by K. C. Crowne
The old man seemed hesitant, but I quickly continued. “We can go by and meet the dog whenever you’d like, just to make sure you’re a good match. But I think you’re really going to like him.”
“He’s not a yappy, little dog, is he?”
“Oh no,” I chuckled, picturing Oscar in my head. “He’s actually a Great Dane.”
The old man’s face shifted, the hardness and tightness disappearing. He actually smiled. “You know, I’ve always wanted a Great Dane. Such majestic creatures.”
“That they are. He’s beautiful too. He’s a silvery grey, I believe they call the coloring blue?”
“Oh yes, he sounds like a handsome boy.”
And just like that, Calvin was willing to go along with the plan. My smile widened as I pictured Oscar by his side. I trusted Danielle knew what she was doing, and he sounded like the perfect dog for Calvin. Even though I knew that Danielle would be sad to see him leave her home.
Thinking about her washed the smile from my face.
“What?” Calvin asked, noticing my change in expression.
“Nothing,” I said, walking out of the kitchen and toward the living room.
“No, is there something you’re not telling me?” he asked as he slowly followed me.
“No, nothing to do with the dog, I promise,” I said, falling into the leather chair across from the couch that I usually sat in while visiting.
Calvin took the couch, as always. Thankfully, when I’d furnished the place, I’d bought an oversized couch - he would need it when Oscar sat with him.
“Then what’s on your mind, son?” he asked.
He only ever called me son when his paternal instincts kicked in. Which was strange. Most of the time, I was doing what I could to take care of him, but deep down, I could tell Calvin was talking to me like I was his actual son. I knew the old man never had kids, nor was he ever married. All this time together, and I never inquired as to why that was. It hadn’t felt like any of my business, and since he didn’t bring it up, neither did I.
But with everything going on with Danielle, I could use some fatherly advice. My dad was no longer around, and I wasn’t about to go to my brothers. They knew what had happened when I was at war, but they didn’t know all the details - or what it had done to me.
“Were you ever afraid to love someone, Calvin?” I asked.
Calvin looked taken aback. He leaned back into the couch and let out a deep breath. He seemed to think for a long time before answering. “There was a time, yes, but not for the reasons you’re probably thinking.”
“What do you mean?”
Calvin studied my face for a moment before answering. “Hell, you’re a modern man, right? I can trust you with this.”
“Trust me with what?” I asked.
“Well, Mason, let me tell you a little secret - at one time, my type of love was considered illegal, and even today, there are people who would see us hurt or even dead for loving who we do.”
“You’re gay?” I asked, curious.
“I am, yes,” he said. “Does that surprise you?”
I thought about it. “Not really, I guess. It would explain why you’ve never been married.”
“That would by why, yes. In my time, you couldn’t talk about that stuff openly and all that.”
“Yeah, I bet…I’m sorry to hear that.” Suddenly, my own problems seemed so far away.
“But still, I can’t say I was ever afraid to love for love’s sake. Meaning I wasn’t worried about being hurt by love. Life is full of ups and downs, and yes, sometimes you’ll get hurt, but I always knew I was strong enough to pick myself back up and move on.”
“So were you ever in love?”
A smile flickered across the old man’s face, and his eyes seemed distant for a second, as if he was no longer in the living, but in another time and place. “Oh yeah. A few times, but I believe we all have that one great love, and mine was Steve Jeffries. We served side-by-side in ‘Nam, and if the others knew how we felt about one another, they didn’t make it known.”
My heart clenched up. He too knew what it was like to fall in love with someone at war. My mouth was parched, and I couldn’t seem to form the words to ask him what happened. I feared the worst based on my own experiences.
Thankfully, I didn’t have to ask for any details, Calvin continued on his own.
“Steve came from a conservative Catholic family, and once he returned home, he wrote to me and told me that as much as he loved me, it was a sin for us to be together and that he was going to marry a nice girl in town that his parents approved of. He said it would make life easier.”
Calvin’s face fell, and I ached for the man. I knew what it was like to have that person you loved above all else ripped away from you.
“I’m sorry,” I said, my voice cracking.
Calvin looked at me as if he saw me for the very first time. “I sense that you lost someone you love too?”
“I did,” I said slowly. “Her name was Katie. She was a military nurse working under me in Afghanistan.”
I stared down at my hands before clenching my eyes shut, which was a terrible idea. As soon as I did, I saw Katie’s lifeless body in my head. Blood had spilled all over the ground around her, and her eyes were open and blank as she stared into the unknown.
“What happened?” Calvin asked me softly.
“She—” I could never bring myself to say that she was dead. I chose a different phrasing instead. “There was an attack on our base one night. I was off and a few buddies and I were drinking in the desert, something we shouldn’t have been doing anyway. Had I been on base when that happened, I might have been able to…” My eyes popped open, and I knew they were red from the tears trying to fall.
“Damn, son,” he sympathized. “And I thought my tale was tragic. But let me tell you something - you can’t blame yourself.”
“Yes, I can. I was the best damned medic they had. I could have saved her and countless others, had I been there.”
“Mason, you couldn’t have predicted the future. You couldn’t have known. And even if you were there, who’s to say you wouldn’t have been blown up too?”
That’s exactly what my brothers had told me. That’s what everyone told me. Hell, maybe it was even true.
I was a dumb twenty-something. I had no idea that death could happen so quickly. That in one second, your entire world could just be gone.
“I wasn’t there for her,” I mumbled, my voice not sounding like my own. “I failed her.”
And I knew that I would likely fail anyone I ever dated. Which was why I never dated. Which was why I couldn’t date Danielle. I couldn’t be trusted to protect her, to always be there for her. And it wasn’t just her life either - but her daughter’s as well.
Calvin was saying something else, but my head was spinning. I didn’t hear a word of it. I pushed myself to my feet and said, “I have to go. We can go visit the dog tomorrow, if you’d like.”
I rushed out of his house and walked quickly to my truck.
It had been so long since I’d thought about Katie. I had tried to push any and all thoughts of her out of my head. There was nothing I could do. I couldn’t go back and change the outcome of that night.
But I could make sure that I never, ever let something like that happen again.
I wouldn’t fail another woman. Much less a woman and her daughter.
Tomorrow at eleven work for you?
I was sitting in my truck outside my place, waiting on Danielle’s response. After the run-in with her ex, I wanted to be sure that I scheduled a good time to come by. Especially since Calvin would be with me.
She responded quickly.
That’s perfect. See you and Calvin then.
What would it be like to see her after the night before in my truck? After we’d had sex, she hurried and left, muttering, “This can’t happen again”. She had scanned the parking lot with a paranoid glance before slipping into her car and driving away.
And this is why I shouldn’t have slept with her, I thought. Because doing so made things awkward for us, and we had a job to do.
But I’d have to overcome the awkwardness. There was no way around it. I’d made the decision to get Calvin a dog to help him, and Danielle was the best trainer in the area. I wasn’t backing out now.
I stepped out of the truck and walked into the house just as Eli was heading out.
“Hey, man, don’t forget we have Tucker White coming tomorrow.”
I flinched. Dammit. “What time again?”
“10:30 in the morning.”
“Fuck,” I said out loud.
Eli’s gaze narrowed and he crossed his arms in front of his chest. “What?”
“I have something to do at eleven tomorrow.”
“Seriously, Mason? What’s her name?”
“What are you talking about?”
“The girl you’re choosing over your family,” he accused. “She must be pretty special to pull you out of your dry spell at last.”
“It wasn’t a fucking dry spell, man. And you know it.”
He knew about Katie. Maybe he didn’t know all the details, but he knew why I didn’t date and why I had no desire to get into a long-term relationship.
“Sure, well, obviously you’re in an oasis of pussy now, bro.”
His complete dismissal of everything I’d gone through pushed me over the edge. I slammed Eli up against the wall, holding him by his shoulders.
“What the hell is your problem?” Eli asked, pushing me back. He was strong enough to hold his own against me. I let him go at the same time, realizing what I’d done, and stumbled backward.
Eli came toward me, his fists balled up at his sides. My fists were also balled, ready to throw down if it came to that. I was never much of a fighter, especially with my brothers, but the thought of Katie lingered in my head, the pain almost as fresh as the day she’d died.
“What’s going on?” Graham’s voice stopped us both.
I looked over my shoulder to find him walking toward the house. My older brother was as large as the rest of us, over six feet of muscle. He and Sam were twins, but not completely identical.
Graham was also the leader of our merry band of brothers. He was usually the one holding us together, but lately, he was caught up in his own little world. He had a baby on the way and less time to spend on the family business.
“Nothing, man,” Eli muttered, pushing past me as he stomped down the stairs. “I’m outta here. I have to pick up some equipment for a job next week. A job I'm working alone.”
Eli glared at me before getting into his truck. Graham met me on the stairs.
“What’s his deal?” he asked as Eli peeled out of the driveway.
“He feels like we’re not devoted enough to the business,” I said softly.
“Sam and I have some stuff going on right now, but we’re still devoted,” Graham defended.
“I know, so am I. I just have some stuff too.”
“Oh yeah?” Graham gave me a sideways glance.
“Yeah,” I said, and left it at that.
Ooo000ooo
“It’s so nice to finally meet you,” Danielle said as she opened the door for us. She smiled brightly at Calvin, her blue eyes barely looking in my direction.
Calvin shook her hand. “The pleasure is all mine, dear.”
“Come on in, you two,” she said, motioning for us to step inside. “Would you like something to drink? I have coffee, tea, water, soda, you name it.”
“A coffee would be great,” Calvin said. “Black. No sugar or cream necessary.”
“Alrighty then, just have a seat right here, and I’ll get you a coffee. Mason?” She finally turned those baby blues my direction.
“Yes?”
“Would you like anything?” Her smile had faded, and she averted her gaze as soon as I looked at her. There’s that awkwardness, I thought to myself.
“Uh, no thank you, I’m fine.”
“Just one sec,” she said, stepping out of the living room and into the kitchen down the hall. I could hear her moving around, opening cabinets, the sound of glass on the counter.
Calvin had taken a seat in a nearby chair. There was only the couch left, which would mean I’d be sitting next to Danielle if we both sat, and I feared she might stand if I took a seat. So I stood near the fireplace, checking out the pictures above the mantle. They were mostly of Skyler, including some of when she was a baby. There was one where Danielle was holding a newborn Skyler, and she was smiling so brightly and staring down at her child with such love in her eyes. She was one hell of a mother.
Speaking of the devil… A tiny voice came from down the hall. “Mama, is he here?”
“Yes, honey.” Danielle’s voice lowered as if she was trying to whisper. “But we’re busy. Mason is here with his friend. They came to meet Oscar, like we talked about.”
“But Mommy—I want to show him something.”
I smiled, my heart warming at the thought of that little girl excited to see me. She was a sweet little thing. I turned around and walked toward the hallway. I poked my head around the corner just as Danielle was coming down with the coffee.
Skyler saw me and grinned at me. “Mason!”
“Hey there, Skyler,” I said with a wave.
She rushed past her mom, nearly knocking her down, and before I knew what hit me, she wrapped herself around my legs, hugging me tightly. Danielle frowned at me.
“I told her this was a business meeting.”
“I just wanted to say hello,” I said softly.
Danielle still didn’t look too pleased with me, but her daughter hugging my legs caused her to sigh, her face softening.
“Can I show you something?” she asked.
“Sure, but let’s make it quick. Your mom’s right. We’re here for business.”
Skyler nodded, her pigtails bouncing wildly. She took my big hand in her tiny one and led me down the hallway.
“Skyler, where are you going?” Danielle asked a little grumpily.
“In the kitchen.” She pulled me over to the refrigerator and pointed to a photo held there with a magnet. “I drew this.”
The colorful scribbles were hard to make out at first - there were three stick figures and a bunch of blobs in varying colors.
“That’s Mommy,” she said, pointing to a stick figure wearing purple. “That’s me in pink, my favorite color, and that’s you.” She pointed at a tall stick figure colored blue.
I had never been speechless in all my life, not like I was in that moment. A lump formed in my throat as I realized that she had drawn me beside her family. She hardly knew me, but somehow, I had made a connection with her. I didn’t know what to say.
Thankfully, Danielle interrupted us. “Come on, honey,” she said softly. “Mason needs to come into the living room.”
“Can I be there too?”
“If you promise to be good.”
“I do!” Skyler made a beeline for the living room.
“I’m sorry if I did something wrong. I really just wanted to say hi.”
Danielle’s face was blank, as if she was intentionally trying to mask her emotions. “It’s fine. I would just prefer if we kept things more professional from now on, that’s all. And that includes with my daughter. I don’t want her getting any ideas about us.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I didn’t think about it.”
“It’s okay. We’ll just need to be better from now on.”
She turned on her heels, and I followed her to the living room. Already, we could hear Skyler in the living room talking to Calvin. I’d never asked the man about his feelings on kids, so I hoped she wasn’t bothering him. But as we turned the corner, it was clear he wasn’t bothered at all. He was actually smiling as she listed off all the pets they owned.
“And of course, Oscar, but Mommy says you’re taking him.” Her voice held a hint of sadness. “But Mommy says he’ll be able to he
lp someone. And we can bring another dog into our home.”
Danielle sat down beside her on the sofa, wrapping an arm over her shoulder.
“It doesn’t make you too sad to be giving away Oscar?” Calvin asked softly.
“I’m a little sad, but it’s the right thing to do.”
Danielle interjected. “We rescue dogs and cats all the time and provide temporary homes for them. Skyler knows the drill, that sometimes these animals move to other homes - we’re just an in-between for them until they can find their forever place.”
Calvin looked a little sad as he stared at Skyler. I thought he might even say they could keep the dog, but little Skyler spoke before he could say anything.
“You’ll take good care of him, won’t you?”
“Of course I will.” His voice cracked.
“And maybe I can visit him?” Her eyes grew wide with hope.
“Skyler, we—” Danielle started to say.
Calvin spoke over her. “Of course you can, sweetie. Anytime you want. In fact, I’d love the company. Hardly anyone visits me anymore, besides Mason.”
Skyler’s face brightened with a smile so bright it lit the room. “We’ll visit you, won’t we, Mommy?”
Danielle looked as if she were caught between a rock and a boulder, but she eventually said, “As long as Mr. Forester approves. We can talk about this later, honey. Right now, let’s see how Oscar and Mr. Forester gets along, alright?”
“Can I let him in?” Skyler said.
“Sure,” Danielle said, standing up with her daughter. “But I’ll be right behind you.”
Skyler and Danielle hurried to the back door. I noticed Calvin watching me, a bemused look on his face.
“What?”
“They seem like a sweet family,” he commented slyly.
“Yes, they do,” I agreed warily, eyeing him.
“And you and Danielle - you’re just, friends?” Calvin raised an eyebrow.
“We are. We met when I was looking for a dog for you.”
“I see the way you look at her, son,” he said with a little chuckle. “And she looks at you the same way.”
“What do you mean?”