A Long Line of Dead Men

by Lawrence Block

Page 27

 

  "You dont think people will be exercising a little restraint?"

  "Ill forgive you for that," she said, "but only because I love you. You probably want to shower, and your clothes are laid out for you on the bed. "

  I showered and shaved and put on the pair of dark slacks shed laid out for me, then walked into the living room holding the shirt. "Whats this?" I asked.

  "Its a guayabera. "

  "I can see that. Where did it come from?"

  "Yucat?n, originally, except I think this particular one was produced in Taiwan. Maybe its Korea. It says on the label. "

  "What I mean is-"

  "I bought it for you. Try it on. Let me see. Hey, it looks great. "

  "What are all these pockets for? And all this piping. "

  "Its the style. Dont you like it?"

  "If youd told me in time," I said, "I could have let my sideburns grow and grown a little mustache. Then, with just the right haircut, I could look like a pimp in a 1940s movie. "

  "I think you look casual yet commanding. Its a present, incidentally, but you dont have to thank me. "

  "Good," I said.

  Marilyns Chamber was located in the basement of a warehouse on Washington Street. Meat packagers occupied the premises on either side, and across the street. There was no sign to lead you to the club. The green door was unmarked, with a low-wattage red light bulb just above it. It was ten oclock when we knocked and were admitted by a young man with dark black skin, a shaved head, a sleeveless black jumpsuit, and a black mask. It was a quarter after one when the same young man opened the door and let us out.

  There was a cab cruising down Washington Street and I stepped to the curb and hailed it. I gave the driver our address and sat back, and when Elaine started to say something I interrupted her to suggest that we ride home in companionable silence.

  "Id rather talk," she said.

  "Id rather you didnt. "

  "Are you afraid Ill embarrass the driver?"

  "No, Im afraid-"

  "Because his name is Manmatha Chatterjee. Hes from India, home of the Kama Sutra. His people invented fancy fucking. "

  "Please. "

  "So hes not going to be embarrassed. "

  "I am. "

  "Besides, if he blushed, whod know?"

  "God damn it…"

  "Im whispering," she said, "and he cant possibly hear me, you silly old bear, you. Ill stop. Ill behave. I promise. "

  She didnt say anything the rest of the way. In our elevator she said, "May I speak now, master? Or do you suppose the elevator is bugged?"

  "I think were safe. "

  "I had a good time. And I wasnt too warm in the leather. "

  "You might have been if you kept the top on. "

  "I suppose. You looked dashing in your guayabera. "

  "Casual yet commanding. "

  "Ill say. Im really glad we went. Ill tell you, its going to be a while before you see anything like that on television. "

  "Let us hope. "

  "What I really loved is how ordinary the people looked. Im not talking about what they were wearing, but the people themselves. You go expecting extras from a Fellini movie and you run into folks who could host a Tupperware party. "

  "Some sexual underground. "

  "But that makes it more exciting," she said, "because its more real. With the body piercing, everybody was so matter-of-fact. And it all seems so weird, doesnt it? Tribal, primitive. "

  "And permanent. "

  "Like tattoos, but more than skin deep. But my ears are pierced, and when you come right down to it, whats the difference between an earlobe and a nipple?"

  "I give up," I said. "Whats the difference?"

  We were in our apartment now. "I dont know," she said, slipping both arms around my waist. "Whats the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?"

  "Anybody can mash potatoes. "

  "I already told you that one, huh?"

  "Many times. "

  "The old jokes are the best jokes. That was fun, wasnt it? Did you have a good time?"

  "Yes. "

  "Did it upset you when I took my top off?"

  "It surprised me," I said. "It didnt upset me. "

  "Well, with all those tits in your face, I didnt want you to forget what mine look like. "

  "No chance of that. Yours were the prettiest. "

  She danced away from me. "Ha," she said. "Youre gonna get laid tonight anyway, kiddo. You dont have to lie. "

  "Who said I was lying?"

  "Lets put it this way- if you were Pinocchio, now would be a good time to sit on your nose. "

  "Ill tell you what else surprised me," I said. "I thought we agreed we werent going to participate. "

  "So who participated? Oh, you mean the girl-girl stuff? I didnt think that counted. "

  "Oh. "

  "I sort of got into the spirit of things, I guess. Did it bother you?"

  "I dont think bother is the right word for it. "

  "Did it upset you?"

  "Im not sure upset is the right word, either. "

  "Got to you, huh?"

  "Got to me. "

  "Well," she said, "thats why we went, isnt it? So it would get to us? You old bear, you. You know what I think Im going to do? I think Im going to tie you up. Youre not going to fall asleep this time, are you?"

  "Probably not," I said. "Not for hours. "

  19

  Paris Green does a nice brunch on Sundays, with tables set up outside under green-and-white umbrellas. We slept late and started the day there. Then Elaine took a cab to the Sixth Avenue weekend flea market to resume the hunt for urban folk art. I had a second cup of coffee and walked back home.

  Jim Shorter had called in our absence, leaving a message on the machine. I rang him back and arranged to meet him in an hour at a meeting at Amsterdam and Ninety-sixth. Then I called another Jim, my sponsor, Jim Faber, to confirm our dinner date and decide which Chinese restaurant to favor with our presence.

  We wound up at Vegetarian Heaven, on Fifty-eighth a few doors west of Eighth. The restaurant is a flight below street level, and the chambered dining room is cavernous, with no end of booths and tables, most of them empty.

  "Im glad we got here," Jim said. "Ive been meaning to try this place but it looks so tacky from the outside. Do they ever do any business? I hope theyre heroin importers and this is just a sideline. "

  "Sometimes they get a crowd at lunch. Elaine loves the place because she can order anything on the menu. Most Chinese restaurants have the same four or five vegetable dishes, and she gets tired of them. "

  "She could come here forever," he said, paging through the menu. "You want to order, since youre familiar with the place?"

  "Sure. What are you in the mood for?"

  "Food," he said. "Good food, and plenty of it. "

  While we ate, I talked about how Id spent the afternoon, and how an unpromising sidetrack in a difficult investigation had turned into an unintended Twelfth Step call.

  "Its not like you," Jim said. "Youve never displayed a whole lot of missionary zeal. "

  "Well, I never figured it was my job to sober up the world," I said. "Early on I wasnt all that sure if I wanted sobriety for my own self, so the last thing I was going to do was try selling it to somebody else. Then, the longer I stayed away from a drink, the more convinced I became that it was none of my goddamn business whether or not other people drank. Maybe the ones who drink are better off drinking. Who am I to say?"

  "Your friend Ballou-"

  "My friend Mick Ballou drinks heavily every day of his life, and if he ever walked into a meeting theres nobody who would dream of telling him he was in the wrong place. And Im sure its affecting him physically and mentally, even if hes not showing it yet. But hes a grown-up, for Christs sake. He can make his own decisions. "

  "But with this fellow uptown-"

  "I guess I identified with him," I said. "I looked at his life, or what I fi
gured his life must be, and saw how I could have followed a similar path. Anyway, I didnt set out to drag him to a meeting. I just found myself talking about it, and he seemed interested, and open to suggestion. "

  "I think its good for you. Youre not sponsoring anybody else, are you?"

  "Im not sponsoring him. "

  "Well, it sounds to me like you are, whether either of you are calling it that or not. I think itll do you good to be working with a newcomer. Just dont be surprised when he drinks. "

  "No. "

  "You cant get anybody sober and you cant keep anybody sober. You know that. "

  "Sure. "

  "And I hope you remember the definition of successful sponsorship. "

  "Thats when the sponsor stays sober. "

  "Youre damn right it is. You know, this stuff fools you. You think youre eating meat but youre not. This here is supposed to be what, eel?"

  "I think they make it out of soy. "

  "Therell come a day," he said, "when they make everything out of soy. Chairs, tables, automobiles, hot turkey sandwiches. Everything. But this is supposed to look and taste like eel, and the thing is if it was the genuine article I wouldnt have anything to do with it, because I dont happen to like eel. I think Im marginally allergic to it. "

  "You should have said something when I was ordering it. "

  "But if its fake eel, whats the difference? Im not allergic to fake eel. As a matter of fact, I like it. "

  "Have some more. "

  "I intend to. Elaine eats like this all the time, huh? I dont mean this stuff, I mean vegetarian. She doesnt even eat fish, does she?"

  "No. "

  "Id miss meat myself. Everything good with you two?"

  "Everythings great. "

  "You still seeing the other one?"

  "Now and then. "

  At first I hadnt told him about Lisa, but not for fear of his disapproval. He knows Elaine, and I didnt want to burden him with something I had to keep secret from her, especially if it was something that would end in a couple of weeks. When it didnt, when it went on and on, I talked about it.

  "The last time I saw her," I said, "I started out wanting a drink. I called her instead. "

  "Well, if those were the two choices, Id say you picked the right one. I dont know that the relationship has much of a future, but I watched a PBS special last night on the greenhouse effect, and you could say the same thing about the human race. Shes not likely to try to break up your marriage, is she?"

  "Im not married. "

  "You know what I mean. "

  I nodded. "Shes just there," I said. "She never calls, and when I call she says to come over. "

  "Sounds like the answer to a prayer," he said. "Do me a favor, will you? Find out if shes got a sister. "

  We sat a long time over dinner and arrived a few minutes late for the Big Book meeting at St. Clares. Afterward I walked Jim home, then kept going to Grogans Open House at Fiftieth and Tenth. Mick Ballou owns the place, although you wont find his name on the license. He has a farm in Sullivan County, a couple of hours from the city, and another mans name is on the deed. He has a couple of apartments around town, too, and drives a Cadillac Brougham, but for the record he doesnt own a thing. When they finally make their RICO case against him, theyll be hard put to find anything to confiscate.