to go through that could help with the curse,” he says in explanation.
It’s the one piece of the puzzle that we haven’t been able to resolve. Right now, it seems that Aiden is the only one who can truly get rid of it. Although he promised that if I married him, he would stop the curse, it’s clear that he has not kept his word by the ever encroaching black line in the distance. Damon’s told me stories of other horrors happening around the land. Some desperate Fey have started to eat the cursed food left in the fields. It’s transformed them into thoughtless monsters, driven mad, and with the propensity to attack anyone they came across. It’s horrific and heart-breaking and not for the first time, I think of how my mother would have known what to do.
“Eva,” says Damon quietly. I look up at him. The way he says my name is smooth as honey and dripping with temptation and it takes me a second to get past the haze of lust it creates in me. He sees me in one glance, all the pain that I try to hide from the world. We haven’t spoken about what happened that day when I leapt from the tower. I’m grateful that he hasn’t mentioned it in front of Lexi. She doesn’t need anything else to worry about since I’ve already depended on her too much as it is.
His wings are hidden today. He could almost pass for Fey without them. I had never seen an angel before and I wonder if all of them are as darkly stunning as he is. Like usual his soul calls to me and I feel the urge to throw myself in his arms, to get closer, to feel more.
“I’m fine,” I tell him in answer to his unanswered question. Something dark flashes across his eyes and he sucks in a breath that hisses past his perfect lips. The sound sends a shiver racing down my spine. The air between us sparks with the intensity of his gaze until he finally looks back at the map spread out on the rock in front of us.
I walk over and stand behind him, looking at the map over his shoulder. He stiffens at my nearness. “So, the forest druids are definitely in,” I say, even though we’ve already talked about who all will be coming to Fairie’s aid.
I can’t help it though, he makes me nervous and it’s not awkward first date jitters. He makes me feel as if every nerve in my body is firing at the same time, warning me I was in danger, like feeling the caress of heat before accidentally touching a flame, except every piece of me wanted to embrace the fire in this case.
He stands up suddenly, pacing in front of me. He finally stops and looks at me, his gaze winding down my body so sensually that my body tightens in anticipation. He takes a few steps towards me, moving closer until I can feel his heat radiating from him. It seeps into me, making my blood boil. Passion courses through my veins, heating my flesh and slowly engulfing my senses until there’s only him.
“I want you,” he says regretfully, as if he’s admitted a horrible secret to me.
Damon skims a finger over my lips carefully as I scan his beautiful face, studying every line and angle. My breathing escalates— all I can hear is the thundering of my heartbeat in my ears.
“You consume my every thought,” he whispers.
I take a step away from him and his eyes widen in surprise, a silent “why” written in his eyes.
“Because nothing beautiful survives me. Do you understand that? My love will destroy you. It has destroyed everything good that has come into my life.”
“I think I can take care of myself,” he says, as if I’m making a joke.
“Maybe you can,” I say softly, admiring how strong he is. “But you shouldn’t tempt me into risking it. I can’t be held responsible.”
I want him to run. I expect him to run. Instead his hand shoots out, grabbing the front of my dress and pulling me to him until our lips meet. Our tongues tangle, and I shiver, both at the feeling and at the urgency present in both of our touches. His hands slide down, cupping me and lifting me off the ground as the kiss deepens, his tongue sweeping across my teeth before it thrusts inside my mouth, drawing out my own. He sucks it slowly and I press my body closer to his, needing to feel
him, to be apart of him. I rock against him, chasing that perfect spot.
Somewhere my sensible side, no longer able to stay silent, begins admonishing me, reminding me of Beckham’s face the day I told him that it was over, of Mason lying lifeless in my arms.
Shut up, I command her. Still holding me up, Damon’s hand drifts up and catches my hair, tugging it back so that my lips break from his.
“Friday,” he whispers. “We’ll finish this. I will save you Eva, even from yourself.”
I lay my forehead against his chest, wanting to believe in him with everything inside of me.
13
I can feel Damon’s presence in my bedroom even before I open my eyes. I sit up groggily, my eyes taking a moment to find him in the darkness that dusk has brought to the room.
I expect him to immediately begin to lecture me on leaving but he surprises me by getting up and going into my closet, pulling out a few warm items of clothing.
“It’s my turn for our date,” he says, and my stomach flutters at his words. I haven’t been on a date with Damon in forever. I’m surprised he wants to go on one with me considering how we’ve been getting along.
He doesn’t take his eyes off of me as I get dressed in the thick black leggings he laid out for me. When I pick up the sweater that he chose, I give him a questioning glance. It’s a sweater that I haven’t seen before, and it has little slits in the back.
“For your wings,” he murmurs, his eyes filled with heat as he watches me slip off the tank top I had worn for my nap and replace it with the sweater he chose. It’s the softest thing I’ve ever worn, and I immediately love it, grateful that all three of them have such excellent taste in clothing.
We walk out to the hallway and I grab my purse before starting to head to the front door. I stop when I realize that Damon isn’t following me.
“Oh sorry, is it not time to leave yet?” I ask him.
He flashes me a grin that has me thinking we should stay in and not go anywhere.
“You won’t need your purse, we’re just going up to the roof,” he says.
I’m excited. I’ve only been up to the roof once, but it was a particularly memorable moment of my relationship with Damon, one of the few times that he’s opened up to me about his past.
He takes my hand and leads me up the stairs in the back of the penthouse, and onto the roof. It’s a cold night, but the sky is perfectly clear. I gaze out at the New York City skyline, thinking that I somehow love it even more than the view of Paris from the Eiffel Tower. Probably because it’s the place where I’ve felt the safest. It’s where I’ve been loved like I’ve been longing for my entire life.
“Should we order some pizza?” I ask absentmindedly, turning around to look at Damon. Much to my surprise he’s standing there bare chested, his shirt, tucked in a pouch around his waist that I didn’t notice before. While the sight of his chest is always impressive, what threatens to take my breath away are his majestic wings that he’s unfurled. They sway slightly in the wind, the silver flecks in the feathers sparkling under the city lights.
“What are you doing?” I ask, still not catching on.
“We’re going flying,” he tells me. A wave of excitement, followed by panic, comes over me.
“Are we sure that’s a good idea? I’ve really only flown while I’ve been sleeping. I don’t know if that really counts, I mean, what if I fall?” I babble nervously.
I feel a sharp snap as my wings shoot out of me involuntarily, as if they had to come out at the mere thought of me using them.
“I would say that your wings are ready to at least try,” Damon says with a laugh, watching my wings with affection, and a rising lust. “You really are perfect for me,” he whispers, so softly that I might have imagined he said anything if it weren’t for the adoring look he’s giving me.
My wings flutter in response and his grin grows even broader. He arches his wings and pushes off from the ground, soaring up so fast that he’s just a tiny speck above me in a mere second. He comes back a moment later, a heady euphoria written all over his features.
In that moment, I long for a place that we can be ourselves. A place where Damon can fly whenever he wants.
“What are you waiting for?” he says, reaching out his hand towards me. I take it, and all the nervousness disappears. My angel would never let me fall.
Trying to remember everything that Lexington, my gargoyle instructor had taught me while I was in Aiden’s control, I spring off the ground, feeling a rush of adrenaline when I don’t immediately fall back down. My wings act like they’ve been doing this forever, and maybe they have, but it all feels new to me.
I hover in place, getting used to the weight of my wings. I eventually feel Damon’s hands on my hips.
“You’ve never been hotter,” he whispers, and I let out an embarrassing giggle.
He takes my hand and pulls me upwards. My wings have no problem keeping up with his, and we soar higher and higher into the air until it’s almost like we could touch the stars. I should be freezing, but I’m not. I’ve never felt more alive. I was meant to do this. This is the real me.
“Come on,” he tells me, and he begins to move north. I follow closely behind him. We fly for a few hours, Damon showing me all his moves and me trying to copy them all.
Finally, when my wings are beginning to ache from using them so heavily, Damon begins to descend. It’s actually more of a free fall since he tucks his wings into his body and speeds off to the ground like a bullet. I follow slowly behind, my descent much more gradual. When I finally get to the ground where Damon has been waiting, I’m surprised to see we’ve landed in the middle of a forest. It’s beautiful and there’s a few feet of snow covering everything.
I’m not equipped to be walking around in snow but after about twenty feet we happen upon a small log cabin that’s cheerily lit. Puffs of smoke are coming out of the chimney. Damon marches right up to the door and pulls a key out of his little pouch, unlocking the door and stepping inside. I’m still watching him in wonder, so he comes back outside and carries me to the cottage, and across the threshold. I can’t help but think it’s what we’ll do if we ever get married. Gazing up at his god-like features as he sets me down on some blankets that are set up in front of the fire, I would love to marry him. I would love to marry all of them.
“What is this place?” I ask, gazing around. It appears to be a small hunting lodge. I’m sitting in a large living room and kitchen that’s centered around a giant stone fireplace. A ladder on the wall leads up to a second level where I can see a bed and desk. It’s small, but it’s perfect and I immediately love it.
“This is just a place I have when I want to get away from everything for a while,” he says, pouring some hot water into two mugs and adding some instant cocoa mix. He brings it over to me and settles in next to me, both of us watching the flames and sipping our drinks contentedly.
“We still don’t know each other very well,” I say absentmindedly.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I had no idea that you had this place. Where exactly are we?” I ask.
“Ontario,” he tells me with a laugh. “Just close enough that I can get here flying, but far enough away that I feel like I’ve gotten away when I come here.”
“Are you upset that I hadn’t mentioned this place?” he asks after a moment. “I knew I was going to take you here, and I wanted it to be a surprise.”
I give him a small kiss. “I’m not mad at all,” I tell him. “I’m just glad that we have forever to find out everything about each other.” Even as the words come out of my mouth, I feel hypocritical. If only I was keeping secrets from Damon because I wanted it to be a surprise rather than I was worried he would hate me once he found them out.
We talk for hours about anything and everything. Damon so rarely lets his guard down, but he does tonight, and I soak it in. When it nears midnight, he leads me to the giant window that sits on the other side of the room from the f
ireplace. He opens it up, the freezing cold barreling into the room.
“Look,” he says, bringing a fur blanket and wrapping me in it as I try to see whatever he’s talking about. After a minute I gasp in amazement as a ribbon of color appears in the sky. Streams of emerald and violet dance and twirl in the space between the stars. It’s the first time that I’ve ever seen the Northern Lights, and it doesn’t disappoint. After watching the vibrant shades dance and flow across the sky I wasn’t sure that I would ever be impressed with fireworks again. This was the greatest show that I had ever seen.
The lights finally drift away and I step back from the window so that Damon can close it back up. “Thank you,” I whisper to him, marveling at the gift he has just given me.
Our eyes lock, a mutual sexually charged stare. A silent shared want and need. I know he wants me, just as I want him. Why am I fighting this? I want to open my mouth and tell him exactly what I want. I want to ask him to follow me up the ladder to his bedroom...to finally give into him, but I’m unable to move. Despite my inability to speak the words, I know my eyes are silently asking the question.
His stare mirrors my intense desire-the sexual yearning I imagine is etched across my face speaking louder than my unspoken want possibly could. Yet he remains in place. Waiting for my invitation? Does he need me to say the words aloud? I want to…I want him…
A hint of tortured resignation crosses his face, breaking our heated silence, “I need to go get some more wood for the fire…”
No! Don’t go! Startled panic sets in as he starts to walk to the door.
Damon…don’t go! My mind is racing with what to say.
“Damon.”
I release his name in an eruption of desperation, laced with the want and need that has been building into an explosion.
In an abrupt whirlwind of movement, Damon extends his arm, preventing the door from closing. “I haven’t earned it yet,” he says softly before he heads outside, leaving me a trembling, yearning mess.
I wait for him dejectedly on the couch for an hour, not knowing what he meant when he said he hadn’t earned it and wanting to talk about it. I finally fall asleep before he returns. I’m only faintly aware of the fluttering of my stomach as he flies me upstairs, settling me in the bed before dimming the lights and settling behind me.