He ducked out a side door before Grant, Riley or Brenden caught sight of him. Since he and Vaughn had been on-duty all night, they should be hitting the hay. If the others couldn’t find him, they’d assume he’d found some place to crash for a few hours. That meant he had time to go find Yvonne and maybe get to the bottom of this mess.
All the team wanted to do was their job. Instead they were spending too much time fighting with the very people they were supposed to be protecting.
If only Yvonne’s family were half as reasonable as her, they wouldn’t have these damn problems.
The walk from the guest house to the pool behind the main house took a few minutes. Minutes that in a dangerous situation might cost the family their lives. What if it was Yvonne who paid for their foolishness?
Once again he found her sitting poolside on a lounge chair. She’d slid her heels off and her legs were curled under her.
“I thought we talked about this.” He slowed his pace as he stepped from grass to concrete.
Yvonne sucked in air and her head jerked up. She’d been completely unaware of him. Her lashes fluttered, and she lifted a hand to her hair.
He sank down on the chair next to her, elbows on his knees. “Didn’t go well?”
She glanced over her shoulder at the house. “We should walk.”
“Sure.” He got up and offered her his hand.
Instead of putting her shoes back on she carried them, feet swishing through the grass as they cut away from the lawn and toward the trees separating the two homes on the property.
Neither spoke until they reached the little paved path winding between the trees.
“They aren’t going to budge and please don’t ask me to tell you why.” She kept her head down, not looking at him.
“Hey.” He grasped her elbow and pulled her to a stop. “I’m on your side, you know? You tell me what you can.”
“This whole thing is a mess.” She tipped her chin up and looked at him.
He saw himself in her. The dutiful sibling. The one that kept things together. He knew what that weight felt like. For years he’d struggled under it, cursing its weight. And then it was gone. His brother’s life snuffed out. Nolan’s brother hadn’t been a textbook good person, but he’d been family. Nolan and others had made excuses for him. They’d enabled that behavior and now his brother was dead.
She glanced away, but he still felt her pain. That just pissed him off more.
“Talk to me. Not about that, something else. Anything.” He edged closer until he could slide an arm around her waist.
“What else is there to talk about?” She lifted her chin and looked at him.
“Plenty. How do you like your coffee?”
“Sweet and creamy.”
“Just like you.” He’d tasted her cream and knew first hand just how sweet she was.
She glanced away, a little spark in her eyes and color in her cheeks. “Stop that.”
“Do I have to?” He cupped her chin and lifted her face. “Hm?”
Her eyes were on his mouth. “What?”
Nolan kissed her, suckling her lower lip until she groaned and clutched his shoulders. He lifted his face and stared down at her. During these moments she let him past that polished exterior and he got to see the real her. The one he hadn’t been expecting.
“Are you trying to seduce answers out of me?” One side of her mouth quirked up. She wasn’t serious.
“Would you tell me if it was working?”
A bit of the brightness dimmed, and she stared at his shoulder, tracing her fingers over the words Aegis Group stitched there.
“I can’t. I think moving your team out of the house is a mistake, but they aren’t going back on it. They believe this is how we protect ourselves.” She placed her hands on his chest, but didn’t push him away. Instead she leaned into him. “We shouldn’t need protecting. If I could go back, if I were thinking properly, I wouldn’t have let this happen.”
“You can’t blame yourself.” He squeezed her a little tighter. “You’re going to. I know it and so do you, but I have to say it.”
Yvonne glanced up at him, her lips curling down in a frown.
He didn’t get personal with clients. Once that line was crossed it became difficult to separate pleasure and business. He’d seen it happen too many times to believe it could be different even once. But he couldn’t go backward.
“When my brother died it ripped my family apart. We all blamed ourselves. Each other. There was always something else we thought we could have done to prevent it. Stop him. But we never admitted the truth. That he was the monster we’d created.”
“Are you saying Douglas is a monster?”
“No—”
“Sometimes I wonder if he is.” She dropped her gaze to his chest. “He’s not a bad kid. He’s just used to everyone else taking care of him. With Theo and me, Dad was more hands on. I think that’s the difference. Mom raised Doug. Dad was suddenly so busy. Theo wanted to grow up to be like Dad and I...”
“What did you want?”
“I wanted to be Theo.” She chuckled.
Why was it she wanted to be her older brother?
Nolan didn’t think he’d like the answer.
“I moved to LA in part because I didn’t want to watch what was happening with Doug. Growing up everyone fell all over themselves to tell Mom and Dad what handsome boys they were raising. You’d think the only thing that mattered was a penis.”
Nolan sputtered a laugh, but it quickly died.
“I used to say that Doug could get away with murder.” Her chin tipped up. “He didn’t kill anyone. You know that, right?”
“He doesn’t strike me as the type.” He wasn’t going to mention how the kid had cried when they’d pulled him out of the van.
“Well, now how many people are dead?” She shivered.
They lapsed into silence.
He couldn’t make her tell him what brought about this shift. The only way Yvonne would trust him with the family secrets was if he remained patient. He couldn’t push even though that was what his gut screamed at him to do.
“How is your family now?” she asked softly.
Nolan let go of her. He couldn’t hold her and talk about the shit storm that was his family. “Mom and Dad are divorced. Sometimes I can talk to her and things are fine, but most of it she just wants to talk about my brother. Dad, well...he has other ways of coping.”
“I’m sorry.”
“We were never a perfect family.”
She turned, staring off across the grass. “Do you think that’s what’s going to happen to Doug? Do you think he’ll do something crazy then die?”
“N-no. That’s not what I’m saying.”
“Because sometimes I wonder if that’s what’ll happen.” Yvonne glanced at him. The pain and fear were written into the lines of her face. “Don’t tell anyone I said that?”
“Not a soul.” He edged closer. Part of him wanted to keep holding onto her, to tell her it would all be okay. Even if neither of them believed it.
“Do you think you’ll ever settle down someday?” She was once more studying the clouds, her thoughts far away from the present.
“Me?” He shrugged. “I’m not opposed to the idea. Is there something you want to ask me?”
“What?” Her eyes went round, and she stared at him. A blush crept up her neck, staining her cheeks a pale pink. “T-that’s not what I meant.”
“You know what they say about protesting too much?” He grabbed her hand and tugged her toward him until he could slide his hands around her waist.
“I was not saying anything.”
“I know.” Because why would a woman like her want a future with him?
“Just speaking in the theoretical sense.” She found a spot on his shoulder to stare at.
What was she hiding? Had he read her wrong? Did she want something more from him?
Nolan couldn’t lead her on. He needed to be honest. This job didn
’t make things easy for him or anyone he was involved with.
“Theoretical, huh? Well, the facts are my lifestyle hasn’t been conducive to working in that direction. Like I said, I’m not opposed to it, but I don’t know that I’d make a good partner. I travel too much. Then there’s the danger. The injuries. It’s a lot to ask a woman to deal with on a regular basis.”
“Do you get hurt often?”
“Not if I can help it.”
“I see.”
“What about you?”
“No.”
“No?”
“I don’t see myself settling down, getting married or having kids. I’m married to my job. Anyone else has to come after that, and it isn’t fair to ask that of any man because I chose this path.”
Nolan didn’t like that answer. It wasn’t any different from his. They were both putting their job first before people who might make them a hell of a lot happier in life. But at least he got to go home knowing he saved lives. He made lives better. Could she say her work did the same for anyone else?
“Vee?” He clasped his hands behind his back.
“Hm?”
“May I say something out of line?”
“You’re asking permission? I’m not sure I want to hear this.”
“I think you should reconsider.” He glanced sideways at her. “I haven’t known you long, but what I’ve seen is you doing the heavy lifting and everyone else taking the credit.”
“It’s a team effort. I—”
“Is it really?” He pivoted to face her all the while his mind was screaming at him to shut up. “This really isn’t my place, but—they treat you like shit. You’re fucking Cinderella in this family.”
“I am not. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” She drew away from him, her frown deepening.
“Don’t I? Let me guess who wrote the keynote speech. You?”
Yvonne glared at him.
“Who got the credit for it?” He paused, but she didn’t answer.
“You followed me around for a few days and now you think you know everything about me, don’t you? Well, you don’t. You don’t know anything about me.” She stepped off the sidewalk and into the grass, spine straight.
Shit.
He really should not have opened his mouth
“Vee? Vee, wait.” He reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her to a stop. “You’re right. I’m a bastard. Fuck me. I don’t know what I’m talking about.”
“You really don’t.” She pulled away from him, cradling her arm to her chest.
Nolan stood rooted to the spot, watching her whirl away from him and stalk across the grass, back toward her ivory tower.
“Fuck,” he muttered.
He should have kept his damn mouth shut. This was why he didn’t get involved with clients. If he was going to be with someone he was damn well going to be honest with them. He’d kept his mouth shut with his brother and there were dozens of things he should have said, but hadn’t.
Yvonne might be like him, but they were a world apart. He needed to remember that. She was a job.
YVONNE COULDN’T SEE the house. Even the grass a few feet in front of her was blurry.
She lifted a hand and swiped at her face, doing her best to stem the tears. There was a difference between knowing her place in the family, and others seeing it. She’d always played the role of the dutiful daughter, content to work in the shadows, because she was part of something. Yes, Theodore had a bad habit of not passing along the praise for her work, but he had a lot on his plate, too. It wasn’t like he sat back doing nothing. They each did their part.
Instead of heading for the patio, she cut through the grass toward the old oak tree and the tree house. As kids Theodore used to say she wasn’t allowed inside because she was a girl, but Douglas would sneak her up when their oldest brother wasn’t looking. They’d spent happier days up there.
The old oak was on the east side of the yard, twenty or so feet from the fence. She didn’t remember when the landscaping company had put in the stone path, but her bare feet were grateful for it. When she’d been younger and the trees heavy with leaves, there hadn’t been much to set this one apart. Now a neat ring of bushes circled it, creating a sort of yard and a short distance away was a bench.
She set her shoes on the paving stones then placed her hands on the rungs leading up to the trap door.
This had been their hideaway as kids, and right now she needed space. She needed to think.
Yvonne hoisted herself up, climbing past the low-hanging branches to the ones cradling the tree house. She pushed the door up and shimmied inside. Leaves littered the floor and from the thin coat of dust it was obvious no one had been here for a while which was fine by her.
The structure was just tall enough for her to stand. Anyone else would have to crouch. Just another factor that made this their space. Even Dad hadn’t ventured up here beyond a few necessary trips to do some upkeep. Other than that, it had been their domain.
Shelves lined one wall. Two walls were taken up with shuttered windows. And a little daybed with no mattress was on the other side. Despite the lack of a mattress, she lowered herself onto the plywood frame and stretched out.
They’d always begged to be allowed to sleep out here, but it had never happened. At least not until they were older.
She lifted her hand and traced the three sets of initials were written on the beam over her head.
T.K.
Y.K.
D.K.
Their family wasn’t perfect. They were messed up in their own way. Nolan could fault them for how she was treated all he liked. Iit didn’t change the fact that these people were her blood.
If she were pregnant—and it was unlikely that she was—this was the family the baby would be born into.
A knot formed just below her ribs.
Mom would tell her to get rid of the baby, no matter that it wasn’t the child’s fault Yvonne had gotten pregnant. Mom would see a baby like that as a black mark on the family. She was always trying to make them worthy of her relatives. As though the hard work of her husband didn’t matter as much as being born into money.
Yvonne wished she had her phone on her, but she’d left it in the house when she went outside seeking quiet. She needed to talk to Tabby. To tell her about the tests.
Did Tabby regret being pressured into ending her pregnancy?
Yvonne only knew about it because Tabby had begged her to go up to a ski lodge for spring break instead of the beach. It was just about the most boring trip ever. Tabby stayed holed up in her room. Yvonne didn’t have anything to do other than watch TV. She’d been so bored she’d wound up studying. It hadn’t been till halfway through the trip that Tabby confessed the truth to Yvonne. She’d never cried so much in her entire life. That whole night, she held her best friend and felting the weight of her own family’s expectations smothering her, knowing neither of them had a choice at that point in their lives.
But Yvonne had a choice now. She wasn’t a child. If the positive tests were correct, if Yvonne was pregnant, she wouldn’t cave to her mother’s wishes. Yvonne didn’t care what people would think or say. If she had a baby, she’d do things differently. This baby—if it really was that—was hers. And that would mean a change in priorities. She might have told Nolan that work came first, but if she had a baby, that child had to come first.
That realization stopped her breath.
She pushed up, sitting cross legged on the plywood.
A baby meant no traveling for work. Her role right now depended on regular travel. It wasn’t like she could just hand that part of her job over to someone. No, it made more sense to let someone better suited do the job. And that meant she’d have to step back, take on a smaller role. Train someone to do what she did and pray it was a person they could trust because she wouldn’t drop everything to pick up the slack.
Even then, it left a bad taste in her mouth.
There were plenty of women who had ch
ildren and a career, but Yvonne was the kind of person who did one thing at a time, and she did it well. She wouldn’t be a mediocre mother or settle for a median career path.
Whatever happened, she wanted to throw herself into it. Be the best. Because that was what she did. It was who she was.
What role would Nolan play? Would he be involved? Or would he rather she pretend to never know the father?
The choice she made impacted both their lives. The only difference was that she’d been born into money. If he didn’t want the child, he didn’t have to contribute or even see it. But she would have to tell him in certain terms what was happening and for that she had to stop burying her head in the sand.
It was time to go see a doctor. To find out if she needed more rest and soup. Or to start making some big life changes.
“Oh, boy.” She leaned back against the wall and stared at the initials.
That was a lot to take in all at once.
Yesterday she’d assumed she’d live and die working for her father. Today she was contemplating a world where she didn’t work at all. It was surreal.
“Vee? Vee, you up there?” Theodore called out.
She started at the sound of his voice, not quite ready to talk to anyone.
Did she have to reply?
Her shoes were down there. She didn’t really have a choice.
“Yes, I’m up here,” she replied.
“What are you doing?”
She slid off the bed and crouched at the trap door opening. “Coming down.”
Theodore stood at the bottom of the tree looking up. He had a coffee cup in one hand and she could just barely smell it. Her stomach growled, reminding her that in the morning rush she hadn’t even tried eating yet.
“Avert your eyes.” She sat and dangled one leg over the edge.
“You are not—” Theodore turned and laughed. “If Mom sees you...”
Yvonne almost wanted her mother to watch. She’d always been dressed up and primped, but deep down all she’d ever wanted to do was tag along after her brothers.
She closed the trap door then climbed down the trunk.
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