Think Like a Monk

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by Jay Shetty


  Think of the topics we’ve considered in this book. In death, you should be fully cleansed, free of what you think you’re supposed to do, free of comparison and criticism, having faced the root of your fear, free from material desires, living in your dharma, having used your time well, having not given in to the mind’s demands, free from ego, having given more than you have taken, but then having given away all that you’ve taken, free from entitlement, free from false connections and expectations. Imagine how rewarding it will be to look back on a life where you have been a teacher while remaining a student.

  Reflecting on the knowledge that we will die someday compels us to value the time we have and to spend our energy thoughtfully. Life’s too short to live without purpose, to lose our chance to serve, to let our dreams and aspirations die with us. Above all, I ask you to leave people and places better and happier than you found them.

  Working on ourselves is an unending practice. Have patience. A student went to her teacher and said, “I am committed to my dharma. How long will it take me to attain enlightenment?”

  Without missing a beat, the teacher replied, “Ten years.”

  Impatient, the student persisted, “But what if I work very hard? I will practice, ten or more hours every day if I have to. Then how long will it take?”

  This time the teacher took a moment to consider. “Twenty years.”

  The very idea that the student was looking to rush his work was evidence that he had ten extra years to study.

  As I’ve mentioned, the Sanskrit word for monk, brahmacharya, means “student,” but it also means “right use of energy.” It’s not like once you have the monk mindset, you’ve figured everything out. Instead, the monk mindset acknowledges that the right use of energy is to remain a student. You can never cease learning. You don’t cut your hair or mow your lawn once. You have to keep at it. In the same way, sustaining the monk mindset requires self-awareness, discipline, diligence, focus, and constant practice. It is hard work, but the tools are already in your head, heart, and hands.

  You have all you need to think like a monk.

  TRY THIS: TWO DEATH MEDITATIONS

  To imagine your own death gives you a bird’s-eye view of your life. Try a death meditation whenever you are questioning whether or not to do something—to make a significant change, learn a new skill, take a trip. I recommend that you always do a death meditation at the beginning of a new year, to inspire new paths in the upcoming year.

  Visualizing the inevitable will give you every lesson you need to live a fulfilling life. Fast-forward to yourself at age eighty or ninety, however long you want to live, and imagine yourself on your deathbed. Ask your future self questions such as:

  What do I wish I’d done?

  What experiences do I wish I’d had?

  What do I regret not giving more attention?

  What skills do I wish I’d worked on?

  What do I wish I’d detached from?

  Use these answers to motivate yourself—instead of having regrets on your deathbed, put those wishes into action today.

  Imagine how you’d like to be remembered at your own funeral. Don’t focus on what people thought of you, who loved you, and how sad they will be to lose you. Instead think about the impact you’ve had. Then imagine how you would be remembered if you died today. What’s the gap between these two images? This too should galvanize you to build your legacy.

  To find our way through the universe, we must start by genuinely asking questions. You might travel to a new place or go someplace where no one knows you. Disable your autopilot to see yourself and the world around you with new eyes. Spot, Stop, Swap. Train your mind to observe the forces that influence you, detach from illusion and false beliefs, and continually look for what motivates you and what feels meaningful.

  What would a monk do in this moment?

  When you’re making a decision, when you’re having an argument, when you’re planning your weekend, when you’re scared or upset or angry or lost, ask this question. You’ll find the answer 99 percent of the time.

  And eventually, when you’ve uncovered your real self, you won’t even need to ask yourself what a monk would do. You can simply ask, “What will I do?”

  Appendix The Vedic Personality Test

  Answer these questions as who you believe you are at the core. Beyond what friends, family, or society have made you choose.

  Which of the following sounds most like what you’re about? Values and wisdom

  Integrity and perfection

  Work hard play hard

  Stability and balance

  What role do you play in your friends circle / family? I am comfortable dealing with conflict and helping people find middle ground. My role is the mediator.

  I make sure everything and everyone is taken care of. My role is the protector.

  I help my family understand work ethic, hustle, and the value of having resources. My role is material support.

  I focus on nurturing and wanting a healthy and content family. My role is emotional support.

  What is most important to you in a partner? Honest and smart

  Strong presence and power

  Fun and dynamic

  Reliable and respectful

  What do you watch most often on TV? Documentaries, biographies, human observations

  Entertainment, politics, current affairs

  Comedy, sport, drama, motivational stories

  Soap operas, reality TV, family, gossip, daytime shows

  Which best describes how you behave when under stress? Calm, composed, balanced

  Irritated, frustrated, angry

  Moody, loud, restless

  Lazy, depressed, worried

  What causes you the most pain? Feeling like I don’t live up to my own expectations

  The state of the world

  A sense of rejection

  Feeling disconnected from friends and family

  What is your favorite way of working? Alone, but with mentors and guides

  In a team as a leader

  Independently, but with a strong network

  In a team as a member

  How would your ideal self spend spare time? Reading, in deep discussion, and reflecting

  Learning about issues and/or attending political events

  There’s no such thing as spare time! networking, connecting, working

  Enjoying time with family and friends

  How would you describe yourself in three words? Idealistic, introverted, insightful

  Driven, dedicated, determined

  Passionate, motivated, friendly

  Caring, loving, loyal

  In what type of environment do you work best? Remote, silent and still, natural

  A meeting room or gathering space

  Anywhere and everywhere (during my commute, in a coffee shop, in my bedroom)

  A space specific to my type of work: home, office, laboratory

  What’s your work style? Slow and reflective

  Focused and organized

  Fast and rushed

  Specific and deliberate

  How would you like to make a difference in the world? Through spreading knowledge

  Through politics and activism

  Through business and/or leadership

  Through local community

  How do you prepare for a vacation? By picking my reading material

  By having a focused plan of key sites to visit

  With a list of the best bars, clubs, and restaurants

  With an easygoing attitude

  How do you deal with tough conversations? Look for a compromise

  Fight for the most objective truth

  Fight to prove I’m right

  Avoid confrontation

  If someone in your life is having a bad week, what do you do? Give them advice and guidance

  Become protective and encourage them to improve

  Urge them to have a drink or take a walk with me

 
Go to them and keep them company

  How do you see rejection? It’s part of life

  It’s a challenge I can rise to meet

  It’s frustrating but I’ll move on

  It’s a real setback

  At an event/party how do you spend your time? I have a meaningful discussion with one or two people

  I usually talk with a group of people

  I somehow end up the center of attention

  I help with whatever needs to be done

  How do you feel if you make a mistake? I feel guilty and ashamed

  I have to tell everyone

  I want to hide it

  I reach out to someone supportive

  What do you do when you have to make a big decision? I reflect privately

  I ask my mentors and guides

  I weigh the pros and cons

  I talk to family and friends

  Which best describes your daily routine? It changes moment to moment

  It’s very focused and organized

  I follow the best opportunity that comes up

  It’s simple and scheduled

  ANSWER KEY

  Tally your answers now. The most selected letter likely reflects your varna.

  Guide

  Leader

  Creator

  Maker

  Acknowledgments

  I feel truly humbled and grateful to share this timeless and transformative wisdom with you, but I could not have done it alone. The Bhagavad Gita was compiled, preserved, shared, and resurrected by team efforts, and this book was no different. I’d like to thank Dan Schawbel, for introducing me to my amazing agent, James Levine, over three years ago. Jim is truly a wonderful human and deeply believes in every project that he works on. His direction, strategy, and friendship have made this book an extremely joyful journey. Thank you to Trudy Green, for her unlimited kindness, sleepless nights, and eternal dedication to this cause. To Eamon Dolan, for his already monk mind and unrelenting push for perfection. To Jon Karp, for believing in me and being present throughout the process. To Hilary Liftin, for the collaborative conversations and dynamic discussions. To Kelly Madrone, for her undying enthusiasm and can-do attitude. To Rula Zaabri, for making sure I never missed a deadline. To Ben Kalin, for his relentless commitment to checking the facts. Thank you, Christie Young, for bringing these timeless concepts to life through the beautiful illustrations. To the Oxford Center for Hindu Studies and specifically Shaunaka Rishi Das for assisting in verifying our sources and credits. Thank you to Laurie Santos for her kindness in connecting me with research on monks by some of the world’s leading scientists. To the whole team at Simon & Schuster, who left no gaps in bringing my vision to life. To Oliver Malcolm and his team at HarperCollins UK, for their enthusiasm, dedication, and hard work from the start.

  Thank you to Thomas Power, who pushed me to recognize my potential when I didn’t believe in myself. To Ellyn Shook, for believing in my passion and introducing my work to Arianna Huffington. To Danny Shea and Dan Katz, who helped me launch my career at HuffPost. To Karah Preiss, who was the first person I told about the idea for this book, in 2016, and who became my ideation partner and greatest supporter in the US. To Savannah, Hoda, Craig, Al, and Carson, for giving me their collective attention on the Today show. To Ellen, for believing in me and giving me her platform to reach her audience. To Jada Pinkett Smith, Willow Smith, and Adrienne Banfield-Norris, for bringing me to the Red Table.

  I’ve truly had an amazing few years, but everything you’ve seen online has only been possible due to the people that invested in me offline. Thank you to His Holiness Radhanath Swami, for always reminding me of the true meaning of life. To Gauranga Das, who has seen it all and been there for me since Day One. To my mentor Srutidharma Das, who always, no matter what, displays all the qualities in this book to the highest level. To Sutapa Das, who always encouraged me to write when I told him I just wanted to speak. To the guides I long to meet and thank, His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Thich Nhat Hanh. To all who have allowed me to mentor you, in that process you have taught me so much more than I could ever have imagined.

  This book would not have existed without the Vedas, the Bhagavad Gita, and the teachers who tirelessly spread it across the world. Thank you to Srila Prabhupada and Ekanath Easwaran, who have created the most widely distributed Gitas today. To all my teachers in the ashram and across the world, many of whom have no idea how much they’ve given me.

  To my mother, who is the embodiment of selfless service. To my father, who let me become who I wanted to be. To my sister, for always supporting my crazy decisions and loving me no matter what.

  And, of course, to each and every one of you who has read this book. You were already thinking like monks, now you know it.

  Author’s Note

  In this book I have drawn from the wisdom of many religions, cultures, inspirational leaders, and scientists. In every case I have done my very best to attribute quotes and ideas to their original sources, and these efforts are reflected here. In some cases I have come across wonderful quotes or ideas that I have found attributed to multiple different sources, widely attributed with no specified source, or attributed to ancient texts where I could not locate the original verse. In these cases I have, with the help of a researcher, tried to give the reader as much useful information as I could regarding the source of the material.

  About the Author

  JAY SHETTY is a storyteller, podcaster, and former monk. Shetty’s vision is to Make Wisdom Go Viral. In 2017, he was named in Forbes 30 Under 30 for being a game changer in the world of media. He is on a mission to share the timeless wisdom of the world in an accessible, relevant, and practical way. Shetty has created more than four hundred viral videos with over 5 billion views and hosts the #1 Health and Wellness podcast in the world, On Purpose.

  Learn more at JayShetty.me

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  www.SimonandSchuster.com/Authors/Jay-Shetty

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  Notes

  INTRODUCTION

  plant trees under whose shade: Paraphrase of Nelson Henderson from Wes Henderson, Under Whose Shade: A Story of a Pioneer in the Swan River Valley of Manitoba (Ontario, Canada: W. Henderson & Associates, 1986).

  In 2002, a Tibetan monk named Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche: Daniel Goleman and Richard J. Davidson, Altered Traits: Science Reveals How Meditation Changes Your Mind, Brain, and Body (New York: Penguin Random House, 2017); Antoine Lutz, Lawrence L. Greischar, Nancy B. Rawlings, Matthieu Ricard, and Richard J. Davidson, “Long-Term Meditators Self-Induce High-Amplitude Gamma Synchronicity During Mental Practice,” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 101, no. 46 (November 16, 2004): 16369–16373, https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.0407401101.

  scans of the forty-one-year-old monk’s brain showed fewer signs of aging than his peers’: Goleman and Davidson, Altered Traits.

  Researchers who scanned Buddhist monk Matthieu Ricard’s brain: Frankie Taggart, “This Buddhist Monk Is the World’s Happiest Man,” Business Insider, November 5, 2012. https://www.businessinsider.com/how-scientists-figured-out-who-the-worlds-happiest-man-is-2012-11; Daniel Goleman and Richard J. Davidson, Altered Traits: Science Reveals How Meditation Changes Your Mind, Brain, and Body (New York: Penguin Random House, 2017); Antoine Lutz, Lawrence L. Greischar, Nancy B. Rawlings, Matthieu Ricard, and Richard J. Davidson, “Long-Term Meditators Self-Induce High-Amplitude Gamma Synchronicity During Mental Practice,” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 101, no. 46 (
November 16, 2004): 16369–16373, https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.0407401101.

  Twenty-one other monks: Taggart, “This Buddhist Monk” and Lutz et al., “Long-Term Meditators.”

  even during sleep: Fabio Ferrarelli, Richard Smith, Daniela Dentico, Brady A. Riedner, Corinna Zennig, Ruth M. Benca, Antoine Lutz, Richard J. Davidson, and Guilio Tononi, “Experienced Mindfulness Meditators Exhibit Higher Parietal-Occipital EEG Gamma Activity During NREM Sleep,” PLoS One 8, no. 8 (August 28, 2013): e73417, https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0073417.

  Brother David Steindl-Rast, a Benedictine monk: David Steindl-Rast, i am through you so i: Reflections at Age 90 (New York: Paulist Press, 2017), 87.

  “India’s most important gift to the world”: And general background on Vedic times from The Bhagavad Gita, introduction and translation by Eknath Easwaran (Tomales, CA: Nilgiri Press, 2007), 13–18.

  “I owed—my friend and I owed”: Ralph Waldo Emerson, The Bhagavad-Gita: Krishna’s Counsel in Time of War, translation, introduction, and afterword by Barbara Stoler Miller (New York: Bantam Dell, 1986), 147.

  ONE: IDENTITY

  “I am not what I think I am”: Charles Horton Cooley, Human Nature and the Social Order (New York: Charles Scribner’s Sons, 1902), 152.

  six films since 1998: Daniel Day-Lewis filmography, IMDb, accessed November 8, 2019, https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000358/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1.

 

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