by S. Massery
“He told me not to go. So.”
She sighs. “Good, because the thought of sitting outside in the cold sounded miserable.”
I laugh. Yeah, it is miserable if you’re not moving around. The students who go to watch will probably notice my absence—another win for Coach and Margo—and interrogate me about it on Monday.
As it is, we’re catching questions on why Eli hasn’t been in school. Add me to the mix, and everyone’s curiosity is going to double.
“I’ll tell Riley,” she murmurs. She hurries away from me without looking back.
I head to my car, pulling out my phone. May as well give my friends the heads-up that I won’t be at practice.
Me: Coach banned me from tryouts. Got fucked over.
Theo: Bummer.
Liam: What’d you do?
Me: Just some bullshit. I’ll be back to practice on Monday.
Eli: Me, too. Flying home tomorrow.
I breathe a sigh of relief. It’s been a little weird having Eli’s entire house to myself. I contemplated throwing a party just to cure my nightly boredom, but I didn’t want to deal with the clean-up and aftermath.
Once back home, I kick off my shoes and head to the basement.
I make it halfway across the room when something hits me from behind.
My legs buckle, and I go down, barely avoiding slamming my head into the floor. A heavy weight presses on my spine, and a hand grips the back of my head.
“You little shit,” my uncle breathes. “Can you do anything right lately?”
I exhale. “Uncle—”
“Shut. Up.”
His knee digs between my shoulder blades, and I freeze.
“Here’s how this is going to go. You’re going to pack a bag and stay at my house for the weekend. We’re going to work on your fucking respect.”
I stay silent.
He gets off of me. “Up.”
I do as he says, moving slowly. I climb to my feet and pivot.
He looks at me like I’m worse than a cockroach. His nose wrinkles. His eyebrows pull down, and his lips twist. “You have five minutes.”
And then he walks out.
Consequences. I knew they were coming. But I didn’t expect them to all happen at once.
I grab a duffle bag I use for away games and shove clothes into it. My running shoes. A jacket and hat. It doesn’t take me long, so I linger for a moment with one of my shirts in my hand. Margo wore it once, and it still smells faintly of her.
I take it with me and jog up the stairs and out the door. I lock it behind me, wondering only briefly at how my uncle was able to get in. I imagine the housekeeper let him in, or the Blacks gave him a key when I first came to live here.
Either way, I wish he didn’t.
The car is idling at the curb. He never drives—just part of his fucking persona—and his driver opens the backseat for me. I hand him my bag and slide in, closing the door behind me.
Uncle David glances over at me. “Coach had a lot to say. And you’ve been disrespecting your mother.”
“I—”
His backhand comes out of nowhere. My head whips to the side, my cheekbone catching fire almost immediately. I don’t move except to straighten my head.
He’s breathing hard. I don’t think he’s had anyone to push around in quite a while—not since I lived with him and Aunt Iris, anyway. It was one of the reasons Eli’s parents said they could take me in. Because I showed up to their house for Eli’s birthday party with bruises on my wrists and a black eye, and Uncle said I just fell down the stairs.
I press my lips together, keeping my hands in my lap.
Only a few more months until I’m free of him. My birthday is in April, and then… no more chains holding me down. No more dealing with my family’s bullshit.
“I was hoping Coach Marzden would be a good influence on you. Guide you the way we couldn’t, since your mother was against our methods.” His jaw tics. “It’s only by your mother’s grace that we didn’t transfer you to Lion’s Head after—”
“I’m sorry.” I don’t mean it.
Uncle grunts, pulling out his phone. It’s clear enough: conversation over.
My cheek throbs. I’m in for one hell of a weekend.
15
Margo
“It was spectacular,” Sav gushes. “She scrambled down the back of the pyramid and ran away, clutching her stomach. Our coach was so pissed at her.”
Riley and Sav look at me. At my unimpressive non-reaction.
“This was your idea, Margo,” Savannah says. “Why aren’t you happy?”
“Because I expected payback.” I rub my arms. The whole weekend, I kept expecting Caleb to accost me. But there’s been nothing. Not a whisper or text from him.
“The whole cheer team is mad at Amelie. Maybe it didn’t go down the way we envisioned with Caleb’s coach—”
“Because we put my name in the letter and Coach interrogated me about it,” I say. “You saw it. The whole school did. So what if Caleb didn’t go to tryouts? He’s still on the team.”
Riley and Sav exchange a glance.
“Well…” Riley shrugs. “I guess. Eli didn’t go, either. Then again, he had a good excuse. Family emergency and being out of town.”
“Is he back?” I ask.
Riley blushes.
“Ooh,” Sav teases, elbowing Riley. “Spill.”
“He came over yesterday.” She shrugs. “I don’t know. Sometimes he’s nice and sometimes he’s…”
“A bully.” I raise my eyebrow.
She laughs. “Yep. How’d that happen?”
Savannah grimaces. “Will has a dark streak, too,” she murmurs.
“Seems like we all fall for the bad guys,” I say. “And now we need to do homework.”
Robert pops his head into my bedroom. His gaze goes around the room, then lands on me. He’s been hovering more since Caleb and I walked into class together on Friday.
And speaking of Caleb… I can’t believe I got in his face. Admitted the things I did. Got the answers that I did.
He knows who Unknown is, I can just feel it. And he won’t help me.
“You girls having fun?” Robert asks.
“We were just about to start homework, Mr. Jenkins,” Savannah says.
He smiles. “Good, good. Margo, don’t forget about your painting. It’s due before Christmas break.”
Less than a month to go. And only a few weeks of classes in December, then we’ll have holidays and the new year, and suddenly we’ll be into the spring semester. Time flies when you feel like your foster parents aren’t going to eject you from the home.
Caleb tried to get rid of me and failed.
“Earth to Margo,” Riley calls.
I shake my head. “Yeah, sorry. I’m going to work on it next weekend.”
He nods and retreats, closing the door behind him.
“Where’s your mom?” Sav asks. “Er, foster mom.”
“She had a business trip,” I say. “She forgot about it and left on Thursday. I think she’s coming back tonight.”
“What does she do, again?” Riley pulls books from her bag.
“Some sort of corporate liaison for merging companies.” I lift one shoulder. “She explained it once, but it kind of went over my head. There’s a lot of legal stuff she deals with, but also I think she acts like a therapist for the CEOs losing their jobs.”
“Did she work with Caleb’s dad’s company?” Sav asks.
I blink. “Huh?”
“When his company was bought out. Was she the one who helped negotiate the Ashers’s jobs?”
“I’m sorry, Sav, I don’t really even know what happened with that.” But it might be useful.
She clears her throat. “Benjamin Asher was a big insurance and real estate mogul. He basically had a foothold in most of Rose Hill. His insurance company was bought out by Prinze Industries, but they kept him on as a vice president of something or other after the merge.” She shru
gs. “Mom always said that it was kind of like… a sympathy job. They didn’t really want him around, and I’m sure he didn’t do shit. But it was a nice paycheck.”
“How do you know all that?” Riley asks.
“Mom and Dad get chatty after a few glasses of wine,” Sav says. “Plus, dinner parties? Mom is the biggest gossip.”
“So Caleb’s dad sold the company and negotiated to keep a well-paying job, on top of a payout.”
“Well, yeah…” Sav pulls her leg up to her chest. “You didn’t know.”
“I don’t remember my parents talking about it,” I say faintly. I’m sure they must’ve discussed it. The Ashers would’ve rocketed from wealthy into billionaire status. A personal chef—ha, they could’ve hired four personal chefs.
“We were like eight or so. And then everything went kaboom,” Savannah adds.
Me. I caused the explosion. Caleb’s said as much. And my dreams have indicated that something isn’t quite right.
“What did I do?” I whisper, more to myself than them.
Riley shakes her head, and Sav just stares at me with sympathy.
“No one ever said,” Savannah tells me. “Just rumors, and no one knew what was true.” Her phone rings, startling all of us. She climbs to her feet and goes into the hall, her voice muted.
“I don’t know what to believe,” I whisper to Riley. “About the past, the present. It’s all just so confusing.”
“What about your dad?”
I jerk back. “What about him?”
“I mean, your mom left, right? She was a drug addict. It’s what people at school say.”
“That’s true,” I admit.
“And your dad’s in prison.”
“What’s your point?”
She holds up her hands, and I realize… I’m snapping at her. It’s a sensitive subject.
“Sorry,” I mutter.
“What did he go for?” she asks. “And before you get defensive, I’m only asking because maybe there’s a chance he didn’t want to leave you.”
My eyes fill with tears. I rub at my face. “Um, he went to prison for something to do with drugs. My case worker said he was dealing, probably got my mom addicted.”
Riley’s silent, and when I look up, there’s pity smeared across her face.
“No,” I order. “I can’t deal with pity.”
“It isn’t—”
My glare stops her short.
She hangs her head. “I’m sorry. It’s a shitty situation, and I don’t know how you deal with it all without being a mess. I admire you for it. But it also hurts.”
I soften and reach out to grab her hand. “I’m sorry, too. I’m just used to pity… not sympathy. Or even worse, empathy.” I smile.
She laughs. “Never pity.”
“Thank you.”
Savannah reenters the room, attention going to our hands. “Am I interrupting a moment?”
“Only a bit,” I say, releasing my best friend. “But there’s only so much of it we can handle. Right, Ri?”
“Yep.”
“That was my dad on the phone,” she says. “I’m being summoned home for dinner. Apparently, Mom has big news.”
“Ah.” Riley stretches out her legs. “Hope it’s something good.”
“As opposed to, what, cancer?”
Riley’s face goes carefully blank—but I don’t think Savannah notices. She breezes past and picks up her books, shoving them into her bag.
“See you later.”
The front door slams shut. I go to the window, tracking Sav’s movements. When she’s finally gets in her car and pulls away, I turn back toward Riley.
“What was that?” I ask.
Riley shakes her head. “What?”
“She mentioned cancer, and you reacted weird.”
She bites her lip. “Yeah, Mom had it. But she’s fine now. In remission.” She forces a smile. “She has six-month checkups, but for a while it was a big thing.”
I sit next to her. “The school knew?”
“I missed a lot of school my freshmen year. Someone found out and spread it around that Mom was going to die.”
I wince.
“It faded.”
“Still,” I say under my breath.
“It’s time for a subject change,” she says. “Let’s do homework so we can watch a movie and eat popcorn.”
“Deal.”
And that’s just what we do. She stays late, finishing off a carton of mint chocolate chip ice cream with me and Robert. Lenora comes home and joins us, murmuring how glad she was to finally be back.
Riley leaves, and I go back to my room. I expect Caleb to be waiting for me, but the room is empty. My window is shut, the curtains drawn like I had left them.
Unexpected disappointment coasts through me, and then relief a moment later. He’s probably planning something—a way to make me pay for the stunt I pulled.
I get ready for bed, then slide under the covers. My whole body tingles with expectancy. If not tonight, when?
He doesn’t come—and it isn’t the first time I’ve felt let down by him not breaking into my room. Stupid heart. Stupid childhood.
Stupid bracelet, glaring at me from my dresser.
I stand and walk over to it. I lift it, intending to put it in my drawer. Out of sight, out of mind. But once it’s in my hand, I can’t let it go. He really did find someone to do a good job. The threads are protected by the cage. For the first time, I think of the irony.
Did he get it?
That we’ve imprisoned each other in a life sentence of heartache.
I keep the bracelet in my fist as I lie back down, closing my eyes. My heart and my mind are at war—to love him or to hate him. How can I possibly choose which one is right?
16
Margo
Winter has arrived early, it seems. Not in snowfall—luckily what little we had melted over the weekend—but in windchill. The temperature has dropped into the teens, and the ground is frozen solid.
Lenora puts a hat on my head, patting my cheeks and smiling faintly. She opens her mouth to say something, then seems to think better of it.
Robert drives me today. He gets to go straight to his classroom, while the students have been shuffled from the courtyard to the cafeteria before school starts. He waves goodbye at the door.
Someone’s feeling a little cheeky.
The cafeteria is a place I like to avoid. In the back, toward the windows, are the popular kids. Amelie is noticeably absent, but Savannah is there with her cheerleaders, leaning against one of the football player’s arms. She looks at me and then away, and it’s… message received.
The downfall of Amelie a success—albeit a temporary one—and Savannah is back to being a popular girl.
It’s fine.
I search the room for a friendly face, but Riley hasn’t arrived. And Caleb hasn’t, either.
I’m still hunting for either of them by the time the bell rings.
First period, no Caleb.
Second, nada.
Between second and third I find Riley. She almost doesn’t see me, walking by with her head down, so I grab her and tow her into the nearest stairwell.
“Where were you this morning?” I ask.
She widens her eyes. “I’m sorry. I overslept, and then Eli picked me up. He’s back, did you notice?”
“Yeah, but Caleb isn’t here, and Savannah is back to…”
“The top of the pyramid, so to speak?” Riley shakes her head. “I thought I heard that. There’s a cheerleader in my first period class, couldn’t stop talking about how Amelie had run back to France until spring semester.”
“It didn’t sound that bad,” I mumble.
“Well, Sav left out the part where she told everyone Amelie was shitting herself on some diet.”
I cover my eyes. “Stop.”
“Yep. So much for Ian taking credit.”
I drop my hand. We’re going to be late. “Have you seen Caleb? Or heard a
nything?”
She hesitates. “No.”
Why is she lying to me?
I stare at her for a minute, then decide to drop it. “Okay.”
“I’ll see you at lunch,” she says, rushing away.
I hurry to my next class and keep my head down. I still expect Caleb to magically appear in the hallway, dodging students and sauntering up to me. I crane my neck trying to see past taller students, but he’s nowhere to be found.
And it’s daunting.
Right before lunch, I spot Theo. I rush up to him, stopping right in front of him.
“Little wolf,” he greets me.
“Where’s Caleb?”
A muscle in his jaw jumps.
I fold my arms. “Come on, Theo. Don’t make me beg.”
His eyes darken, and I involuntarily take a step back.
“Don’t mistake our moment in the woods for kindness,” he says. “And as for Caleb, it’s none of your business. He’s taking a sick day.”
“A sick day,” I repeat, my abdomen clenching. When has Caleb ever been sick? As a kid—never. Since then, I don’t know.
Theo brushes past me. “Leave it alone, Margo.”
I shake my head. If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s not leaving something alone.
Riley waits for me outside the library, her foot tapping. “Eli invited us to sit with them,” she says. “Caleb isn’t here, so I figured—”
“It’s fine,” I say, walking by her. The encounter with Theo has me thinking… and plotting. “What’d you bring?”
“Figured I’d get hot lunch today,” she mumbles. Her cheeks turn red.
“Look at you, Riley Appleton.” I laugh. “Eli’s influence, huh?”
“He might’ve offered to buy it. And who am I to mock hot lunch, when it means I don’t have to eat another tuna fish sandwich made with ‘love’ from my dad?”
“Fair enough.”
She’s been griping about tuna for weeks. It’s about time she’s done something about it.
We go to the lacrosse table. Only a few weeks ago, I was welcomed with open arms. The guys don’t exactly roll out the red carpet this time, but Liam shuffles to the side and pats the seat next to him.