by Ian Doescher
No backup we may offer you, my friend.
STARK
[into radio:] I’ll call upon Veronica. ’Tis time. 180
[He sends a command and, from space, the defense system Veronica is deployed. Exeunt Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff.
The missiles fly with me, to save a city,
And stop my friend who hath been turn’d to green,
With all the verdant messiness thereof.
[Exit Stark.
HULK
Rawr!
[Standing on the trapdoor, Hulk prepares to smash a police officer. Suddenly pieces of Veronica land around him, forming a barrier that encloses him. Several police officers surround the enclosure. Hulk tries to smash it from the inside.
POLICE 1
—Strength and terror in a monstrous form!
He crashes through the metal barrier 185
And shakes the very street we stand upon.
[The entire barrier sinks into the trapdoor, and Hulk emerges once again, shouting. Police officers shoot at him.
ENTER TONY STARK DRESSED IN THE HULKBUSTER SUIT.
STARK
I pray, stand down at once, good citizens
And officers of th’law! He’ll fall to me.
[To Hulk:] Wilt listen to me, avocado giant?
The little witch hath meddl’d with thy mind. 190
Thou stronger art, and smarter art, than she.
Thou art Bruce Banner, friend and genius.
HULK
—Rawr!
STARK
In faith, thou art correct. I should not mention
The name of puny Banner—sorry, sir.
[Hulk throws a car at Stark, which Stark catches. Hulk then pushes Stark, who responds by hitting Hulk. They fight.
If thou wouldst have it thus, lay on, thou Hulk! 195
[Stark grabs Hulk and drags him through the concrete.
Though thou may overturn a massive truck,
Thou shalt not overcome my newfound suit.
HULK
Rawr!
[Hulk hits Stark from behind, jabbing a telephone pole through his suit and pinning Stark to the ground.
STARK
—In the back? ’Twas such a cuckold’s move.
Thou, Banner, dost not fight with honor.
[Hulk begins tearing the Hulkbuster suit apart.
HULK
—Smash!
STARK
Insensate brute, I’ll smash thee in thy pate! 200
[Stark hits Hulk, knocking him far.
Veronica, a pole is in my suit,
Would give me thine assistance, if you please?
[A broken arm falls off the Hulkbuster suit, and Veronica replaces the pieces. Meanwhile, Stark fires at the approaching Hulk. Hulk and Stark hit each other, their fists colliding.
POLICE 2
O, pulse of two unmoving forces met—
The area entire doth feel the shockwave!
[Stark throws Hulk on the ground, pins him down, and begins hitting him in the head repeatedly.
STARK
I prithee, go to sleep, to sleep, to sleep! 205
HULK
Rawr!
[Hulk tries to grasp the Hulkbuster’s hand, but Veronica closes the armor around his fist so he is attached to the suit. Stark flies away, carrying Hulk.
STARK
—Instinct tells me we must exeunt—
I’ll fly thee far from town where thou canst no
More damage wreak upon the innocent.
Alas, thou heavy art, and steer my flight—
Into another building we have crash’d! 210
[They crash midflight and are separated. Hulk attacks Stark again.
Be sensible, Bruce, work with me awhile.
[Hulk knocks Stark into an elevator with many people inside. It falls.
Nay, no fatalities upon my watch!
I’ll grasp the falling elevator—out,
You people trapp’d inside, climb out at once!
[The people climb out of the elevator car to safety.
Now, going down! [Aside:] Such was th’expected jab! 215
[He hits Hulk, knocking out one of Hulk’s teeth.
[To Hulk:] Apologies. Thou wilt be flesh and blood;
For there was never yet a mutant man
Who could endure the toothache patiently,
However they were form’d in style of gods
And made a push at chance and sufferance. 220
[Hulk begins smashing Stark even more fiercely than before. Stark flies, with Hulk attached to him.
Computer, of my damage give report!
O, its response is unintelligible—
’Tis clear the suit hath comprehensive harm.
[To computer:] Give me some tool or scheme I may employ!
The building just ahead is empty quite— 225
How quickly may we buy the deed thereof?
[Stark drops Hulk inside the unfinished building, then jets after him, knocking him through the rafters and floors., The building crumbles down on top of them both.
POLICE 1
Ne’er cameth trouble to my city in
The likeness of this monster and this bot.
ENTER SOLDIERS, APPROACHING THE DEMOLISHED BUILDING.
SOLDIER 1
Go, men, and stop them!
SOLDIER 2
—Now, I prithee, move!
[Hulk emerges from the rubble, confused.
HULK
Egh!
[He sees citizens running in fear, then spots the soldiers preparing to shoot him. He prepares to strike when Stark hits Hulk, knocking him unconscious.
STARK
—It’s enow. Thy rage, at length, is o’er. 230
The public shall not thank us fighting men—
Th’Avengers cause their havoc once again.
[Exeunt.
SCENE 1
The Quinjet and the Barton homestead.
ENTER MARIA HILL ON BALCONY, AT STARK TOWER.
HILL
This ramshackle collection of unique
And special people, with such powers as
I never could imagine, is a trial.
Wheree’er they go, no matter their intentions,
They have a predilection to inflict 5
Such vast destruction on a populace
That their relations public dreadful are.
The news of Stark and Banner’s battle spreads
O’er all the world as fast as cannon shot.
I must communicate anon unto 10
These few, these happy few, this band of heroes,
And tell them what I see in these reports.
ENTER TONY STARK, STEVE ROGERS, THOR, BRUCE BANNER, NATASHA ROMANOFF, AND CLINT BARTON ON THEIR SHIP, ALL SEATED SEVERALLY.
[Into radio:] The news doth love ye, though none others do.
There is no call official that demands
Th’arrest of Banner, yet ’tis in the air. 15
STARK
[into radio:] If mine own Stark Relief Foundation could
But help undo the damage we have caus’d—
HILL
[into radio:] They are already there. How fares the team?
STARK
[into radio:] In truth, we all are shaken to the core.
A hit, a very palpable hit we 20
Have taken, yet it soon shall pass us by.
HILL
[into radio:] For now, remain in stealth mode and stay far
From here, where you will likely be pursued.
STARK
[into radio:] If I hear thee aright, thou sayest we<
br />
Must run and hide.
HILL
—Until we Ultron find, 25
I’ve little else to offer, Master Stark.
STARK
Indeed, we have but little, too. Farewell.
[Exit Maria Hill. Stark approaches Barton, who pilots the ship.
Wouldst thou switch out and let me fly awhile?
BARTON
My wings are steady, I’ll continue on.
If thou wouldst kip attain, now is the time 30
As we are hours, still, from our terminus.
STARK
I prithee, whither land we some hours hence?
BARTON
A safehouse where we may our spirits rest—
A nest where we may find shelter true.
[Hours pass. The ship lands at the Barton homestead in the countryside. All leave the ship and walk to the house.
THOR
What is this place where Barton taketh us? 35
STARK
It is a safehouse, so the man reports.
THOR
No house is safe unless I know it well.
BARTON
It shall be safe enow for ye, I hope.
[Calling out:] My ladybird? I have return’d.
ENTER LAURA BARTON, HIS SPOUSE.
LAURA
—My love!
BARTON
I have brought company. Apologies 40
That I call’d not ere I did land herein.
[Clint and Laura kiss.
STARK
It seems she is an agent of some kind—
For wherefore would a woman kiss our Barton
Unless she by some government were paid?
BARTON
My comrades all, this hen who rules the roost 45
Is Laura—she who is my wife and mate.
LAURA
I know your names already, verily.
ENTER COOPER AND LILA BARTON.
BARTON
Incoming op’ratives, both fast as swifts!
LILA
O, Father!
BARTON
—Hatchlings, come and me embrace!
[He hugs them.
ROGERS
[aside:] Most unexpected and o’erwhelming scene! 50
When had our Hawkeye space for family?
STARK
Improbably, these smaller agents are.
LILA
Didst thou bring Auntie Nat unto our home?
NATASHA
Why not give her a hug and thou shalt see!
No absence could e’er shroud my love for ye. 55
ROGERS
Apologies that we are bursting in
Sans any notice of our advent here.
STARK
In sooth, we gladly would have call’d ahead,
Yet we were busy having no idea
That ye existed.
BARTON
—Fury made th’arrangements 60
When I join’d S.H.I.E.L.D. to keep my flock secure.
He kept it from their files, which was—and is—
My fervent wish. It shall suffice for us,
To be unnotic’d for a while.
ROMANOFF
[to Laura:] —How is
The one who grows within the darkness of 65
Thy womb, the little babe I call Natasha?
LAURA
She is Nathaniel.
[Natasha bends down to speak to Laura’s pregnant belly.
NATASHA
—Little traitor thou!
[Exeunt Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, and Natasha Romanoff, with Cooper and Lila Barton.
THOR
[aside:] A child’s toy accident’ly I have crush’d
Beneath my feet—I’ll kick it gently neath
This chair, that none may know of mine offense. 70
Thor was not made for fam’ly life, forsooth.
[Thor walks aside and is followed by Rogers.
ROGERS
Thor, what is it? What trouble irks thy mind?
THOR
I witness’d something in the dream of mine—
There answers are that I must elsewhere seek.
[Thor swings his hammer around and exits, flying off.
ROGERS
[aside:] Doth this portend the breakup of our team? 75
I, too, was for this moment unprepar’d.
Domestic life—and luxuries thereof—
Was by my fate denied most cruelly.
[Exit Steve Rogers. Laura looks at Clint’s injury.
BARTON
See, thou wast worried over nothing, chicklet.
The difference thou canst not even feel— 80
The skin they did replace mine own skin with
Is unto mine own flesh the very twin.
LAURA
If they shall sleep here, some must double up—
We’ve not the rooms to house the lot of them.
BARTON
Methinks that shall not sell unto this clutch. 85
They’d peck each other unto death were they
To share a room or lie in bunk beds—ha!
LAURA
Yet what of Nat and Doctor Banner, Clint?
Since when hath that relationship grown close?
BARTON
What dost thy peeping mean?
[Laura laughs.
LAURA
—Thou art so cute 90
And clueless as the day is long, my love.
BARTON
Thou dost see Nat atop of Banner’s perch?
LAURA
The matter of these birds and bees I shall
Explain when thou art older, Hawkeye blind.
Now tell me, how doth thy group?
BARTON
—Very ill. 95
An albatross doth hang round each our necks.
LAURA
Natasha seemeth shaken mightily.
BARTON
It is these allies Ultron hath—mere kids,
Like punks who carry large and frightful sticks.
Nat took a battering most serious. 100
Someone must show these mockingbirds some manners.
LAURA
That someone shall be thou? Dear, thou know’st well
I utterly support all thine avenging,
Could not be prouder of what thou hast done.
Yet I look on those guys—those gods—and I— 105
BARTON
To them, thou think’st, I’m like th’unflying ostrich.
Thou dost believe they have no need of me?
LAURA
Methinks they do, which is far scarier.
They are a mess of powers and emotions.
BARTON
They are my mess, my brood, mine allies true. 110
LAURA
Thou must be sure this team is truly team,
Who have your back completely, utterly.
Things are in motion for our family;
In some few months, there shall be five of us.
Then thou and I shall be outnumberèd, 115
When three o’erwhelm our two. I need for thee…
Be sure of them when battle doth commence.
BARTON
I shall, chuck.
[She touches his injury again.
LAURA
—I can feel the difference.
[Exeunt.
SCENE 2
U-Gin genetics research lab, South Korea.
ENTER DOCTOR HELEN CHO AND HER ASSISTANTS.
CHO
Luneeka jumbootha peehengeero
Eethong heh. Let it be done as I say.
[Exeunt assistants. Cho walks into a private laboratory where the regeneration cradle is held.
ENTER ULTRON WITH OTHER ROBOTS UNDER HIS CONTROL.
ULTRON
Scream and your staff shall die ere dies thy sound.
I could have kill’d thee, Helen, if I chose, 5
Upon the night we met—yet I refrain’d.
CHO
Mayhap thou dost expect a thank-you note?
ULTRON
Nay, I expect thou know’st the reason why.
CHO
The cradle implement wherewith I heal’d
Clint Barton, and a thousand others, too. 10
ULTRON
“This is the future of technology”—
Those were thy boastful words to Tony Stark.
It is the future of myself, I think.
CHO
The cradle of regeneration doth
Print tissue, not create a body whole. 15
ULTRON
I say it can and will. I say thou canst.
Thou lackest only raw materials—
A brilliant woman art thou, Helen Cho,
But all of us have room for some improvement.
Where now thou seest impossibility, 20
Soon thou wilt know what thou canst do for me.
[A robot steps up behind Cho, pressing Loki’s spear against her chest. Some of its energy is released inside her, and she becomes submissive to Ultron. Exeunt.
SCENE 3
The Barton homestead.
ENTER BRUCE BANNER AND NATASHA ROMANOFF SEVERALLY.
ROMANOFF
[aside:] The memories of my hallucination,
Which Wanda Maximoff caus’d me to see,
Do echo in my mind in visions grim,
Which call to mind my haunted, ugly past.
BANNER
[aside:] The rage the Scarlet Witch plac’d in my mind 5
Is still so fresh that I can see it now,
Before me like an ever-present sight—
My massive shame, confusion, and regret.
[He walks into the room where Romanoff is seated.
[to Romanoff:] Apologies, I knew not thou didst wait
Upon thy turn within the lavatory. 10
ROMANOFF
Therein would I have join’d thee for a shower,
Were not the moment far too grim for that.
BANNER
The others the hot water hath depleted,
Colossal would have been the chill within.
ROMANOFF
Ah, then, I should have join’d thee—more fool I. 15