by Ian Doescher
© 2021 MARVEL
All rights reserved. Except as authorized under U.S. copyright law, no part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.
Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data
Doescher, Ian, author.
Avengers : the complete works / by Ian Doescher.
Summary: “A Shakespearean adaptation of the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s Avengers films”—Provided by publisher.
LCSH: Shakespeare, William, 1564-1616—Parodies, imitations, etc. | Avengers (Fictitious characters)—Drama.
LCC PS3604.O3419 A98 2021 | DDC 813.6—dc23 2020047604
ISBN 9781683692072
Ebook ISBN 9781683692089
Typeset in Origami, Knockout, & Bank Gothic
Designed by Ryan Hayes
Illustrations by Danny Schlitz
Production management by John J. McGurk
Quirk Books
215 Church Street
Philadelphia, PA 19106
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For all the kids: June, Sophie, Caroline, Mae, Mari, Isaac, Rose, Paige, Blaise, Augusta, Khaliah, Joseph, Isabella, Lottie, James, Kevin, Maggie, Ellie, Bryony, Jay, Ruby—ye Avengers small, assemble!
Contents
Cover
Copyright
Dedication
Title Page
Part I. Assemble, Ye Avengers
List of Illustrations
Dramatis Personae
Prologue
Act I
Act II
Act III
Act IV
Act V
Part II. Lo, The Age of Ultron
List of Illustrations
Dramatis Personae
Prologue
Act I
Act II
Act III
Act IV
Act V
Part III. Infinity War’s Tale
List of Illustrations
Dramatis Personae
Prologue
Act I
Act II
Act III
Act IV
Act V
Part IV. The Endgame’s Afoot
List of Illustrations
Dramatis Personae
Prologue
Act I
Act II
Act III
Act IV
Act V
Afterword
Acknowledgments
Sonnet 3000
About the Author
LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS
“Thou hast much heart, and I shall give thee more.”
“Director Fury, all is clear’d above.
I bid you, leave.”
“From thy mouth to my bones!”
“All stand down.
We need not black ops, all is well herein.”
“ ’Tis call’d an Everlast, but lasteth not
Against the hurt that ever is Steve Rogers’s.”
“The perfect stratagem shall come to pass,
When flaw’d and fragile S.H.I.E.L.D. we shall outclass.”
“Envision how the ship lifts to the sky—
Upon its bulk and strength S.H.I.E.L.D. doth rely.”
“When last I was in Germany, thou rogue,
And saw a man stand up above the rest,
The two of us were in grave disagreement.”
“Wouldst thou have me put down the hammer, yea?”
“My purpose, though, is to safeguard the good—
’Tis why I was entrusted with such pow’rs.”
“Thou art a monster, sent from blackest hell.”
“In my worst nightmares, in the darkest hours,
Ne’er did my soul imagine such a beast.”
“These were in Coulson’s doublet when he died—
He never did get you to sign them, Captain.”
“You fell forth from the sky. Yea, thus you did!”
“I call the power of the very sky—
The fulguration of a shocking light.”
“Ye foes who would to evil ope the door,
Be wary—thither comes the mighty Thor!”
“Stand we at the ready: your Avengers!”
“A puny god.”
“I fire to give the strong Avengers time,
I fire in hope of ev’rything I stand for!”
DRAMATIS PERSONAE
chorus
tony stark, Iron Man
steve rogers, Captain America
thor, a god of Asgard
loki, a god of Asgard, a rogue
bruce banner, The Hulk
natasha romanoff, Black Widow
clint barton, Hawkeye
nick fury, Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.
phil coulson, an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.
maria hill, an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.
pepper potts, proprietor of Stark Industries
jarvis, Stark’s automaton
dr. erik selvig, a scientist
S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel, soldiers, thugs, police officers, leviathans, and citizens of New York
PROLOGUE
The New World.
ENTER CHORUS.
CHORUS
In reverie, our author—long ago—
Relaxèd by the Avon’s gentle flow,
On some June day, as restful sunlight rose;
Noon pass’d to one, and he began to doze.
Mayhap his dreams and waking were confus’d, 5
And in that state with thoughts he was infus’d.
New notions grew within his mind sincere
That brought him to this story ye shall hear.
He conjur’d people of uncommon skill,
Each one with talents, courage, and goodwill. 10
In thinking of the Avon, words did twist—
Now came the word avenge into the list.
Confounded by this dream, he took a quill,
Resolvèd to create a world from nil.
Each character he’d introduce in turn, 15
Detailing how each one did grow and learn.
Immed’tely the characters were fashion’d—
Behold one Tony Stark, a man impassion’d,
Last heir unto his father’s factories.
Engross’d and caught midst wartime’s miseries, 20
He did create the suit of Iron Man—
Uncouth and yet heroic was his plan.
Lo, then Bruce Banner came with verdant bulk—
Kept neath a curse, in anger he is Hulk.
Increasingly the army sought his pow’r— 25
Responding to how he o’er them did tow’r,
One equal unto Hulk the army made.
Ne’er was such damage as those two convey’d.
More tales of Stark our author did compose,
And how a rival—Ivan Vanko—rose, 30
Nam’d Iron Man the target of his rage,
Then came with mighty weapons to engage.
When Justin Hammer aid to Vanko lends,
Our Stark is nearly beat, ’til help’d by friends.
The earth was, for our bard, but the beginning— 35
His bold invention into space went spinning.
Once there, new planets did his mind pursue,
Revealing Asgard’s brilliance to our view.
Came thence a god nam’d Thor, exil’d to earth,
Asham’d until his honor found rebirth. 40
Past oceans, to the New World, went our bard,
To show Steve Rogers, lad by weakness marr’d.
A genius, Erskine, saw the youth’s potential,
Increas’d his strength, ’til Rogers was essential.
Now all by Cap’n America were led, 45
Afore he fell into a freezing bed.
More characters were call’d to freedom’s jury,
E’en Coulson, Barton, Romanoff, and Fury.
Rehearse we now the story of these few,
In one play, they shall share a rendezvous— 50
Converging in our humble author’s mind
And on this stage, their superpow’rs combin’d!
[Exit Chorus.
SCENE 1
Deep space, and the S.H.I.E.L.D. base.
ENTER THE OTHER ABOVE, ON BALCONY.
THE OTHER
Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this Tesseract—
The task for which we have been sent and made
Shall be prov’d clear in fact and promise both.
The Tesseract hath been awakenèd. 5
’Tis on a little world, a human one.
Most gladly would they wield its widespread pow’r—
Our allies, though, know well its potency
As those vexatious humans never shall.
The one who hath been sent is prim’d to lead. 10
Our force, Chitauri, followeth him still.
A world entire shall soon be his to rule,
Whilst all the universe is ours to take.
And humans? Fie! What shall they do but burn?
[Exit The Other.
ENTER SOLDIERS AND OTHER S.H.I.E.L.D. PERSONNEL, EVACUATING THE S.H.I.E.L.D. BASE. ENTER NICK FURY, PHIL COULSON, AND MARIA HILL.
SOLDIER 1
[on speaker:] All personnel, evacuate anon! 15
[General pandemonium.
FURY
[to Coulson:] How bad is it? How swiftly grows the
storm?
COULSON
Would that we were prognosticators, sir.
Alas, ’tis just the problem—we know not.
Our Doctor Selvig register’d a surge
Of energy that, like a gath’ring cloud, 20
Burst from the Tesseract mere hours ago.
FURY
Yet NASA authoriz’d no test, ’tis true?
COULSON
’Twas not a test. He was not e’en therein,
Within the room—it was spontaneous.
HILL
To plainly speak: it did awake itself? 25
FURY
The energy? How are its levels?
COULSON
—Rising,
Like a barometer when tempests pass.
When Selvig could not shut the object down,
Evacuation soon became the order.
FURY
How long until each person may fly hence? 30
COULSON
Methinks the next half hour should see us clear.
FURY
Do better or we may be doom’d.
COULSON
—At once.
[Exit Phil Coulson.
HILL
Evacuation may be futile, sir.
FURY
We should, instead, bid it go back to sleep?
HILL
If th’energy of the blue Cube cannot 35
Controllèd be, a minimum safe distance
May not exist. What, sir, shall we then do?
FURY
Be sure the phase two prototypes are shipp’d.
HILL
Is this your answer, your priority?
FURY
Until such time as all the world doth end, 40
We shall behave as though it spinneth on.
Clear out the tech below, each phase two piece
Upon a cart and gone.
HILL
—It shall be done.
[Exit Maria Hill.
FURY
This scene doth not unfold as I had hop’d—
The Tesseract hath been a boon to S.H.I.E.L.D., 45
With promises of better, stronger tools
To keep us safe from ev’ry enemy.
Yet if there is disturbance in the Cube—
Some force that works upon it from afar,
Or mayhap its own instability— 50
Our plans shall quickly turn to dust and ash.
S.H.I.E.L.D.’s interests I shall protect and serve,
E’en in the face of power such as this.
ENTER ERIK SELVIG, WORKING WITH THE TESSERACT.
Good doctor, make report.
SELVIG
—Director, sir.
FURY
Is aught we know for sure?
SELVIG
—The Tesseract 55
Doth misbehave an ’twere a naughty child.
FURY
Art thou in jest?
SELVIG
—Nay, by my troth—no jest.
The Tesseract is active and behaving—
Behaving like a living being, sir.
FURY
Didst thou, then, pull her plug?
SELVIG
—She’s energy 60
Itself, a source of pow’r. We turn it off,
Yet she doth, like the sunrise, bring it back.
Were she t’achieve peak level—
FURY
—We prepar’d
For all the complications that arise
When we do harness energy from space. 65
SELVIG
Yet we’ve no harness for this bucking mare.
My calculations yet are incomplete.
Meanwhile, she throweth interference off,
And radiation, lower gamma levels.
FURY
Which could be worse than any heat wave, yea? 70
Where’s Agent Barton?
SELVIG
—You refer to th’Hawk?
Above, perch’d in his nest, where he belongeth.
ENTER CLINT BARTON ABOVE, ON BALCONY.
FURY
Swift Agent Barton, come make thy report.
[Barton slides a rope down to Fury.
This detail I did give thee for thine eyes,
Which see through any fog or squall or maelstrom. 75
Thou wert suppos’d to keep a view hereon.
BARTON
Mine eagle eyes see better from a distance.
FURY
Hast aught seen that may set this Cube ablaze?
BARTON
None come or take wing on my careful watch,
And Selvig is reliable, it seems. 80
No messengers or contacts hither come.
If tampering hath started this downpour,
’Twas not at this end.
FURY
—At this end? What mean’st?
BARTON
The Cube is but a doorway into space—
The other end of space, beyond all flight. 85
Was ever door that op’d but from one side?
SELVIG
Beware, th
e Tesseract doth surge again!
THEY WATCH AS THE TESSERACT EMITS ENERGY AND OPENS A PORTAL. ENTER LOKI THROUGH THE PORTAL.
FURY
[to Loki:] I bid you, sir, please set aside your spear.
[Loki looks at the scepter in his hand, then aims a blast from it toward Fury. Barton pushes Fury out of the way. Guards approach, firing their weapons, and many are killed by Loki.
LOKI
[aside:] If ye’d not brought me hither, to this place,
I’d not have sent them thither, to their deaths. 90
[To Barton:] Thou hast much heart, and I shall give thee
more.
[Loki presses his scepter against Barton’s chest, and some of its energy is released inside Barton. Barton becomes submissive to Loki’s power. Loki does the same to Guard 1. Fury takes the Tesseract and puts it into a case.
FURY
[aside:] I’ll hide the Cube and get it hence at once!
LOKI
Please do not so; I do have need thereof.
FURY
This scene need not be any messier.
LOKI
Yea, but it doth. Ha! Thou art wondrous wrong. 95
Too far I’ve come for aught else. I am Loki,
Of Asgard, burden’d with a purpose just
And right—most glor’ous.
SELVIG
—Loki, kin to Thor?
FURY
We have no quarrel with your mighty people.
LOKI
An ant hath neither quarrel with a boot, 100
And yet the large may stamp upon the small.
FURY
Have you come hither but to step on us?
LOKI
I come with tidings glad—a world made free,
No longer bound.
FURY
—Yet free from what?
LOKI
—E’en freedom,
Which is life’s greatest lie. Once thou dost know 105
That truth, within thy heart, thou shalt know peace.
[Loki presses his scepter against Selvig’s chest, releasing its energy inside Selvig. Selvig becomes submissive to Loki’s power.
FURY