“You’re not complaining, Quinn.”
“I am, and it annoys me when people complain, so I’m sorry.”
I set my jaw, looking at the clock. Technically, I’m done with my scheduled surgeries for the day. It’ll be asking for a miracle, but for Quinn, I’ll make it happen.
I stand outside Quinn’s door, bag in my hand, and pull out my phone. I’m lucky I didn’t get pulled over for speeding on the way here, and it had to be divine intervention for the lack of traffic.
Quinn’s phone rings once. Twice. Three times. I don’t think she’s going to answer. That’s okay. I’ll wait. I waited to get into the building, sneaking in behind someone like a creep. But I wanted to surprise Quinn.
“Hello?” she answers, sounding like she just woke up.
“Hey, are you home?”
“Yeah,” she says, and she sounds sicker than before. “I’m trying to muster up the energy to go out and get medicine. I feel worse now.”
“You don’t have to go out. Just open your door.”
“What are you talking about?”
I knock on the door and wait. A few seconds later, Quinn opens the door, phone still pressed to her ear. She looks at me in shock. And then she starts crying.
“Quinn,” I say, putting the bag and my phone down. I step in, taking her in my arms. “Sorry. I thought surprising you was a good idea.”
“It is. It’s a really good idea,” she sniffles, then turns her head to cough. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”
Chuckling, I wrap Quinn in a tighter hug and kiss the top of her head. The moment I felt her against me, everything clicked into place. This is where I’m supposed to be.
With Quinn.
Pregnant or not, she’s the only one for me. I’ve known it for years. Fought it as hard as I could. There was never any point because everything always went back to her.
We move inside, and I get out the medicine I brought for Quinn. “This is all safe for pregnancy,” I tell her. “I don’t know how much it’ll help, but it’s better than nothing.”
Quinn sits on the couch, pulling a blanket around her shoulders. She looks sick, with bags under her eyes and pale skin.
“I can’t believe you came. How did you get off work?”
“I was able to switch on-call days with another surgical resident. I’m working Sunday instead.”
“You gave up your weekend for me?”
“I’d give up a lot more than that for you, Quinn.” I go to her, wrap her in my arms again, and lay down on the couch. Quinn coughs, turning her head away from me, and then lays down. I rub her back and cover her back up with the blanket.
“This is nice,” she mumbles, eyes closed.
“It is.” This is how it should be. Every day. “Are you tired?”
“Yeah. I tried to take a nap but didn’t sleep very long. It’s hard to sleep when I’m all stuffy like this.”
“Take a hot shower to break up some of the congestion. I’ll set up the humidifier in your room and will rub your back until you fall asleep.”
Quinn looks at me, eyes full of emotion. She’s glad I’m here, but she’s also confused. I know it’s my fault. I promise myself right then and there that I’m going to fix it. I sit up with her in my arms, and stand, helping her to her feet. Quinn grabs a tissue and blows her nose.
“Sorry. It’s gross, I know.”
“I spent an hour in surgery this morning draining abscesses and it was oddly satisfying,” I tell her. “So blowing your nose doesn’t gross me out in the least.”
“Good.” She gives me a small smile. “Thank you, Archer.” She grabs another tissue and goes into the bathroom.
The cats follow me around when I go into the kitchen. There are a few dirty dishes in the sink, so I rinse them and put them in the dishwasher. I fill a glass with water and take it along with the medicine into Quinn’s room, setting it on the nightstand. I bring a chair in from the dining table and put the humidifier on it next to Quinn’s bed.
I sit on the edge of the bed, petting Neville until Quinn comes out of the shower. Her hair is twisted in a messy bun on the top of her head, and she's wearing a loose-fitting t-shirt that barely covers her ass. She’s not wearing pants, and her pink and black panties show when she walks.
I swallow hard, looking her over. She’s so fucking gorgeous, even when she’s sick. She comes to the bed, sitting heavily, and lays back.
“Is this okay?” she asks, reaching for the blanket.
“What do you mean?” I pull the blankets over both of us.
“Wearing this. I mean…you’ve seen me naked before. I’ve seen you naked. But we’re not…we’re not dating,” she says, almost wincing at the words. “And I wasn’t sure if I should put on pants or not. I either just wear underwear or shorts to bed.”
“Oh, right. I, uh, don’t know. I’m fine with it as long as you’re comfortable.”
She rolls over, facing the humidifier. “I’m comfortable. Around you, I mean.”
I lay down next to her, spooning my body next to hers, and put my hand over her abdomen. Quinn’s hand lands on top of mine, and she lets out a deep breath.
“Archer?” she says softly.
“Yeah?”
“I’m glad you’re here.”
I kiss the back of her neck. “Me too.”
Waking up with Quinn in my arms is the best feeling in the world. The sun is setting, and we’ve both been asleep for hours. Quinn is still asleep, snoring slightly through her stuffy nose. I brush loose strands of her hair back from her face and kiss her softly.
Slowly, I get up and use the bathroom, then climb back into bed with Quinn. In her sleep, she rolls over and wraps her arm around me. I hold her close, never wanting to let go.
Then she starts coughing, waking herself up. Groaning, she sits up and reaches for the glass of water, but hesitates. I smile, remembering her saying she won’t drink out of a glass that’s been sitting unattended.
“I’ll get you a fresh glass,” I offer and get out of bed. I go into the kitchen, Neville winding around my feet the whole way, and get a clean glass from the cabinet.
“Thanks,” Quinn says when I get back, taking the water from me.
“How are you feeling?”
“I think a little better. I don’t have a headache anymore.”
“That’s good. Are you hungry?”
“Kind of. I don’t really have an appetite. Though I do want Sour Patch Kids.” She sets the glass down and lays back in my arms. I kiss her neck and pull her onto my chest.
“I like this,” she says softly, blushing as if I’m going to think it’s stupid.
“I do too, Quinn.” Taking a breath, I look into her eyes. “I like being with you, and I’m not saying that because you’re pregnant,” I add. “I should have called you. You have no idea how much I regret not calling you.”
Her brows pinch together, and she nods and splays her fingers over my chest. “I wished you called. I got mad at you when you didn’t.”
“I noticed,” I say with a smile, thinking back to seeing her walk into her parents’ house over the past weekend.
“And I feel like I should still be mad at you, but there’s so much else going on I don’t have the energy to.”
“I guess that’s good for me? If you want to be mad, I can’t blame you. But if you want to give this a shot—give us a shot—it’d make me really happy.”
She sits up, looking into my eyes. “You mean like be a couple?”
“Yes.”
Quinn bites her lip, considering my words. “Are you sure you want to date me?”
“Hmmm…let me think about it. Okay, thought about it. Yes.”
Quinn smiles. “I feel like you’re only getting half of me though and it won’t be a fair representation of who I really am.”
“What are you talking about?” I run my hand up the back of her thigh.
“I can be really annoying when I’m drunk. And I can’t drink.”
; My fingers edge along the hem of her panties. “I don’t think that will be a determining factor. At all. You don’t drink very often, right?”
“No.”
“See? Not a problem at all.”
She smiles. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to be with me because I’m pregnant.”
“I don’t at all. I know I left and didn’t call and that doesn’t help my case, but I promise you, Quinn, I wouldn’t have slept with you the first time if I didn’t like you.” I swallow hard, heart beating fast. “I kind of panicked after.”
“Really?” Quinn lifts her head up, looking at me incredulously.
“Really. Dean’s been my best friend for over a decade. Your family is like my family, and I knew the mess it would make if they found out about us.”
Quinn lets out a strangled snort of laughter. “Oh, it’s going to be very messy. Dean’s not going to be happy to hear that we’re dating, let alone that you knocked me up.”
“I know.” I slide my hand over her ass and close my eyes. “But it’s worth it, Quinn. You’re worth it. I mean, we have a lot at stake now.”
“Yeah, we do.”
“I want to raise this child together.” Because I love you.
“Me too.” She rests her head back on my chest. “You said you work next weekend, right?”
“Yeah, why?”
“We need to tell my family.”
The thought makes my stomach knot up. “Yeah. We do.”
“Maybe we can take it in stages. Tell them we’re dating first, then drop the baby-bomb.”
“Good idea.” I squeeze Quinn’s ass again. She’s finally my girlfriend, and though it didn’t happen the way I thought, I have a good feeling about us. “I work Saturday and Sunday, but I’m off Thursday evening and all of Friday.”
“I can leave early Thursday and take Friday off.”
“So, dinner at your parents’ Thursday night?”
Quinn lifts her head, looking into my eyes. “Yeah. We’ll tell everyone in a week.”
23
Quinn
I wake up in Archer’s arms, and for the first time since I found out I’m pregnant, everything feels like it’s going to be okay. He made me dinner last night, and went out and got me more Sour Patch Kids before we went to sleep.
I carefully roll over, moving closer to him. It feels so good to have him next to me. Physically, his presence is comforting on its own. But having him here for everything else is almost enough to do me in.
We jumped into a relationship and need to take things slow. He said he likes me but held off moving forward out of respect to Dean, but things are bigger than their friendship now. We have less than a week before we drop the bomb on my family, and I’m fairly sure all four of my brothers are going to have a few choice words for Archer.
Early morning sun filters through the large windows. I forgot to close the blinds last night, and the light is shining right in on Archer. I reach over and take my phone from the nightstand. My blinds are powered, and I can open and close them with an app on my phone.
The room darkens, and I lay back down next to Archer. Two of the cats are in bed with us, and it might be silly to take it as a sign, but I do: the cats like Archer. I’m completely aware of how much I’m becoming a crazy cat lady, but hey, at least I’m not currently single. That has to count for something, right?
“Quinn?” Archer asks softly some time later. I hadn’t quite fallen back asleep on account of an overactive mind. All those things I didn’t want to think about kept popping into my brain. “Are you awake?”
I tighten my arm around him and tip my head up. “Yeah.”
He smiles and kisses my forehead. “I like waking up next to you.”
“I like it too. But you, not me. Because saying I like it too means I like waking up next to myself, right?”
He laughs softly. “Sure. Are you hungry? I’ll make breakfast. Just tell me what you want.”
I wrinkle my nose. “Breakfast and I don’t really get along too well at the moment.”
“Oh, right.”
“But a smoothie sounds good, and easy to digest.”
“I can go get you one.” He smooths my hair back. Neither of us makes a move to get up. Lounging around in bed with Archer—who’s now my boyfriend—feels so damn good.
“There’s stuff in the freezer for it. I used to make smoothies every morning in an attempt to eat healthy. We have donuts and coffee cake at work all the time, and bringing a smoothie with me helped me resist the temptation.”
“I think I went into the wrong line of work,” Archer jokes. “You have parties and donuts at your office.”
“The first Monday of every month we have massages too.”
“Yep. Definitely the wrong line.”
I grip Archer’s hand and exhale slowly, eyes on the large TV screen mounted on the wall in front of us. The room is cold, and I’m blaming that on why I’m trembling. But really, I’m nervous as fuck.
“Try and relax,” the ultrasound tech tells me. Archer gives my hand a reassuring squeeze. I tear my eyes away from the screen to look at his face, needing to see into his deep, brown eyes for a second.
Because this is it.
The moment I know will change everything.
“All right, Mom and Dad,” the tech says with a smile on her face. “There’s your baby.”
Archer and I both look at the screen, watching a little white blob come in and out of focus. Something flickers inside of it, and I don’t have to be told to know what it is.
It’s the heart.
Tears well in the corners of my eyes, and I tighten my hold on Archer’s hand. The tech takes a few pictures and then switches something over so we can hear. I turn my head, looking at Archer as the sound of our baby’s heartbeat fills the room. He’s smiling, looking at the screen with emotion in his eyes.
And now I’m a goner.
The tears roll down my cheeks, but I don’t try to stop them. Everything hits me all at once, and my mind races from I’m going to have a baby to that’s my baby’s heart beating and I’m scared and panicked while at the same time maternal instincts are kicking in and I’m feeling incredibly protective of that little flickering heartbeat.
After the ultrasound, we meet with my OB. I think I’m in a state of shock, not really absorbing any of the information the doctor gives me. Thank goodness Archer is there and in doctor-mode himself. Everything looks good with the baby, and we’re given the official due date of March eighteenth, one day after Archer’s birthday. I get a prescription for anti-nausea medication and leave with a spinning head.
“Quinn?” Archer says carefully when we get into the elevator to go back down to the main floor of the building. “Are you okay?”
I swallow hard, hearing the baby’s heartbeat echo over and over again in my head. Archer recorded a clip on his phone and sent it to me, so I have it to reference later, though I don’t think I’ll need to.
“My mom keeps talking about how excited she is to someday plan my wedding.” My jaw starts to tremble and I lose my resolve. Archer takes me in his arms, cradling me against his chest. I press my face into his shirt, not wanting anyone to see me cry. We’re alone in the elevator for now, but that’ll change soon, I’m sure.
I don’t expect Archer to understand my train of thought. Hell, I hardly understand it. But he does.
“I know things didn’t happen the way you thought it would, and I’m sure your parents will be upset. But it’s only because they love you, and because they love you, they’ll come around. Dean too. All your brothers will be there for you, and eventually your mom is going to be pretty damn excited to get another grandchild. Hell, I bet even Jackson will be happy to have a cousin.”
I pull a tissue from my purse and mop up my face before blowing my nose again. Stifling a cough, I turn my face up to Archer’s. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
“And as for your wedding…” He trails off, hand going to the back of his neck.
If he were to suggest to me right now that we get married, I’m telling him no. Though for the last ten years I’ve been convinced there is no one more perfect in this world than Archer, I can’t do that to him. I want him to marry someone he’s head over heels in love with, not the girl who got knocked up during an attempted one-night stand. Yeah, he likes me. But liking someone isn’t enough to get married.
“You’ll still plan it. And it will be perfect. Maybe having your kid there will make it more special. They can, uh, bring the ring down the aisle or something.”
“Or be a flower girl,” I say quietly. I close my eyes, trying to imagine it, and I can’t. I can always see things panning out, and that vision drives me.
I saw myself getting into MIT. And I did.
I envisioned working at one of the best new software companies in the country. And I do.
Living alone in the city? Yeah, I could see myself doing that before I even took the job.
But having a baby? I can’t picture it. At all. I can hardly even see myself with a big belly. I’d give anything for a cheat code to get around this mental blockage in my head. I have to play the game to get to the end, but if I could at least see how it works out, I’ll be fine.
Not knowing is killing me.
“Breathe, Quinn,” Archer says, hands landing on my shoulders. I let out a breath, just now becoming aware that I’m hyperventilating. “It’ll be okay.”
“You keep saying that, but how? How is it going to be okay?”
“I don’t know. But I do know I want it to be okay, so I’ll find a way.” He moves his hands to my face and looks me in the eye. “We’ll figure it out, Quinn. I promise.”
The elevator dings and the doors open. Archer keeps a steady hold on my hand as we get out, walking through the lobby and stepping out into the summer sun. We grab lunch to bring back to my apartment and sit on the couch once we’re done.
I’m coughing again and feeling run down, and cuddling up with Archer is exactly what I need. We put on a movie and even though there are a million and one thoughts running through my brain, I doze off and fall asleep before the movie ends.
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