by E. L. Todd
She stared at me for nearly a minute, her thoughts unknown. Then she spoke. “I went out with Natalie tonight. Everything was fine until I saw Drew…”
I didn’t understand what she was upset about, but instead of asking questions, I let her keep talking, knowing she would get to the point when she was ready.
“And he was making out with some woman.” Her tears bubbled all over again, turning into globs of misery. They were the size of hail, and they carried the same weight. They billowed over and streaked down both cheeks, shining like diamonds.
Pain erupted everywhere in my body, and not just in my heart. A physical affliction had wounded me but I didn’t carry the scar. More than anyone, I knew exactly how she felt. I knew what it was like to walk into your worst nightmare and never walk out of it.
She sniffed then wiped her tears away, shame written all over her face. “I know I shouldn’t cry. Crying is stupid and for weak people.”
“Crying is a sign of emotion. Those who don’t cry are the weak ones because they’re too cowardice to actually feel anything.” I stroked her cheek and wished I could make all this pain go away. Now I was even more grateful I didn’t give in to my physical demands and do something I could never take back.
“I thought you would be annoyed by it…”
“Do I look annoyed?” Without looking at my face, I knew she could see the sadness in my eyes. Whatever was in my heart reached the surface, thudding with misery. “Did you love him?” She was so worked up over it I could only make the assumption.
“No. So I know my tears are even more stupid.”
I wiped a tear away with the pad of my thumb. “Not stupid.”
“I just feel stupid, you know? I trusted him and thought he was someone worth trusting. But then he goes and…it makes me question my judgment.”
I knew exactly what she meant. “Did you slap him?”
“No. I just walked out.”
“So, he doesn’t even know he’s been caught?”
She shook her head.
“You’ll tell him off later?”
“I guess. Whenever I’m up to it. It’s not about pride, but I don’t want him to see me this way. I don’t want him to realize how much he hurt me. I just don’t want him to know how well he played me.”
I knew that feeling better than anyone. ”Yeah.”
“I guess you were right,” she whispered. “You can say it.”
“Say what?”
“I told you so.” She didn’t look at my face, her eyes directed at my chest.
“Taylor, I didn’t want to be right. I hate that I am.”
“Yeah, me too.”
I ran my fingers through her hair, a failed attempt to comfort her.
“I came here because I wanted to do something to forget about the pain. I want to fall into something stronger than misery. You’re a sex machine, so I thought this was where I should go.” She didn’t need to explain herself but she continued to do so. “Maybe you’re the one who has everything figured out. You have these meaningless flings that never go anywhere. And you never get hurt. You never feel pain. Maybe you have everything figured out, and I’m the one who doesn’t have a clue.” She released a sarcastic laugh that lacked any type of humor.
“You don’t want to be like me.”
“The grass is always greener on the other side, and your side looks like a green lawn right after a storm.”
“The truth is…I’m pretty lonely.” I’d never said that to anyone before, including myself. I kept up a charade, not for everyone in my life, but for myself. It was the only way I could convince myself that I was okay. “I think that’s why you and I have become such good friends. You keep the loneliness away. You give me everything that I’m lacking.”
Her eyes drifted to my face, and they looked like glossy orbs. “You give me a lot too, Volt. The second I saw him kissing that woman, this is where I wanted to be. I didn’t go to my best friend’s place. I didn’t call my mom. I came here…to be with you.”
“And I’m glad you did.” Even without the opportunity for sex.
She pulled the sheet farther over her shoulder and got comfortable on the pillow. “Do you mind if I sleep here?”
“I wasn’t going to let you go, Tayz.” I pulled her into my chest and ran my hand down her back. She felt nice against my body. I could feel the echo of my beating heart when I pressed against her.
And I could feel hers.
“Volt?”
“Hmm?” My lips ached to kiss her again. It was the most natural thing I wanted to do, to feel our mouths move together.
“Thanks for not sleeping with me.”
When she kissed me the second she walked through the door, I wanted her badly. My entire body zoned in on the prize. But when she told me to fuck her, I knew I didn’t want it anymore. She didn’t want me to kiss her when she felt used, and now I knew exactly how that felt. I didn’t want her to be meaningless—because she could never be meaningless. “Yeah.”
Thank you so much for reading this teaser to my new ELECTRIC series. If you enjoyed the teaser, you can preorder CHARGE now.
Thanks for your continued support. If you keep reading, I’ll keep writing.
-E.L. Todd