He hadn’t even noticed when his brother left the castle.
And nothing had sent an icy spike down his spine more than that fact.
He’d asked every cousin still around—Duncan, Angus, and Carson—and none had seen Gilroy leave. The last time anyone had seen him was at daybreak the morning after Juliet had left with Ness, when Carson was pissing outside on the south wall.
“Mi’lord—he’s back.”
Evan spun away from Duncan and looked at the stableboy who was panting from running up from the stables. “At the castle yet?”
“No, sir. Just walking up now.”
Evan gave the boy a nod and strode toward the west door of the castle. He intercepted his brother just outside the great hall before Gilroy could escape up the main staircase to his room.
“Brother.”
Gilroy’s feet stopped and Evan waved him into the empty great hall. His brother followed, not saying a word until Evan closed the door.
His arms clamped across his chest, Gilroy’s eyes narrowed at Evan. “You knew?”
“Knew what?”
“Knew that Juliet was taking Ness away.”
Shit. Evan froze. Who in the hell had told Gilroy that? Or had Gilroy seen them in woods—heard them? “Aye. I did know.”
Evan stared at his brother, waiting for the explosion.
It didn’t come.
No explosion. No berating. No demands. No glasses being thrown, furniture smashed. So far from typical where his brother was concerned.
Gilroy’s head merely cocked to the side, the only displeasure showing on his face a slight frown. His arms unthreaded and he rapped his knuckles onto the heavy oak table. “Since you didn’t tell me before, perhaps ye would like to share with me now where they went?”
Evan’s hands lifted, palms up, with a sigh. “I don’t ken. I didn’t ask. I only know they left. Where have you been, Gil?”
Gilroy’s head bobbed as he looked down at the rows of arrows lined on the table, fingering the silver tips. “Still playing that?”
“Playing what? Where have you been?”
“Edinburgh.” Gilroy’s left hand twitched, plucking at the bottom hem of his tailcoat. “There were reports of the two of them moving that direction, but I could find no trace of Ness or Juliet.”
He stepped away from Evan to grab a green apple from a basket on the far side of the table. Biting into the fruit, Gilroy slouched onto a wooden chair and tossed his left leg high up onto the arm of it. His forefinger flipped out from the apple to point at Evan as he chewed. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Tell you what?”
A smile, crooked and peculiar cut across Gilroy’s lips. “That you planned this. That ye were trying to get rid of Ness for me? I didn’t expect it from you. It was a bold move.”
“Get them to leave? Why would I do that?” Evan’s brows lifted. “I tried to convince them to stay.”
“What?” His smile vanished, shock rolling across Gilroy’s face. He jumped to his feet, setting himself directly in front of Evan. “What did you say?”
“I tried to get them to stay.”
The tip of Gilroy’s head tilted forward, his glare slicing through Evan. “You didn’t plan on removing Ness from this place?”
Evan’s brow furrowed as he shook his head. “Why would I do that?”
A growl shook up from his brother’s throat and he pushed past Evan, stalking out of the room and up the stairs.
Evan stared through the open door for a long minute, puzzling together Gilroy’s strange behavior.
Someone had told his brother that Evan had been the cause of Ness’s leaving.
Who in the hell would have done that?
~~~
Drink hadn’t helped.
Letting Duncan beat him into a sweaty, heaping mess hadn’t helped.
Tossing and turning in his empty bed for hours on end hadn’t helped.
It’d been three days and Juliet hadn’t returned.
He’d held out hope that she would appear—appear and forgive him. Bring Ness to wherever she needed to be and then return to Whetland. How long would that take?
Evan stood at the entrance of the solarium with his heaping plate of breakfast, needing to get real food into his belly instead of heading straight to the whisky bottle as he had been. He looked down the corridor.
He’d walked this direction by habit, as he always went to the library and his grandfather with his morning meal. But then he’d paused when he realized the door was still closed.
Served him right. Without knowing anything about why she’d left, his grandfather understood quite clearly that Evan had driven Juliet away.
Which he had.
A sigh stifled in his throat, he started to turn back toward the empty table in the solarium, until he heard a creak.
The creak of the library door.
He looked over his shoulder down the hallway. The library door was now open the slightest crack.
An invitation if there ever was one.
Steeling himself, he turned towards the library and nudged the door open, sticking his head into the room. His grandfather was just getting back to his wingback chair by the fireplace, lowering himself onto the seat.
Evan stepped halfway into the room. “I didn’t think you were talking to me.”
Setting his cane to lean alongside the chair next to his leg, his grandfather waved his hand in the air. “I’m not. But I have some things to say so I’m lifting the ban.”
Evan moved fully into the room and shut the door behind him. He went to the table to set his plate down and then turned to the earl.
“The lass is still gone?”
Evan offered one nod. “She is.”
“Fool boy, you’re letting a lifetime of denying yourself become a future of denying yourself.” He waved Evan over to him, pointing at the chair opposite him. He waited for Evan to cross the room before he continued. “Ye’ve never lived yer true heart, my lad.”
His hand on the top of the opposite chair, Evan couldn’t sit down. He’d been sitting, sulking for three days and he was done with sitting. “I’ve never heard ye discuss hearts, Grandfather.”
“It’s about time I did. I should have long ago, so this all could have been different. Ye are the future of the line, Ev. The true future and I need ye to embrace that.”
Evan shook his head, choosing his words with care. “I don’t know if that’s to be. But Gilroy and his heirs will make fine earls.”
“That boy?” His grandfather spit off to the side. “Never. I’ll hold on as long as I need to, to make sure Gil doesn’t inherit.”
Evan stilled, reeling back slightly. “But you’re not well.”
“I can live forever.” His ancient grey eyes skewered Evan. “Don’t try to rewrite history, lad.”
“I’m not.”
“Except ye are. What? You swore an oath to Gil when ye were a wee whelp and now ye think holding true to that vow is the thing that makes ye a man?”
Shit. How long had his grandfather suspected—known? His look narrowed on his grandfather. “What do you know of it?”
“I know ye can be an idiot. Yer the first born, Ev. The rightful heir. History does not change just because ye wish it so.” He leaned toward Evan, his voice dropping into low plea. “But never mind all that business—it is past. Forget about what ye promised Gil. Ye have a chance to change this—change this for all of us, Ev.”
“I cannot do that to my brother.”
“But ye can do it to yerself?” He lifted his cane, jabbing it in the air at Evan. “To me? Deny everything ye have right to?”
Evan’s hand flipped up from the back of the chair. “You’ll be dead. I’m the one that will live with it. And I’ve always been at peace with Gilroy’s heirs taking over the title.”
“Except it’s not just you that’ll have to live with it. That bonnie lass ye married, she’ll have to live with it as well. She loves ye, Ev. It was clear with every glance she
shot your way. Did ye not see the way her pinky would always stretch out to ye when ye were standing next to each other?” He lifted his hand, wiggling his gnarled pinky. “Just the flick of that tiny digit, so that some part of her was touching some part of you. Yer arm, yer leg. That pinky was always wagging.”
He thumped the tip of his cane into the floor by his feet. “I’ve never seen two people deny themselves as fervently as you two did, when everything ye wanted was in each other. Two more stubborn, martyring idiots there never were. But ye both have spines of honor on your side, and that makes ye the ones to lead Whetland into the next generation.”
“But Gilroy—”
His cane slammed hard into the floor. “You’re the dammed future of this family, Evan. You.”
“I’m not.”
“What, ye think Gil can handle it? He was never the future. It’s always been you. Can you honestly tell me ye think he’ll do a better job of it than you?
Evan shrugged. “It doesn’t matter what I think.”
“You’re the heir I would choose a thousand times over.” His grandfather’s voice softened almost to a whisper. “Why can ye never see that in yourself?”
The world suddenly heavy upon him, Evan sank into the chair. His fingers went to his eyes, attempting to rub away everything that he didn’t want to acknowledge but knew he had to. His hand dropped away from his face and he looked to his grandfather. “I cannot want things I know will get taken away.”
The earl nodded, relief in his eyes as he finally approved of what Evan said. “Yet ye want Juliet.”
Evan exhaled a defeated breath. “I do.”
“Then want her.” The earl leaned forward in his chair, his voice rock solid, the words forceful from his lips. “Want her. Get her. Find the lass.”
It was enough to make Evan stand against the weight crushing him down, all of the demons he’d been wrestling with the last several days crashing down about him.
Standing, he looked around the library, searching for a place to start. Now what?
In their last conversation, he hadn’t asked any of the right questions of Juliet. Where was she taking Ness? How was she going to get there? Did she have coin, food?
Anything a sane man would have asked. Not that she would have answered any of his questions. Better that she didn’t. That was the only choice for the rage he’d brought her.
But he hadn’t been sane. He’d been desperate. Desperate to hold onto the first thing in his life that he truly wanted. Wanted for him and him alone. Wanted no matter what.
And instead, he’d driven her away. Exiled her.
Bloody idiot.
And now there was only one thing to do. Find her. Throw himself at her mercy.
With a nod to his grandfather, he stalked out of the library, his mind a whirlwind.
It only made sense that Juliet and Ness had travelled to Edinburgh as Gilroy had thought—from there, they could disappear anywhere.
But Evan had knowledge on his side.
He knew Juliet would never abandon her friends in London or Hoppler or the Den of Diablo. She would at least write, tell them where she was. The loyalty that ran deep through her soul would demand it. And he would do whatever it took to find out where she was. To beg her forgiveness. To make right—with Juliet, with Ness—all that he should have long ago.
But first he had to deal with Gilroy.
Evan found him in the great hall, pulling arrows from the round rolled hay targets. He walked along the length of the long hall and stopped next to his brother, joining him in pulling arrows embedded deep in the hay.
Gilroy reeked of whisky and it was not even midmorning.
His mouth already curdling at the thought about what he was going to say, Evan glanced at Gilroy. “I’ve been pondering it, and I cannot help but think on what an opportunity this is for us.”
Gilroy stacked two arrows into the bundle in his left arm, then looked to Evan. “Opportunity?”
Evan nodded. “We need to wash ourselves of them—Ness and Juliet. We’ll start over, the both of us. We’ll divorce them both on abandonment charges. Everyone already knows they left together, so it will be easy. With them gone for good, we start over. With a new wife for you, the earldom is still yours, brother. You’ll have children and the future of this place in your hands.”
“And what will you have?”
“My integrity.” He met Gilroy’s eyes with honest earnest. “Keeping the vow I made to you. It has always been the most important thing. You know that. I’ve never veered from it. I’ll keep women on the side as I’ve done, but none will come to Whetland. It was a mistake, bringing Juliet here and presenting her to Grandfather. Lies that never should have happened—it was an idiot’s quest.”
Gilroy yanked a deeply embedded arrow with a grunt. “That it was.”
“I should have known Grandfather would take advantage of the situation, forcing a marriage upon us like that. And now he won’t even look at me.” Evan stood up from stooping to gather rogue arrows. Looking around the room, he shook his head. “But I cannot stand being in this place another minute. I need to get out. Possibly to Edinburgh.”
Gilroy’s look snapped to him. “Why not to London? And then ye can gather up a new lass like ye did before. Keep her here on a cottage on the far grounds. And maybe ye grab one for me this time.” Gilroy chuckled. “Just don’t marry this one.”
Evan shrugged, his fingers smoothing over the fletching of an arrow. “Edinburgh is more to my liking these days.”
Gilroy’s eyes squinted at him. “You’re going to go look for her, aren’t ye?”
“I don’t ken what you’re talking about, Gil.”
“Your wife.” Gilroy shook his head, stalking back along the length of the hall to the table where he dumped his load of arrows and grabbed his half-full glass, swallowing a gulp of whisky. “A fool’s errand. Ye waste your time. If I couldn’t find her and Ness, she can’t be found.”
The smallest nugget—Gilroy hadn’t once mentioned looking for them after noting it in passing when he’d arrived back at the castle. Evan forced his voice to stay nonchalant. “So you looked hard for them?”
Gilroy shrugged.
Evan nodded with a sigh and he dropped his arrows onto the table. “You’re probably right. I’m looking for answers to questions she cannot give me. London it is. Then maybe I’ll inquire in Edinburgh on my return.”
“Good luck with that.”
Evan moved to the door, then paused at the entrance. The way Gilroy had said “good luck” rang so hollow, almost mocking, that it confirmed everything Evan was thinking. The odd comments Gilroy had made. The weird thought that Evan had planned all of this to get rid of Ness and Juliet. His brother’s complete lack of anger that his wife had just left him.
Gilroy knew way more than he’d admitted to.
Evan was certain of it.
He nodded to his brother. “I’ll be on my way within the hour, Gil. Take care of Grandfather and the estate. I’ll write when I have an idea of when I’ll return.”
Evan left the great hall.
Left Whetland.
{ Chapter 30 }
Juliet cracked her eyes at the sound.
Or she thought she did. She had to touch her eyelashes to see if they were open or not. The blackness that had surrounded her for far too long played with her mind.
Her eyes open or closed—she saw the same thing either way. Blackness. The candle had sputtered out days ago.
Or had it been hours ago?
The darkness had turned her world into a sinking void where time wasn’t a tangible concept.
But her stomach, her parched mouth, told her it had been days.
Days of the darkness. Days of waiting for her body to fail her, to shrink to bones and leave this earth. Her mouth and her tongue parched and no longer pliable. Screaming for help for hours on end hadn’t helped that matter. The stone walls were too thick and all she’d done was waste precious energy.
&n
bsp; Desperate for water, she’d tried again and again to press her tongue to the cool stone beneath her, soaking up whatever dampness she could. It would work for one blessed moment until the filth of the floor adhered to her tongue, soaking away what little moisture she’d gained. She’d been left with the stench of rotted muck wafting through her nose for hours.
Gilroy had left her to die here. That she was sure of.
For one fleeting moment before he’d left, she’d thought he’d keep her alive merely to find Ness. She lost that hope within a day once her mind started to leave her. Once the demons in the dark had started to swirl about her, teeth gnashing.
Demons that waited for her.
Demons only kept at bay by the mirage of Evan she’d created. Sitting next to her. Holding her hand. Encouraging her to fight.
She’d done it for him. Fought what was happening for hours—days—all of her nails torn back and bloodied by trying to loosen the clamp about her ankle, pick the lock open, and yank the chain from the floor. She’d followed each link of the chain with the feel of her fingertips, smashing them on the floor, hoping to find one loose link. There were none.
But Evan still sat next to her, the specks of blue in his eyes intent on her, willing her to fight, to not let the darkness take her.
As long as he was next to her, she’d hold on.
But he was starting to wane.
The sound echoed into the stone chamber again, metal grinding against metal. The door starting to shift on its hinges.
And just like that, Evan left her.
Left her in the dark, lying on her side, staring into the blackness where she thought the door had been. Left her to face on her own whatever was about to appear. Left her to try and scramble some semblance of sanity back into her brain.
Left her alone.
Damn him.
The squeak of the door opening meant someone had found her, or most likely, that Gilroy was back.
She tried to move her lips, rubbing her tongue across the roof of her mouth, attempting to create moisture that refused to come. If it wasn’t Gilroy, she needed to be ready to beg for her life. There wasn’t any other way out of here.
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