by Jerilee Kaye
“Mean what?” she asked.
“You dressed up for me. Not for him,” He smiled sheepishly.
She giggled. “I mean it. I was supposed to go out with you, remember? If I were meeting him, I would have worn a pair of trousers, long-sleeved, ruffled blouse, and a pair of eyeglasses.”
He kissed her again before she went out of his apartment. She took some time, took deep breaths and then opened her front door.
Troy and Kim still sat on the sofa.
My God! They were like the king and queen of good conduct and behavior!
She found them right where she left them.
She remembered that many times in her life she actually felt intimidated by Kim because of Troy. Because she thought that the only way that she could keep Troy is to be like Kim.
But now she couldn’t say for sure why she wasted three years of her life, trying to be something and someone she wasn’t. When she could have been herself all along. Free-spirited. Fun. And according to Justin, foxy!
“Want to go have dinner instead, guys?” she asked them.
“What happened to the work you need to do?” Troy asked.
“My boss couldn’t get me the passes. I called her up and told her that I could do that tomorrow.”
Kim just smiled.
“But you have to change your outfit, sweetheart,” Troy said. “You can’t go out in that!”
She looked down at herself and raised a brow at him.
“Oh jeez, Troy! Grow up!” Kim said. “It doesn’t show much flesh! Come on, I’m starving.”
Troy didn’t argue. Like he regarded Kimberly as his teacher. Ma’am, yes, ma’am.
They all went to Casa Mexicana.
Troy and Kimberly talked about their convention and their escapades at med school. It seemed that they have been members of the same clubs and they belonged to the same crowd. Adrienne sat there wondering how many hours a day Kim and Troy spent with each other.
That thought should have eaten her alive, left her reeling with jealousy. But since Justin came into her life, she felt happy about herself. And she no longer felt that tinge of insecurity. That awful feeling inside her that she couldn’t keep Troy because she wasn’t good enough had totally disappeared.
When their orders came and when their drinks got refilled, Adrienne noticed that the waiter kept looking at her. She felt self-conscious. Like she felt there was something wrong with her face.
“Excuse me. What’s your problem?” Troy asked the waiter. He also noticed the number of times he stared at Adrienne.
“Troy, please,” Adrienne pleaded. She didn’t want to cause a scene.
“I’m sorry,” the waiter said.
“No. Tell me. Why were you staring at my girl?” Troy asked…a little too aggressively this time.
The waiter looked apologetic. “Sorry, sir. I just thought you’re a lucky guy. Your girlfriend is very beautiful.”
Trying to avoid a scene, Adrienne smiled at the waiter. “Thanks, sweetie. Now, could you get me my margarita?”
He nodded. “I’m sorry. Right away, madam.”
Adrienne turned to Kim and Troy. “So, back to the pep squads you do at med school.”
Luckily, Troy decided to let it go. Kimberly engaged them again in a topic about a vulvar cancer and Adrienne just plainly lost her appetite. She fiddled with her fork and wondered when she would get Troy alone to finally break up with him.
It has to be tonight! So tomorrow...
She smiled. Tomorrow, she can tell Justin that they no longer needed to hide. He might need him to come with her when she tells Jill and Yuan about them. She couldn’t forget the last time when they laughed in her face when she attempted to come clean about Justin.
Her phone beeped and she was thankful.
Justin: How are you holding up?
Her: I’m still surviving. But God! I miss you!
Justin: I’m at the Oxygen, with Mike and James. We’re waiting for my cousin, Gian’s twin, Ian. Vacation from college.
Her: At least your night sounds more fun.
Justin: I’m not with you, where is the fun in that?
She smiled and she was certain she started blushing.
“Everything okay, sweetheart?” Troy asked her.
She nodded. “It’s just Jill. Another one of her escapades.”
Troy raised a brow. She thought he didn’t believe her. She just smiled at him nonchalantly.
She figured, tonight when they drop her off at her building, she would talk to Troy alone. It will be quick and easy.
But when they got out of the restaurant, Troy said he would get a cab for them and he would go back to their hotel alone. Adrienne looked at them in confusion.
“I’m staying with you tonight, Adrienne.” Kimberly stated suddenly.
“What?”
Kimberly shrugged. “Dad suggested I spend the night with you. I figured, why not?”
Shit!
“Yes, Adrienne. It would make your parents really happy to see both of you together. You haven’t seen each other in a while, right? And Kimberly could use some girl talk for a change.” Troy grinned and Kimberly giggled. Adrienne, on the other hand, found none of it to be amusing.
But her parents…yes, her parents would be happy to know that she and Kim had some sister bonding time. They never do that. It would warm her parents to know that she’s trying to spend time with her sister.
“Okay,” she said to them.
“Yay!” Kim reached out and hugged Adrienne. Adrienne actually smiled and hugged her back. “You’re the best sister!” Kim said sweetly. Adrienne wanted to cry because it was probably the first time she felt Kim show some affection for her. Maybe not seeing each other often made her realize she wasn’t a bad sister after all.
Then Adrienne turned to Troy. “Can we talk?” she asked.
“I’m tired, Yen.”
“I won’t take much time,” she insisted.
“I’m picking up Kim early tomorrow. We start at eight and you know I hate to be late for anything. I’ll see you when we get back. Kim and I have two days off. We can talk for forty-eight hours if you want, sweetheart.”
“But Troy, there’s something I really need to tell you.”
“It can wait, Yen.”
He hailed a cab, not giving her a chance to argue.
“No, Troy, it can’t. We really need to talk.”
Kim got into the cab.
“Come on, Adrienne. The cabby’s waiting. Hurry up!” Kim said impatiently.
“Go. We’ll talk later,” Troy said. Then without warning, he bent down and kissed her lips.
Her first thought was: Bad kisser!
Her second thought was: Shit! I’m never cheating on Justin!
God, what is wrong with me?
She doesn’t feel guilty about sleeping with Justin behind Troy’s back, but she feels terrible about being kissed by Troy behind Justin’s back. Troy is the official boyfriend. Justin was…well, he is Justin… and she’s in love with him.
She didn’t kiss Troy back. She gently pushed him away and willed herself not to vomit in front of him and Kim.
“Good night, Troy,” she said and went inside the cab.
They rode the cab in silence. Kim was looking out the window, enjoying the scenery before her. And Adrienne really didn’t know what to say to her.
As soon as they entered her apartment, Kim turned to her, “So which room do I stay in?”
Adrienne showed her the guestroom.
“All right…good night,” Kim said.
“Wait! Didn’t you say, we should… bond?”
Kim actually laughed. “Come on, Yenny! We don’t have to pretend we actually get along when we’re alone,” she said. “Let’s just tell Mom and Dad that we spent almost the whole night catching up, then I had an early start the next day. Get the program?”
Then she closed the door behind her.
Adrienne stared at the door for a long while. Then she thought to her
self, Nah! We weren’t really close anyway!
She took a shower and brushed her teeth about three times to make sure there was no more trace of Troy in her. The thought of kissing somebody else besides Justin made her want to puke.
When she left her room to get a glass of water, she found Kimberly on her living room watching Medical Detectives.
“I thought you were sleeping.”
“And I thought I didn’t have to talk to you for the rest of the night,” Kim said flatly.
Adrienne gripped her glass tightly. She prevented herself from throwing it at Kim’s beautiful face.
“You’re actually in my apartment, Kimmy,” she said coldly.
Instead of feeling ashamed, Kim just smiled sweetly at her. “And I’m helping you score points with Mom. You’re welcome!” Kim turned back to the TV.
Adrienne closed her eyes. In her head, she took a firm hold of Kim’s hair, pulled it so hard and then slammed her face on the coffee table.
When she opened her eyes, Kim was still there. Still in one piece.
Adrienne walked to her bedroom without another word.
“You should change your television set!” Kim called to her. “It’s not good for your eyes to watch on such a small screen.”
Adrienne smiled at her acidly and then slammed the door behind her.
She looked through her window and found that Justin wasn’t home yet.
She sent him a message: Kim is at my place! Really trying my best not to murder her!
Justin: If you can wait up, I would do it for you. :) Seriously, what did she do this time?
She replied: Just being herself. Apparently, her staying over was gaining me points with our mother. So she thought she’s actually doing me a favor!
Justin: I’m coming home with my cousin. Want to come to my place? I could introduce you to each other.
Her: I would love to! But the thing is, Kim seems to be camping in my living room, watching TV, which she said by the way was too small for her taste! Anyway, I can’t go out. Kim can smell things from within a mile away! It’s safer if I stay here. You know…until…
She trailed off purposefully, hoping Justin would get what she meant.
Justin: Okay. Sweet dreams. I’ll miss you tonight. It’s been a while since I slept alone. ;-) And by the way, I have a surprise for you. See you tomorrow, hon.
When she woke up the next day, Troy was already in her apartment. He and Kimberly drank coffee in the living room.
“We have an early start,” Troy said, smiling at her. “We were about to leave. Guess you two stayed up late with your girl chit-chats, huh.”
Kimberly winked and smiled at her sweetly. “I wish we could have stayed up longer. But we have this early morning thing.”
Liar!!!
Why was she lying? Am I the only one privileged to see what a real bitch she was?
“After the conference, my parents have invited both of you to join us to a weekend at a resort here. Your parents may come too,” Troy said.
“Oh my God! That’s so lovely!” Kim shrieked but Adrienne knew she was being overenthusiastic.
Troy went to Adrienne. “We need to talk, sweetheart.” He gave her a bright smile. And then he leaned down and kissed her. At least he attempted to. Adrienne averted her face so that Troy’s lips just landed on her cheekbone.
“I guess I’ll see you,” she murmured. “Text me when and where we’re going.”
When they left, she hoped that Troy got her subtle messages. He didn’t give her a chance to break up with him. For all it’s worth, she wanted to make this as clean as possible. If they can end up being friends, it would be better. That could help her mother forgive her.
She took a shower. Then she put on a pair of jeans and mini tee. She dried her hair, took her keys and rang Justin’s doorbell. She needed to clear her head. She needed to plan how to breakup with Troy and she needed to execute that plan well.
She rang the bell twice.
No answer. She tried again.
Finally, the door opened. She had prepared herself to fly into in his arms. She missed him so much. Last night was the first night she spent without him in many weeks. And she was happy when he said he would miss her too.
But what she saw made her stop. Wet blonde hair. Perfect skin. Blue eyes. Barbie doll in the flesh. And she’s wearing one of Justin’s robes.
“Excuse me, can I help you?” she asked.
God, even her voice was a perfect pitch!
Adrienne bit her lip. She didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t find her voice. She looked like she wore nothing but Justin’s robe and she still managed to stun Adrienne with her beauty. And she’s not even a man!
“Who is that?” She heard Justin say from inside the room. When the girl didn’t answer, he went towards the door. He was topless, with only a towel wrapped around his waist. He looked like he just gotten out of a shower.
No! It looked like ‘they’ had just gotten out of the shower.
Adrienne took a deep breath and summoned all the strength she had left in her body just so she could raise her chin and say something.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were busy,” she snapped. Then she quickly spun around.
“Honey, wait!” Justin shouted and ran after her. But Adrienne was quick enough to slam the door in his face, refusing to give him a chance to either spin lies for her to believe, or break it to her gently that they never had a commitment in the first place, they weren’t exclusive, so he’s free to screw somebody else.
She had a boyfriend. He had waited for her to break it up with him. Maybe his patience finally ran out and he went after what he deserved: A girl as perfect as the one standing in his living room.
14. Remorsus
Medieval Latin. Gave birth to the word Remorse.
“Adrienne, this isn’t what you think. Could you open the door and talk to me?” Justin said on the other side of the door.
She didn’t answer. She turned on her stereo so loud so she couldn’t hear his voice. She knew that she should find the strength. It was the first night she spent without him in more than a month. The first night that she was not with him. And he did what he normally does.
She felt like she cheated on him when Troy kissed her! That same night, Justin had shagged somebody else in his room. In the bed where she had slept in on many nights.
She went to her room, locked her windows and closed the blinds. She threw herself in her bed and cried. She felt pain in her chest…hard, pinching pain. Her stomach began to tie itself in knots. She let the tears fall freely as she hugged her pillow.
What did she expect? Guys like Justin Adams did not want to commit…were never known to commit. Did she really expect playboys like him to be loyal and faithful to only one girl? Of course not! She got her hopes too high without realizing it.
She loved him…so much! And it did hurt. Yes, she had made him the guy on the sidelines, but he was also the guy she loved. And he knew she had a boyfriend from the start.
How could he bring a girl home the way he brought her home? And God, she was perfect! She was a hundred times prettier than Kimberly! How could she compete with that? And maybe, Justin couldn’t resist, either.
He kept calling her. He left messages on her answering machine. He sent her text messages. She didn’t listen or read a single message. She didn’t need his excuses. The evidence had stood in his apartment. Nothing could be as clear as that.
Sure, a stranger couldn’t just come to his place and use his bathroom, right? And use his robe? And he certainly wouldn’t walk around in a towel around the house if there was a complete stranger with you…unless you two have just spent the night banging each other’s brains out.
That thought twisted a knot inside her chest and she thought that her heart broke some more.
The thing that they had…it was good for both of them… for a while. From the start, it never spelled ever after. There were some things that you just take for the moment un
til they end. After that…it was over. You just have to thank your stars that it ever happened. Remember the good things that it taught you. Because some things don’t give you bad memories at all until they are over.
She fell asleep. When she woke up, it was already six in the evening. Her house remained quiet. She erased the fifty voice messages in her answering machine without listening to them. She erased all the text messages that she received from Justin without reading them.
Then she packed a bagful of clothes and snuck out of her apartment, hoping she wouldn’t run into Justin in the hallway, elevator or in the lobby.
She hailed a cab and went to Yuan’s house.
When he opened the door, he was shocked to see her expression. “What the fuck is wrong with you, girl?”
She shook her head. “Can I crash over here for a week or so? I don’t want to be alone in my apartment.”
“What happened?”
She shook her head.
“Nothing. I just need time to clear my head and think. I’m seeing Kim and Troy this weekend. I have been planning to break up with Troy for a long time.”
Well, that wasn’t exactly a lie.
Yuan didn’t ask any more. He just nodded.
She was trying her best not to cry. If she looked so overdramatic he would grill her for the details.
Jill came over and slept over that night, as well. Her phone kept ringing. Justin was tireless in his pursuit but she wanted to think straight. And she couldn’t get the image of that girl out of her head.
“Are you gonna get that?” Yuan asked her. “Must be Troy.”
She shrugged and then turned her phone off.
“By the way, I have a scoop,” Jill said suddenly, trying to get Adrienne’s mind off her problem.
Adrienne looked at her, thankful for the distraction.
“Justin has a new car,” Jill said. “We saw him driving it from the office today. He was heading out of the building and he rode a sleek brand-new yellow Porsche.”
“He’s rich,” Yuan remarked. “That’s not much of a news. He can change cars every single day if he wants.”
“I know that,” Jill agreed. “But I’m not really sure if it’s his. If it is, then something is going on.”
“Why?”