William Shakespeare's Avengers

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William Shakespeare's Avengers Page 4

by Ian Doescher


  ’Twas much ado when thou wert found in ice, 35

  Thy chances dim. Methought our Coulson swoon’d.

  Hath he ask’d thee to sign his trading cards,

  Which bear the face of Cap’n America?

  ROGERS

  Art serious? They did make trading cards?

  ROMANOFF

  A vintage product of a dreary time— 40

  Of his collection Coulson’s passing proud.

  ENTER BRUCE BANNER.

  ROGERS

  Good Doctor Banner, I presume?

  BANNER

  —Well met.

  A great report was made of thine arrival.

  ROGERS

  ’Tis said thou art the man to find the Cube.

  BANNER

  Yea? Are no broader whispers spoken of me? 45

  ROGERS

  ’Tis only that about which I do care.

  BANNER

  My thanks. It must be wondrous strange for thee,

  These mighty vessels, this technology.

  ROGERS

  Of aught I’ve seen, this is the most familiar.

  ROMANOFF

  My gentles, ye may find it prudent to 50

  Take shelter in the shadows of the hull.

  Our fortune on the sea is out of breath—

  To put it plain: soon breathing shall grow harder.

  SOLDIER 1

  [on speaker:] Flight crew, secure the deck for our ascent.

  [The helicarrier begins to change shape.

  ROGERS

  Is this a submarine?

  BANNER

  —They’d trust my bulk 55

  Submerg’d in metal, pressuriz’d containers?

  ROMANOFF

  [aside:] Their suppositions dimly grasp the matter.

  ENTER CHORUS, ON BALCONY.

  CHORUS

  Too limited, the powers of our stage—

  Imagine engines, from the sea, engage!

  Such wonders scientific ye shall see, 60

  Transforming massive vessels instantly.

  Envision how the ship lifts to the sky—

  Upon its bulk and strength S.H.I.E.L.D. doth rely,

  As it becomes a mighty, flying den—

  I’d draw it for ye, if I’d but a pen. 65

  [Exit Chorus.

  BANNER

  Nay, this is vastly worse than I imagin’d.

  EVERYTHING ON DECK IS SECURED. ALL RETREAT INSIDE THE SHIP. ENTER NICK FURY, PHIL COULSON, AND MARIA HILL.

  HILL

  All systems operating fully charg’d,

  Emergency decorum in effect.

  [To Fury:] We are at level, sir.

  FURY

  —’Tis well. Now vanish.

  HILL

  Engaging our reflection panels, sir. 70

  [The ship is cloaked, taking on the appearance of the sky around it.

  FURY

  Good gentlemen, I bid ye welcome both.

  [Rogers hands Fury a ten-ducat bill.

  ROGERS

  [aside:] Just recompense for wagers swiftly won.

  FURY

  Wise Doctor Banner, many thanks for coming.

  [They shake hands.

  BANNER

  And thanks to thee for asking with great tact.

  How long, then, shall I stay?

  FURY

  —Once we acquire 75

  The Tesseract, your wings are free to fly.

  BANNER

  How goes the massive search?

  COULSON

  —Each instrument

  Available—created by keen minds,

  The innovation of the human race

  Now brought to bear within technology— 80

  We do employ for our most earnest search.

  E’en now we sweep each camera that may

  Be access’d wirelessly across the globe

  To find the thing—wherever they are found.

  If ’tis connected to a satellite, 85

  It hath become our newfound eyes and ears.

  ROMANOFF

  We have not time enow to find them in

  Whatever murky corner they have hid.

  BANNER

  Your search is too enormous, verily—

  The search must focus, be more limited. 90

  Spectrometers—how many do ye have?

  FURY

  How many are there?

  BANNER

  —Call the largest labs

  And have them place spectrometers on th’roof

  And calibrate their search for gamma rays.

  I shall create a tracking algorithm 95

  With basic cluster recognition in’t.

  We may, at least, rule out one place or two.

  Is there, pray, somewhere I may sit and work?

  FURY

  I bid thee, Agent Romanoff, take thou

  The doctor to his lab’ratory, please. 100

  ROMANOFF

  Thou shalt enjoy it, Doc—the finest toys

  Would lighten e’en the gloomiest of moods.

  [Exeunt Natasha Romanoff and Bruce Banner.

  COULSON

  [to Rogers:] Resuming what I ask’d of you before—

  I would request you sign my trading cards

  If ’tis no trouble—

  ROGERS

  —Nay, I do assure thee. 105

  COULSON

  A vintage set, near mint, which I amass’d

  For some two years ere I acquir’d them all.

  Slight foxing round the edges, yet a trove—

  SOLDIER 1

  The sensors, Agent Coulson, have found Loki!

  A hit—percentage sixty-seven, sir. 110

  Nay, cross-match—sev’nty-nine.

  COULSON

  —Location, sirrah?

  SOLDIER 1

  Near Stuttgart, Germany. The address is

  On Königstrasse, number twenty-eight.

  It seems he hides not.

  FURY

  [to Rogers:] —Captain, you are chos’n.

  ROGERS

  To Stuttgart, then, upon my first assignment— 115

  Where hope shall be unshackl’d from confinement.

  [Exeunt.

  SCENE 2

  Stuttgart Museum, Schäfer Sicherheitdienst, and the S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier.

  ENTER LOKI, DRESSED IN MODERN CLOTHING WITH HIS SCEPTER, AMONG MANY GALA GUESTS AND A SCIENTIST AT STUTTGART MUSEUM.

  LOKI

  Distraction was the word from Barton’s mouth,

  Which I shall render to him in the height.

  Appear in public dress’d like any other,

  And S.H.I.E.L.D. shall go to any depth to seize me.

  ENTER TWO GUARDS ASIDE, AT THE SCHäFER SICHERHEITDIENST BUILDING. ENTER CLINT BARTON WITH TWO SOLDIERS, HIDDEN.

  BARTON

  A flock of guards shall not impede my purpose. 5

  [He shoots the guards with his bow and arrows, and they die. He places a device in front of the optical scanner on the doors of the building.

  LOKI

  Now let the revels start and waiting end.

  [He strikes a security guard with his scepter. He attacks the scientist with an optical scanning device. Guests run in fear and dismay.

  Ah, chaos! How I love thy jarring airs.

  And havoc, thy twin brother, singing sweetly.

  This strange device shall render this man’s eye

  On that selfsame device that Barton hath— 10

  One eyeball, here, unlocketh yonder doors.

  [The door to Sch�
�fer Sicherheitdienst opens.

  BARTON

  The scan is made that we may make our entrance.

  Fly, mighty men—iridium awaiteth!

  [Exeunt Barton and soldiers. Loki walks outside the museum, transforming into his armor and helmet.

  ENTER SEVERAL POLICE OFFICERS IN CARS.

  LOKI

  Ye peasants, kneel before me! Bend your knees!

  [Guests slowly kneel.

  Is not this simpler? ’Tis your nat’ral state. 15

  Th’unspoken truth about humanity:

  Unnat’rally you long for subjugation.

  The lure of freedom lessens your life’s joy

  As ye do madly scramble ’bout for pow’r,

  Identity. Ye were made to be rul’d. 20

  Eventually, ye shall always kneel.

  [A man arises from his knees.

  MAN

  Nay, not to men like you. We must take sides.

  Neutral’ty helps oppressors, ne’er the victim,

  And silence aids tormentors, ne’er tormented.

  LOKI

  There are no men like me, and neither women. 25

  MAN

  There e’er were men like you, and e’er shall be—

  Those who would ply their villainy and hatred

  On those less pow’rful than themselves. It is

  A story old and unoriginal.

  You bring no revolution—you bring sameness. 30

  LOKI

  Look to your elder, younger citizens,

  For he shall serve as mine example true.

  LOKI ATTEMPTS TO SHOOT THE MAN. ENTER STEVE ROGERS IN HIS CAPTAIN AMERICA SUIT, BLOCKING THE BLAST WITH HIS SHIELD. THE BLAST FALLS BACK UPON LOKI.

  ROGERS

  When last I was in Germany, thou rogue,

  And saw a man stand up above the rest,

  The two of us were in grave disagreement. 35

  LOKI

  The soldier, come to save civilian lives.

  Who was from ocean’s depth untimely ripp’d,

  Man out of time—

  ROGERS

  —’Tis thee art out of time.

  ENTER NATASHA ROMANOFF AND A PILOT INSIDE A S.H.I.E.L.D. SHIP.

  ROMANOFF

  I bid thee, drop thy fiery weapon, Loki.

  [Loki fires at the ship. The pilot dodges his shot. Rogers throws his shield at Loki and attacks him.

  ROGERS

  [aside:] My shield hath struck, but barely makes a mark! 40

  LOKI

  A man too weak for one as strong as I!

  [They fight.

  ROGERS

  [aside:] Alack, thus might I overpower’d be.

  [Loki subdues Rogers.

  LOKI

  Resistance is most pitiful, indeed—

  Upon thy knees in grave submission kneel!

  ROGERS

  Today it must not be! I’ve still some fight. 45

  [Rogers jumps and kicks Loki. They continue to fight.

  ROMANOFF

  The dark god’s strength is ev’rywhere, it seems.

  ENTER TONY STARK IN HIS IRON MAN SUIT.

  STARK

  Is it too late to join this merry party?

  Mine Agent Romanoff, hast thou miss’d me?

  [Loud music begins playing everywhere as Stark overrides the museum’s computer systems. Stark flies in, shooting at Loki and hurting him.

  ’Tis thy move, Reindeer Games. One thing is sure:

  Thy beating shall go down in history. 50

  [Loki transforms into normal clothing, surrendering.

  Well chosen.

  ROGERS

  —Master Stark, thou art well met.

  STARK

  In faith, our meeting’s overdue, good Captain.

  [They take Loki, who is silent, into Romanoff’s ship and bind him.

  ENTER NICK FURY ABOVE, ON BALCONY, TALKING VIA RADIO.

  FURY

  The villain—hath he spoken to ye yet?

  ROMANOFF

  No word—his mien appeareth dark as soot.

  FURY

  Deliver him, for time is running short. 55

  [Exit Nick Fury.

  ROGERS

  [to Stark:] I like not this. Surrender came too swift.

  STARK

  Indeed, the Rock of Ages giving up

  With unexpected ease?

  ROGERS

  —Tut, ’twas not easy—

  In fisticuffs the man doth pack a wallop.

  STARK

  Impressive was it—for an elder thou 60

  Art spry. Hurrah for senior citizens!

  What is thy trick? Pilates?

  ROGERS

  —Pull-what-ees?

  STARK

  It is like calisthenics, with more gas.

  Thou miss’d some trends whilst thou wert Capsicle.

  ROGERS

  [aside:] A man of constant jest, but wanting humor. 65

  [To Stark:] Strange—Fury told me not he call’d thee in.

  STARK

  In time thou shalt discover, as have I,

  That there is plenty Fury tells thee not.

  [A storm arises.

  ROMANOFF

  How gloomy turns the weather, yet wherefrom?

  [Loki flinches.

  ROGERS

  Art frighten’d of some little lightning, lout? 70

  LOKI

  ’Tis not what leads—I do not like what follows.

  ENTER THOR, ATOP THE S.H.I.E.L.D. SHIP. STARK OPENS THE BACK HATCH.

  ROGERS

  What art thou doing, Stark?

  [Thor enters, knocking Stark aside. Thor grabs Loki and jumps out of the ship with him.

  STARK

  —In walks this fellow,

  Now we must also deal with him anon.

  ROMANOFF

  Another bleak Asgardian, think ye?

  ROGERS

  The guy’s a friendly? Zounds!

  STARK

  —It matters not: 75

  An he should free or murder Loki, either,

  The Tesseract is lost to us fore’er.

  ROGERS

  We need a thoughtful plan to make attack.

  STARK

  I have a plan: attack. Is not that simpler?

  [Stark jumps out of the ship after Thor and Loki. Rogers sighs and picks up a parachute.

  ROMANOFF

  Stand down for this encounter dang’rous, Captain. 80

  ROGERS

  Nay, I must not.

  ROMANOFF

  —These fellows fanciful

  Are born of legend, nearly gods are they.

  ROGERS

  There is but one God, ma’am, and he doth not

  Attire himself in such designs as those.

  [Rogers jumps from the ship. Exeunt Natasha Romanoff and pilot, in ship. Below, Thor throws Loki to the ground.

  THOR

  [to Loki:] Foul Loki, speak: where is the Tesseract? 85

  LOKI

  I miss’d thee also, brother, e’en as much

  As any sister, mother, father, child.

  THOR

  Doth it appear I’m in a jesting mood?

  LOKI

  Thou shouldst be thanking me. With Bifrost gone,

  How much dark energy did the All-Father 90

  Require to send thee here on wings of light,

  Unto thy precious earth?

  THOR

  —I thought thee dead.

  LOKI

  And didst thou mourn or dance?

  THOR

  —We
all did mourn:

  Our father—

  LOKI

  —Father thine, not mine, in sooth.

  Hath he not told thee my true parentage? 95

  THOR

  We two were rais’d together, siblings full.

  We play’d together, fought together too.

  Canst thou remember naught of gladder times?

  LOKI

  A shadow I recall, but would forget—

  Each day hid by the shade of thy renown. 100

  Remember I how thou didst toss me down,

  In an abyss, who was and should be king.

  THOR

  Tak’st thou the world I love as recompense

  For all the slights thou dost imagine thine?

  Nay, Loki, I shall e’er protect the earth. 105

  LOKI

  Ha! Thereon hast thou done most marv’lously.

  The humans slay each other dreadfully,

  Their death by droves, whilst thou dost idly fret.

  I mean to rule them. Yea, why should I not?

  THOR

  Thou think’st thyself above them, verily? 110

  LOKI

  I do affirm it, and cannot deny.

  THOR

  How hast thou miss’d the truth of sov’reignty!

  A throne, my brother, badly thee would suit.

  LOKI

  I have known worlds as yet unknown to thee!

  Once exile had more terror in his look, 115

  Much more than death: yet, banishèd, I grew,

  Beheld the power of the Tesseract,

  And when I wield it, Odinson, I shall—

  THOR

  Who show’d thee? Who controls the would-be king?

  LOKI

  Thou imp, I am a king!

  THOR

  —Nay, never here! 120

  Give up the Tesseract and pois’nous dreams,

  Which murder by their toxins. Come thou home.

  LOKI

  The Tesseract is not in my possession.

  [Thor picks up his hammer to attack.

  Thou need’st the Cube to bring me home, ’tis true?

  Yet I have play’d thee false, have sent it off, 125

  I know not where.

  THOR

  —O, brother, take thou heed—

  ENTER TONY STARK, PUMMELING THOR AND KNOCKING HIM FAR ASIDE.

  LOKI

  [aside:] I listen, but mine ears thou dost ignore.

  THOR

  [to Stark:] Once was enow, wretch—ne’er touch me again.

  STARK

  If thou wouldst have me heed, take not my things.

  THOR

  In faith thou hast but little notion of 130

  The matters that thou facest presently.

  [Stark surveys the natural surroundings.

  STARK

  It seems it may be Marlowe in the Park?

  “Doth Mother knoweth thou weareth her drapeseth?”

 

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