I wanted to ask what he meant by that, but knew it wasn’t my place. We were having a friendly drink to celebrate finishing what had been a busy few weeks working alongside each other, that was all this was and I had to accept that.
“Here you go.” A tattooed arm reached around me and placed a couple of drinks on the table.
I turned and smiled up at Elijah. “Thank you, but you didn’t need to.”
“I wanted to congratulate you on a job well done, so yes, I really did. Oh and FYI Sam, Hannah Brown just walked in.”
Sam groaned. “Oh fuck, that’s all I need.”
“You’re not still after her are you?” I asked, giggling. “You were trying to get into her knickers at-.” I stopped speaking because it’d been the night of the dreaded party.
Elijah shifted at my side and placed a bottle in front of his brother. “I don’t think he’s feeling it any more, are you Sam?”
I breathed out on a shaky smile. “Why is that?” I asked, thankful for Elijah half changing the subject.
“She wants a husband and I’m not willing, apart from which she talks about her bloody dog all the time.”
We all started to laugh and conversation was a little easier by the time Rachel re-joined us.
* * *
“So, what’s your next job?” Elijah asked, as we distractedly watched Sam dancing with a tall, blonde girl. Rachel was standing with some friends from her work, chatting animatedly to them, leaving Elijah and I alone.
“Scotland, would you believe.”
Elijah’s eyes widened. “Scotland. How long for?”
I thought I detected disappointment in his voice but was probably imagining it. Maybe it was wishful thinking.
“A month. It’s a hotel that is being refurbished.”
“Oh, okay. Is Claudia going with you?” he asked, taking a sip of his beer.
“Yes, but only for a week and then she’s coming back to keep the office running.”
“Where is she tonight, by the way? I think Bob was going to try his luck again.”
I began to laugh, remembering the day in the kitchen all those weeks ago. “She had a family commitment, her girlfriend’s dad’s seventieth birthday party.”
Elijah nodded and then turned back to watch Sam. Suddenly everything seemed a little awkward as it had with Sam earlier and I couldn’t stand it. We were inches apart and every time he breathed or moved, his arm brushed mine, sending my heart into overdrive. My body was yearning for his touch, it knew it and had missed it.
“It’ll be strange not seeing you at the house on Monday,” he finally said.
I turned to face him, watching as his eyes stared at my lips and then moved over the rest of my face. I held my breath as he reached out a hand and took a strand of my hair between his thumb and forefinger.
“I’ve got used to seeing you.” His voice was soft and his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “It was like the last five years had never happened.”
My heart stalled as his arm dropped to his side, before shoving his hand into the pocket of his jeans. This was it, if I was going to do anything I had to do it now before I left town for a month. If I didn’t, I might regret it more than not listening to him five years ago.
“Elijah,” I whispered, taking a step closer to him. “I-.”
“I can’t Amy,” he said, holding up a hand to stop me advancing any further. “I’m so sorry, but I just can’t.”
Goose bumps sprang up over my skin and the warmth I had been feeling in my chest had chilled to an aching iciness. My body felt as though it had been doused with cold water.
“I’m sorry,” I gasped. “I shouldn’t have. I just...” I had no idea what to say to him. How could I have got it so wrong? “I’d better get Rach, Adam is picking us up soon.”
I glanced at my watch, realising we still had half an hour, but I had to get out of there, even if it meant waiting in the cool night for Adam to pick us up.
“You don’t need to go,” Elijah said, putting a hand to my elbow.
“I do, I really do.” I gave him a small smile and picked up my bag. “Thanks for the drinks, and I hope the rest of the garden goes well. Say bye to Sam for me.”
Elijah nodded and drew in a breath. “I will,” he replied running a hand over his head.
Giving him one last smile, I moved away and on unsteady legs, made my way over to Rachel. I had only gone about five or six steps, when I heard Elijah calling my name. I stopped and closed my eyes, wondering whether I should turn around. When I felt his heat at my back, there was no decision to make and I spun around to face him. We were inches apart and as he reached up to cup my cheek, I saw my own pain reflected in his eyes.
“Amy,” he whispered on a croak. “I need to tell you…I want you to know.”
I shook my head. “No Eli, it’s fine. I understand.”
We looked at each other as things that we couldn’t put into words passed between us. With the feeling that I was breaking apart, I turned to leave again, but stopped when Elijah groaned out, ‘Fuck it’. He reached out for me and moved his head closer to mine when something over my shoulder caught his eye. His hand dropped as though my skin had burned him and he took a step back.
“I’m sorry Amy,” he said, his voice low and pained. “I can’t.” And then he stepped away, moving over to Sam.
With tears burning my eyes, I watched as they both left the dance floor and circled around the bar to join a tall, pretty brunette who was unbuttoning her jacket a couple of feet away from me. She was with a group of friends, but when she saw Elijah she squealed and ran to him, throwing her arms around his neck.
“I didn’t know you’d be here,” she cried. “I thought you were going for a meal.”
Eli shook his head, his eyes firmly on her pretty face. “Last minute decision.”
My breath hitched, wondering why he’d lied – coming to Ziggy’s had always been our plan.
“Hey, everyone,” she gushed, turning to her friends. “This is Elijah, my boyfriend.”
I didn’t hear any more, I closed out their chatter and walked over to Rachel, the tears welling in my eyes and my shallow breath instantly telling her that we needed to go. As we moved past Elijah, Sam, and the group of girls, I held onto my friend’s arm for support, and when I heard someone ask the girl if it was this weekend she was moving in with Elijah, I almost crumpled into a heap. Rachel held me tight and guided me outside, and wrapped her arms around me while I cried, waiting for Adam to arrive.
I had no one to blame but myself. I should never have given up on Elijah five years ago and I should never have allowed him back into my heart, because it hurt just as badly the second time around.
Elijah
aged 28
Working at Tino’s for the last week without Amy, and Claudia for that matter, had become boring. Over their last week or so, I’d become used to spending time chatting with them over a coffee. I’d become used to seeing my ex-wife tottering around the house on her bloody high heels and I’d become used to watching her and wishing for things that I didn’t have a right to wish for.
Things with Mia and I had become a little strained in the last week. I couldn’t get it out of my head what I’d been about to do at Ziggy’s before I spotted her walking in. It made me feel like shit that I’d almost done something that I’d never done before – not unless you counted me kissing Sadie Pardew when I was supposed to be Poppy James’ boyfriend. We were only seven, but my ‘cheating’ had still made Poppy cry.
That night with Amy though, I couldn’t stop myself, because call me stupid, I felt as though she and I were joined and I was unable to pull away from her. What was that thing we were taught at school; The Common Law of Attraction, which states, we magnetically attract circumstances, events, and people that are in harmony with our dominant thoughts, emotions, and patterns of self-talk. Well, Amy was most definitely one of my most dominant thoughts. She was the one who, for over ten years, had evoked most of my emotions, b
e they deliriously happy or fucking heart-broken, it was always her, so it was no wonder my feet followed her without thought.
I had wanted to kiss her so badly, I could practically taste her lips on mine, feel her tongue against mine. I was a thirsty man and at that moment I could only imagine Amy quenching that thirst. I almost did it too, and then I saw Mia coming into the club and it shocked me back to reality. I couldn’t do that to her – I loved her, maybe I did love Amy too, probably more than I did Mia, I’d loved her first and that wasn’t something that was easily erased from your heart. The point was, I was with Mia, not Amy.
The fact that I didn’t do anything didn’t stop the guilt I was feeling and Mia wasn’t stupid, she knew that something was wrong, but had no idea what. For some reason I hadn’t told her that Amy and I were both working for Tino. Another reason why I felt like I couldn’t look her in the eye. Sam had told me that withholding such information should tell me something about mine and Mia’s relationship. I told him to fuck off and look at his own love life. Needless to say, I was currently on top of my big brother’s shit list.
All the guilt and regret swilling around my body was the reason that I’d told Mia we should go away for the weekend, seeing as I had a free one coming up. I thought it might be a good way for me to reconnect with her, and for me to push aside all the thoughts and feelings I’d been having. Mia was excited about the idea which was why we were looking at places that had last minute vacancies. It hadn’t escaped my notice that my first instinct had been to type Scotland into the search engine, which was ridiculous because I had no idea whereabouts in Scotland, Amy was.
“What about this?” Mia asked, turning her laptop towards me. “It’s an apartment overlooking the river.”
As she scrolled through the photographs, I murmured my agreement that it looked good, but there wasn’t much enthusiasm there. Mia sensed it because she grinned at me and started to type into the search field.
“I know, what about York. It’s supposed to be a great night out. I went with the school years ago, and it was lovely if I remember rightly.”
As Mia scanned the results, I pinched the bridge of my nose, not sure whether anything she showed me excited me, but knowing I needed to try for her sake. Endeavouring to look interested with the hotels she suggested, I almost sighed with relief when my mobile rang. It was an unknown number, but I didn’t care, answering it gave me the excuse I needed.
“Sorry,” I said with an apologetic smile. “It might be work.”
“Okay, babe,” she answered, with her usual brightness.
Pushing up from the sofa, I gave Mia one last regretful look as I left the room, answering the call as I did.
“Elijah Cooper,” I said, walking into the kitchen and closing the door.
“Oh hey, Mr Cooper, my name’s Johnny Kavanagh and I was given your number by Tino Grimaldi. He said you’re doing some landscaping for him.”
“Yes, that’s right,” I replied, trying to place the name that rang a bell. “I’ve almost finished there actually.”
“Yeah, he said. I met him at an event this weekend and he also said what a great job you were doing.”
My eyes widened as it suddenly hit me. Tino was at a sporting dinner at the weekend and he’d told me all about talking to ‘the big man with funny shape balls’. That, with the accent, made realisation hit. This was fucking Johnny Kavanagh, Ireland Rugby’s former star Centre, winner of numerous trophies and one-time Young Sports Personality of the Year.
“Well, that’s good to know.” I quickly grabbed my diary and a pen, excitement making my heart thud. Two star sportsmen would be fucking amazing references to have. “So, how can I help you?”
“The thing is, Mr Cooper-.”
“Please call me Elijah,” I interjected.
“Sure, and please call me Johnny. I can’t say I like being called fucking Mr Kavanagh, it makes me feel as old as my da, and he’s a good looking fella alright, but he’s old. Although I’m sure my ma would disagree.”
We both laughed and continued to talk for another twenty minutes about the reason for Johnny’s call. It seemed that having retired from competitive rugby, he was taking up a role as a rugby pundit for the BBC. That meant spending a great deal of his time in London, so he and his wife, Shannon, were moving there for a time. Apparently, the gardens of the house they’d bought weren’t ideal for their two rugby mad boys, Rory and Connor.
“So, you’re happy to come over and see it?” Johnny asked.
“Yeah sure.” I flicked through my diary. “How does this weekend sound?”
In the depths of my mind, I knew I was letting Mia down over our weekend away, but surely she’d understand – it was work.
“Perfect. Shannon and I will be over for the last time before she can’t fly any more. We’re having a little girl in four weeks,” he added, with a huge amount of pride in his voice. “Caoimhe. Shannon insists she’s born in Ireland, like our boys.”
“Well congratulations.”
My mind wandered, then Johnny telling me that he’d be travelling back and forth until the house and garden were sorted, broke my thoughts.
We made our final arrangements for me to visit them and ended the call. As I closed my diary and pocketed my phone, I couldn’t help but feel a little bit of relief that the search for last minute weekend breaks would have to be curtailed.
Amy
aged 28
The Scottish air was clean and clear, and I had to be honest, I’d enjoyed the peace and quiet of the little village of Anaclellan. I’d been really busy since I’d arrived, working with builders and decorators, trying to create the vision that Mr & Mrs Murray had for their hotel.
I’d persuaded them to veer away from the tartan and heather theme, instead going for a New England look of stripped floorboards, comfy couches, and hurricane lamps and candles. It was all in pale blues, creams, and lilac and was looking good.
It was only a thirty room hotel, and the major building work had been completed before I arrived, with only a couple of bathrooms and the bar needing to be finished. The decorators were on their last day and I was pretty sure I’d be finished a few days ahead of time.
The only fly in the ointment was Finlay, the Murray’s son. He regularly let me know his opinion on the refurbishment. He was a nice guy generally, but his desire to purchase horrifyingly ugly, peach, silk bed runners for all the beds was getting a little annoying. At his fourth or maybe ninetieth time of suggesting it, I lost my temper and threw the Hotel Linens R Us catalogue into the bin and emptied a bottle of water over it. Since then Finlay had kept a quiet distance.
There was one other thing bothering me and that was Elijah – I was missing him and had a constant lump of pain pushing against my breastbone. I knew it was my own fault. I’d been stubborn and childish; but I’d also been heartbroken and feeling vulnerable at the time, unfortunately it’d taken me five years to realise how wrong I’d been in not taking time to see if we could work things out. The problem was, I didn’t think I’d ever un-see what I had that night. It was still as vivid in my mind as if it was yesterday, and no matter how much I loved Elijah – had always loved Elijah – I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to forget and properly move on.
“Are you wanting a drink, Amy?” Finlay asked, smiling brightly at me. “I’m having a wee one, if you’d like to join me.”
I blinked rapidly, wondering when he’d come into the lounge, I’d been so lost in my own thoughts.
“That would be lovely, Finlay, thank you.”
I pulled my feet under me on the huge, squashy sofa which I was sitting on in the Murrays’ lounge. Mr & Mrs Murray- Iain and Marcia- had already gone up to bed as they were early risers. I usually went up to my room soon after them, liking to get up and out for a long walk before I started my working day. The rain had been sheeting down all day though, and Iain had said it was forecast to continue through to the following evening, so I decided not to walk the next morning and maybe sleep in
a little longer instead, as long as I was up and ready to talk to the floor layers at 8 a.m.
“Brandy?”
I nodded and watched as Finlay put some ice into a glass and then poured some brandy over the top, making it crack and crackle. Once he poured himself a whiskey, he handed me my drink and with his large hand curled around a crystal glass, he sat down on the armchair.
“Not long left now,” he said, swirling the amber liquid around.
“No, we’ve made good time. It helped that the contractors were able to start before I got here.”
“Well, I’ll be sad to see you go.”
Finlay flashed me a perfect smile and sat back in the chair, stretching his legs out in front of him. He was tall and lean, with strawberry-blond hair and pale-grey eyes, and if my head hadn’t been so caught up in Elijah, I may well have thought about something happening between us – I was pretty sure that he found me attractive because I’d caught him looking at me when he didn’t think I’d notice, a few times.
“Do you have anyone at home?” he asked.
I frowned, pausing with my glass halfway to my lips. “My family?”
“No,” he replied, his Scottish lilt as smooth as the brandy I was sipping. “A man.”
There was that pain again.
“No.” I cleared my throat and moved my cheeks to make a half smile.
“So, would you go to dinner with me then?”
Finlay remained relaxed in his chair, watching me carefully as I drank some more brandy. I wasn’t sure what to say. If I said no would it appear rude; he could simply be offering as a thank you for the work I’d done over the last three weeks. But what if I said yes and he did think it was something more, that it might lead to something more?
Then Finlay laid it all out there and made it plain why he’d asked.
“You know I find you attractive, Amy and I’d love nothing better than to take you out before you leave us. We’re both single, so what would the harm be?” He leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees. “You’ve been working non-stop for three weeks, so why not have some fun with me – for one night.”
Elijah: The Cooper Brothers Page 11