If she loved him enough to forgive him for his past.
The sound of a piano fell on the ear, the soft notes of a familiar hymn. Just as I Am.
How appropriate.
Minnie opened the door and grinned. “I was kinda expecting you tonight. Come in. Ella’s retired to her room to work on the wedding, but Molly’s down here.” She laughed. “But I guess you can hear her playing.” She left him in the parlor and hustled toward the music.
The piano fell silent and within a couple of seconds Molly appeared, a smile on her sweet face. “Luke, I’m so glad you stopped by. Ella said you’d have a deacons’ meeting tonight, so I feared you wouldn’t have time.”
He closed the distance between them and took both her hands in his. “That’s something you’ll never have to fear in the future, my sweet Molly. I resolve to always have time for you.”
Tears welled in her eyes. “That’s the most…the most wonderful thing I’ve ever heard, Luke, but I know how busy you’ve been.”
He laid his arm around her shoulder and eased her to the sofa. “Not anymore. The men of the church are going to hold a house-raising tomorrow and finish the construction.”
Keeping her smile in place and her eyes focused on him, she sank onto the cushions. “That’s…bully, as Ella says.”
He laughed and sat beside her, still holding one of her hands. “It’s generous of them. Oh, and Mr. Jensen has relieved me of duty at the sawmill until after the wedding.”
“But you’ll still have to finish plowing the fields.”
“No, I’m going to let the fields go to pasture. Mr. Mills has approved my loan to purchase a small herd of Jerseys—a start on our dairy farm.”
Molly pressed her palms to her chest and then grabbed ahold of Luke in a hug he wasn’t expecting, but sent a dart of happiness to his heart. He folded her in his arms and rested his chin on the top of her head. “It’s going to take time and a lot of hard work, but I have my mother’s cheese recipes, and with train routes springing up all over, I know we can sell all we can make to Eastern markets.”
She pulled back. “Does that mean you’ll let me help?”
“Let you help? I can’t do it without you, Molly.”
“I know how to milk.”
“That’s good, and once I teach you the cheese process you can help with that.” He chuckled. “I expect you’ll get better at it than me. Pa always said Ma was a better cheese maker than he was. She brought the recipes from Sweden.”
“She’s Swedish? Is that where you got your blond hair?” She reached up and ruffled his hair, sending tingles down his arms to his fingertips.
“Her hair was much lighter, but yes, I suppose so.”
“We’ll build the best dairy in the state. I can take care of the chickens, too, while you take the cows out to pasture.”
A tendril of hair had escaped its net to fall over her cheek, and he brushed it back. “I know you wrote me all that about how you took care of the chickens back in Georgia.”
“I did. I can do just about anything on the farm except one.” A look of uncertainty came in her eyes.
“What’s that? Muck the horse stalls?”
“No. Wring the chickens’ necks. Mammy showed me before she left—and I…I ran away. I couldn’t stand to see the poor things flopping around. I can put them in boiling water and pluck the feathers.” She giggled. “And cook them, but you’ll have to slaughter them for me. Please.”
“I’ll do all the slaughtering. I promise.”
“Thank you. I’m sorry I’m such a coward.”
The word cut through, sharply reminding him of what he had to say. He stiffened and she moved back, putting space between them. He angled to look into her eyes, like studying deep pools before diving in. “Molly, there’s something I have to confess. Something you need to know about me. Something I hope you can…you’ll be able to forgive.”
The mood darkened like the sky before a mid-summer storm came in fast and furious. “You’re still in love with Mandy.” The words slipped out low and raspy.
“What?” He shook his head. “No, I’ve never been in love with Mandy.” The sad droop of her mouth stirred his heartstrings. “What gave you that idea. Or rather, who? As if I didn’t know. You’ve been to the mercantile, haven’t you?”
“Yes, but she said—”
He took her by the shoulders. “I don’t care what she said. Mandy and I have never had feelings beyond friends.”
She tried to smile but failed. “I know Mandy loves her dentist in New York, but I was afraid Mrs. Carter had talked her out of it.”
“I don’t think so, but in any event, I’ve never been in love with Mandy—or any of the Carter daughters.” He stroked her cheek. “I think I fell in love with you from your letters before I even met you because you wrote the words that spoke to my heart in a way no other woman had.”
Her darks eyes filmed to the shade of molten chocolate. “That’s so beautiful. I hoped and prayed we’d suit each other, and I felt the Holy Spirit telling me it was right, but I didn’t dare hope you’d feel the same way. Not right away.”
Dropping his hands, he turned to stare at the far wall, unable to look into those beautiful, caring eyes any longer. “I, too, believe God brought us together, Molly, and I hope what I’m about to tell you doesn’t change your opinion about me, but a marriage has to be based on trust. And the truth is I lied to you about something.”
“What?”
“I told you I’d never been to Georgia. The truth is, I was with Sherman’s army.” He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.
“Did you go with Sherman all the way to Savannah?”
Hunched over, he fisted his hands between his knees, gathering what fragments of courage he had left. “No—I sustained an injury outside of Atlanta and was discharged.”
She clutched a palm to her chest. “Oh no, how were you hurt?”
He couldn’t look into those soft eyes as he told her. Couldn’t even sit still. Standing, he paced around the sofa. “I was under the command of Sergeant Lind, a vicious man and a drunk—a lot of Sherman’s men were. His orders were to scour the countryside for food. There was precious little to be found in the towns. He turned it into a marauding party—burning, looting, and—” He couldn’t tell her about how Lind and some of the other men treated the helpless women and slaves they ran into.
All strength drained from him and he returned to his place on the sofa, again clinched his hands together between his knees and stared at the floor. “I tried to get transferred, but it was the height of war in Georgia. No one could get discharged except for extraordinary reasons.”
He drew in a breath, reliving the horror of that time. “I’d managed to get a kitchen detail, but Sergeant Lind informed me he needed me back on patrol, which meant another raiding party.” He turned to glance at Molly, who was sitting ram-rod straight, a stricken look on her white face.
“I did the only thing I knew of to get out of it. I took a pan of boiling grease and poured it on…my leg.”
Her eyes widened in horror and both hands flew to her mouth. “Oh, Luke. Were you badly hurt?”
He closed his eyes. At the time, the pain had been so great he’d retched the contents of his stomach, but he would spare her the details. Instead, he pulled up his left pants leg and rolled the stocking down.
Molly gasped. Just the sight of the red and purple scars running from knee to ankle and deformed calf making the leg looked bowed was enough to make anyone sick. He quickly pulled the stocking up.
“It’s shriveled because I lost some of the muscle from infection. I almost lost the leg. Anyway, it earned me a discharge, and at the time I considered it worth the pain.”
She slipped her small hand into his. “Luke, I’m so sorry.”
“That wasn’t the worst of it, Molly. I was received home as a hero, even though my injury wasn’t battle related. I knew I was a coward, though. It ate at me as all sin does. I told you Daisy, the woman
I was to marry, died. Logically, I knew she died because she got sick, but deep inside, I thought God was punishing me for my cowardice. And I didn’t mention I courted Barbara Dykes for a while, but I’d started drinking heavily to try to forget and she married another. Can’t blame her. I caused my parents and brother so much grief it’s a wonder they didn’t disown me.”
He fell silent trying to gather his thoughts, to explain the miracle that happened next.
“What happened?”
“I had grown up a Christian and had believed if you turned your back on Christ, you grieved the Holy Spirit and was lost forever.”
Molly shook her head, making that curl spring back and forth over her cheek again. “No, that’s not true. You can always come back. Look at the Prodigal Son.”
“I did, Molly. I went to this camp meeting held by one of those traveling preachers. Somehow, he got through to me—or God did. When I got home, I begged my parents’ forgiveness, but I still never told them what drove me to drink, though they suspected it was something that happened in the war.”
“Of course they forgave you.”
“Yes, but they thought I’d started drinking because of the general horror of war, like so many other men of our acquaintance. You’re the first, other than God, I’ve confessed my cowardice to. But since you’re from where it happened, I felt I needed to tell you everything.”
“I’m glad you did. I want to know everything about you. Tell me about your growing up years. Your parents and brother. Your spiritual journey. Your hopes and dreams.”
Their eyes locked. Luke probed those fathomless dark pools that showed nothing but tenderness. Did she really understand what he’d confessed to? His part in destroying her home? Her way of life? Did she even have the ability to understand the evil men could inflict on others?
Mrs. Milton’s grandfather clock chimed the ninth hour. He had to leave. The stock must be tended at daybreak.
He took her in his arms. When he kissed her forehead, she tilted her beautiful face up, her lips moist, inviting. With everything in him, he schooled his passions to keep the kiss chaste, but it was she who pressed into him.
Blood boiled in his ears as he broke away. “I must be going, my love.” His voice croaked, sounding strange.
Her soft whisper answered, “I know. I’ll walk you to the door.”
With his arm around her shoulder and hers around his waist, they strode to the door. He plucked his hat from the wall hook. “I’ll see you about four tomorrow and if Miz Ella’s invitation to supper holds, I’ll stay for that. We’ll talk about the past and plan our future.”
She reached up on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. “You’ve made me very happy tonight, Luke. Sleep well.”
Their eyes locked in a trance again, and only when the night air hit his face, did Luke realize he stood outside. God, what a wonderful woman. I don’t know why you blessed me, as undeserving as I am, with such a wife, but I thank you with all my heart.
Chapter 15
Lift up your eyes, look around and see. All these gather together and come to you. “As I live,” says the Lord. “You shall surely clothe yourselves with them all as an ornament, and bind them on you as a bride does.” – Isaiah 49:18
Molly regarded her reflection in the cheval glass as tears filled her eyes. She hadn’t considered how wearing her mother’s wedding gown would affect her. All the sorrow and emptiness of soul that had swept through her the day after returning home to a burned shell of a home and a missing mother weighed on her spirit like a boulder.
Now she realized the war had wrecked lives on both sides of the war. Luke had witnessed the atrocities and was so traumatized, he’d burned his leg to escape, much like an animal will chew its foot off to escape a trap.
And only God could heal all those wounded by the war, whether from South or North.
“Oh, Molly, it’s so beautiful with your coloring. You’re simply lovely,” Rebecca said. She and Ella came up from behind to fuss over the lay of the flounces.
The dress of rose-colored faille, aged to a lighter patina, boasted a lace-trimmed demi-train. The chatelaine bodice extended below the waist, and the Valenciennes lace edged the bodice and over-skirt in a quaint old-fashioned design. A wide rose ribbon that hadn’t faded formed the sash, and a double row of lace frills surrounded the neckline and swooped over her shoulders.
Would Luke think her beautiful? He was coming later today, and she had to find some way to convince him what he’d done in the army wasn’t cowardly. In fact, in her estimation, a man who would endure such an awful injury to get out of orders to commit horrific acts against innocent people was a brave man. But she didn’t think like a man.
Nevertheless, as his wife, it was her duty to help him see the other side of an issue. A wife was to complement a man, after all.
And the two shall be one.
“I have the veil.” Lottie’s voice came from the hallway a second before she entered the room. She held a frothy lace and net veil.
Molly turned from the mirror to allow Lottie to set it in place. All three women stood back to give a critical eye. From the looks of their expressions they weren’t pleased. She twisted back around and saw the problem. The pure white clashed with the muted color of her dress and the lace was different. Besides, the thick lace of the headdress covered her hair.
“Thank you for bringing it, Lottie, but it won’t work. What do you ladies think of my taking a section of lace from my petticoat—it’s the same as that of the dress—and getting Mrs. Lawson, the seamstress, to fashion a headdress of flowers and lace.”
“I think it would be lovely,” Ella said. “That solves that problem.”
Molly handed the veil to Lottie. If only she knew of a way to solve the problem with Daddy. Her hopes that he would forgive her and accept her invitation to come to the wedding had faded. “Did you ask your husband if he would give me away?”
Lottie smiled. “Yes, he’d be honored as I told you he would be. I understand you asked Mandy if she’d be your bridesmaid.”
“I did. She’ll be along anytime now to show me her dress. She was picking it up from Mrs. Lawson’s.”
As if summoned, Mandy appeared in the doorway. “Hello. Minnie told me to come on up.”
“Come on in, Mandy. Did Tillie get the house raising organized?” Ella asked.
“I’ll be there,” Rebecca and Lottie said in unison.
“Yes, ma’am, she did. Mother can’t come, but Cindy is going to bring a cherry cobbler.” Mandy hugged Molly. “Your dress is beautiful. Luke is going to be struck dumb when you march down the aisle.”
Molly laughed. “I hope not. It would be bad if he couldn’t speak his vows.” She fluffed out the skirt to show it to better advantage. “What will the ladies be doing at the house raising?”
“Feeding the men, of course. It will be like a church potluck on the grounds.” Mandy squeezed her arm. “And a few of us will be finishing up inside.”
“That reminds me,” Rebecca said, “I’ve got to go. The baby’s due for a feeding, and when he gets hungry, he lets the whole farm know.”
“Lottie and I will go with you,” Marni added.
Ella followed them. “I’ll see you out while Mandy helps Molly undress.”
“Aren’t you getting excited?” Mandy deftly started unbuttoning the forty-eight pearl buttons of the wedding gown. “Your wedding is just a few days away.”
Yes, so excited she found it hard to eat or sleep properly, but a bit melancholy as well. Scared she couldn’t live up to Luke’s expectations. And she’d apparently lost her father forever. There was something else. Being the center of attention didn’t sit well with her. She’d always stayed in the background as much as possible. “It doesn’t seem real yet. I’m so…unsettled…I asked Luke if he still loved you.”
Mandy’s fingers stilled. “Why would you think that? I told you we were just friends.” Behind the words was a tinge of hurt.
“I know, but your mother se
emed so convinced Luke’s feelings went deeper than yours—that he regretted you’d fallen in love with another man.”
Mandy slid the dress off Molly’s shoulders. “One thing you must know if you’re to live in this town, is don’t ever believe anything my mother says.”
Molly recoiled to hear a daughter says such things about her own mother. She’d always revered Mama. They had been so close. “I know it’s her way of trying to control your life, but surely she does so out of love.”
“Ha.” Mandy held out the violet day dress Molly had laid out to put on. “You’re the one who told me I was right to leave.”
“But you were going to leave two weeks ago. Won’t Thomas wonder where you are?”
“I sent him a letter and he’s coming to get me. He’ll be here for the wedding.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful. He’ll get to meet your family and I’m sure they’ll love him.”
“They won’t love that we’ll be leaving the next day. If I know Mother, she’ll try to talk him into moving his practice to Pelican Rapids.”
“Are there enough people to support a dentist here?” Molly turned her back to let Mandy button her up.
“No, and anyway, Thomas has a successful practice. To keep down any friction, we’ll just slip away like you did.”
Molly jerked out of Mandy’s reach before she’d finished the back. “You can’t do that. I should never have run away. You’ll regret it. I do. I should have had the courage to stand up to Daddy, even if it meant leaving on bad terms. Sneaking away was cowardly.”
Mandy’s face fell. “He hasn’t written yet or responded to your telegram?”
Tears burned the backs of her eyes, and she swallowed hard. “No. Nothing. I sent another telegram to Aunt Sadie’s address.”
Mandy stroked her cheek with the back of her hand. “I’m sorry.” She gestured for Molly to turn around so she could finish buttoning. “Maybe you’re right. I’ll discuss it with Thomas when he gets here. He’ll probably want to have it out with my parents. He’s no coward.”
Molly's New Song (Brides 0f Pelican Rapids Book 5) Page 9