by Jerilee Kaye
“Divine?” Adrienne practically scoffed. “Have you even seen how he really looks? Doesn’t he have like a pair of shades on or something all the time?”
“Yeah…so smug!” Yuan giggled. “But still, the whole package. Him with the shades. He is absolutely gorgeous! That black hair that keeps falling over his forehead. I would take that, even if he was cross-eyed!”
“I wonder what his eye color is,” Jill pondered.
“Crystal blue,” Adrienne thought out loud. The moment she realized what she just said, she turned red. She took a gulp of her coffee, hoping to hide the redness of her face.
“What?” Jill stared at her curiously.
“Well…I…ah…think it would be nice if his eyes were blue,” she said.
“Yeah, like a black-haired Ken doll!” Yuan agreed.
Just then, a group of guys sat at the table next to them.
“Don’t look now, but it’s the man of the hour!” Yuan whispered and took a sip of his coffee.
Adrienne and Jill looked at the same time, and, indeed, they saw Justin with two of his friends.
“I just said ‘don’t look!’” Yuan hissed at them crossly.
Justin wore jeans, a black leather jacket and another pair of pitch dark shades over his eyes. She looked away, pretending she didn’t see him.
What is he doing here? How can my life be entangled with his like this?!
“Oh my God!” Jill hissed.
“Come on, guys. Time to change the topic. I’m fed up with this,” Adrienne said.
“Honey…we always talk about hot bachelors, and this guy is our favorite,” Jill whispered. “You didn’t seem to hate the topic before.”
“Well, it’s getting old!” Adrienne hissed back. “There are other cute guys around.”
Her phone rang. She answered it, relieved to be distracted.
“Hi,” Justin said.
She looked at his direction. He didn’t seem like he was looking at her behind those shades of his.
“Um…excuse me?” she asked nonchalantly.
“I just wanna say hi. I didn’t want you to think I was a snob or something.” His lips curved into a crooked smile.
“O-kay. Bye now.”
“Bye.” This time, he smiled widely.
She swore she couldn’t control her blush. Jill and Yuan eyed her curiously.
“Cousin of mine. Reminded me to pick up a book that was nice. Well…where were we?” She asked.
“Still there, still with hotshot, himself,” Jill replied.
“I wonder who he picked up at the bar the other day.” Yuan mused.
Adrienne sat quietly while Yuan and Jill discussed other boys, more often, focused on Justin. She became lost in her own thoughts. But she couldn’t help feeling self-conscious. She didn’t know if Justin was watching her. With those pitch black shades, it was impossible to tell what he was looking at.
After a while, Justin and his friends stood up and left.
She received a text message after a minute.
Justin: See you. I’ll be with these guys. It’s poker night tonight.
She replied: Okay. You didn’t have to tell me that.
Justin: But I did… and by the way, you look stunning in your new hairstyle. I couldn’t take my eyes off you.
She knew she was blushing when she replied: Liar.
Justin: Nope. I’m bad at lying. Do you know you chew on your straw when you pretend to be interested in a conversation with your friends?
Her: What?
Justin: And you bite your lower lip when you’re nervous. You look so cute.
Her: You were watching me!
Justin: Of course. What else would I be looking at?
Damn! This is guy is a pro at making hearts flutter.
She didn’t reply. She wondered how she could take it all back. She met him, been with him, and now, she couldn’t seem to escape him.
She didn’t even know if she really wanted to get away from him. He had a reputation, certainly. But she couldn’t help noticing that he was rather sweet. Maybe he’s right. It’s time to take a different path. For all it’s worth, she can pursue her alter-ego. Explore that different side of herself with him. Have fun behind the back of the old boring Adrienne.
She smiled to herself. As long as she kept her heart intact, he couldn’t damage her, right? It might even do her more good than bad to play this game.
It wouldn’t matter what Troy thought of her. She need not die of insecurity because her parents and boyfriend all thought she could never measure up to Kimberly.
She could have fun on her own. This time, she would find her real self. She would unleash her spirit and discover if Jill and Yuan were right. Maybe she could become a much more beautiful creature by being who she really was.
5. Amizade
Portuguese, meaning: Friendship
She donned a white skirt that went all the way down to her knees, pairing it with a white turtleneck sleeveless blouse that hugged her body to perfection. The dress partly revealed her perfectly flat tummy. She tied her hair in a bun and put on very light make-up. She finished the look with a pair of white gold hoop earrings and white, high-heeled strappy sandals.
She felt quite satisfied with herself when Justin rang her doorbell. He stared at her for about ten seconds. He didn’t say anything.
“Too much? Too little?” she asked uncertainly.
He chuckled. “For a woman perfectly confident of her IQ, you aren’t quite as confident that you can make heads turn even if you were in your pajamas.
She blushed. “Then I trust that I look okay.”
He nodded and then pulled her close to him. “More than okay. You’re a fox!” He leaned down to kiss her on the lips.
“That’s against the rules, chief.” Adrienne said after the kiss. “The kiss has to be towards the end of the date.”
He laughed. “It’s not every day you get to date a goddess.”
That was overly flattering. But Adrienne managed a shy smile. “It’s not every day you get to date a god, either.”
He took her to a French restaurant. They were taken to a VIP area. It was perfect. No one except for the waiters would see them there.
“Do you find the place suitable?” he asked her.
She nodded. “Yes. I don’t know what I will do if Jill’s date decided to take her here as well.”
“So you still haven’t told your best friends that you know me.”
She shook her head. “No. I don’t even know what I’m doing.”
“You’re having a dinner date with me,” he said coolly.
“Yes. And I don’t know why.”
He took her hand in his. “If I were not me…would you tell them about this?”
It was a difficult question and she didn’t know how to answer without hurting his feelings.
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I cheated on my boyfriend. Five times for three consecutive nights, to be exact. I’m not sure I should tell anyone about that. And I didn’t tell my friends the first time it happened. That’s enough to piss them off. Especially because it’s with you.”
“I’m just a guy, Adrienne,” he told her softly. “I hope you can see me as me, and not as Justin Adams.”
“Why? Justin Adams has a secret identity as well?”
He sighed. “Justin Adams is a name. A name I sometimes don’t like carrying at all. The person behind the name doesn’t necessarily resemble what you hear about him…at least I hope he doesn’t.”
“We’ll see about that, won’t we?” Adrienne managed to wink.
He nodded. “Yeah…we’ll see.”
They enjoyed a perfectly fun and relaxing date. When he walked her to her door afterwards, he kissed her softly. Then he looked deeply into her eyes. And then he kissed her again… passionately, this time.
He sighed. “You better go in before I lose my control.”
She smiled. “Good night. Thank you for dinner.”
He nodded. Sh
e closed the door behind her and leaned against it. She was smiling from ear to ear. It was a perfect date and he was a perfect gentleman. They may have started out on a one-night stand, but he seemed to want to prove that he’s not just after sex. Maybe he tried to prove himself to her… that he’s not all what his reputation says. That Justin Adams is just a name. And the man inside wanted to call himself just human.
And yes…he wasn’t notorious like what his reputation claimed. He was actually gentle and sensitive. And he’s surprisingly sweet.
She didn’t think that he was screwing someone else other than her at the moment. He hadn’t asked her to go on a threesome with him and another girl, or another guy. She might expect those sorts from notorious rakes. But Justin didn’t seem capable of doing those things. If she didn’t know his reputation, she might even believe that he was wooing her. At least that’s what it felt like he was doing…for now.
She took a shower and got dressed in a pair of lavender pajamas and a white spaghetti strap blouse.
Her phone rang. It was Troy.
“Hey. Surprised you still remember me,” she told him sarcastically.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart—I was stupid,” he said. “I know it’s hard to cope with the pressure you receive from your mother. I shouldn’t do the same thing to you.” Troy took a deep breath. “I’ll make it up to you when I visit, okay?”
“Okay.” She couldn’t manage more than that. She tried so hard to feel excited at the thought of Troy visiting her. She waited for that nerve to tick, for the thrill to flow…but there was just…nothing.
“So, what were you up to this week?” he asked.
The first and only thing that came to her mind was Justin Adams. She waited for the guilt to start gnawing her. But it almost shocked her that it didn’t.
“Well, I went to Gypsys. It’s a bar. There was an opening. I had to write about it.”
“Who did you go with?” he asked.
“Just myself.”
“Did you drink?”
“Of course I drank! Soda!” she lied.
He was silent for a while. “Adrienne, isn’t that… dangerous? I thought you only reviewed restaurants and small shops. And now? A club? Next thing I know you’d be telling me you went a strip club.”
Adrienne bit her lip to keep from shouting at him.
“Adrienne, aren’t you thinking of making a career change? I’m sure you’re good at what you do. But… going to bars and fashion shows, honey…that’s not a career! I mean…you could try at least try a newspaper. Are you even sure you’re safe in your job?”
She took a deep breath. Didn’t he just say sorry for pressuring her like her mother?
“I hate to agree, but sometimes, your mother is right. Look at your sister. She’s in med school. I know you’re smart. But why accept a lower level of career? You could at least be a manager of some company. But writing about bars?”
“I told you before. Kim is into medicine. I’m just… not. She got that from our parents. I have a knack for writing. No one in my family knows how to write. But this is what I’m good at.”
“I know. I just hope we can have a more intellectual conversation sometimes. I talked to Kim last week. She gave me a lot of pointers for my internship. She’s so good. It’s not that I’m comparing you to her like your parents were. I just want you…to harness your potential. Kim will become head surgeon of some hospital someday, and you will be at home writing a novel you may never publish. You’re still young. It’s never too late, sweetheart.”
Adrienne realized that Troy sounds like a lovesick twelve-year old when he talks about Kim. This infuriated her, actually. Of course. There was a time in her life that she convinced herself that she was in love with him.
“I have a deadline to meet, Troy. Let’s talk about this some other time.” She hung up.
Now she was really mad. She wanted to hit something and break it. Even her boyfriend compared her negatively to Kim! Can’t anybody see that she did extremely well on her own? And even if she hadn’t gotten there yet, must Kim always have to be the measuring stick of all her achievements?
She wiped the tears away from her eyes. She took her keys and went out of her apartment. She wasn’t sure what she was doing. But soon, she was ringing the doorbell of the apartment across her.
Justin answered after two rings. He wore just a pair of pajama bottoms. One look at her softened his expression.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked.
She shook her head. He pulled her to him and gave her a hug. She cried silently on his shoulders.
He caressed her head, showering light kisses on her temple. She pulled away and stared up at him. He wiped the tears on her cheeks.
“Wanna talk about it?” he asked.
She shook her head.
He stared at her for a moment and then he nodded. He pulled her inside and closed the door behind them.
“Did I disturb you?” she asked.
“No, not at all,” he replied. “I was…just about to…well, call you.”
This surprised her.
“Why?”
He shrugged. “I have nothing to do. I wanted to see if you’re up for a chat. But your line was busy, so I figured I’d try again after a few minutes. And here you are.”
He took her hand in his and led her to his bedroom.
He pulled the covers away and lay on it. He pulled her by the hand to motion her to lie beside him. Then he put his arms around her and she nestled her head on his shoulder.
“Parents?” he asked quietly.
She shook her head.
“Boyfriend?” he asked again.
She shrugged. “All of them. It’s like my life is made up of one significant thing—my sister’s shadow. I’m happy for her. But can anyone just be happy for me or at least accept me?”
He caressed her head. “No one likes what they don’t understand,” he stated. “They don’t know you that well. Just stop living your life the way other people want you to live it. Live it for yourself.”
“Like you?” she asked.
“Yeah. Maybe. My parents wanted me to be someone else as well. And I know I can’t escape that path. So I’m trying to learn as much from life now. So that I’ll be more ready when I finally face my destiny.”
“You were doing well by yourself,” she said.
“Yes. But I can’t live in photos and stocks all my life. And who’s going to take over the family business? My cousins from the mother side? It wouldn’t be right. My father’s father started the empire. It has to be his blood to continue growing it.”
“So, when do you intend to start learning the ropes that you should have learned years ago?”
He shrugged. “After this year. I’ve done well for myself. At least people can’t say I became rich because I had a rich dad. That’s just the stereotype I wanted to escape.”
“At least your future is brighter than mine,” she grunted.
“What do you really want to do with your life?” he asked.
“I love what I do now,” she answered. “I love writing. It’s my passion. It’s not just a hobby. But I also want to invest in something. I want to earn money somewhere else.”
“Like what?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. Stocks maybe. But I have no idea what to do. So I couldn’t possibly play.”
“You’re serious?” he asked.
She shrugged again.
“I can show you. I can teach you how to play. You don’t have to invest that much. You can start with a thousand bucks. See where it gets you. If you feel that it’s for you…we’ll increase the investment. I’ll guide you all the way.”
“Really? A grand?” She stared up at him.
He nodded.
The idea actually excited her. She felt like this could work. She can write and invest at the same time.
“Okay. What do I have to do first?”
“Look up Wall Street numbers and find a company you like.” Justin rep
lied. “Read about how they’re doing in the past year and in the previous months. That’s how you decide first which company to play for.”
She smiled. “I could do that.”
He nodded. “Yes. Don’t worry. I’ll teach you how to call the shots. If I screw up on my advice and you lose money, I’ll cover your losses.”
“Why would you do that?”
“Because it will teach me how to be a better teacher.”
She laughed. “It’s a deal then.”
They were silent for a while. Then she said, “Thank you, Justin. And I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have bothered you. But…” She sighed. “You live closer to me than Jill and Yuan.”
He chuckled. “See? You can even joke under distress. That’s the Adrienne that should always be out in the open. I think it’s the real Adrienne all along. Don’t try to be somebody that other people wanted you to be. The real Adrienne is wonderful and beautiful just as she is.”
“That’s the Adrienne you met at Gypsys,” she admitted.
“That Adrienne has a long, happy and colorful life to live,” he responded.
They lay silently for a while. Then he tilted her chin up and kissed her. After the kiss, he pulled up the covers to her chin and turned off the lights.
“Good night, Adrienne,” he calmly spoke.
“Good night, Justin,” she whispered.
He’s really going to sleep now?
Part of her felt happy that he didn’t suggest they make love then. That he seemed content to just sleep with her in his arms. But a part of her was disappointed, because deep inside she knew she craved him with every fiber of her feminine being.
She looked up at his face in the dark, illuminated by the light coming from the window.
God, he really is handsome!
And she’s there in his arms! Without the need to say that she’ll spend the night, knowing that she just had a bad moment, and she needed company, he held her, comforted her.
She reached up and traced his chin with her fingers. She traced his jawline gently. She was surprised when suddenly he shifted and pinned her between the bed and his body.