by J. Nichole
“One of my patients was in a car accident, we stabilized her, but had to bring her here because she’s pregnant and they need to monitor her.” We moved aside and she rubbed her eyes. “I’m finally headed home.” She didn’t look like she did when we were doing rotations. Definitely didn’t look anything like herself when we were taking classes. Her blonde hair was pulled into a messy bun, and darkness surrounded her eyes. “How are you liking the OB residency?” she asked with a weak smile.
“Starting to second guess my specialty.” Her eyes opened wide. “Not sure I can hang on with three years of this.” I shrugged. “I kinda want a balance.”
She placed her hand on my arm. “You found someone didn’t you?” I nodded my head and looked down. “It’s understandable. All these hours are cool if you are single and don’t have shit to do on a Friday night. Not so much when you’d rather be anywhere but here.”
I was glad she understood. “You’re right,” I said before we hugged again and I let her get going. “Hey, Leigh,” I called out after her. “Let’s hang out sometime.”
“If we can find the time.” She winked and continued on down the hall.
Mrs. Peterson’s contractions stopped and as I told her, “The medicine worked, for now. Dr. Patel will be here in the morning,” I looked at my watch, “in a few hours to examine you. Rest easy tonight and if you need anything let the nurses know. If you feel your contractions start again, I’ll be back.” She thanked me and her husband adjusted her pillow making her comfortable.
I walked into my apartment and barely wanted to shower, I just wanted my bed. I sat on my couch and felt a vibration against my leg. I rested my head on the couch before I reached for my pager.
Thankfully, it wasn’t my pager. But I looked at the empty screen as I felt the vibration against my leg again. It was my phone. “Hey Nick,” I said.
“Beautiful mind,” he said with scruffiness in his voice. I made myself comfortable on the couch, removing my shoes. “I didn’t expect you to sound wide awake.”
“I just made it back to the apartment.” We talked about Mrs. Peterson and my hours at the hospital. “How was the bar tonight?”
He yawned into the phone. “Excuse me. It was good, the bar stays packed.”
We were both tired, but if we hung up the phone it’d be almost another full day before we could talk. “Hey, Nick,” I said softly into the phone. “Is this starting to be too hard?”
He didn’t answer, but I could hear him breathing and thought he may have fallen asleep. Then he said, “I hate not being able to see you.” I could hear him shuffling, maybe he was finally climbing into bed. “I just feel like if I’m not at the bar something could go wrong. And I can’t have that happen. I can’t fail.”
“Nick, I get it.” Like he said, he wouldn’t come between me and my career I surely wasn’t going to come between him and his dream. “Think we should take a break for now?” I didn’t want to take a break, but being together was proving to be harder and harder each day we had to be apart.
“Monica, we said we’d work through whatever we needed to work through to make it work.” I sighed because he was right, I did agree to that, but that was when we were both in Sacramento.
“I don’t know how realistic this is for us to have an intermittent relationship. It’d be one thing if we could skip off for the weekend and see each other, but we can barely make that happen.” I moved from the couch to my bedroom. I needed to lay down.
I pulled my scrubs off and climbed on top of my comforter. “If we take a break now, when are we ever supposed to get back together? When my bar is off the ground and running itself? When you are finished with your residency?” He groaned into the phone and I could tell this wasn’t going to be an easy decision, for either of us.
“And if we don’t, then what do we do? Keep trucking along pissing each other off because neither of us has time to make a two-hour trip?” I rolled to my side and a tear fell on my pillow. I hadn’t even realized I had gotten that upset.
“Alright,” he said interrupting my thoughts. “We’ll take a break.” One tear turned to several and before I knew it my pillow was soaked. I sniffled, but away from the phone. I didn’t want him to hear me cry. “Just remember I love you.”
“I love you too,” was the last thing I said to him before we hung up.
Chapter 20
Twenty-three days, that’s how long we’d been on our self-imposed break. We’d gone the entire time without a text, call, email, nothing. The closest thing I had to contact with him was my stalking of the bar’s social media pages. Thanks to them I could see the bar was staying packed. He wasn’t failing.
He was actually winning, big. As I opened my phone to stare at bar pictures, I noticed the newest post with a caption, “San Jose’s hottest new bar—Wine & Whiskey.” I decided not to call him, despite the urge to congratulate him. Hearing his voice would make me want to see him, and even if he had free time, I was on-call, yet again.
Jennifer’s name flashed on my screen and I answered as I continued walking the aisles of the grocery store, aimlessly. “Where are you?” she asked as the store clerk requested help for a price check over the intercom.
“At the grocery store.” She laughed slightly, in the ‘is this bitch crazy’ type of way. “I do have to eat.”
“You sound like the epitome of a Debbie Downer right now. Girl, what’s going on?” Of course she knew about me and Nick, and of course she didn’t approve.
“Being on-call, no man, no personal life.” I took a long, deep breath. “I guess it’s all starting to weigh on me.”
“Okay, look, I know you are an amazing doctor. Like you are going to heal wounds, save lives, and all that, but why torture yourself?” she asked as if there was an alternate choice.
I grabbed a bag of apples and placed them in my cart. “I mean, I don’t know of anything else I could do.”
“I doubt my primary care doctor is ever on-call. Hell, I can only get an appointment with her after nine, and before three, and never on Fridays.” She was ranting. “She has the best schedule imaginable, well aside from my dentist. And that’s a different story.”
“Okay,” I said calmly.
“Instead of delivering babies, where they wait for nobody, how about change specialties?” she said with such confidence. “I mean, if this is going to be life for you, I think you should pass. Life’s too short to be fucking miserable, Monica.” And that made me laugh. I was bent over my cart holding my stomach laughing. “I’m serious,” she added, causing me to laugh even harder.
I gathered myself together and cleared my throat. “You’re right. Anyway, enough of my boring life. What are you up to?”
“Well, I almost feel horrible for calling to tell you after hearing how miserable you sound. Last night…” I already knew what she was about to say from the amount of cheer in her voice. “Aiden proposed,” she squealed.
Of course he did, ‘cause he’s totally in love with her and she’s totally in love with him. “Monica,” she said softly, “I’m so happy, and I want you to be this happy too, one day.”
“Congratulations, girl,” I said as a smile spread across my face. “I’m happy for you. For now, I’m glad to witness all y’all hoes be turned into housewives. I truly am.” I looked in my cart and realized this trip bared no fruit, my aimless roaming produced a bag of apples, crackers, and tampons. I shook my head and made my way to check out. I’d have to try this on a different day.
“Tell me all about the grand proposal,” I said as I scanned my own items at the register.
“He surprised me with a trip to New York on Friday.” I listened as I laughed to myself. These rich dudes have it good, a surprise trip to New York. Must be nice. “After dinner we went to see Hamilton.” Damn, ‘cause a trip to New York wouldn’t be complete without watching Hamilton. “After we strolled through Times Square, by the time we made it to our hotel, I was exhausted.”
“Being rich does sound exha
usting,” I laughed.
“Shut up. Anyway, when we returned to the room, it was decked out with rose petals, and candles, and gifts.”
“Damn, Aiden,” I said as I grabbed my random three items and headed out of the grocery store.
She giggled and continued, “I opened the gifts, and when I got to the last, it was a ring box and he dropped to one knee and asked me to be his forever.”
“Wow.” I started crying, happy tears of course. “Jennifer, I didn’t know he was that romantic.” I should have known though, he did play digital cupid with his DateNight App. “Wait, are you still in New York?” I asked.
“We are, headed home in a few hours.” I congratulated her and rushed her off the phone to enjoy her last few hours in the city.
My apartment was still empty of food because I failed on my grocery store trip, so I grabbed a pile of crackers and sat on my couch. I had a stack of notes to review from the patients I saw the previous week, and needed to dig further into them based on their symptoms. I felt truly sorry for one patient, she was bleeding profusely for weeks. I had to consult Dr. Patel on a treatment plan.
Flipping through my medical book, the stark silence of my apartment was daunting. For the first time, I was bothered by it. I closed my book and decided I was going to take Jennifer’s advice. After all, life was short. I grabbed my phone, and shot an email to Dr. Patel letting her know I’d be late in the morning.
I shouted, “Alexa, play Cardi B,” as I dressed in my scrubs that next morning. I danced around my bathroom thinking about the possibility of having a balance, a personal life, and most of all getting my man back.
Cardi B had me hyped, and I continued blasting her in the car on my way to the clinic. Leigh looked up from her computer and her eyes bulged and her mouth dropped. “Monica.” She stood from her desk. “It’s so good to see you. What are you doing here?” she asked.
“I was hoping to chat with Dr. Slater.” I looked behind her to his open office door. “Is he here?” She nodded her head and directed me to the entrance where she let me in.
“I’ll let him know you’re here,” she said while I waited near her desk. I watched her poke her head into his office then she looked to me and waved me over.
“Thanks,” I whispered to her as she left us alone. Dr. Slater was looking sexy as ever, with a blue button-down shirt that hugged his body. “Dr. Slater…” He invited me to take a seat and I continued, “I won’t take up much of your time. I was wondering if your colleague was still interested in a resident.”
He leaned back in his chair and interlocked his fingers. “I thought you accepted a residency with Dr. Patel, OB, right?” I was certain changing specialties would be frowned upon, but it’d be better than working my whole life in a field where I wasn’t truly happy.
“That’s correct.” I adjusted in my seat. “I understand this change would not be advisable, but I believe it’d be in the best interest of my career and my long-term happiness.”
He scribbled a note on a piece of paper and handed it to me. “Give him a call and be honest, let him know you’re considering changing specialties and would like to be considered for a residency with him.” I reached for the note and thanked him. “Let him know we’ve spoken and I’m fully on board with you changing and would still provide a glowing recommendation.”
“Dr. Slater, I truly appreciate this.”
He held up his hand before I stood to leave. “That’s just one hurdle, you’ll have to break it to Dr. Patel and tell your advisor. Assuming they are both on board, you shouldn’t have an issue.”
“I understand.” I thanked him again and turned to leave his office. “Thanks, Leigh,” I said as I passed her.
The challenges of telling Dr. Patel, my advisor and hoping the pediatric residency was still available all combined were nothing in comparison to hoping Nick would be ready to pick up where we left off, once again.
Chapter 21
I opened the door to Wine & Whiskey, and the images from social media did not even partially depict the liveliness of the bar. Last time I was here, the bar was wrapping up construction and besides the actual bar, the place was empty. Now it was filled with light wood tables, dark leather lounge seats, and gold artwork on the walls. The lighting was much dimmer than the bar in Sacramento where Nick worked.
The place was dripping sophisticated swag, and the jazz band in the corner added to the vibe. I turned my head when I heard the familiar voice, I narrowed my eyes to see the lead singer, and I realized she was the singer from our date the night we went to the jazz club.
I found an empty seat at the end of the bar and grabbed a cocktail menu. The cocktails were crafted by Nick and another mixologist. I wanted to try one of the craft drinks, and although I preferred wine over liquor, the Pumpkin Spiced Jameson sounded worthy of a switch. I looked up from my menu just as a glass was sat in front of me.
“I didn’t expect to see you here,” Cheryl said. The feeling was mutual. I thought she would have been back in Sacramento at the old bar by now.
“I’m finally following the advice of practically everyone around me.” I grabbed the glass of Violetta, and said, “Thank you, I actually wanted to try that Pumpkin Spiced Jameson.”
She cocked her head and said, “Look at you.” She reached for the glass but I held on. “Both?” I nodded my head and took a sip. “Pumpkin Spiced Jameson, right up.”
As I made the drive to San Jose earlier that day, I was more excited about seeing Nick than my meeting with Dr. Seymour. Now that the meeting was over, and I had a start date for my residency, I had room to celebrate.
Cheryl returned with the drink and asked, “Any food?” She handed me the menu and walked away while I looked it over. I planned to stay a while, at least until Nick and I had the chance to talk.
“Is this seat taken?” I looked at the empty seat beside me and shook my head. “How are those drinks?”
“Nick?” I couldn’t believe I didn’t recognize his voice when he first spoke. “It’s so good to see you.” That’s not what I had planned to say, but whatever it was I had planned was out the window the minute I saw his green eyes.
“You too, Monica. You too.” He looked at the two glasses in front of me and said, “When you’re finished it’ll be about time for me to get out of here. Let’s talk then.” I nodded my head and watched him disappear into the crowd.
The Pumpkin Spiced Jameson went down smoothly, and between that and the Violetta, I was feeling cheerful. I waited patiently for Nick to return, and I sang the words I could remember of Anthony Hamilton’s “Never Love Again,” as the band played the melody. My eyes closed and my head began to sway.
I felt an arm wrap around my shoulders and Nick whispered into my ear, “Let’s get out of here.” I opened my eyes and smiled. Before following him out, I laid cash on the bar. “Where’s your car?” he asked as we stepped into the cool night air. I pointed down the lot to my car near his bike. “Follow me,” he said. He grabbed my hand and got me safely into my car before he hopped on the back of his bike.
I remembered his apartment complex from the weekend he moved in, the address was saved in my phone, and his key on my keychain. Months after the last time being here, I smiled at the sight of the complex, it had been too long.
I followed him through the lobby, we entered the elevator and stood separately, without words. It wasn’t until we were safely in his apartment that I spoke again. “Nick,” I said as he sat down his backpack and helmet. He put up his hand as he walked into his bedroom.
He returned, without his leather bike jacket, and said, “Sit with me.” I tried again to speak, but he interrupted me. “Monica, I can’t do this.” My eyes blinked as I heard the words and it felt like the liquor was draining through my pores. My joy was stunted. “I don’t want distance to be a factor. I don’t want lack of time or any other excuse to come between us. I want to be with you.”
“Nick, can I speak?” I asked. He nodded his head and sat back. I r
eached for his hand and kissed the back of his knuckles. “I met with Dr. Seymour today, here in San Jose.” Nick sat forward. “I’m moving here. I want to be with you.”
He closed his eyes, and a tear escaped. I wiped it with the back of my hand. I had been emotional about our relationship, but this was a first for me. Seeing him cry tugged at my heart. He sniffed before kissing my lips and pulling away. “I want to be with you too”—he reached into his pocket—“forever.”
My mouth dropped as the diamond glistened. “How? When?” I asked.
He shook his head. “Let me try that again.” He climbed off the couch and kneeled on one knee. “Dr. Monica White, will you do me the honor of spending the rest of our lives together?”
“Yes,” I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck. We kissed there in the living room until we had undressed each other. He lifted me from the floor and carried me to his bedroom where he laid me on the bed.
We didn’t waste time on the foreplay, he slid on a condom and laid on top of me. “I’ve missed you…” He kissed my nose. “So much.” And he kissed my forehead. While he made love to me, he continued to say, “I love you.”
Unlike all the times before, my body didn’t just quiver when he stroked me into delirium, but my heart burst with love.
Epilogue
“Smile, babe,” I said as I held my phone in front of us. Nick looked into the camera but kissed my cheek instead of smiling. “Okay, we should get back out there, hopefully they are all over the shock by now.”
We walked into the lounge area of Wine & Whiskey, where we had gathered all my girls, Nick’s friends, and our families for our engagement party. The lounge was the perfect setting for us all to be together. We re-arranged the tables and chairs and were able to create an aisle. As everyone gathered in the room, an officiant joined us.